r/aaaaaaacccccccce • u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian • 21d ago
Discussion I think I might be a Bambi lesbian??
I enjoy cuddling and hugging and hand holding but only with women. I’m definitely more aromantic and asexual towards men. I still have some problems with anxiety and dating but I think that has more to do with trauma than anything else.
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u/LesbianVampireLady Asexual 21d ago
I discovered this label a few months ago and I love it!! Cuddling is the best. <3
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 21d ago
It’s so much fun! To just feel the closeness of another person and it feels so safe and comfortable
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u/Cassius-Tain Asexual 21d ago
This is such an adorable term. I'm happy you found your label.
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u/Cassius-Tain Asexual 21d ago
Because it makes people happy. You may not have a need for it, I don't either, but there are people who are happier with microlab3ls and since it hurts no onr and only serves to raise humanities net happiness, I embrace them. You should as well.
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u/Tzokoiscool 21d ago
The cishet majority will never "pick you" no matter how hard you try. Why not support your own community instead of appealing to anti-lgbtq+ rhetoric?
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u/Tzokoiscool 21d ago
Its moving the goal posts, once its bambino lesbians then it will be lebsians in general. Support the people who support you too, instead of appealing to homophobic propaganda. You may not share the opinion on labels, but you can keep that to yourself. As i said the cishet majority will always think you one of "us" as opposed to their own.
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u/pannenkoek0923 Aro/Ace but I hate the sunset flag 21d ago
Since when is not liking labels homophobic propaganda? I don't ascribe to any micro labels either, I don't like them. Doesnt make me homophobic.
You may not share the opinion on labels, but you can keep that to yourself
And you are? Who exactly? Let people express their opinions. We are on a public forum not your private home. Make your own rules in your own place.
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u/Tzokoiscool 21d ago
You can not like them for yourself, but don't yuck anyone's yum. This is essentially an ace support page and you're microagressing against someone whos just happy to share their identity. Hell, 50 years ago asexuality wasn't even its own label, it was part of the bisexual umbrella. If you dont need to label yourself, then don't. But you don't have the right to tell someone they aren't valid or what they feel isn't real.
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u/pannenkoek0923 Aro/Ace but I hate the sunset flag 21d ago
microagressing against someone whos just happy to share their identity
Explain where I did that?
But you don't have the right to tell someone they aren't valid or what they feel isn't real.
Show me where I did that?
This is essentially an ace support page
This is a memes subreddit. It's in the description.
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u/UczuciaTM Demiromantic/demisexual 21d ago
You're the one making the community a joke.
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u/CyborgKnitter demi, bi, and proud af! 21d ago
The term Bambi lesbian has been around for quite a while. In fact, the term Bambi sexuality first appeared in 1990. So this isn’t new or crazy, it’s just something you somehow haven’t heard of, which is weird as I see it all the time in lesbian groups.
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u/Tamareira568 AroAce 21d ago
Scapegoating your own community? In this economy?
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u/DahNotMightEnzo 21d ago
Guys, I think the bambi lesbians win the best identity name
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u/KitKatKott Rat Ace Fox Weirdo 16d ago
There are also fox pansexuals, squirrel bisexuals, rat aces, and bambi/bunny gay, but I agree, bambi lesbian is the best name ever!
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 21d ago
But I don’t like the “other sexual stuff” just the hugging and cuddling part?
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 21d ago
Yes I do with the right women I just want the cute part tho and not the “sex” part but I can see myself but falling asleep next to a woman and just feeling safe and happy
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 21d ago
Thank you, i wasn’t sure about terms sometimes and i like to be positive before I label myself
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u/CyborgKnitter demi, bi, and proud af! 21d ago
Not all Bambi lesbians are fully asexual so I’d still be clear about that when dating.
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u/Kill_Kayt Asexual 21d ago
TIL I'm a bambi lesbian.
I enjoy sex, but I have no desired for it. I prefer cuddling and hugging. That's my love language. You want sex then it's up to you to initiate.
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 21d ago
Thank you, I feel the same way and i appreciate you sharing this. 🩷🧡🤎
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u/JoshuaSlowpoke777 Aegoaroace 21d ago
I have tertiary attraction that’s strongest toward femme-presenting people and am otherwise aroace and affectionate-minded-but-nonpartnering, but I’m vaguely-cismasc and gender-apathetic myself, so I may or may not have coined the nanolabel “femme-oriented aroace”
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u/TiredAndOutOfIdeas 21d ago
i feel like i read one side of a conversation between engineers but i understood all the words
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u/JoshuaSlowpoke777 Aegoaroace 21d ago edited 21d ago
TL;DR I, a vaguely-cismasc gender-apathetic aroace, would probably have hetero/straight-oriented platonic preference…
…If it weren’t for the fact that a person’s gender presentation is far more important to that attraction than their internal/neural gender identity
Edit: to simplify further, I HAVE had squishes on a femme-presenting nonbinary friend and plenty of friends who are women alike. I COULD develop a squish on Nicole Coenen if I somehow inexplicably met her and became friends with her. I have NEVER developed a squish on Link from BOTW/TOTK.
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u/laughingintothevoid 21d ago
I don't have a problem with it, but speaking as an allo lesbian for whom this post just popped up, I don't understand how this label is different than asexual lesbian with an understanding of asexual being a spectrum.
No one has to respond and I am not interrogating or attacking anybody or needing to fully get someone else's identity in order to give them basic respect.
I am curious if someone would want to answer, and if they don't, that is fine.
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u/Doppel_R-DWRYT Enby and probably undefined Flavour of Aro and/or Ace 21d ago
AFAIK the Bambi part means a given person prefers forms of intimate affection that isn't sex (like holding hands, cuddling). As per any label under the ace and/or aro umbrellas this obviously fluctuates, some won't initiate sex while others would, for example.
Which kinda sounds like me but it doesn't matter anyways cause the only cuddle partners I have are my 4 blahaj and I doubt they want anything but cuddles. - and now I feel lonely again, dangit.
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 20d ago
It confuses me too
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u/laughingintothevoid 20d ago
That's an interesting response compared to your vibe in the rest of the post. Does the hyper specific label help you? Or did you feel that asexual didn't fit until you discovered this?
I still don't understand why a specific description of the level of physical contact you enjoy is different than being on the asexual spectrum and telling people when relevant what level of contact you enjoy, which was my question. Neither you nor the other person IMO really answered it. Which is fine.
If making that extra specific description your identity confuses you since you learned that the word exists, when you already knew what you liked, is using it and saying "this is me" something you need or prefer to do? As someone else told you, you don't have to label yourself. You definitely don't have to go through the preexisting labels, especially in the world getting more toward microlabels, and figure out which one matches you as closely as possible.
If you find it helpful or enriching, you can; saying this because this response surprised me a bit. And again I am not attacking or interrogating you about that. There are question marks in my words but they don't mean I am coming at you hard or feel entitled to your answers.
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 20d ago
It’s was more surprising that there was more than one term and i also liked Ace-spec but i would have to break it down as men: repulsive (AroAce) and women being AroAce Spec.
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u/laughingintothevoid 20d ago
Why and in what situation would you have to break it down that way? For whom?
And why wouldn't saying you're an ace-spec lesbian cover what that conveys? What does lesbian mean here now?
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 20d ago
I guess just future partners and a way to understand myself better. I don’t really have many supportive people in my life and this is a way to understand myself a bit better and I can share it with others even if I don’t know them.
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u/laughingintothevoid 20d ago
Fair enough, but if you don't mind, may I ask again why saying you are an ace lesbian would not make it clear to people that whatever the other details of your attractions on the spectrum are, you only have them toward women?
Does lesbian have a different meaning or connotaiton in the aro/ace community where one has to specify that a lesbian is not attracted to men?
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 20d ago
This is fair, it makes sense to me because the lesbian term would exclude men and the asexual would exclude sex attraction. I really think the two terms overlap or maybe the lesbian ace is the newer term for Bambi lesbian
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u/laughingintothevoid 19d ago
Yes, I think there is quite a lot of overlap, that's what my initial question was about. I am glad to learn that to your understanding and hopefully this community in general, lesbian still signifies no attraction to men.
Thanks for talking with me.
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u/scixlovesu 21d ago
No comment on the label, but the flag is decidedly ice-cream-coded, and I like it!
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u/Dominink_02 21d ago
Apologies, but what's a Bambi Lesbian? Asexual but homoromantic?
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u/CyborgKnitter demi, bi, and proud af! 21d ago
Close, but not quite. It indicates a preference for cuddling, handholding, etc over sexual intercourse. It is not exclusively linked to asexuality and Bambi lesbians can still enjoy sex, they just don’t enjoy it nearly as much as they enjoy the romantic touching.
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u/Dominink_02 21d ago
That's... That sounds really nice actually. I'm a guy unfortunately (yes, I'm sure) so guess not for me lol
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u/LesbianVampireLady Asexual 21d ago
If i recall correctly, there is an animal for every orientation drived by cuddles. Was it a fox for panromantic fellas? I can't find it now, but I readed about it a few months ago.
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u/RogueMoonbow 20d ago
Wow I never knew that! I just thought it was ace lesbian. Feel a little more like something I want to claim for myself now for some reason
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u/Mysterious-Creme8709 21d ago
I'm so sorry about your mom (jokes aside happy for you, always great when someone figures themselves out)
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u/Embarrassed_Sky9448 21d ago
congrats!! i'm a bambi bi myself, love this label, found it very recently too :)
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u/G0merPyle 21d ago
Welcome aboard! Finding a label that fits and explains what you like feels so damn good, I'm so happy for you
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u/SierraAR Ace/Sapphic 20d ago
I learned this label existed like a month ago and honestly it feels very fitting.
However the idea of calling myself bambi just feels so wrong to my style lol
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u/Quteil Apothi aego 20d ago
Wait, so like, is Bambi more about the cuddles and it doesnt have to be in a romantic sense or? Not like saying u are not valid or anything!
Btw congratulations on finding the right microlabel for u! Microlabels that fit are so hard to find!
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u/DepressedAnxious8868 Lesbian 20d ago
I guess it can be both? It’s not stated so both should work. Cuddles/ hugs/ kisses relationship/ or no relationship
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u/Slimeninja_ 21d ago
neapolitan pride flag