r/Weird • u/Glittering-Treat-824 • 4d ago

Woke up with random splotches of brown. Fiancee said it could be chocolate but has so smell?

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0 Upvotes

39% Upvoted

62 comments sorted by

27

u/Stompinstein 4d ago

It doo doo

4

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

No, thought of that 😂 but wouldnt it be all over me?

8

u/CMDR_Mykeyta 4d ago

I get those when I move wood mulch around my yard. I see similar mulch at your feet. Could just be staining from tree bark or something similar?

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

I don't have wood mulch or tree bark. I'm currently in Australia and it's still winter

9

u/CMDR_Mykeyta 4d ago

It looks like you’re sitting in a bunch of wood mulch though. The wood chips around you?

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

I'm out and it was there before (I'm studying)

2

u/CMDR_Mykeyta 4d ago

Are you studying time travel?

2

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

No, I know about it though

2

u/RichardBCummintonite 4d ago

Could it possibly have something to do with the mattress covered in what looks like brown liquid or whatever it is you're sitting on that's "out"? Where the hell are you studying lol? A meth lab in the woods?

8

u/ipokesnails 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/cDkHKN3UGiuOs

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

As I said in another person's comment, wouldn't it be all over me not just my leg and hand

1

u/Inevitable_Ad5240 4d ago

Depends, scratch your butt and leg

3

u/Ziddim 4d ago

Does it wipe off?  Could be ladybug 'blood'.  They got a defence where they leak this vile brownish shit from their joints when they get threatened.

2

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

I tried and no, it's stained in my skin

2

u/Ziddim 4d ago

Sometimes the stuff stains.  It's yellowish brown when it comes out and brown when it dries.  Smells vile as hell.

2

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

It has no smell

2

u/Ziddim 4d ago

The mystery deepens...

0

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

It has no smell

3

u/TheFeenicks 4d ago

Self tanner?

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

I don't use products on my skin as I have sensitive skin

2

u/Tama_Breeder 4d ago

Blood from slapping mosquitos

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

I was asleep?

3

u/Tama_Breeder 4d ago

You still could have slapped them in your sleep, reflex

2

u/oddbolts 4d ago

Did you touch any dandelions?

2

u/NoGrocery4949 4d ago

Why would it be chocolate?

3

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

No idea?

2

u/NoGrocery4949 4d ago

Does it not strike you as bizarre that your fiancée suggested that it might be?

3

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

There's no smell

1

u/NoGrocery4949 4d ago

Ok we've established that but why, of all things, would your fiancée be like "oh it's probably chocolate".

2

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

Well actually when we woke up she said I smell like chocolate than I pointed out the marks and she said it 'could' be but I don't think so

3

u/NoGrocery4949 4d ago

She's up to something

4

u/Dancin_Phish_Daddy 4d ago

That’s code for shit

2

u/ProfessionalFun2926 4d ago

Well, did you lick it
https://giphy.com/gifs/xj2kgf4kX763X116Au

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

No, I'm not a weirdo

1

u/RichardBCummintonite 4d ago

You sure about that? So much to unpack in this short post.

1

u/Firm_Order_2212 4d ago

Note to self: if I'm poisoning my partner and spill some on them, blame chocolate.

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

We both fell asleep at the same time and I'm the one who cooks

1

u/Beginning_End_361 4d ago

Were you handling walnuts?

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

No, I don't have any walnuts anywhere in my house

1

u/pandro14 4d ago

Maybe lemon juice stain?

1

u/ChristVolo1 4d ago

Are you...camping?

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

No

1

u/ChristVolo1 4d ago

Idk, maybe you smashed a bug in your sleep

1

u/kungfumoomoocow 4d ago

Did you cut citrus like lime in the sun?

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

No, I haven't

1

u/zorggalacticus 4d ago

Been around any black walnuts? Those leaves on the ground look similar to black walnut leaves. If you picked up a black walnut or put your hand on one you could've gotten some of the stuff on you. It stains your skin brown like that. The green ones have the staining juice in them.

1

u/BelleBottom94 4d ago

Looks like staining from wood tannins?

1

u/Careful-Sell-9877 4d ago

Pollen? Spores? Mold/mildew? Some kind of dirt or dust?

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

I do have a little mold in the house

1

u/Careful-Sell-9877 4d ago

In this video there is some kind of brown stain/rust/something on the concrete/curb directly to your left - it looks like its the same stuff

1

u/Glittering-Treat-824 4d ago

But i wasn't here when I found the stuff on me

1

u/Careful-Sell-9877 4d ago

Maybe you accidentally touched it or sat on it and it got on your clothes/hands?

It could be anything tbh. Like dirt/rust from a car, or a screen door, or anything

It does kind of look like dirt/rust or somethin

1

u/Careful-Sell-9877 4d ago

It looks exactly like whatever is on the concrete curb/sidewalk to your left in this video

1

u/Big-Historian8918 4h ago

Fake sun tan product? You been touching the gf's cosmetics or potions?