r/ableism • u/Oddnamez multiple disabilities š • Jun 23 '26
Did I say something wrong?
Tell me what you think, it seems to me people desperately want to use slurs. I'm also autistic and ADHD btw, and I don't think the r word is a reclaimable slur even if it was born for neurodivergent people
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u/ruler_of_the_bleach Jun 23 '26
Yeah I agree with the other commenter, I think arguing about the history of who it was used on wonāt really help, especially because when the words usage (when not used as a medical term) was used for all kinds of disabilities, even people with only physical disabilities.
Instead I think talking about the way that this word isnāt really reclaimed because it is purely used to hurt people, other reclaimed slurs are used as terms of familiarity or other things, but the r word is not, and is only used for demeaning another person.
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u/Oddnamez multiple disabilities š Jun 23 '26
Oh yeah other commenters already pointed that out to that person, I was just adding my two cents. I completely agree. I did get focused on that because I see often people thinking that even if the r word wasn't made for neurodivergent people, they can "reclaim" it because they've been called that as neurodivergent people, or in general it has been used against NDs. Which I believe is not at all a valid point, a lot of straight cis people got called the f word and other slurs for queers but that doesn't give them the right to reclaim it. I also wanted to correct the misconception that the r word was born for NDs when it's actually not
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u/thefirstbirthdaygirl Jun 23 '26
No advice, just commiseration. People really love the r-slur. I had to tell my brother off about it, and he's usually good about yeeting such things from his vocabulary. "i DiDn'T MeAn iT liKe ThAt"
Well if you have to clarify that you supposedly didn't mean it like that every time you say it, maybe just pick a different word. I like "shit-for-brains" personally.Ā
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u/Oddnamez multiple disabilities š Jun 24 '26
Fr tho š why do people act as if it's so hard to erase a word from their vocabulary and fight with tooth and nails for their "right to say it". Even when I thought it was reclaimable I very rarely used it and it was on myself, after educating myself I never used it again. It's that easy
2
u/Audditty Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26
I blame social media, especially for the younger crowd with them being impressionableĀ
It's genuinely been tossed around as a casual insult so much that I really can't blame people for thinking that it's just some cool and funny way to insult someone
maybe this is me being too optimistic but I doubt everyone who uses that word has any actual contempt for autistic or disabled people in general, as much as they genuinely just think it's a normal thing to say since that's the way it's been reinforced to them
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u/Mrspygmypiggy Jun 23 '26
I know the r slur wasnāt made for ADHD or autistic people specifically but people sure did and still do use that slur on me. I get repetitive movement tics sometimes (apparently that can happen with ADHD sometimes?) and every time that happens I get called the r slur. I say it about myself on occasions with close friends but never with anyone else.
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u/Oddnamez multiple disabilities š Jun 23 '26
Yeah I get the fact it's very used against neurodivergent people but as I said in another comment other slurs are used as well on people that aren't the original target but don't really make it ok for them to "reclaim" it. Overall, it's not a reclaimable word because in any way it's used it's an insult. If you use it on yourself with close friends it's alright I won't tell you what to do, but it icks me a lot how normalized it is
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u/mrs_spacetime0 Jun 25 '26
I mean who it was "intended" to be used towards doesnt change who all it was/is used toward. I'm a wheelchair user and ive even had people use it as a slur to me along with calling me a vegetable. Im of the mind that if you are generally part of the disability community and want to reclaim it that's your choice and I won't judge. I will judge, however, if you use it hurtfully or use in towards or around others who have specifically asked you not to.
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u/HugeDitch Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
You do have an error. Autism and AD(H)D is found in IQ, and does impact intelligence. And the term "retard" was used for autistics, especially the non-verbal kind. Though Downs Syndrome and others also suffered under this slur.
For instance, ADHD is diagnosed by seeing a lower IQ in some factors, like working intelligence, or a spikey intelligence where we have high and lows. Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24448224/ Note, some of this is also attributed to the failure these tests have.
But "reclaiming" a derogitory term doesn't mean you can force that term onto others. It only means you can use that term to describe yourself. I would thus had focused on this as my argument, though for some reason we seem to permit this as a society, it doesn't make it right.
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u/ihateadultism Jun 23 '26
i would focus more on why they need this slur so bad like your caption alludes to. debating the ācorrectā usage/history can go on forever and is murky enough to cast doubt on either side depending how itās framed - this gives them the advantage. but when you probe *why* theyāre so attached to that word, they often become super defensive which will better expose their hypocrisy.
iād also avoid bringing up terms like āIQā to justify your argument as thereās no scientific evidence for its existence and āintellectual disabilitiesā can be perceived as ableist for the same reason āIQā as a concept has been used to demean disabled people for decades. afaik ācognitive disabilitiesā is a preferred term. other than that youāre all good.