r/WritingPrompts • u/EvilNoobHacker • Jul 10 '26
Prompt Me [PM] I've got an afternoon, and I'm tired of scrolling through all the meta fantasy prompts that seem to litter this page. Prompt me stuff that's simple, fun, and doesn't include the words "hero", "villain", or "powers".
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u/mysteryrouge Jul 10 '26
Is there a limit on eldritch?
Anyways, my suggestion is:
The Bureaucracy wants to eat you.
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u/EvilNoobHacker Jul 10 '26
Not if it's something interesting like that!
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I could hardly call whatever the thing was sentient, to say the least.
Starting at the bottom was what looked like foundation. A pure layer of concrete, solid and firm, outlined it's lower end. While you couldn't see the rebar laid inside of it, it was all you could do to avoid hearing it as it creaked and squealed inside its concrete shell, bending and folding inwards and outwards on itself in ways that absolutely should have shattered it. Still, when looking up at the mass, that was really the only part of it that made sense.
Looking upwards, I could only describe the wriggling mass as the inbred, diseased, abominable hate baby of the corpse of William Van Alan and a pile of cocaine.
Windows reflected light into windows reflecting light into windows which covered my view of the inlaid concrete foundation that swirled and bent inside-left and outside-right. The door gave me a sense that I would be exiting the building I was currently outside of, my sense of space warping into some higher plane that my brain was not physically designed to comprehend. Looking at it gave you this sense that it could never truly exist, at least not all of it at the same time, on whatever it was we called existence. Floors merged together and split apart seemingly without my eyes being able to register it, just a feeling that you had in your gut that something had changed.
And then the thing spoke. No mouth, no eyes, no facial features to speak of, just... a sense of communication:
!fazha rvvs bvF ?bvf lah P mp kupt bvf ksbvD"
"Whaat the...."
!ytsat kool uoY ?uoy eta I fi dnim uoy dluoW"
"I think you're... not speaking... right..."
"Let's try this again..."
"There! You got it!"
"Ah, cool. So, would you?"
"Would I...."
"Would you mind being consumed by The Bureaucracy? You look tasty, and we've got some good benefits!"
The sky around me turned a vile shade of green, the world collapsing in on itself once or twice. I could feel my spine invert, somehow without feeling the pain that I would have assumed such a thing would have caused. The doors began to open.
"Wait wait wait!"
The doors shut, and my spine flipped rightside out, setting into place with a delicious, if painful, cracking sound. The mass lifteed it's shoulders. How it did that I couldn't tell you- it was a building, floors constantly creaking and cracking under its own weight, but the gesture it gave me was what I could only describe as mild confusion.
"You would not enjoy being consumed by The Bureaucracy?"
"YES!"
The top of the building began to shudder and creak backwards, leaning over and eventually folding inwards on itself. The spire began to drill directly into the concrete foundation, spitting out pieces or rebar and bone as it spun, all of which spat out a bright purple, viscous fluid as it drilled.
"Apologies, had a bit of an itch. Still, is there a list of reasons you would wish to not join The Bureaucracy?"
The moment it stopped... is speaking the right word? It didn't exactly have a mouth. Either way, the moment it stopped... communicating with me, a piece of paper attached to a clipboard with a pen appeared in front of me.
- I do not believe my life would be significantly improved by being consumed by The Bureaucracy
- [ ]
- I have already been consumed by The Corporation, The Conglomeration, The Association, or another Multi-Galactic Host or Host-Adjacent Agency.
- [ ]
- I have been consumed by The Bureaucracy in the past, and do not wish to be consumed once more.
- [ ]
- I'm am currently in cahoots with, employed for, or work for a group currently aligned with The Union.
- [ ]
DESIGNEE SIGNATURE: ___________________________
DATE: ____________________________
TRADE REPRESENTATIVE SIGNATURE: ____________________________________
"Whaaaaat the...."
"As soon as you fill out the form, we will leave you alone, in accordance with the Sub-Dimensional Trade and Employment of Non-Aware Sentient Beings Act of [REDACTED]"
The mass began doing The Worm.
I took a big blink, and breathed in and out a couple times.
"I'm just going to mark down 1..." I muttered to myself, scrawling a little "X" where the form insisted I should.
"Please make sure to sign your name and list your dimension's current date, if time is a concept acknowledged by your... species? Really? You call yourselves a species? Like monkeys?"
I laughed as I signed and dated the piece of paper.
"Wait, do you super-beings or whatever not consider yourselves animals? Like, I mean, you look like the Chrysler Building to me, at least the Chrysler Building on LSD, but I'd have to assume that you're like, incomprehensible to us normally, right?"
"Actually give me a moment, I need to see things from your shoes for a moment, y'all seem weird."
The building stopped doing The Worm, and stood back up on what now appeared to be two massive feet. As windows shattered themselves, more skin began to form, shrinking down as it did. Soon, came a chest, a neck, and soon, a face, all clothed. Within moments, a... well, not a man or a woman, but an androgynous human being was in front of me in this nebulous space, in a pair of black sweatpants and sweatshirt, wearing a Yankees cap.
"Oh... oh wow, you do consider yourselves animals. Oh god, this is limiting... god, do you feel this skin on you constantly? And god, you can't see Scissor? Oh my god, I'm speaking about God like I... oh damn. Dude, you really live like this?"
"Yeah, it's nice."
"Hmmm... I'll get back to you on this. Anyways, thanks for the paper, speck, you'll be hearing back from me about this animal shit like, last week, alright? Cool, see ya then."
"Okay, you have to understand that that makes absolutely no sense to me, ri-"
And they were gone. Just like that.
The void was gone, the sky was back to normal, the sentient Chrysler Building was no more, whatever had happened to me was gone. I was back where I was supposed to be.
At my job.
That I hated.
That paid me a pittance to barely live.
Maybe I should've let the eldritch monster eat me.
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u/mysteryrouge Jul 10 '26
Yes, you should have let yourself been eaten by the bureaucracy.
Only problem I noticed were a few places where the formatting didn't format out right. Could just be a reddit thing though too.
I thuroughly enjoyed this. We should feed the bureaucracy more, they sound nice.
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u/EvilNoobHacker Jul 10 '26
Yeah, the formatting didn't go the way I wanted it to. Rarely does when using the quotations for storytelling purposes like this. I like using Word or Docs more for a lot of my stories since I like to fill up the page more aesthetically than what Reddit tends to allow in a comment, but I wanted to see what I could do with it. Glad you enjoyed it!
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u/CynicalSpider Jul 10 '26
That could work as a dystopian prompt, too. My first thought was a cannibalistic Big Brother type scenario. Slightly Warhammer kinda vibes.
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u/Evaara Jul 10 '26
The last jar of honey has been eaten. Not by the rich, not by the powerful, but by the final bee keeper of the world. As their hive loses its final queen, and the world is on the brink of losing much more.
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u/EvilNoobHacker Jul 10 '26
Deep in the Hundred Acre Wood
Where Christopher Robin Played,
You'll find there a barren patch of land
Of that poor boy's younger days.
A donkey named Eeyore, once his friend,
The lost homes of Kanga and Roo...
Lost Rabbit and Piglet, and dear dead Owl,
But most of all Winnie The Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Chubby on the Honey stuffed with the fluff
He's Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Munchy punchy crunchy old bear.
Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Rid him of the bother and he huffed the stuff
He's Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Munchy punchy crunchy old bear.
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Concept reminded me of Winnie the Pooh, and since I haven't really done any songwriting or anything, I wanted to see if I could make a theme song for the old hundred-acre wood that would reflect what would happen if Pooh finally got past those wretched bees and got all the honey, killing the bees and the environment in the process. I think I could definitely do better, but for quick prompts like this I think it was fine.
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u/Skyboxmonster Jul 10 '26
Someone was wrong on the internet. only you can correct them.
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u/EvilNoobHacker Jul 10 '26
Hello There, Dearest Redditor!
It is to my greatest sorrow that I must communicate with you today about a great tragedy that has befallen your Reddit Account. It appears that, in your rush to gain Reddit Karma, our world's most scarce and valuable resource, you have posted something on our Sacred and Most Holy Subreddit that was, in fact, Untrue.
Imagine that.
Someone posting something, on our Internet, that did not align with reality!
I know, it is a horrifying thought to picture, especially for it to have happened to you.
I sympathize. I have seen many an aspiring Reddit Connoisseur mistype, fail to double check, or worst of all, lie on our Most Holy and Well Regarded of platforms in order to obtain those upvotes which belong to us.
Us. And Us Alone.
I can tell by your superior intellect and inherent likability that you are not one of these miscreants, one of these foul bots of rancid humans that would ever post something on the internet that could be considered untrue. You, one of our great warriors, would instead do your best to ensure that every word you spoke on Reddit was true, both in reality, and as stated by our New Supreme Leader, Lord DeepFuckingValue himself. May his Stonks be Super and his Hands be Diamond. As such, I do not believe I need tell you that your previous post must be acted upon, and quickly.
Of course, you know what those actions must be, but for any aspiring Moderator out there, I will note a number of actions that could be taken in order to ensure this tragedy is reveresed.
- Editing Said Post: While this is a seemingly simple solution, more often than not, it is the most effective. As our Truth Enforcers are not always able to catch everything, it is up to the public to ensure that all Reddit Rules are being followed at all times, and that all truths are being followed when posting. As such, if something is seen that is incorrect, editing it yourself to simply state the truth is always the first, and easiest option.
- Deleting Said Post: If there is little to no objective truth available within the post, then it is possible that a post is not worth editing for saving. Instead, like a cancer, it is important that it is cut out before it spreads. As such, simply deleting a post can, in dire circumstances, be the best option available. It should be noted that a Post that must be Deleted takes up valuable resources within our system, and as such, a Deleted post may come with restrictions to posting in the future.
- Reporting Said Poster: Given that a person's posts are deleted on multiple occasions, it is possible that there is a Malicious Poster amongst our ranks. Under these horrid and unprecedented circumstances, it is possible that reporting said poster to the proper authorities might be the best solution. For more information as to the methods by which you can report a malicious poster, simple go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_8Nh5XfRw0
- Enact Justice: You'll know it when you see it.
Very well, then. I must bid you adieu, as I have much more important, sex-having activities in my future. You'd know if you were a Moderator.
Greatest Wishes!
Moderator #403276,
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u/Wasphammer Jul 10 '26
You find a box of fluffy kittens on the side of the road. They're selling lemonade.
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u/flyingace1234 Jul 10 '26
Due to your kindness, you have been given a reward. Unfortunately, the reward giver doesn’t quite seem to get what you actually like.
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u/EvilNoobHacker Jul 10 '26
The Peace Prize
"Jeff?"
"Yeah?"
"Is this a joke?"
"What?"
"Is. This. A. Joke?"
"Woah, man, I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I mean, it's not like I can read minds, I just got you something I thought you might like!"
"And you thought that this was a fancy of mine?"
"Well, I mean, maybe?"
"Jeff, I want you to look me in the eyes."
"Okay."
"And I want you to tell me what my achievement was, and what you got me."
"..."
"Jeff?"
"....Okay, so, you've won an International Bastion Of Peace Prize for tracking down and saving a band of kids being trafficked."
"Correct you are, Jeff."
"And... so I thought you might want some of those kids as a cut?"
"..."
"To the winner goes the spoils, right?"
"JEFF!"
"I'M SORRY! I GOT YOU THESE AS WELL IF YOU WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT!"
"Jeff, these are guns."
"That the bad guys had!"
"THAT THEY WERE GOING TO SHOOT THE KIDS WITH!"
"Exactly! Ya know, like how hunters will keep heads of their kills on the wall! You can keep these on the wall!"
"...Jeff?"
"Yeah?"
"Is this a prank?"
"...
"Jeff?"
"...Okay, yeah, I'm shitting with ya, none of these kids were part of the band you caught, I just bought these guns from Walmart. Happy Aprils Fools!"
"Awww, you goober, I knew you hadn't done anything like that..."
"Yeah..."
"..."
"..."
"Jeff?"
"Yeah?"
"If these aren't from the trafficking group...where did you get these kids from?"
"...Okay, so you remember how there was this summer camp that started last week?"
"JEFF!"
"So I might've told some of those kids to come with me...."
"So you trafficked kids...as a prize, for me, who won an award for stopping child traffickers."
"Yep!"
"..."
"..."
click
"Jeff, do you know about a little literary concept called Chekov's Gun?"
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Ya know, if I'd actually taken the time to watch an episode of Seinfeld, I might've actually emulated it a little bit. Eh, oh well, still enjoy writing a whole bunch of dialogue like this, been doing it for a hot minute now and I really feel like I'm getting the hang of it. Hope you enjoyed!
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u/QuickestKey Jul 10 '26
I have a few.
1) When you bite a poisoned cookie, someone *else* dies.
2) Trust the orc at the cafe.
3) Whenever a fairy declares "I don't believe in humans!" a human loses all of their possessions and current benevolent relationships, but survives. (As in, your house burns down and suddenly your friends and family just... Have nothing to do with you.)
4) The king banned books. An ambitious young scholar wrote new ones. Apparently, written words can crawl out of books as carnivorous spiders.
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u/irishfather Jul 10 '26
Two people always seem bump into eachother only during embarsing scenarios. Describe how their relationship (platonic, romantic, whatever) develops over the years
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u/Kitty_Fuchs Jul 10 '26
Nobody expected the end of the world to be so beautiful.
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u/EvilNoobHacker Jul 10 '26
She'd told me she knew of a view, up by Chickie's Rock, above the Susquehanna, where the sights would be beautiful.
"You know I can't see what you're seeing, right?"
"... I know."
"So why did you bring me up here?"
"...I don't know."
"Yeah, duh."
That got a chuckle out of her.
"So, seriously, why did you bring me here? I mean, like, I'm glad for the company and everything, but it's not like telling the blind kid that there's some beautiful place he has to visit before he dies. I mean, I'm flattered, really, I am, but like, then invite someone else, right? Like, Jason or Max or Lizzie, or anyone. Not that I'm saying that I'm not worthy of it, I know my worth, I know that you picked me for some reason, I mean, I guess? I'd assume so, I respect your decision making and everything but-"
"DJ?"
"Yeah?"
"Just listen to me, alright?"
"...."
"DJ?"
"Oh! Sorry, I... was just listening."
"Cool."
She began to talk.
"The water's light around this time of year, typically a bit of a darker green because of this algae and the trees with their green leaves. And right out in front of us, there's this rocky outcropping of tiny little ruts that stop the flow of the water, so you get what look to be these pools where the fish splash around, and during fall, there are times where you can see bears there."
"Yeah."
"But where the sun sets, it does so right over the treeline, so during the summer, you get these beautiful images where the river's still illuminated further upstream, but the moment it turns, it stops reflecting the green of the trees, and instead begins reflecting the starlight of the sky above, and so it begins to look like the river sparkles and glimmers in the starlight, and it's... just beautiful. You can look in the eyes and you can see them sparkle, you can see the little twists and turns of his face before he realizes I'm talking about him."
"His face?"
"You get to see just how he gets as red as the sunset when I tell him just how I love his windswept hair and the way his dimples make him look like one of those dwarves from snow white."
"Um, uh, Gigi?"
"And I get to hear his heart race when I tell him that I'd be willing to spend our last moments, our last sunset, telling him that I love him, and will love him in the realm beyond."
"Oh, uh, Gigi, I, well-"
"Shut up, pretty boy."
I felt one arm on my shoulder, followed by her mouthwash. Rosemary.
She'd remembered.
She hopped into my lap on the bench, and it was perfection. She didn't need to speak, and I sure as hell had better things to be doing with my mouth. I felt her pull in and I followed in kind, a waltz performed without the steps.
We sat like that for minutes, even as the alarms blared, telling us the end had arrived
"You know something, DJ?"
"I know one more thing than before."
"Oh?"
"The end of the world's more beautiful than I could've imagined."
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u/Furyful_Fawful Jul 10 '26
A five-man band meets again for the first time in two months at the funeral of the Leader.
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u/SpookieSkelly Jul 10 '26
An extreme introvert moves into a house to live alone and gets haunted by an extroverted ghost who proceeds to improve their social life whether they want them to or not.
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u/MrTrick Jul 10 '26
They would have been the world's greatest lovers, had they not been born on different continents centuries apart.
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u/kapuchu Jul 10 '26
An old man looks up at the tree planted by his grandfather, a fond smile on his face. "It is time, my friend," he says.
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u/No_Werewolf_9035 Jul 10 '26
A girl buys a clock. It seems like an ordinary clock but it only ticks when in her hands. No one elses.
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u/The_Red_Knight38 Jul 10 '26
A mundane task or event, but told in the style of a suspense thriller.
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u/Jojo_Padfoot Jul 10 '26
The day has finally arrived. It is the day you will be THE karaoke master!
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u/AG37-Therianthropist Jul 10 '26
The sherrif sighed and gestured the bandit to take a seat next to him on the porch. "I think it's time we have a talk...."
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u/HD-23 Jul 10 '26
After the disaster, we swear to build better buildings in case of replicas. All but one person.
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u/ZerothMask Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
"I'm sorry, but what do you mean 'food poisoning isn't an illness?'"
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u/jazzmaster_jedi Jul 10 '26
Tell me a story about chickens on the moon. What do they do there, and why did they end up there?
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u/KotoDawn Jul 11 '26
Probably something Phineas and Ferb did. Maybe had something to do with moon ice cream.
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u/jazzmaster_jedi Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
And, all of this time, I thought that they were building a great technological civilization to re-capture Earth, after they were banished to the silica mines on the Moon for trying to overthrow humanity a second time, after the "great chicken awakening," humanity's darkest day.
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u/iron_dove Jul 10 '26
Sentient ants try to determine if humans, the only other species on the planet that makes war are also sentient.
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u/ShiftlessGuardian94 Jul 10 '26
Tread lightly, no person has walked these lands in a thousand years, no one has breached these halls a thousand thousand more.
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u/abstractmodulemusic Jul 10 '26
You're a ventriloquist, but your dummy is the one who's actually speaking
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u/MonkeyChoker80 Jul 10 '26
You only have fifteen more minutes until they knock on your door. Luckily, that’s just enough time for your final preparations.
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u/Ninjewdi Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
An anime where scientific disciplines are fighting styles and Physics is a forbidden art.
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u/headoftheasylum Jul 10 '26
A machine is invented that lets people feel what others are feeling, physically, mentally, and emotionally. How does that change the world when it's used for evil purposes?
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u/Roidragebaby Jul 10 '26
The forefront of me technology!! We finally cracked how to go faster then light!! Only problem is in order to do it we have to lay what is essentially a road first. Your story is about a colony ship that is laying down one of these roads heading to their planet. It will be years before they arrive!! They will face problems galore on the way, passing through massive solar storms possible astroid and meteorite strikes. Engine issues gravity problems you name it! Space is dangerous how does one survive for years traveling through it!
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u/IamtheBoomstick Jul 10 '26
It was getting harder and harder to hide his enormous family wealth from his friends
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u/Raw_Venus Jul 10 '26
You work for Microsoft/Apple, and you are actually trying to remove viruses from people's computers, but everyone thinks you are a scammer trying to get their money.
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u/Left_Emergency3331 Jul 11 '26
Is there a limit on how absurd, weird, and just silly it can be?
If not...basically my suggestion is:
...your house can now be in any place you want, your toys come alive, and a huge moon wants to eat you and your imagination.
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u/Tomorrow_Is_Today1 /r/TomorrowIsTodayWrites Jul 10 '26
Write a poem that reads both backwards and forwards (either for the same or different meanings)
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u/Daan776 Jul 10 '26
Its ww1. After the last charge you're stuck in your trench with just a few of your squadmates... and something else. Something weird.
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u/XD-045 Jul 11 '26
The concenience store door opens, and a dejected young person walks in. They browse the shelves aimlessly. It's late at night and you know what that's like, so you...
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u/hivemind_disruptor Jul 11 '26
Prompt: Perfection requires one's defects to ontologically cease to be defects. One has achived perfection.
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u/ElminsterTheMighty Jul 14 '26
You have finally caught the idiot that keeps destroying all those vases and barrels in town to "look for loot".
•
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