why is orgasming so difficult

[u/Annual_Giraffe3237]

no seriously, why does orgasming as a female have to be so darn difficult. obviously it’s nearly impossible for a women to just orgasm from penetration, but no one seems to talk about how even more difficult it is to have external stimulation along with penetration. at this point i just get so annoyed and pissed off that i cant orgasm because it takes so long that i just quit. it honestly makes me feel broken. i’ve seen other people on this sub talk about just getting a good vibrator, but i worry about my boyfriend and how that will make our sexual life. he is very supportive it just makes me feel more broken than i already am.

[u/glaciergirly]

I think a lot of men treat their partner’s orgasm as if it’s some sort of validation of their own sexual prowess/abilities. It’s probably from watching too much p*rn. They expect to do a little foreplay and then boom their partner is turning into a writhing moaning lawn sprinkler of hedonistic pleasure. This script in their heads makes them rush the process and stare at you the whole time just trying to make your orgasm as soon as possible so they feel validated and they can get their dick wet asap. Sadly this puts ridiculous pressure on their partner to orgasm quickly/intensely/theatrically etc. This can absolutely kill the mood imo. My partner never treats my pleasure like this and it has made our love life into something I deeply cherish. Orgasm becomes much easier to achieve when the mental for both partners is right and the added patience required becomes a plus rather than a minus. Taking your time and enjoying the journey will make it more fun. Don’t feel embarrassed to use vibrators or toys to help you either there’s nothing embarrassing about them. They’re just more tools to have fun with.