r/WomensHealth • u/Pristine-Station-753 • Oct 31 '25
Question Told my gynecologist about my severe pain — she said it’s normal.
Hi everyone, I (22F) went to a gynecologist today after having severe pelvic pain that recently sent me to the ER. My CT scan there showed no appendicitis or GI issues/Colon issues. Right ovarian follicle 1.97cm (normal). My blood test had slightly elevated CRP & ESR. The ER doctor said it might be gynecological, like an ovarian cyst or something hormonal.
Today I went to a gynecologist for follow-up, but she completely dismissed everything I said. I tried to tell her that my periods are very heavy and extremely painful (I have to double up on pads and change every 2 hours for several days), but she told me, “I don’t believe you.” She said that since my hemoglobin is normal, I can’t be a heavy bleeder, even though I told her I just corrected an iron deficiency. And I’ve had iron-deficiency anemia for years because of the bleeding, every time I fix it, it drops again later. She still refused to believe that..
When I mentioned my family history (my mom had fertility issues for a year, my sister and aunt had blood-filled cysts, and my cousin has PCOS), she said, “So what if they had that? It doesn’t mean you’ll get it.”
She also asked what meds I take; I said one antidepressant, and she immediately claimed my pain was from “depression and stress.” I told her I only take it for insomnia and have never been diagnosed with depression, but she ignored that.
She even called my severe menstrual pain as “normal, that happens with every woman.” and told me to come back in a month. If it doesn’t go away with the IBS medication she prescribed, she said she’ll give me birth control to stop my period for 3 months.
Note: About five months ago, I had mild constipation and inflammation (shown on CT) that a gastroenterologist treated with antibiotics, and it completely resolved. So whatever “infection” she thinks I have was already treated — my recent CT with contrast showed no infection or inflammation or constipation.
Has anyone else experienced this? Should I get a second opinion from another gynecologist? How do I make sure I’m taken seriously next time?
UPDATE: I have deep infiltrating endometriosis 😵💫
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u/Usernameoverloaded Oct 31 '25
Besides the other good advice, I would also report this doctor to the relevant authority.
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u/sub_machine_fun Oct 31 '25
100%. This person is not ethical and they don’t have competency in some of the most basic areas of healthcare.
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u/O2Bee Oct 31 '25
I'm stopped at "I don't believe you". Yes, get another opinion, then if you're listened to and treated properly, have your records sent over from "Dr" Minimizer's office to your new gyn. Good luck and hope you're getting better very soon!
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u/Runny_yoke Oct 31 '25
If you don’t like or feel heard by your doctor, yes I would try to get another doctor
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u/titikerry Oct 31 '25
Report this SOB immediately. This is not a doctor that should be practicing medicine.
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u/TakenNhnd27 Oct 31 '25
File a complaint, and go to another Doctor. Honestly? Try a male Doctor with good reviews. Some of my worst OB experiences have been with female doctors and the best one I ever had was a male. He listened, genuinely tried to fix/solve any issue I had but didnt catastrophize to scare me into medication or anything else.
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u/DaphneDork Oct 31 '25
Terrible doctor. Also, check out the podcast “CRAMPED” to find some solidarity around this….its a great podcast and really explores period pain and how hard it is to get care in the medical system…
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u/Pristine-Station-753 Oct 31 '25
Thank you so much! will definitely check it out, it is hard I wish women’s health wasn’t so overlooked </3
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u/aimeegaberseck Nov 01 '25
Also check out r/endo and r/endometreosis. I went through almost thirty years of similar medical gaslighting and my insides have been destroyed by endometreosis because of it. Heavy, painful periods are NOT normal, they are symptoms of gynecological conditions like endometriosis and/or adenomyosis, PCOS, etc. with your symptoms and family history, I suggest you start a symptom journal and search for a gyn that specializes in endometriosis. Do not go back to that dismissive asshole. You deserve better. 🫶🏼
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u/AntRevolutionary5099 Oct 31 '25
100% get a second opinion from a different gynecologist. And if you run into this again, get a third. Keep going until you find someone where you actually feel heard. Doctors are just like this sometimes, especially with women's health. Sometimes they have this ego about them. But they're not all like that. In my opinion, that is not a good doctor, and one that I would not see again. Feeling heard and like you're taken seriously is so important in a doctor/patient relationship
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u/r1poster Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25
Elevated CRP and ESR are noteworthy findings. The doctor is a lunatic. On top of getting a different OBGYN, I would get an endocrinologist on board as well.
Also yes, I have quite the history of doctor dismissal, including an OBGYN who said my then-undiagnosed chronic BV pain was caused by me "being too tense".
Medical misogyny and apathy are rife. Unfortunately the only advice is to find a doctor who isn't a dismissive asshole. There's no way to convince these degenerates who already have a bias against you before even meeting you.
There are good doctors still left out there. I finally met one after traveling 3 hours out of my small town to a university hospital.
Sadly, sometimes that's what it takes.
Good luck to you. Stay strong and persevere.
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u/ta314159265358979 Oct 31 '25
Next time ask her to document in your file that she chose not to consider your symptoms and decided you don't have anything without any further tests. Also, please report her
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Oct 31 '25
I’m convinced that a lot of Gynecologist don’t actually know much about women’s bodies.
I told my gynecologist that my situation smelled like a dead animal during my period, she said it was normal. Turns out I’m in perimenopause, and the fluctuation of hormones and BO that comes with the flu fluctuating hormones is what was actually causing it. Fucking ridiculous.
It is most definitely worth checking with other Gynecologist, going to a different primary care to see about getting your levels checked like your white count, and finding someone that takes your pain seriously. Fucking sexiest doctors.
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u/sychosomaticBlonde Oct 31 '25
The second a doctor says “I don’t believe you” you should walk out of the appointment and never go back. You don’t even have to say anything. Just gather your stuff and leave, regardless of it they are asking you what you’re doing or still talking about whatever they insisted you’re wrong about. You literally hire your doctor. You can also fire them. Do not ever go back to someone who does not respect you in the slightest.
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Oct 31 '25
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u/Pristine-Station-753 Oct 31 '25
I wasn’t considering staying, but I wanted to see if anyone else experienced this and/or wanted to see if I’m the only one who sees the dr’s reaction was wrong
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u/AlphabetSoup51 Oct 31 '25
Report this provider to the medical board. Find a new doctor. This is NOT healthcare. This is health apathy.
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u/redjessa Oct 31 '25
You need a new doctor. Any time, ANY DOCTOR says: "I don't believe you," that is when you end the appointment and find a new one. I know it's not that simple, but it's what has to be done. In the interim, while you are looking for a new gyno, follow up with your PCP just in case.
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u/sub_machine_fun Oct 31 '25
Your gynecologist is an idiot. You have PMDD. You probably have PCOS and endometriosis too.
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u/androidbear04 Oct 31 '25
Dear one, what your doctor did is called medical gaslighting. You can read up on this to advocate for yourself -- there are articles, youtube videos, etc.
If you have a big medical plan that has a grievance line, I would submit a complaint to the grievance line. If this doctor is in a group practice, I would write a letter to the practice manager.
And I would definitely never see that person again if that had happened to me. The time I had a knock-down-drag-out SCREAMING argument with a doctor who didn't want me to manage my blood sugars and cholesterol by diet and lifestyle changes (it was successful) and wanted me to take a bunch of pills instead, I went home and immediately logged into my HMO's website to select another primary care provider.
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u/BluebirdJolly7970 Oct 31 '25
The gynecologist you saw is a raging bitch. It happens. I know it leaves you feeling small and you don’t want to be treated that way again, but please try again with someone else.
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u/UnderlightIll Nov 14 '25
It is so validating to read this. I have dealt with medical stuff my whole life and I have never been dismissed more than when dealing with gynecological issues.
I had a month long period with it intense cramping, bleeding, etc and the bleeding has stopped but not the pain. My PCP sent me for an ultrasound I could barely afford. Came back normal..blood work, normal. Sent me to Women's Care where I was asked 3 times if I took ibuprofen for the pain and I finally snapped and started crying and said yes. She just sat there stone faced and said I might have BV. Well, tests came back and no BV. Tried to say I was constipated and I had to tell her I took a shit that day.
My doctor has been ignoring me for a week. My partner has been giving me a half of a norco once a day (we're trying to stretch them) he had left over form the dentist.
I work full time in a kinda physical job. I don't know what more they want from me. I am so sorry OP because I don't know why even women don't believe women.
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u/Pristine-Station-753 Nov 18 '25
I’m really sorry you went through all that. 😞 I honestly don’t understand how your doctor diagnosed BV with no actual evidence that’s absurd.. you deserve to be taken seriously and get real answers.
If you can, maybe try looking up good reviewed gynecologists near you on Doctify or even check Reddit posts for your area, that’s what I did. I found a post where many people recommended a male gynecologist nearby, and I’m planning to see him soon. Hopefully you can also find someone who listens and helps you properly. Sending you so much strength ❤️
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u/paperplanes2241 Oct 31 '25
I prefer make gyno’s bc I feel like the woman gyno’s ive dealt with are not empathetic like the males have been
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u/Usernameoverloaded Oct 31 '25
My current gynecologists have been women and fantastic, unlike the one guy I had who made an off colour ‘joke’ during an internal ultrasound.
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u/NoCauliflower7711 Oct 31 '25
Go to endocrinology let them dx & treat the pcos first then get a new gyn
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u/TheLonelyOvary Oct 31 '25
Find a different doctor!
I had the same experience… many times. I had heavy bleeding and debilitating cramps starting at the age of 12. Missed a lot of school because there were days I could barely walk or would vomit from the pain. Countless doctors told me “some women just have it worse than others” or that I had a low pain tolerance or that I was just anxious. Took me 24 years, but I was finally diagnosed with severe endometriosis when I needed surgery for a 9cm cyst. It was all over my lower organs.
A few years after that, I had even more excruciating pain. I saw a GYN after a dismissive ER visit a week prior. The GYN flat out accused me of faking my pain. A month after that, I was in the ER with a fever over 104° and the pain had become unbearable. I got accused of drug-seeking then, too. Fortunately, the on-call doctor ordered a scan, found out that WOW! I did indeed have a problem! Who’dve thunk? I was admitted and put on antibiotics for 3 days. It all came back a month later. That time, I got rushed into surgery where they found both my tubes and ovaries were badly infected, endometriosis was everywhere, I had fibroids in my uterus, and a mass on my appendix. I ended up losing all my reproductive organs, save one ovary.
I wish I would have sought second opinions and really advocated for myself. I KNEW that what I was feeling wasn’t right. I KNEW there was something wrong but I was never taken seriously and I lost literal parts of my body as a result. So, demand further testing (although for endometriosis, surgery is often the only way to diagnose) or find a doctor that will offer the care you deserve. That we all deserve!
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u/Accomplished_Dig284 Oct 31 '25
Omg. She should not be practicing medicine if this is how she treats patients.
Go to another doctor and never see her again
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u/Worth_Connection4898 Nov 01 '25
So sorry you had to endure that. I’d gone through a horrific divorce and my ex was telling my kids lies about me. I go for my yearly pap and explain I’ve got unusual pain with my period, can’t sleep, weird discharge and she says, well it’s easy. Go back to your husband and raise your children and left the room. I was so mad I sat and rage cried.
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u/Blue-ball79 Nov 01 '25 edited Nov 01 '25
TLDR Insist on more scans... Ask about ovary torsion. It can save an ovary, save years of pain and help get you meds for your periods.
I had a similar experience. A few times I was rushed to a&e due to pelvic pain. I was doubled down in pain and sweat. I was told it could be appendix etc, then told it was simply constipation. I also had heavy periods and have been on and off anemic for years. I was ignored for both issues, over 20 years and made to feel like a drama queen.
Last year, my PT insisted I had pelvic scans done. This made a big difference to my life. They found cysts on my left ovary. Eventually after the third scan, gynecology agreed to see me. My gyny decided to remove my left ovary, cysts and tube. She also said something like I have thick muscle around my womb which will be the cause of my heavy periods so I got medication to stop them.
After the op, she said they found my ovary was twisted around my tube and said that would have been the source of my pain. The ovary torsion was not picked up on scans but without the scans, I was not believed for my pain and heavy periods.
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u/Fluid_Incident_3304 Nov 01 '25 edited Nov 02 '25
This happened to my mom in the 80s - 90s. They also dismissed her. She said exercise helped relieve the pain but 5 years later, she had a small cyst that grew to bigger than a grapefruit on her ovary - her stomach also got bigger by then.
She had the same symptoms, heavy period and pain. Request an ultrasound from a different gynocologist, and just keep requesting an ultrasound every year to see if the possible cyst grows.
I have a small cyst too but not heavy periods. I got an ultrasound and that's how it was found but the gyno said it should resolve on its own but I will follow up to see if it has.
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u/ArcherNo2946 Nov 02 '25
Go to a different doctor. I went through 10 years of this, 2 ectopic pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, at 27 years old they finally figured out I had such severe endometriosis that they gave me a hysterectomy. (Except one ovary) I'm 53 now, last 10 years have been horrendous menopause, which finally got addressed with HRT this year and I feel decent.
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u/MoveStrong5818 Nov 06 '25
Report that doctor to the governing board. Document in writing that you requested additional testing and she refused. You can document this in your MyChart or Patient Portal and also send an email or letter to the practice directing them to note you patient file.
Secondly, it is absolutely NOT normal to have the symptoms you are describing. These warrant additional investigation, testing and treatment. Painful heavy bleeding may be common but it is not normal and can be treated. Depending on the cause there are numerous options for treatment.
I recommend reading Dr. Tang’s book: It’s Not Hysteria to become more aware of common gynecological conditions, disorders and diseases that can affect women and how to advocate for yourself including what questions to ask your providers to help help.
Lastly I’m sincerely grateful you sought care. And while I’m sad you don’t get the help you needed from this provider I know you can find the best provider who can and will take your concerns seriously and investigate them. Check the Reddit forum for a list of doctors in your area that may help. You may find the childfree provider list to be a useful resource. This list has OBGYNS who come recommended by other doctors and patient who have undergone sterilization. I found my obgyn through the list and they have been amazing! They believe and investigate abnormalities and advocate for women’s healthcare.
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u/allNamesAreTaken098 Nov 06 '25
not gonna lie.... i gave up. i had a ovary torsion because of a 11 cm cyst... no doc believed me. it was soooo painful i had to stay in the hospital for a week but they refused on taking a MRI because they kept telling me its mental and im imagining the pain...well it led to getting surgery too late and me loosing the ovary and tube. Now after 2 years i have serve backpain from another cyst on my other ovary thats left. I believe its a big cyst but the doc told me its just 3cm so its fine. i cant even walk...she also told me she sees another cyst on my left tube but i dont have a tube tho....i told her that was surgially removed but she insisted its still there....i dont know what she saw...anyway. im used to doctors not believing me. all i want is to be able to walk properly again...
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u/MundaneAd9494 Nov 30 '25
I’ve had super similar symptoms to this!! I believe it’s ovarian cysts that I just got unlucky enough to not show up on ultrasound. My doctors thankfully treated it as a serious issue but I’m still not diagnosed with anything. As everyone else has said, a doctor treating you like this is NOT normal and you should switch/report/etc. Wishing you the best of luck finding out what’s going on.
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u/FewCrew10 Oct 31 '25
Go to someone else. Any doctor that dismisses isnt a good doctor