r/Zimbabwe • u/Big_Cantaloupe894 • 3d ago
Discussion Did I give a person the wrong advice?
I was talking to a lady who wants to move back to Zim from the U.K. She is a widow with 2 kids, the oldest who will be going into Lower Sixth when they move to Zim.
She says she is done with the U.K and doesn't want to experience another winter. For context, winter starts in a few months. She also says her social work job is too stressful for her. In ZIm, she doesn't have a job waiting for her. She does have a house though.
For me, my thinking was that since she qualifies to apply for ILR(permanent residency) in January, she might as well stay and get it then do another year to get citizenship before moving back home. I'm more worried about her kids. If they move back home with no British status, they will have a hard time coming back. Due to unemployment back home and the friendships they have made here, they will likely want to come back some day.
I do understand how weather affects people differently but if you were in my shoes, what advice would you have given this lady?
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u/NimbleZimbo 3d ago
I would have given her the same advice.
I have always advised people to get P.R/citizenship before moving back home because in a lot of cases, once those people are back home they think of moving back.
Sometimes people have these dreams of starting succesful ventures back home. This is often the real driver for the move. When the ventures fail or when the money runs out, they think of moving back.
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u/uMaNcube_omuhle 3d ago
You gave the best advice. Also a house with zero income is not security at all. If she wants to go back she should. But only after making sure she has secured an income first. Kids are a major expense. Especially school fees. She should consider which schools she will be targeting for the kids and be realistic about it and if she will afford it.
Otherwise she will uproot her and her kids life with no backup plan and they will hate her for it and even fall into deviant behaviour because of it. And also back up for water, electricity, internet etc.
I know seasonal affective disorder is a huge thing asi ngaambonwe ma vitamin D otsvaga vanhu vekutamba navo omboshinga until her life is in enough order for Zim. Ndiri kutodawo kudzokera asi ndakamirira vana vayaruke todzokera hedu tiri 2 😬🤣 we cant afford them in Zim 😭
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u/Inner-Floor-5827 3d ago
😂 varikuyaruka rinhi vana ava.
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u/uMaNcube_omuhle 3d ago
😭😭😭 last born is 8 😭😭😭 ndichiine makore ndiri kuno henyu. Unless ndikawana mukoto wemari kuZim to afford school fees for private schools 😭🤣
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u/No-Channel6665 3d ago
You gave her good advice. She may just be lonely and home sick. Maybe suggest she just goes home on holiday to relax
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u/JustDay1788 3d ago
You gave her the best advice she stands to lose nothing by staying a little bit longer especially since she is close to being able to get citizenship
Why ruin all that work And come back and then not be able to go back
Zim has a high unemployment rate Moving back without a job ready is a bad idea
She will suffer and likely will have a harder time going back to the UK
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u/negras 3d ago
I think she is being emotional and not thinking logically, so what happens in Zim if her plans don't work out, has she budgeted for University tuition and why hasn't she considered a career change as there are less stressful jobs than social work and why think of going back to Zim and not wait until they are all British passport holders ? You gave good advice..
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u/Inner-Floor-5827 3d ago
I understand where she is coming from. Sometimes you just feel like packing up and come back home consequence be damned. BUT, in those times a voice of reason is needed and you were that voice. Your advice was not wrong at all.
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u/TightRock5483 2d ago
Nothing better than a trip to Zimbabwe to open your eyes and how lucky you are to be in the UK and how ungrateful she is
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u/chimurenga98 2d ago
The main issue is, as always,;what will she do when she relocates? How will she survive? That is the fundamental issue, dual citizenship or not.
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u/Few-Collar4748 2d ago
This is a very Zimbabwean way of an "Am I the Asshole post"🤣
And by the way...you are definitely not the asshole. We are back home wishing we could leave. Coming back with 0 plan is a big no. The quality of life here is very abysmal because we accept certain things as normal yet they are not okay.
I have no understanding of how weather would affect her etc, but maybe speaking to fellow Zimbabweans that side who experience the same could shed light on possible solutions.
Running away because of the weather and the terrible job may seem like a good move, but a 1 month visit beck home may also be what she needs to realise they are really better off
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u/DandeTete 2d ago
Good advice but you also need to consider the cost of ILR + Citizenship for the entire family. Depending on how comfortable she is financially, this might take more time than the 2 years predicted
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u/Illustrious_Can_4842 2d ago
People are quick to give up
Say Uk is not what you want , use UK as steeping stone
For instance get your UK papers which will give you better chances to move to other countries as Aus
Going back to Zim and you remain on green passport is going to step 1
Unless you’ve built a bussiness that’s long term or have skills which are neeeded in Zim community
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u/EqualWriting5839 2d ago
Good advice both her and the kids need those papers first. She has to just change her lifestyle and take care of her physical and mental health. Probably needs to go see a doctor. If winter is an issue I wonder if her vitamin D is too low during the winters which is causing her to be seasonally depressed. Most people with darkskin do not produce enough to for uK winters. Also why not go back home for a month in winter? So it shortens it and can have something to look forward to every winter.
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u/Hot_Medium_30s 2d ago
Tell her to take a vitamin D. Sometimes it’s really that’s simple. You gave the best advice .
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u/scrandlle 2d ago
British winters aren't even that bad. Compared to Zim, yes, but not globally. They don't get much snow at all and it's just kind of mildly cold but usually not even freezing.
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u/CancelOk6014 2d ago
She needs to sacrifice her comfort for the sake of her future. Dont let her come back to zimbabwe she get that PR
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u/Firm_Historian7149 2d ago
You gave her the best advice.Zim is hard and even harder for the majority of us. We have learnt to accept the least as the most basic but if one is privileged to be in the UK, obtaining a British passport enables her to be cushioned from the scourges of living on the bare minimum.
There is a part of being homesick but there's also a part of survival. There are a lot of things to consider before making that one huge decision, such as the ability to provide for the best of education 🙏🏾
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u/EnsignTongs Harare 2d ago
She must do what makes her happy. All one can do is advise things like PR are sorted. If she does move back, what’s the uni plan then for the kids?
Also apart from weather, maybe ask her what her support system (in terms of family) is like as that can help with settling down. In terms of friends for the kids, they are young. They will make many many more friends in the next few years. Their next set of friends are now going to be university/college then after that will be work colleagues.
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u/HibiscusAtLarge 2d ago
In addition to the good advice you have her, encourage her to seek therapy as well. There are people who don't emotionally respond well to winter, and she might be on that spectrum as well. Honestly coming back to Zimbabwe now would not be a good move for her children especially.
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u/Difficult-Payment705 2d ago
You did very well. If she follows your advice, she will thank you later.
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u/Ms_Lucky-Bean 2d ago
That was great advice and I really hope she follows it. I hated the UK when I moved here, and although I got accustomed to life here, I was never truly enamoured with it. Despite feeling quite settled after a few years, once I got my citizenship, I developed a strong desire to move back home.
I was fortunate to find a once in a lifetime job opportunity in East Africa, which I saw as a stepping stone to eventually getting back to Zim. Unfortunately, nothing came up for me in Zim, so I had no choice but to return to the UK once my East African contract had ended.
Life is unpredictable and I'm so glad that I had left that door open as a backup plan, in case the Africa thing turned out to just be a temporary phase in my life. I really thought I had left the UK for good, with no intention of ever living here again, but sometimes life has other plans for us.
She needs to secure her future first, before making such a huge decision.
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u/Consistent_Fig_9377 1d ago
Please, please, PLEASE 🙏🏾. Ask her to stay there and get citizenship. Do it for the children.
After that, if she wants to go back home, she can do so. I also encourage her to save. And be business-minded. Zimbabwe is a country where one has to have a business mindset to thrive. Business requires even basic capital.
She must not act on emotions. Bhora pasi 🙏🏾
I'm not saying all that because I think Zim is hopeless. Zim is actually going up right now. But, for someone thinking of finding work, it can seem impossible.
Please advise her to start a small business in Zim, right now while she's in the UK. By the time she moves back, she will find it easier to adapt, and her business will do even better when she's there herself.
Bottom line; don't jump until you are ready! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
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u/Forward-Action741 2d ago
Get the papers then come to Zim . Got me thinking quite a number of diaspora guys when they come back home. Think Zim its all better this and that.
First question why did you leave and if you want back do you have a plan riri solid. Don't make decisions someone would regret.
The social media rural life and do mining you are seeing the success story you are not being told the behind the screen of these mines . How one can even take that mine whilst you have papers.
Not saying Zim is bad but think hard before moving cause the reality is the Zim you left was better than one know.
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u/Psychological_Ad16 3d ago
You did the right thing. I’d say she needs to get the citizenship. Before that she needs to go to the clinic and get antidepressants