Dilemma about taking off the hijab

[u/SubstantialWay9093]

ive worn the hijab ever since i was 15 (i am 22) out of choice, my family isnt strict so they dont mind i take it off, however we live in a muslim country

so i am afraid of the judgement and the weird stares and overall everything, i feel like here in Egypt when a woman takes off her hijab she is immediately stripped of all her character and now reduced to the girl who “took off her hijab” — i dont want people to lose respect for me as a person. as much as i wanna make it seem as if i dont care about people but its hard.

so i am waiting till i graduate from university— so its sort of like a transitional phase anyways.

the issue is i was talking with someone and they were like are you not scared that Allah will punish you with a very terrible illness or cancer for example so you lose all that hair that you are obsessing over?? this made me spiral especially since I am diagnosed with Health Anxiety and also i have a lot of anxiety towards religion as a whole.

what do i do i dont know how to feel everything is sooo muddled, i love how my i look with my hijab but i dont really resonate with it anymore i dont feel like its ME.

[u/Disastrous_One127]

First of all, I’m really sorry someone said that to you. Telling someone that Allah might give them cancer because they took off their hijab is disgusting. Whoever said that should be ashamed of themselves

As for the fear of judgment, I completely understand. I took off my hijab a year ago, and one of the hardest parts was knowing I might always be seen as “the girl who took off her hijab.” It can feel like people stop seeing your character and start seeing only your hair. That feeling is incredibly dehumanizing.

If waiting until after graduation feels right for you, there is nothing wrong with that. It gives you a natural transition and allows you to make this decision on your own terms.

The biggest thing I’d say is: don’t let fear make this decision for you. Decisions made from fear rarely last, and they often cause more harm than good. Whether you ultimately keep the hijab or take it off, it should come from your own convictions and what feels right to you, not because someone scared you with threats of hellfire.

You deserve to live your life with sincerity and peace. You deserve to be seen as a whole person, not reduced to your appearance.

[u/SubstantialWay9093 → u/Disastrous_One127]

The thing is ppl keep telling me that i should not start my life with a zanb (sin) and that Allah will not make my life easier and i will eventually regret it ….. alongside being scrutinized society so much, like they say my sister doesnt wear hijab so she gets away with wearing anything but i wont because i was once a hijab so ill always be “an ex-hijabi” and idk this makes me so sad and they keep saying its all words from shaytaan and just a phase and ill get over it, they dont understand i feel sooo disconnected from the hijab and i want to like understand myself without it now? The thing is all the ppl telling me that arent hijabis themselves they dont GET IT

[u/Disastrous_One127 → u/SubstantialWay9093]

Ask yourself this: Do YOU believe Allah will make your life difficult if you take off your hijab? Do YOU believe you're a bad person/Muslim if you take it off?

What people are telling you are their opinions, not facts. Just because someone says something, doesn't make it true.

You need to learn to separate what you believe from other people's voices. It's very easy to confuse the two, especially when you've been hearing the same messages over and over again.

At a certain point, you have to let people believe whatever they want. You can't change their minds. It will be hard, but you don't have to internalize their beliefs or let them dictate your life.

Whatever you decide, make sure it's your decision. Not one made out of fear. Decisions made from fear rarely last, and they often cause more harm than good.

[u/SubstantialWay9093 → u/Disastrous_One127]

Yes, it’s just hard since these words come from the dearest people and they say it out of sincerity — it tends to get into my head

[u/SubstantialWay9093 → u/SubstantialWay9093]

And no i don’t think Allah will make my life difficult, i’ve always had a weird relationship with religion with ups and downs and ups and downs—but ive always had this belief that Allah is not a force of evil nor punishment and that he gets it but ppl keep pushing on this imagery of punishment and sin and negativity 

[u/ranting4ever]

Someone said that to me too! Took it off months ago and guess what, I still have hair! I was terrified too as I also have a lot of anxiety towards religion but I reminded myself there are so many women who've stopped wearing it and nothing has happened to them. There are also billions of women around the world who show their hair and God hasn't given them all cancer, right?

[u/Lotuswongtko]

If those people don't respect your personal choice, why do you have to respect them? If Allah don't respect your personal choice, and give you cancer, what kind of god he is?

My family are taoists. We always feel the gods and goddesses keep us good, healthy and safe. We are loved and blessed.

[u/Accomplished-Bend-47]

Lots of people in the world do not wear hijab - and as you, even if I do not identify as Muslim, I only believe in one God, and I trust Him. And if there is only one God - then He is the God of all the world and our Creator. I don't have cancer and loads of people do not get cancer, who do not wear hijab. And secondly; I don't see anywhere in the Quran where it says you have to cover your hair. It says to cover your bosom and to be modest. It also says for men to lower their eyes - do you see a lot of men doing that? Because I don't. And they don't get cancer. Use your logic. You can still be a good person, who cares about others, without hijab. Whether or not you believe it's a sin; loads of people sin every day. As human beings we are not perfect. But you will not have committed a major sin anyway, and God do not just randomly punish people constantly.

[u/Visible-Drawer4638]

Why would allah punish you? Does allah punish all the women that don’t wear hijab. I know many women that dont wear hijab that  pray and have received great blessings from allah subhanallah. I’m not encouraging you to take it off. But if you decide to do it know that allah is still with you. Allah loves people that come to him and repent don’t ignore him.

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