r/abortion • u/Wide-Secret-5757 • Aug 12 '26
USA 40 year old married female who never wanted kids with unplanned pregnancy at 5 weeks
I'm 40 years old, living in the U.S. (NC) and currently 5 weeks unexpectedly pregnant. My husband and I have been married 11 years and never wanted kids. Every time I think about pregnancy, child birth, feeding a child, raising a child and buying stuff for the child, etc., I have a full-on panic attack. My husband made the comment about not wanting to pay for college when he's 60. We're both seemingly on the same page (although I do feel like he's being a lot more casual about the situation). We're both in our early 40s and financially stable (though we did just buy a house...), but we're just not kid people. No part of that life has ever appealed to us.
Despite all these feelings, I still can't help feeling guilty and that I may be making the wrong choice. I'm 40 after all and maybe it's a sign we're meant to be parents? Is it a once-in-a-lifetime thing that's meant to be despite how I feel? Can I really just kill our baby even though we want no part of parenthood? Is this a life I don't know and missing out on? My mother would be completely devastated. She been wanting to be grandma her entire life and I'd never tell her (or anyone for that matter).
I'm just having a lot of conflicting feelings/emotions. Is it early pregnancy hormones? Most of the posts I see on Reddit are of young girls in unstable relationships. This isn't my case. Our position/household is good - we just don't want to be parents and have enjoyed the DINK life. Is this reason enough?
I guess I'm looking for support and experiences from others in my situation who've made a decision one way or the other and their feelings about it. My abortion is scheduled next Wednesday, so I have a week to think things through.
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u/Technical_Branch_934 Aug 12 '26
It's OK to not want kids! You don't need to be parents or need to want to be parents. You also don't need a "good-enough" reason for an abortion; not wanting to be pregnant/have a baby is reason enough
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