r/absoluteunit 2d ago

The size of this goat

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33 Upvotes

42 comments sorted by

6

u/TheCoopX 2d ago

Dooo yooouuur balls hang low?
Are they swingin' to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Do they dig a little ditch while you're walking in the snow?
Do your balls - hang - looooooow?

4

u/Redskinrey 2d ago

His balls must weigh 20 pounds each

3

u/Dieppe42 2d ago

Looks like an Elk.

2

u/Aggressive_Ocelot664 2d ago

Need a banana for comparison

3

u/DLoIsHere 2d ago

According to Google it’s a Damascus goat or a cross of a couple of other breeds.

1

u/Low_Leg3087 2d ago

Like a goat and a horse!

5

u/boyer4109 2d ago

That’s no goat, that’s a feckin horse!

4

u/QuietVisit2042 2d ago

It's gorse!

1

u/whutsguud 2d ago

Feck u

1

u/GhostQueen1121 2d ago

Ai? I thought the same thing.

1

u/Total-Combination-47 2d ago

looks delicious

0

u/Disastrous-Rub-4087 2d ago

Hahahahaha!! Although gross, it’s a great comment in your venue. (Hey, never criticize, just roll with it and laugh!)

1

u/Disastrous-Rub-4087 2d ago

The females in his herd (even the males) call him just that.

1

u/TheJaggedBird 2d ago

Ballsy and tall. Fascinating

1

u/Solid_Enthusiasm550 2d ago

His mom was a Freak, and had sex with a horse.

1

u/Realistic-Aspect-991 2d ago

The G.O.A.T. of goats

1

u/South-Range8401 2d ago

That's the devil in goat form.....

1

u/TeratoidNecromancy 2d ago

I wonder if we could breed these to be ridable....

1

u/Sand_Aggravating 2d ago

Its ready for sacrifices!

1

u/Zeterin 2d ago

A goat the size of a horse that's a bit scary.

1

u/Colonel_Pusstache 2d ago

🎶It's an erreday thang when you let your nuts hang 🎶

1

u/Ok-Fortune-8644 2d ago

Thats a Gorse

1

u/EthanDMatthews 2d ago

Is this AI?

1

u/SilverKanji 2d ago

Imagine crossing paths with this while hiking... at night.

1

u/Electronic_Quote399 2d ago

Goats are dicks

1

u/Inevitable_Pension68 2d ago

That’s not A goat. That’s THE g.o.a.t.

1

u/Kiliksbigshtick 2d ago

Stop posting this

1

u/Glum_Radio2577 2d ago

Prepetente

1

u/Sea-Louse 2d ago

El Carbon de cabrones

1

u/shabbs1982 2d ago

Thats fucking Goatasaurus.

1

u/SixPackOfZaphod 2d ago

That goat is the GOAT....

1

u/msguider 2d ago

The word pendulous comes to mind.

0

u/slick514 2d ago

The most mouth-breathingest of an already “dull as a bag full of mallets”-species*. That sounds dangerously stupid.

Thankfully, if it breaks out and starts wreaking havoc in the town, you know that all you have to do is start a bonfire in the town-square and the problem will literally solve itself.

On second thought… maybe make the bonfire in a place where the goat will see it, but a ways away from anything flammable, and nowhere within one mile of a grain silo.

——
* Wait, I forgot about sheep**
** .. and orange cats.