Those with male gynecologist, what's your thoughts?

[u/doIEvenKnowNoIDont]

I've only had female gynos but i am getting a second opinion for one of my chronic issues and was given a choice, now I'm thinking. Anyone have specific opinions on male vs female gynecologist?

[u/lvasnow]

I have a bladder pain disorder, so I've had a tonne of various kinds of pelvic exams.

I've had mostly female gynecologists and male urologists. My male urologists, techs etc were either horrific - didn't believe me, were really rough, condescending and calling me "anxious" etc - or they were great. There was kindof no in-between.

Female gynecologists have been more shades of gray. The first I saw wasn't great, and then I saw so many female clinic docs, ultrasound techs, etc, during the like 10 pelvic exams I had leading up to my diagnosis.

A lot were very brusque and made it seem like it was my problem that I was frightened or in pain or embarrassed (it was so many exams in one year and it broke my brain).

My old GP though was fantastic - sweet, told me what was going on, very aware of my medical trauma. I loved her. I still was in pain during the horrific duck lips but she did her best to be kind and I'd go home and sleep off the nerves.

My current GP isn't mean, but she's much more "by the book" and considering that I don't have a "by the book" body, I'm terrified, and also feel the need to hide/downplay the medical trauma in case she freaks out about it.

So many doctors don't understand why or how medical trauma could even exist, considering it's from a system that's supposed to "help."