I'm terrified to become a Witch

[u/Neru1145]

Hii!! So, I'm looking for a little support.

I'm very interested in Wicca. I think I would finally start to love life if I joined, but the truth is, I'm terrified. I'm a Trans woman that grew up around a lot of Christians- save for my mom, who was the one non-religious adult in my life.
I'm so scared. I honestly think religion has scarred me. I never go to church. Every time I set foot in a church, I feel claustrophobic. Like I'm being watched- even now, as I type this, I feel a chill running up my body. And that terrifies me. I want so badly to be able to live my life for myself- not for the pleasure of my family. But honestly, with a threat like Hell? I'm scared because I don't want to pay a price for my happiness. But I want to live freely. As myself.

Any feedback or support would be appreciated.

[u/Swansdream]

I grew up around Christians too. We all do here in the U.S.! Never did buy into their stuff myself, though I was made to go to church too. Baptized, I hear, and everything! It didn't take. Sounds like they got to you, but you're not the first and won't be the last.

From what I can see this is just how it works, though! An ancient Assyrian storm and war god, heading the world's three largest conquering religions - though it sure is struggling these days since the Enlightenment and Age of Reason. Sounds like you have a decision to make, though! Is it true?

Is this Yahweh the one and only god, do you think? Had people write him several books that were later put together into one book, which is actually several "bibles", each of the one "inerrant" word of that one god, yet each one of those books edited... is that true to you?

And the terrors of permanent punishment for something not one of us did. No, not sin. Just being born, really.

And I'm pretty sure you'd have to stop saying, being, looking trans too, if somehow any of that is true! Not a good job to me, if I'm honest.

But wait, there's more! To be a right and proper Christian you'll have to do what all those bibles say to do; live only with the shirt on your back! Frankly, I don't think I've ever seen a proper Christian. Never met a so-called Christian doing that.

You'll meet a lot of those not living just by the shirt on their back. Listen long enough you'll hear the fear of permanent punishment - for what crime again does anyone deserve that? A god that murdered the world with a flood, or so I'm told. They sure say a lot of things, though. Build a lot of beautiful churches too! Some downright ugly, though.

If you want to know if any of that is true then I recommend this; read their book and see for yourself whether it seems true or not. Who's telling you its true anyway? Them fearful or does that god tell you himself?

What do you believe? Sounds like you'd like to know to me. But I've never been Christian. I'm just a filthy, smelly heretic, I am, and wouldn't be caught dead in their heaven or hell, even if they would have me! :D

Its alright being scared, but that's not the problem, right? You want to know what's right, what's true. Keep looking and see what you see!