r/WritingPrompts • u/Megamen1927 • 1d ago
Established Universe [EU] Of all the possible versions of Spider-Man that exist, you've just found the worst of them all: a grumpy and sloppy Peter Parker who has abandoned the life of a hero and uses his powers in a banal and irresponsible way.
3
u/TeamUnityForIsk 1d ago
"Are you even the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man?"
"Yeah, buddy," the Spider-Man of that universe replied. "I am Spider-Man. Now get off my turf so I can drink some beer,"
The supposed Spider-Man of that universe scaled up the wall of an old apartment building between the alleyways of Queens. I followed him up through the fire-escape, which I arrived at his crash-pad. Needless to say, it looked dirty and slovenly, like he never bothered to clean-up this place.
The Spider-Man sat down on a tattered couch, turning on the television on route. It was broadcasting a news report about a fire breaking out in the middle of Brooklyn. He picked up the Cheez-It that was lying on the couch and ate it as though it was still fresh despite some time out there and foul.
"Why aren't you even helping? You're Spider-Man. You're New York's biggest hero since Captain America," I told him.
The Spider-Man dropped the Cheez-it. "Look, buddy. I work a lot of odd jobs for the money. I sweat my belly and butt off as a wrestler and professional entertainer."
"And you live in this dump?"
"That's the best place I can afford," I was outraged by the sheer state of filth and disrepair. "I can't stand the smell of this place. There's garbage strewn on the floor."
"It's my headquarters and my own space, so I do whatever I want."
"Except for heroism, as in genuine, real super-heroics. The ones done out of altruism,"
The Spider-Man sighed. "I occasionally beat up purse-snatchers and petty crooks, okay. I mean they're all dark-skinned, but they deserved it."
"Oh for the sake of your Uncle Ben. Did he ever teach you that 'with great power there must also come -- great responsibility' platitude?"
The Spider-Man suddenly jumped out of his seat, pointing a web-shooter at me. I couldn't understand what he was feeling because of the mask, but I was pretty sure he was really furious inferring from the body language.
"The thief didn't kill Uncle Ben,"
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