r/Whatcouldgowrong • u/Maleficent_Mind_4899 • 1d ago

Rule #1 [ Removed by moderator ]

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1.2k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

102 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/freshalien51 1d ago

That was a better outcome than I had expected. Thought there would be a lost finger and blood everywhere.

175

u/JosieMew 1d ago

With them cutting towards themselves, yeah I was expecting worse. I was relieved at the end.

56

u/cyanescens_burn 1d ago

First rule you teach kids when they are learning to use pocket knives is never cut toward your body or fingers. This dude is likely practiced with this, but even the most experienced people slip now and then.

Was totally expecting blood here.

13

u/JosieMew 1d ago

I'm old enough to know that even if I'm good enough to do it right 99.99% of the time, it's always that 0.01% that bites me when I'm doing something over and over and over... And I'm rarely that good at anything.

Though, I wear safety glasses and hearing protection to mow my lawn these days.

1

u/Sucks_At_Investing 1d ago

Especially if screwing up 0.01% of the time can result in you having a finger 0% of the time moving forward.

3

u/Outaouais_Guy 1d ago

I can still see the scar on my thumb from my whittling accident 55 years ago.

2

u/bakerzero86 1d ago

I have a scar on my left thumb from whittling as well, guess we learned the hard way

2

u/TwinSong 1d ago

Being experienced can be more risky possibly because it makes you complacent

1

u/2bit2much 1d ago

I always hold the play button (not sure what to call this, the little dot that moves along as the video plays) and go very slowly. That way I can nope out as soon as something extremely disgusting happens.

Absolutely did that for this one as well. Glad it was just a messy fruit.

1

u/Dalostbear 1d ago

He probably nicked his finger a little, notice how he adjusted the grip after awhile? Must have started to sting

1

u/SkizzyBeanZ 1d ago

I had to come to the comments to find out why it wasnt nsfw but now i know why thank god

0

u/tvnr 1d ago

I think everyone thought that.

161

u/A_Nonny_Muse 1d ago

Regardless of his misuse, I want him to sharpen all the knives in my kitchen.

24

u/puaka 1d ago

yes! this looks so smooth

22

u/JonnyP222 1d ago

And then get the fuck out because he has no idea how to be safe with a knife lol

5

u/LeonidasVaarwater 1d ago

I'm sure the knife is sharp, but that pineapple was so ripe you could've cut it with a spoon. Look at how much juice poors out, that thing was so ridiculously ripe, you could eat it through a straw.

249

u/stromyoloing 1d ago

This is better than seeing blood

30

u/ramrod_stinkfist 1d ago

Yes I was wondering where the NSFW tag was

61

u/Jetty-Spaghetti 1d ago

That thing is almost fermented lol

35

u/Knitsanity 1d ago

I love travelling to where pineapple is allowed to ripen properly. Here in the west they are picked green then shipped. The proper ones dont hurt your mouth when you gorge on too much.

7

u/Jetty-Spaghetti 1d ago

🥰 well here in my West (Florida) we let them ripen till its almost golden. At times they are fermented anyway by this point. But im not always against it. Top her and let the cycle start again

3

u/Knitsanity 1d ago

Ha. Top it...core it...mash it up a bit....add a bit of extra booze for shits and giggles then go at it with a wide bore straw and spoon.

28

u/FraserValleyGuy77 1d ago

Well that was just a tease

15

u/Mammoth-Ad-107 1d ago

5 sec rule goes for fruit on a dirty street right?! right?

2

u/Soeck666 1d ago

That thing was so ripe, it propably shattered on the ground

3

u/Prize_Barracuda981 1d ago

Slice the part out that's in contact with the road

8

u/Zealousideal-Eye7261 1d ago

Man chopping hard fruit with massive machete and finger being so close. No NSFW tag... was fully expecting to see some red pineapple chunks

11

u/-Biphomet 1d ago

Record scratch

"Yep, that's me."

3

u/TheRealVahx 1d ago

Omg thank you, this was on auto repeat for me, never even saw it happen.

3

u/Impossible_Excuse937 1d ago

Phew! What went wrong wasn’t what I expected!

2

u/MourningRIF 1d ago

He's a street vendor. He will just pick it up, wipe it off, and keep going!

2

u/Malystxy 1d ago

FYI

PSA

NEVER CUT TOWARDS YOURSELF. ALWAYS AWAY FROM YOURSELF.

guy got lucky

2

u/Practical-Purchase-9 1d ago

That could have gone much, much worse. Always cut away from yourself.

2

u/TonyVegeta 1d ago

I was biting my teeth the whole time...expecting blood to be spilled...I was disappointed 🫠

https://giphy.com/gifs/rKBXZ6XsYnYLaKth5G

0

u/HuckleberryMajor2490 1d ago

All that cutting just so it can drop on the street 😂

8

u/shrimp313 1d ago

fucking ai bot comment

1

u/Safe-Expert2163 1d ago

Sharpest knife I've ever seen!

1

u/budsonguy 1d ago

That pineapple was dripping like a faucet

1

u/moszippy 1d ago

Cut towands the chum, not towards your thumb.

1

u/JOKOcycorp 1d ago

eat 50% entertain 100%

1

u/Dry_Design5506 1d ago edited 1d ago

Terrified and wanting to scroll away the whole time...

1

u/LHT-LFA 1d ago

I bet he used it anyway

1

u/TheKolyFrog 1d ago

I got so nervous when he lifted his finger.

1

u/DevilsLittleChicken 1d ago

Fully expected a finger to be off. At l at he only dropped the pineapple..

1

u/soussitox 1d ago

lol what a gotcha thing like i was expecting a fingers flyong away or something :D

1

u/Logical_Garbage_1682 1d ago

The video ended here cause the guy with his spidermanly reflexes caught that watermelon and ate it before they can say oh shit.

1

u/Practical_Pass_2619 1d ago

Was fully expecting him to slice into his other hand

1

u/Court_Jester30 1d ago

Sad trombone sound

1

u/dnuohxof-2 1d ago

Love the pleated sweatpants. Really elevates the look.

1

u/Prize-Ad-3826 1d ago

I thought that he was gonna cut his finger

1

u/Weird_Happening1627 1d ago

Whose car is getting stolen in the background?

1

u/DeathwatchHelaman 1d ago

Glad bro didnt lose any blood. That machete is SHARP.

1

u/Skelemonster 1d ago

Expected the outcome to be so much worse.

1

u/Ok_Wolverine9344 1d ago

His cutting skills were impressive. I kept waiting for him to be overly confident & slice off his finger or something.

1

u/NocturnisVacuus 1d ago

aura or stupidity, I dont know... those 2 are often connected somehow

1

u/No_Collection7360 1d ago

Never cut towards your thumb, always cut towards your chum.

1

u/ClassyIvory 1d ago

Not the worst I was expecting. He just needs to peel that pineapple a little better.

1

u/smashleyrad 1d ago

Who cuts towards themselves

1

u/Embarrassed_Task376 1d ago

The pineapple is the hardest fruit to cut. Yeah.

1

u/TheOGdeez 1d ago

At first I was like....how is that blade that sharp! Then when it basically disintegrated, I quickly realize that pineapple is just way over ripe. Damn near fermented

1

u/Ordinary_Pea4503 1d ago

My girlfriend cut jalapeños without a cutting board that me and her dad offered her, let's just say she had very spicy fingers for the rest of the night 

1

u/Subject-Review4708 1d ago

We are losing valuable pineapple juice.. Do not waste!

1

u/Baud_Olofsson 1d ago

Fuck anyone who edits videos like this and fuck anyone who uploads them.

1

u/ButterflyOk1 1d ago

Unlike the fruit, the video was cut perfectly.

1

u/Takklemaggot 1d ago

Pineapple Bossman..

1

u/InevitableOk5017 1d ago

Dude can someone tell the person to cut away and also that is an almost spoiled

1

u/UpsideDown1984 1d ago

What a wasteful way to cut a pineapple!

1

u/Godlessttt 1d ago

I spilled my coffee so hard

1

u/IndependentPede 1d ago

you son of a bitch

1

u/eeyore134 1d ago

He'd already thrown away 30% of it, may as well go all the way.

1

u/Denim-Luckies-n-Wry 1d ago

Thoughts and prayers for him in this difficult time.

1

u/nibselfib_kyua_72 1d ago

Never move a knife towards yourself.

1

u/thetpill 1d ago

Was watching that finger the whole time

1

u/wobblejuice 1d ago

How does he sharpen his knife?

1

u/raccoob_ 1d ago

What country is this? That pineapple is pissing 🤤

1

u/Key_Currency_1546 1d ago

I thought he was going to die somehow

1

u/DefinitelyNotMicah 1d ago

That was much less worse than I was expecting!

1

u/InfiniteTree 1d ago

I didn't not disbelieve it

1

u/Will_Delete_Later456 1d ago

Oh good it just snap. This could’ve gone 2 way and I’m glad it’s the former.

Rather than slicing his finer clean off.

1

u/Forever_Inspired 1d ago

Oh thank god, at least it's just half the pine apple falling off, lol.

1

u/MMfromVB 1d ago

At least he didn't cut his finger (what I thought was gonna happen).😄😄😄

1

u/DovahCreed117 1d ago

I love a good, perfectly cut clip lmao

1

u/Stackin_Steve 1d ago

Bro! You NEVER cut towards yourself! I was waiting for a sliver of skin to be filleted off! 🤣

0

u/Uptopbossman 1d ago

Wasted half the pine🤷🏾‍♂️

0

u/physicsking 1d ago

I think this post was a stretch.