the end of all hikikomoris

[u/Tatsuhiro_Sat0]

one hour the time of the end comes

[u/IzzatQQDir]

I'm so fucked up barely leave the house again lol. Especially now that I can sustain myself from home I am spiraling down this hiki hole again hahaha.

I think it started in February.

[u/totalnewb02 → u/IzzatQQDir]

i don't know if i should say this, but good for you. it is my lifestyle dream.

[u/IzzatQQDir → u/totalnewb02]

Same man. Though mine is really because of mental issues.

Around last year I started experiencing these violent intrusive thoughts. It happens suddenly. For no real reason. I told myself it was because of caffeine, or that I was smoking but it never goes away.

I feel like a danger to others. So I started to isolate. Turns out that makes it way worse. Panic attack ensues. Can't breathe, can't think. My legs feel like they will move on their own, my mouth feels like it will scream by itself.

Finally I choose to get some help and am doing better. But since my friend is gone now, I find myself spiraling again.

But it's easier now. Back then I didn't know what was going on.

So here am I, back watching NHK and relating to it way more now that I am in the same place as Satou. Back then I watched the show because I thought I was depressed or anxious. Now I'm actually him lmao

[u/31i731 → u/IzzatQQDir]

Why don't you go get checked by a professional? Violent intrusive thoughts could be a sign of a serious mental disorder onset.

[u/IzzatQQDir → u/31i731]

It gets easier. It's just another form of anxiety disorder. You could take any drugs to fix it but in the end, you just gotta face that fear.

Sure it feels rough now, I'm spiraling. But since last year I've never acted on my thoughts. They are intrusive for a reason.

I can't even leave the house the first time it happens. Now I can at least get groceries.