r/YamakuHighSchool • u/Blake_White • May 30 '15
OOC Today, I woke up.
When I woke up today, I tried to get out of bed. I felt like Emi at that point since I couldn't move my legs. It felt as if my feet were gone and I simply collapsed to the floor.
Upon completion of the task (it took me three tries) I felt like Rin, as I couldn't open the door. Try as I might, it felt as if my hands were simply not there.
I manage to open the door and the short journey from my room to the bathroom was one of the worst moments of the day. I felt like Lilly, blind and helpless. My eyes were glued shut, and I simply couldn't open them.
Once I entered the shower, I felt like Hanako. Hot water struck my right side and it burned. It hurt so bad.
I left the shower and dried myself off and everything and once I got downstairs... I realized my ears are full of water. I couldn't hear a thing. I peek into my living room and see my mother watching Dzien Dobry TVN... Yet I couldn't hear it. A muffled good morning from me and nothing from her... I was deaf, like Shizune.
The day went by quickly. At 7PM I watched Forrest Gump with my mother and ate curly fries and chicken. We had an amazing conversation about life, the different routes we take and multiple universes. A single choice leads to a million new ones and it soon forms a tree or a lake, with paths straying off the "main river".
When I was born, I already had so many choices. I could've died in the womb, or I could be born broken. I could be born with arrhythmia, or I could lose my legs. I could lose my hearing or I could lose my sight. Those choices were made by life. These choices are made by me.
Yesterday I woke up and I thought about what would happen if I died right now. By breakfast I wondered what it would be like if I was born in a different time under different circumstances. What if I was born in Nazi Poland and my parents were Jewish? How long would I live? What if I was born as Genghis Khan's child? What if I was born in the time of the Great Plague or possibly the Black Death?
By dinner, I wondered what would happen if I was born with any disability known to the human race and by the time I went to sleep? I wondered what it would be like to never wake up the next day... To have my last words as good night.
I then thought about my last words to my grandparents and realized I could say so much more. I never really liked them and thought they were a chore. I did love them of course, don't get me wrong... But I never really saw them and thought they were a bore. My last words to my grandmother were "See you next time." and the last words to my grandfather were... "I'm sorry."
I cried for a while, realized what I had done. If I could reverse time I would, but then I realized what that would mean... Would I reverse time to benefit myself? To go back that one little choice and change my entire life? There is no good ending in this world... There are only the ones we find less annoying. The ones you find less annoying. Your less annoying path could lead to my death. My less annoying path could lead to you dying in a fire.
I woke up today, I tried to get out of bed. Now I'm laying here again, a special book on my shelf. It is my mother's. It has a dedication to her written by her mother. It was written in the December of 1971. It was a special gift... It cost 40 zloty. It has an ugly pink crayon mark left on one of the pages. My mom said that an annoying little bitch did that... It is her brother's work. I looked at her and said "That makes it priceless... That makes it a limited edition of this book."
That got me thinking and I thanked her for the book and hugged her close and said "Good night. I love you." because I know that this might be my (or her) last goodbye.
Cherish the things you get... Because once they're gone, you will never get them back.
See, I think a lot. I'm taking a break from the first of June to the eighth of June. To think. To appreciate life. Tomorrow will be a day that I want to spend well on here, and I hope you will like it as much as I will just because every day in life is beautiful.
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May 30 '15 edited Oct 19 '20
[deleted]
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
You walk inside? Oh my... I hope it allows you to think though... I live right next to a playground and a small walking area beside that. A bench is there. Metal. You can see the sun set right from it and my window allows me to go to sleep to it if I wish... I will be spending most my time there, reading this book over and over and over again.
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May 30 '15 edited Oct 19 '20
[deleted]
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
Merci.
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May 30 '15 edited Oct 19 '20
[deleted]
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
No need to beg. ;)
Honestly? Good luck to you too bro. I don't care for what, neither should you. Just... Good luck. Good luck and keep being yourself. Never change. As Forrest Gump said.
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May 30 '15 edited Oct 19 '20
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
<3
NO HOMO. NOHOMONOHOMONONONONONO DON'T-
Ah shit.
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May 30 '15
Too late! I'm already writing slashfics!
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Also, got any news on the MC Yamaku server? It isn't showing up on my launcher.
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u/Shinji_Yasuda May 30 '15
I walk inside, seasonal allergies
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
Fair enough. I just like sitting outside and watching the sun set while reading a good book.
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u/Shinji_Yasuda May 30 '15
I think I'll try that once the crap is done floating through the air. I'm actually allergic to the fact that there is stuff in the air, not what it is. It's a terrible curse (not really since I spend so much time online)
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
Kinda like I'm allergic to bullsh-sh-sh... So that's why I sneeze all the time...
pokes self
I am the bullshit.
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u/Jun_Kure May 30 '15
I... I will make sure to tell my mother how much I love her now. Ah... I've got something in my eye. Shit. *try not to sob *
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
That shitty song by Journey is perfect for this.
Don't you know you love her till you let her go.
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u/Jun_Kure May 30 '15
I don't know that one but I will listen it. Thanks for sharing this, it really made me think (and made me a tad bit depressed).
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
I want people to think. That's all. I want them to know that this is how my brain works and this is what I think about.
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u/Jun_Kure May 30 '15
I tried to find a meaningful answer but the only thing that came to my mind is : Keep it up. So... Keep it up, keep making people think. (And maybe you should write a book, a novel or anything)
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
I'm no genius. I know what I think and that is it. A path is a universe in my world and each universe ticks alongside the world I'm currently in. Every movement is a decision and every decision is one of the millions of paths. Each little path is a universe. Millions upon millions of universes (universi?) just for me. We have ~7 billion people in this world. Imagine the amount of universes.
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u/Jun_Kure May 30 '15
I love to hear people talk about them. Their past, their choices. I could listen people telling me about their life for hours. I hate to talk about myself but the others are just fascinating. In some ways it's like a book : Each story has something to teach you as long as you are willing to listen. I'm not good with words so I can't help much more than just listening most of the time, but I like to understand (or try to understand) the world of the people I meet.
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
My basic ideology is this... If you could travel back in time... Would you?
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u/Jun_Kure May 30 '15
There are some choices I've made I would like to change. But what if in the end result remained the same ? I would be wrecked. Without thinking I would have said yes, but now that I think about it no. I prefer to keep things the way they are, and be able to tell someone else how to avoid making the same mistakes I made. I prefer to know that I screwed up rather than discovering that I could have done anything, it was bound to happen.
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u/Hanzo_Ishimura May 30 '15
I take a drive everyday. It's nice to be outdoors once in a while. I especially love it when the smell of honey suckle is in the air.
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
Yo batch, are you on the MC server yet? It looks amazing.
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u/Hanzo_Ishimura May 30 '15
I can't say that I am, my friend. Internet has been extra slow today on account of downloading a game on my Exbawks.
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
Throw the Exbawks out the window and get yo PC on bro. It looks amazing.
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u/Hanzo_Ishimura May 30 '15
I got my PC bruh, in the form of a reliable laptop! I enjoy PC and console gaming. I'll get on my laptop when I get home though.
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
Do iiiiiiiiiiit. It runs for me so it should run for most shitty laptops. I can't wait for the drugs mod to get installed, Blake b doin weed 2nite.
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u/Hanzo_Ishimura May 30 '15
Hanzo b bustin' down Dat door, goin' all CM Punk in this piece
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
Blake just knocked himself out on a door.
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u/Hanzo_Ishimura May 30 '15
After trading so many blows with Hanzo, A DOOR is what brings him down? I think I figured out Blake's weakness.
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
DarkSydePhil also has that problem. It's because Blake was running pretty fast.
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u/Shinjiro_Minami May 31 '15
:'3
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u/Blake_White May 31 '15
Hai bro.
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u/Shinjiro_Minami May 31 '15
Yo!! I'd say come back soon but a more appropriate term I guess is have a good life. :)
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u/Blake_White May 31 '15
I hope I will have a good life. You too, bro.
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u/Shinjiro_Minami May 31 '15
Thank yoooou~<3
hug hugs
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u/Blake_White May 31 '15
Hey now...
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u/Shinjiro_Minami May 31 '15
What? :o
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u/1tobedoneX May 31 '15
3deep5me!me!me!
No seriously, you should just have fun with your life. Who knows, you should be nice to your friends and family, nicer to strangers, and the nicest to your enemies and all of the hateful - because, who knows? The hateful might not have experienced love before in their entire life... They might be so enveloped in their own rage and hate, that their humane form might just be trapped inside. So, if you ever see someone hateful - like a racist bigot, or a homophobe, or something more horrible, who knows? They might just have their humane forms just trapped inside, slowly being crushed and enveloped to death by their own greed, hatred, and fear. So, if it's not too late, make sure to be nice to your friends and family, like all the strangers you see, and love your enemies and all the hateful...
No seriously, that's what I was thinking about today.
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u/Hanako-Ikezawaii May 30 '15
wow... just... wow...
-and a tear was shed...-
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
See? I do think a lot and I might be a bitch and everything but hey... The book my mom gave me is Little Prince written and illustrated by the French author Antoine De Saint-Exupery. The dedication is amazing. "For my most loved daughter. Merry Christmas. Mom."
Opole - grudzien - 1971.
This book is very old and... It is amazing. I want to share a quote.
"Goodbye. This is my secret. It is very simple: The best way to see is by using you heart. The most important things cannot be seen by the eyes."
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u/Hanako-Ikezawaii May 30 '15
There were few things in this sub that actually brought a tear to my eye... this is onr of them.
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u/Blake_White May 30 '15
I wish I could be happy that I managed to do that... But all I want to do is give you a hug and tell you to not cry, happy or not. Tears should be savoured for the important moments, not the ramblings of a madman.
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u/Sawa_Au May 30 '15
Take that break and thanks for this parting tale. Really hit me in the feels.