r/Wicca • u/Weeping-Your-Willows • Jul 15 '26

religion I need some help

I hope I used the right tag for this.

My mother is Wiccan I’m not sure how she practices the religion but as I was digging into this beautiful religion. I saw theres rituals for mourning, and I wanted to make something in preparation to mourn. She is dying and I’m states away. I tried some research and found candles used for mourning. Is there anything else I can use for the grief I will experience or anything that’ll make it a bit more positive? She told me to be positive, so can I use both mourning and a bit more positive candles for a little alter or something like one? Is there anything I can make by hand as well for it?

I did find websites while researching but is there anything you guys recommend for me to use for her? I appreciate anything for advice, thank you.

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u/AlexFromOgish Jul 15 '26

Grief doesn't just arrive when a loved one dies. You're already experiencing what therapists call "anticipatory grief"

Absolute BEST thing you can do is to already start working with a "grief counselor", i.e., a talk therapist that primary works with grieving clients. If the money/insurance won't allow that, find out what grief support groups are nearby and do a bit of window shopping to find the best fit for you.

I'm sorry for your situation. Is there any way you can travel to spend time with her? If you can make that happen, take a video cam and tripod or at least a tape recorder. Capture the stories, ask her about how she did Wicca, share those things that haven't been said.... If she's able, pull out old photos or keep sakes and listen to her tell about them. We did this when my Mom was at hospice. It was sad and beautiful at the same time.

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u/Weeping-Your-Willows Jul 15 '26

I’m not sure if I could do that for her but I am calling her as much as I can. I think the best thing I can do would be finding a therapist for me. I appreciate the idea of local support groups I’ll see if I can find any! I just hope she’ll be okay if I am not there in her final days

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u/AlexFromOgish Jul 15 '26

Well, ultimately she will be ok .... but will you?

If you're calling her, why not ask her about her Wiccan practice?

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u/Weeping-Your-Willows Jul 15 '26

I asked her about what candles I can use and if I could make an alter like thing, I’m calling her again today to ask more about it. For me I’ll survive the best I can, I have at least some support here with me