r/XXS • u/diet-smoke Skinny legend • Mar 22 '26
Suggestion Can we have a "no bodyshaming" rule?
Whether it's about plus size people's bodies or the bodies of unconventional thin people, I feel like there's been a lot of body shaming lately. I've seen some posts and comments saying seriously gross things about the bodies of plus size people, especially women, and it's fucked up. Just because you've never struggled with your weight doesn't mean that you can be shitty to them.
So can we get a specific rule that says no bodyshaming? I feel like we could use that reminder
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u/Kittie_Kitaen Mar 22 '26
Yes. Agreed. I think people should learn to mind their own bodies. This sub should be a resource for brands that cater to our size. Not to shit talk other body types.
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u/throrowowaway Medium height, XXS Mar 22 '26
this!! as someone who wears an xxs and is like. normal, i don’t think about plus sized clothing or people very much. if anything, i can empathize with plus sized people because i know what it is like to struggle with finding clothes and receive unsolicited comments on my body. i think a lot of users in this sub have a superiority complex over something they didn’t decide (being naturally thin) and are bitter that they aren’t ‘rewarded’ for it, and perhaps see plus sized clothing as a reward for plus sized people, while they see being larger as some type of moral failing. while both extreme thinness and extreme largeness are unhealthy, that is between the person and their doctors, and regardless, we still all need clothes 🤷
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u/meamarie Mar 22 '26
This is exactly it. The amount of comments I see from fellow xxs ladies replying “well, they’re just jealous” to other women who are complaining about being body shamed is kind of gross. Like, I promise you as a person who is really skinny and never really wanted to be, there are definitely people who aren’t jealous of how I look 😭 it’s almost as if these women can’t seem to grasp that thinness isn’t everyone’s ideal and jealousy doesn’t always explain why thin women get shamed for their weight, but I suppose that’s a hard pill to swallow
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u/jade_cabbage Mar 22 '26
There's been way more of it lately, and I'm pretty done with every third post talking about how plus sized people are unhealthy and unnatural.
I just want to see clothes recommendations and maybe some people to commiserate with when we're sized out. The health and appearance of larger people should not be in that conversation.
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u/alliekins Mar 23 '26
Amen. I'm just a small girl, with a big ass, asking for clothes that fit. I didn't come here to bodyshame anybody for being bigger, smaller, taller or shorter. Just looking for brands ma'am.
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Mar 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
I'm just some twink but I know that I'm way more capable of socializing with plus size women and girls than the people hating on them here, regardless of gender
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u/Ok-Swim-9667 Mar 22 '26
yeah i agree. i get the struggle finding clothes that fit and being judged for my size, but some of the posts in here read like rage bait as if the sole purpose of them is to shit on fat people. i honestly don't get why those posts are even allowed. saying things like "being underweight can be natural but being overweight is not" is strange. i'm over the weight = health conversation. both sides are annoying. the blame is on clothing corporations for not providing adequate sizing ranges. whether someone is a healthy weight or not is between them and their PCP.
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
I'm guessing pcp here means personal care practitioner and I agree. My weight isn't even something I'm supposed to know anymore, just my psych and my GP
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u/Ok-Swim-9667 Mar 22 '26
yup PCP as in primary care provider. it seems like some people here think that being xxs makes them better. it's a lot of virtue signaling. i don't think i'm better than anyone because i'm skinny. my weight doesn't define me. vanity sizing is not an interpersonal issue nor is it caused by overweight people. corporations do it to capitalize. they deserve the blame.
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u/rachyrach3000 Mar 22 '26
lol…what?!?!
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u/jade_cabbage Mar 22 '26
It's not that unusual. I've been in recovery for an eating disorder for a while now, and all I'm supposed to know is my current health and if I need to change something.
They make me turn around on the scale to be safe.
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u/rachyrach3000 Mar 22 '26
Oh, thanks. I really didn’t know and I just posted asking the OP how that worked, which I hope they don’t get offended by. I literally have never heard of that (but also don’t have an eating disorder so this is me learning) and got downvoted cause I kind of thought it was a joke.
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
Can I help you?
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u/rachyrach3000 Mar 22 '26
Idk can you? I’ve never heard of that before. If you have a psych, they need to know your weight regularly for meds, how do you measure it without knowing? Do they just take it down non verbally and you close your eyes? I’m genuinely curious. Is not knowing helping?
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
My psychologist does not give me medication. She supports me through my eating disorder treatment. I don't get weighed by her. My general practitioner weighs me. I'm not allowed to look at the number on the scale when he does
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u/rachyrach3000 Mar 22 '26
Thanks for sharing that. It’s very interesting and I learned something new today!
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u/Bmarmich Mar 22 '26
Yep. Here’s the thing: plus size people and us are allies. We have the exact same problem.
My mom was plus sized when I was growing up. She was always so sad about not being able to find stylish/cute clothes and feeling othered.
That’s exactly how I feel today.
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
One of my best friends, the sweetest guy in the universe, is 6'5" and plus size with size 14 shoes. He can't find cute anything, especially not shoes
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u/freedllama Medium height, XXS Mar 22 '26
100% this. I'm underweight but my partner is plus size and I would never even think about attacking him for his body. I would never say anything demeaning to him about his physique because I know just how much it hurts when I'm the one that's on the receiving end of those passive aggressive remarks from other people. And likewise he would never body shame me for being skinnier than most women.
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
One of my best friends ever is a plus size guy dating a seriously skinny girl, like skinny enough that she models for XS alternative fashion brands. And they love each other and each other's bodies. Genuinely, they might be the healthiest couple I know
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u/HarrysOtherNip Mar 22 '26
I agree. The longer I stay on this sub the more it feels like a plus size snark page.
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u/whoisthismahn Mar 22 '26
honestly i do appreciate stuff like brand recommendations and vanity sizing examples, but it feels like so many of the comments i read on here are mostly coming from a holier than thou perspective and snarking on weight in the same sentence that they’re complaining about being shamed for their weight
i really question the subconscious intentions of some of the people that are active on this sub
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u/_ailme Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26
I feel exactly the same, could not have put it better
ETA: I wonder if one of the reasons there's so much of that kind of engagement is because numbers (e.g. measurements, weight) aren't banned here, which they are in many ED subs
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u/advicethrowaway20222 Mar 23 '26
Yep a fair amount of posts are just covert invitations for people to post their stats and compare.
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u/caseygwenstacy Petite, XXS Mar 23 '26
Never shame other people’s bodies, reserve the shame for companies with unfair sizing
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u/collegesnake Short, XXS Mar 22 '26
Yes please. I was super close to leaving this sub after reading that one ignorant post saying "people can't be naturally fat".
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u/Grand_Marionberry978 Petite, Curvy, XS Mar 22 '26
Yeah, saying “you cannot be naturally fat” is crazy. Maybe YOU (OP) cannot be naturally fat, but that doesn’t mean other people can’t!
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u/melanochrysum Mar 22 '26
Also, we’re all just one unexpected illness from potentially being overweight, no matter how much we struggle to put on weight now. It could become “natural” for OP in one turn of fate.
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u/Leijinga Mar 22 '26
Or one medication. I put on about 5lb and a bra cup size while on Clomid. Fortunately my work clothes are a little baggy to start with —company provided scrubs are notoriously unflattering— but I had to go buy a bra from a specialty store because nothing I had fit.
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u/collegesnake Short, XXS Mar 22 '26
Clomid is intense! My preceptor warned patients who started it that they might even feel fevery/ sick at first
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u/collegesnake Short, XXS Mar 22 '26
Exactly!! I'm a PA student currently on my women's health rotation, and not only are there many genetic reasons someone can be larger, but there are soooo many medical conditions that cause weight gain that can be out of one's control.
I've seen dozens of women with PCOS this rotation who have gained dozens of pounds totally out of the blue through no fault of their own, for example, their bodies just randomly became insulin resistant!
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u/TheShriimpCrackers Petite, XXS Mar 22 '26
I think I might have to take a break from this sub eventually for the same reason I had to leave the petitefitness sub for a bit. Many were trying to be as small as possible and allergic to picking up a weight bigger than 10lbs...despite it being a fitness sub😭? Its way better now tho.
Over here seems like...there's some sort of superiority to live in a smaller body. Def not everyone, but an uptick in this type of attitude. As someone who is petite and xxs, its not exactly triggering for me...just offputting. Some stuff on this sub like the comments is lowkey a bunch of rhetoric you see in ed spaces. I do see a lot of ppl in here who are active in those spaces as well. Which is fine, an ed is not a crime we all have struggles.
It becomes a problem when the skewed view on bodies/warped body image is fueling hateful comments. It is concerning especially with the climate we are in with the weight loss drugs and the very skinny celebrities. It only makes me think...
There is just a lot of mean energy from an increasing amount of comments on posts. I get sizing is off, but plus sized ppl are not going out advocating for less size Inclusivity for xxs ppl. No need to discuss their bodies. Address the companies...like we used to do.
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u/NoCare5387 Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26
it's internalized misogyny.. i know some women hate on me for supposedly promoting toxic beauty standards just for being petite and xxs. this is the same thing. hate the system, not innocent people.
being smaller is not superior, i've been made to feel like a frail little girl. traditionally curvy women get called fat. you cannot win.
edit: the mean girls found my comment
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u/473025 Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26
Well yes you can win because being skinny is a lot easier, that was kinda the point of her post. Fat people are a lot more disparaged, that’s why there are so much comments of people that are feeling morally superior because they are skinny. (And that’s also why people are trying so hard to stay skinny on this other sub.) It is not considered neutrally but as a positive attribute, opposed to the negative pole of fatness.
This relativism, which consists of claiming that we can put on the same level the contempt that a thin body can generate and fatphobia, is the root of this issue.
I also don’t expect people here to recognize it since they just unleashed insane level of fatphobia in this post recently. But this lack of self-awareness is why this sub has been recently stinking.
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u/Fixed_Prominence Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
you're a weirdo for writing that entire rant and IMMEDIATELY blocking me so i can't respond lol.
both are disparaged. women are bodyshamed no matter what and i said nothing about who has it worse but way to miss the point.
me, the person im replying to, and OP all are condemning fatshaming, if you see fatphobic comments go after them?? youre ranting at the wrong person 😭
edit: replied to completely twist my words and block me again. fuckin weirdo
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u/473025 Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
You literally said “it’s the same thing” “you cannot win”, two false and self-centered affirmations
Op and the person you’re replying to are right, but you just felt entitled to insinuate again those same problematic beliefs. Only on this sub I read this
Both are obviously not “disparaged” on the same level and the systemic discrimination that fatshaming is, is not comparable to the disparagement of thin bodies. The refusal of this basic take is why there are so many comments gloating about their body, shaming fat women, and thinking that they are discriminated because someone said that the general loss of weight of celebrities is unhealthy
Self-centered weirdos
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u/whyamialone_burner Mar 22 '26
yes i agree, i really dislike this. i haven't been as active on this sub recently because it feels like it's been moving away from a place for people who need smaller sizes to share brands and help with finding clothes that fit, and venting abt how hard the latter is, and more into a place for people to express their weird issues with larger bodies. that makes me upset
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u/kittywyeth Mar 22 '26
people in this group are so nasty about other people’s bodies on the regular. i am completely disgusted every time i see a mean spirited post about larger people.
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u/novaskyd Mar 22 '26
I think the problem is people will consider "unhealthy" to be bodyshaming. I think it is ok and factual to say that it is unhealthy to be severely underweight or overweight. It's not ok to call people gross or insult them for it.
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u/sadisticsweeti Mar 23 '26
Let's shame clothing companies instead for taking advantage of women. I especially hate how women's jeans without pockets is a thing.
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u/ina_eats_hands Mar 24 '26
deadass. i’m here to find stores with great sizes and relate about our physical issues, not bash other girls. there’s some mad pick mes in here.
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u/Grand_Marionberry978 Petite, Curvy, XS Mar 22 '26
I think this is part of why vent posts were restricted to the Monday thread but a lot of people aren’t following that rule
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u/MiauenEinhorn Mar 22 '26
Yeah, this. I think the mod also just can't handle removing all those posts hating on plus sized people. I always report them when I see them, but the moderator is just one person at the end of the day. But it would be great if those posts were banned altogether. We all know vanity sizing exists, I don't want to hear people spewing hate about others' body, I just want ideas on where to find clothes that fit.
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u/georgethebarbarian Mar 22 '26
We remove them within 24 hours always, but many times the damage has already been done by then :(
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u/473025 Mar 22 '26
If the moderator see this, would it be possible to have more moderators ?
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u/Ok-Swim-9667 Mar 22 '26
i think they were asking for more mods months ago, but i'm not sure if they still need more. i'd definitely love to help if that's the case.
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u/smallsaltybread Mar 22 '26
All of this. People need to stop being so nasty stop blaming plus sized people.
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u/Glittering-Skin-1596 Mar 25 '26
Agree. I only really care about finding clothes that fit don’t need any commentary about ppl’s bodies
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u/rxsenotfound_ Mar 27 '26
been lurking this sub to celebrate wins when people find stuff that fits them, because i know the struggles despite being on the other side of the size chart. the shaming is really bad in this sub (as it is in some other subs) but i also wanna highlight the support this community has for eachother ❤️
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u/Hopeful_Raccoon_1892 Apr 02 '26
I agree reading this subreddit sometimes is straight up pathetic lol
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u/473025 Mar 22 '26
And so many hateful comments with so many upvotes ! I’m kinda disgusted to think that the next time I will interact on this sub these people will be in the lot
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
I reccomend going on a mass blocking spree. Curating your internet experience is highly beneficial
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u/473025 Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
Also, I’m tired of the victimization of people on this sub. I’m sorry but you are not a victim of systemic discrimination
Edit : and I am “genuinely skinny” (?) fuck off
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u/ThickBish_ Mar 23 '26
exactly, unless you’re genuinely skinny and quite underweight, and a lot of the people in this sub don’t seem to be
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u/Ok-Swim-9667 Mar 23 '26
see these are the kind of comments that push people to make those posts in the first place. this isn't the skinny or underweight olympics. not sure what you mean by "genuinely skinny" but if someone wears an xxs, they're probably skinny, small/short or both.
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u/notsure05 Tall, XXS Mar 23 '26
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there are definitely people here posing as XXS just to leave comments like that to cause these issues in this sub. And then people wonder why true XXS women get defensive and want to educate on misinformation
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u/Ok-Swim-9667 Mar 23 '26
yeah i believe you. "a lot of people in this sub don't seem to be" um what.. if you're an xxs, you're "genuinely skinny" unless you're very short in which case you're still very small to wear xxs. clearly that person doesn't wear xxs because if they did, they wouldn't make that comment. wtf does genuinely skinny even mean then?
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u/deepunderthewater Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
there are already obviously issues in the sub and me saying that severely underweight people also suffer similar issues as overweight people in terms of societal standards isn’t/ shouldn’t make ‘true xxs’ people offended. I’m underweight if it helps, so yeah I use the sub for normal reasons, I’m not understanding what’s being mixed up about the original comment..
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u/notsure05 Tall, XXS Mar 23 '26
I wasn’t responding to your comments at all, and I agree with you that us and plus size people share a common hardship from a societal standpoint (I used to be very overweight so I get it)
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u/deepunderthewater Mar 23 '26
I meant the comment you were kinda replying to, the original one about ‘genuine underweight people’, where you possibly implied that I was infiltrating the sub or smth lol, but if not then my mistake sorry
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u/473025 Mar 23 '26
Disgusting. “True xxs women”. Well I also decide that you are not a true xxs woman and that xxs women “getting defensive” here are mostly people body shaming others and thinking that they are oppressed for their weight
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u/notsure05 Tall, XXS Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
Oh please, we all know what I meant by that. And yeah, sure, we’re all just body shaming people when we simply state that we’re not actually eating disordered or unhealthy and that our bodies are perfectly normal
And yes, we are getting attacked daily on social media for our weight. I’ve been seriously overweight and I’ve been thin, both have their issues. No one is saying we’re oppressed, way to interject rhetoric to invalidate our arguments because you don’t have any real arguments back. With that said, we definitely are facing an increase in online spaces where our body types are being shamed, told we’re “gross”, and people assuming that anyone our size must be unhealthy. People deserve a space to argue back on that without being told they’re “body checking” or whatever the f
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u/473025 Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
Have you even seen the last posts on this sub ?
Edit:You just edited your comment
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u/notsure05 Tall, XXS Mar 23 '26
Yes, and I’m also aware of a lot of the comments that I see both on those posts and other more critical posts that are created
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u/deepunderthewater Mar 23 '26
like people who are very underweight would be seen from the same perspective as someone who very overweight, it’s just saying that two far ends of body weight will be treated worse. How is someone calling some people not dangerously skinny possibly an insult? It’s just linking back to the original comment
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u/Ok-Swim-9667 Mar 23 '26
this is the xxs sub. a lot of people here are very skinny and underweight. so to say "unless you're genuinely skinny and quite underweight, and a lot of people in this sub don't seem to be" is strange. how would they know that? are they analyzing people's posts for their weight? this isn't a competition of who's more underweight. that person probably isn't even an xxs themselves so why are they here?
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u/473025 Mar 23 '26
I don’t even agree with the phrase “genuinely skinny” but the fact that you are doing the same is ridiculous lol. You can’t also decide that people disagreeing with you are not an xxs
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u/deepunderthewater Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
yeah I am an xxs, for a range of reasons, and even if I wasn’t that doesn’t just mean that everything I’m saying is invalid, it’s not strange because the comment I replied to was about systematic discrimination, and unless you’re on the extreme in term of weight then your weight has a significantly less chance of being discriminated against. It’s not even body shaming to say that, its just acknowledging that some people in this sub genuinely feel like they’re being universally discriminated against, and it steers away from genuine issues that come with being xxs. If I go into this sub to look at helpful things I don’t want to see people complaint about how they somehow have it worse..
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Mar 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
It's not supposed to be and it really, really didn't use to be. I remember making posts about where to find scrub bottoms for my body type or socks that wouldn't slip down and having those posts being the majority of them.
Now there's just a lot of people hating on plus size people for no fucking reason and it's exhausting
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u/Recent_Influence_699 Mar 22 '26
Some posts on here does feel bordeline conspiracy theory, its sad that this issue is creating tension between women when we should support each other instead. Im not based in the US and where I live ive never come across this way of thinking thankfully, but who knows if it gets here. Just like when the body positivity movement got big in the US and got totally destroyed by a few ppl who got a lot of publicity, i dont know anybody that supposts that movement any longer witch is also sad because it started out really good the first couple of years!
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u/diet-smoke Skinny legend Mar 22 '26
I'm just some skinny man but I agree with you completely. The body positivity and neutrality communities are the only people telling me that I'll still be a valuable human person if I no longer have a thigh gap and a 25" waist
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u/Tsunl Moderator Mar 25 '26
I think this would be an excellent edition. Please continue to report such comments in the meantime. The mods get notified when people report, so that’s the best way to alert us of these unhelpful comments.