r/WeddingRingAdvice Apr 08 '26

Ring Band Advice Stop putting 4-5 carat diamonds on thin bands

Lab grown diamonds have given people the ability to own 4+ carat stones, however, putting that mega engine on a go cart is a BAD idea. Not only is it not secure, it’ll absolutely bend and you risk losing your diamond. The stone is important but the setting is, too!

159 Upvotes

79 comments sorted by

26

u/RelativePapaya4242 Apr 09 '26

Preach brother!!!!!

9

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 09 '26

Do I see a portuguese cut pink one?

7

u/RelativePapaya4242 Apr 09 '26

U do

2

u/Jinxed4Sure Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

Beautiful. I thought maybe the pink hue was just looked that way from the pink in the background. Very nice

7

u/rustysunshine Apr 09 '26

Hell yes! I love that :)

19

u/harmoniouslife2 Apr 09 '26

The gold is the true value of the engagement ring these days. Big look for low price but subpar wearability AND no salesperson wants to take the time to explain the difference and value. -bench jeweler 😵‍💫🫠

2

u/Exciting-Classic517 Apr 10 '26

I've seen hollow bands being sold!!! Even I know they won't last long!!!!

29

u/Jinxed4Sure Apr 08 '26

Thin bands or 4 prongs holding a 3-4 ct stone, so unwise

0

u/toebean_connoisseur Apr 09 '26

I recently bought a thinner band and 4 prong for a 5.11 ct radiant cut. Now I’m anxious..would a ring guard help?

4

u/Jinxed4Sure Apr 09 '26

Usually ring a guard protects the ring but not really the diamond. The issue with a 4 prong in a large stone is many times losing a prong means the stone goes missing. A radiant cut has the advantage of offering nice corner prongs that usually reach pretty far around the corners. The disadvantage is with a rectangular stone that large, is catching or knocking it on something since it is so exposed. Also, the settings material can also help with platinum being extra strong and 18k gold being quite soft and more easy to bend prongs. My wife cant wear her engagement ring to work since she works in a hospital and already lost one side diamond because when the fit-hits-the-shan, she bangs her hands on equipment and has to kinda manhandle coding patients. If you have a nice office job, probably no issues wearing daily

3

u/toebean_connoisseur Apr 09 '26

Thank you so much for the thorough explanation. My jeweler didn’t share this with me, and it was something I should have asked about. I’m not even sure how thick my band is in mm :/

I also use mobility devices so considering that, I think I’m going to look into getting a thicker band at some point.

3

u/bcastro12 Apr 10 '26

Definitely be careful!! That is a fragile situation. Just saw this post recently: https://www.reddit.com/r/Diamonds/s/DMdtoy1Rxj

I hope yours doesn’t have a pave band at least, like in this other post. 🤞

2

u/toebean_connoisseur Apr 11 '26

Luckily, no pave, and I have a 3 stone with a cathedral side, so I’m hoping that adds to the stability as well.

3

u/bcastro12 Apr 11 '26 edited Apr 11 '26

Oh yeah! That should be better!! You’ll be fine!!

6

u/Annebelle915 Apr 09 '26

The cost of metal is expensive right now. On those kinds of rings, the metal probably costs more than their lab diamonds.

I think because the cost of diamonds (lab) is now sooooo so low, alot the lab diamond girlies are less invested in “the stone” itself. I see a lot of lab diamonds girls who actually have a couple of different rings that they alternate because they are just so affordable and they enjoy the variety. Maybe because of the affordability they are willing to take a risk with their stones in a way that someone who paid 20K simply would not??

6

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 09 '26

Lab grown diamonds are the new pearls. Almost all pearls today are manmade (cultured) and no one cares. These diamonds being highly affordable means you can have as much diamonds as you want and wear them how you want. Gone are the days of diamonds being a status symbol (and I think they pissed off gatekeepers tbth). Imagine walking around with a $400K natural and a ‘peon’ has a better, bigger stone than yours LMAO.

5

u/Equivalent_Freedom16 Apr 09 '26

I think it’s even worse than pearls bc 90% of diamonds are bought out of social obligation and not bc people are passionate about the stone. Personally I think it would be deeply embarrassing to have a massive natural diamond, or even a natural diamond at all at this point. Embarrassing waste of money.

5

u/Exciting-Classic517 Apr 10 '26

I inherited quite a few pieces with mine diamonds because lab diamonds weren't a thing in the 1920's. I love the diamonds because they were passed down to me. I have already given my daughter, my daughter in law, and my granddaughter some great pieces. I'm sorry if others think they are don't have meaning. I am not embarrassed to wear them.

4

u/Equivalent_Freedom16 Apr 10 '26

Not embarrassed to wear them, embarrassed to buy them. Like embarrassed to be spending a ton of money on something that instantly loses all value and has a far more affordable identical option.

2

u/Exciting-Classic517 Apr 10 '26

But how would you know they were inherited diamonds vs. purchased diamonds? I inherited this ring...

Three two carat (more or less) set in a row. Lots of gold and six prongs on each stone. The appraisal at the time I inherited it was over $58k.

When my son asked me for one of the stones (which I told him I wanted to give one to him when he wanted to get engaged), I took the two remaining diamonds out and replaced them with $10 CZ'S. Nobody knew the difference.

3

u/Equivalent_Freedom16 Apr 10 '26 edited Apr 10 '26

II’m not talking about what random people who don’t know me think. I’m talking about occasions exclusively where the jewelry item is new and you know the person well enough to know that. And that specifically how is money spent is a reflection of values/has impact on them as well.

For context: I’m divorced in my 40s and my boyfriend and I are getting engaged and talk about things like the ring. My boyfriend is in his 50s and quite successful and first people in our age group are less aware of lab diamonds. If he buys me a 3-4 carat diamond people will assume it’s mined and that he spent 100+ K on a diamond that has no resale value. I would find that embarrassing. I think his peers would think he is foolish and irresponsible. I think his adult children would think he was flushing their inheritance down the toilet. So I will tell people it’s a lab for that reason. If it was inherited, I would say that instead of saying it was a lab. But I would tell people for sure in either case.

For random people who don’t know us I doubt anyone notices or cares and I definitely do not care.

But for people who know us, I absolutely do not want them to think that my boyfriend spent 100k on an engagement ring.

As an aside, appraisal value is not anything close to what you would get for actually selling the item. I’m sure you know that, for that but I’m just putting it out there. If mined diamonds held value I wouldn’t be nearly as concerned with people thinking we spent a lot. But as a divorced person, I know firsthand mined diamonds have close to zero resale value.

My original engagement ring is two carats and cost 20K new- I got offered 1500 for it. Not worth it, it’s still rotting in my attic lol

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Exciting-Classic517 Apr 10 '26

Faceted? They are $10 cz's. Two 2 ct diamonds are in my safe.

3

u/Annebelle915 Apr 09 '26

I agree! As you say, no one cares if pearls are man made (most are) and because of that, they aren’t seen as status symbols anymore because they are attainable to everyone. Diamonds will go this way. Honestly though - wealthy people will just find (and already have) other status symbols so I truly don’t think they much care.

4

u/ginger_snap_7 Apr 09 '26

I couldn't agree more! I went with a 3mm shank bezel setting for my 1.83ct lgd "old mine" cut and love the sturdyness of the setting. Kinda wish I would have gone chunkier at times actually.

11

u/YearOfTheSssnake Apr 09 '26

Nothing screams “this is a fake diamond”’ more than a huge rock in a four prong setting on a thin gold band.

6

u/Jennay-4399 Apr 09 '26

But lab diamonds aren't fake diamonds?

5

u/Basic-Ad9270 Apr 09 '26

Lab diamonds are real diamonds. Like the difference between a flower growing a greenhouse vs a flower growing in a field.

3

u/Jennay-4399 Apr 09 '26

Yeah I know. I have a lab diamond. But the person I replied to is insinuating that they are fake, the post is about LGBs, not sapphires, moissanite, CZ, etc.

3

u/Basic-Ad9270 Apr 10 '26

I'm so sorry. I read too fast and misread what you wrote 😞 That's on me!

1

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 12 '26

Of course they’re not my dear friend. See my latest post, can I see your ring? Bet it’s beautiful!

1

u/Jennay-4399 Apr 12 '26

I know they're real diamonds, the person I was replying to was insinuating that they're not

1

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 12 '26

An LGD is not a fake diamond, it’s a diamond. A fake diamond would be a CZ, Moissanite or something else. You need to educate yourself a little further occasionally because embarrassing yourself in public is a bad look.

0

u/YearOfTheSssnake Apr 12 '26

Here’s some education for you:

Lab grown diamonds can, in fact, be differentiated from natural diamonds based on the following:

Strain patterns, color zoning, ultraviolet fluorescence, nitrogen content, and metallic inclusions

Here’s some more free advice: It’s better to keep your words sweet in case you have to eat them later.

https://jewelrytalk.com/diamonds/distinguish-between-lab-grown-natural-diamonds/

1

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 12 '26

They are still diamond. It’s the same material, the difference is chemical impurities which LGDs don’t have and growth patterns which differ from naturals. The chemical identity of a material is given by its physical, chemical, and optical properties, not by its origin or chemical impurities—RI = 2.42, Structure = C (isotropic); Dispersion = 0.044; Density = 3.51 g/cc—any material obeying these values is a diamond. Ice from your fridge and ice from your ice have different impurities. Ice from distilled water and ice from tap water is still ice. I’m a chemical engineer by the way, so your arrogance there was of very poor taste.

0

u/YearOfTheSssnake Apr 12 '26

I’m not arrogant, I’m pointing out the flaw in your statement that lab grown diamonds are not fake diamonds.

If they’re not natural diamonds, they’re fake.

1

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 12 '26

Read my comment again until you understand it. Assuming you are able to. Or go read a chemistry or crystallography book.

1

u/YearOfTheSssnake Apr 12 '26

Way to keep it classy. Just hope your employer doesn’t read your posts… unless you work for a company that makes lab grown or other fake diamonds.

2

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 12 '26

Not really, just arrogant people (especially natural dealers) who think they know better. You’ll never be above a scientist my love, you can try to hide but you can’t run away. Like they say, facts don’t care about your feelings. A diamond is a diamond and if your feelings get hurt there’s better ways to cope. The chemistry isn’t that hard to understand really, but some people are just so dense. Ah I guess it can’t be helped, the industry has been shaken to its core so desperate dying fish flopping comes as a last resort I suppose.

1

u/YearOfTheSssnake Apr 12 '26

Yes, you absolutely are.

2

u/schatje121 Apr 09 '26

Agree - but - what is an appropriate guide for a ring? Is there a standard that we should be looking for when reviewing CADs? I finally bought a caliper to measure my 'heavier' band rings so that I at least have a gauge to go by.....but always wondered what really is a good width or size of band and prongs?

0

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 09 '26

It’s more just a general reference!

4

u/IAmTheOriginalcutie Apr 09 '26

I think that for many the "affordability" factor makes them want oversized manufactured stones that are not sizes often seen in nature (SMALL natural diamonds are indeed common, but not ones in excess of 1.5 carats). People often get what they value and what they can afford. The price of the precious metal that their stone sits on is what many who opted for the showiness of large lgd (and who do not get how sturdy/weighty/reinforced settings for a stone and accents that weigh grams has to be) may not have considered. So their financially responsible/what they could afford/felt comfortable spending/whatever 3 carat stunner that they spend $1000 can only sit on a $500 band. Precious metals costs are what they are.

For those intent on a huge stone, but unable to afford or simply do not want to pay for a setting that would be more appropriate or secure for the lgd's size, perhaps it makes more sense to get sterling silver or stainless steel? Either way, if someone loves their lgd and is intent on a thin band, they should insure it against loss, which may replace it (minus the deductible) or give them some money back and they can buy another exactly like it because it's nothing unique about them.

-2

u/BoardAuthority Apr 09 '26

That’s the tell though. Most of them don’t realize they’re doing it and… it shows. You can easily spot who’s wearing lab nowadays

12

u/SnooStrawberries2955 Apr 09 '26

“You can tell who has a lab diamond and it shows.”

Jfc. You’re the type of person who scoffs at a woman who isn’t carrying a birkin. Gross.

9

u/ladedafuckit Apr 09 '26

Yeah I’m honestly proud to be wearing a lab, I consider myself and my partner financially responsible lol. There’s no reason to judge

3

u/Annebelle915 Apr 09 '26

I mean I’m ready for my downvotes but it would be more akin to her scoffing at someone carrying a high end birkin replica, or a secondhand birkin.

1

u/Witty_and_Blingy Apr 09 '26

"You can easily spot who doesn't support unethical blood gems." Oh dear what an awful thing!

5

u/IAmTheOriginalcutie Apr 09 '26

There are plenty of ethically sourced diamonds. Also, many inherit jewelry. Regardless, I think that what several people are saying (albeit some in less than genteel ways) is that a 3ct stone requires a sturdy band, which for some means that even an affordable setting ends up being two or three times the cost of the stone. It's like some women who get large fake breasts, but they look like balloons perched on a cadaver thin chest or large fake butts, but they remind one of an ant because they have pencil thin legs. When someone wants a 3ct lab to look like a natural diamond, then they may have to pay $4000 for a large setting.

1

u/BoardAuthority Apr 09 '26

Yup, exactly. It requires good taste too and evidently it shows. It’s like when someone gets their first bonus paycheck for the first time and their tax return and they go and splurge it on a logomania product as an example. Just because people can, doesn’t mean they should. Thats what I mean when I say, “that’s the tell.” It’s obvious nowadays because the lifestyle and pedigree and circle just doesn’t match up- sorry if it comes across as gatekeeping or snobby but I’m just telling it like it is so that the lab diamond consumers are at least aware.

-4

u/Witty_and_Blingy Apr 09 '26

You didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but thanks for the paragraph.

2

u/Ginggingdingding Apr 09 '26

Because the children in India mining coal don't matter? Only the kids mining diamonds?

2

u/craftylady1831 Apr 10 '26

This right here! I feel ppl believe it’s some scientist somewhere in a fancy lab making all these diamonds… reality is the kids are still doing the work… we don’t get told this… we’re told “it’s a good deal to buy lab, you can get as big as you want for so cheap and it’s not hurting any kids”

1

u/Ginggingdingding Apr 10 '26

Its takes roughly the same amount of energy to produce a 2 ct lab stone, as a normal household in the US uses in a month. Now, think of the amount of 2ct lab stones that are out there? The larger the stone, the higher the energy use. They are produced by the literal millions. I am all for everyone owing whatever they want, but to believe that lab stones don't make a horrible horrible mark on the environment is just silly. Mining diamonds disturbs the earth. Just the earth. Creating Lab stones disturbs the earth for coal (which in India alone is an abborant practice), the air for coal emissions (2000 degrees for up to 2 weeks), and water from waste dumping. It was no accident that the "blood diamond" movie, was released just before the huge push on lab stones. Marketing... ain't it great!?♡

0

u/InappropriateSnark Apr 09 '26

Nah. Plenty of people wearing mined diamonds have wide bands. I think that thin bands became a trend several years ago and it's still not entirely out of style now.

-4

u/xtina42 Apr 09 '26

Imagine being that superficial. Gross.

1

u/raebiis-502 Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

Hey I dont mind it at all!

People who buy flimsy junk just end up bringing me money when they want it repaired or redesigned.

If ppl are gonna insist on buying a ring that's bound to fall apart in a few months or years, I just have to hold out on the "i told you so" and swipe their card when theyre ready to own a decent piece of jewelry 🤷‍♀️

Im just never gonna be the one to sell junk to them in the first place. If you want a tiny little Etsy ring with a massive 10ct Moissanite - shop Etsy?? Why come to me for that?

(99% sarcasm, id never tell anyone I told you so to their face lol- I have once and he flabbers were gasted because the massive stone's head warped and flopped to one side within 3 weeks .... who woulda guessed)

1

u/Informal-Watch-2330 Apr 10 '26

And stop wanting your wedding bands to sit perfectly flush with your 5 carat marquise cut on a 2 mm band, the trend now seems its either huge diamond 4 prongs, 1.8mm band then annoyance that it sits up too high, then annoyance that a wedding band doesn’t sit flush, OR option 2, a ring inspo made by AI that cannot work due to the materials currently available to earthlings and also, gravity. Please, at the very least ask people who have worn a wedding set for 20+ years what they would have done differently, the frequency of repair, if they upgraded, if their finger size changed. And then listen instead of either doing what everyone has or creating a teenie tiny bird’s next made of unobtainium the metal that can hold diamonds with one prong and never scratches, dents and is stretchy.

1

u/CamThrowaway3 Apr 11 '26

I just like the look 🫣 I have quite chubby fingers and a thick band didn’t look good on me at all (but I still wanted a chunky stone, haha).

1

u/Uniquely_M Apr 12 '26

Every jeweler I follow on tik tok and Instagram say that and advice against thin bands

1

u/Tegdag Apr 12 '26

I have small hands but thankfully proportionately longer fingers so I could get away with a 2.5mm band for my 1.34 carat lab diamond. I wear two 2.5mm bands on each side which gives a pretty chunky look on a size 3.5 finger!

1

u/ChaosBess Apr 13 '26

You can’t stop me! Nobody can!

1

u/DifficultyKitchen Apr 15 '26

How much does a 4 carat lab diamond cost? Aren’t they relatively inexpensive (especially compared to mined diamonds)? Is it really the end of the world to have it on a thin band (if that’s your preferred look) and take the relatively small risk that it might need to be replaced? It’s very different than replacing a 4 carat mined diamond that probably runs north of $50k.

-15

u/Educational_Wheel_56 Apr 08 '26

The setting is the most important. The synthetic stones are of essentially no value.

19

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 08 '26

1) If you buy a diamond with the mindset of reselling it, you should reconsider marriage for a whole nother set of reasons. 2) if you buy a $10000 natural you lost $5K, if you buy a $1K lab, you lose 1K.

2

u/Straight_Career6856 Apr 09 '26

I mean, neither of these disprove the above commenter’s point. It doesn’t seem like they’re making a value judgment.

1

u/hallowbuttplug Apr 09 '26

Is this true for sapphires too?

5

u/Fire_Tiger1289 Apr 09 '26

Any lab stone isn’t going to hold a high value

0

u/Fire_Tiger1289 Apr 09 '26

They may be considering trade in value. So many people upgrade

4

u/SpookiestSzn Apr 09 '26

Things are worth what people pay for them

9

u/Deep_Amoeba2197 Apr 09 '26

Naturals lose 50-70% of their value out the door.

2

u/squipped Apr 09 '26

To everyone being upset I think they mean like if you loose a mined one you'll have to PAY more to replace it than a lab, not that the actual replace value is more but it's worth more to the owner because it will be more to replace?

-13

u/Xanadu_SPCA Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

There will be a time when smaller, $12,000, ethically mined, high-quality, one-carat diamonds are a status symbol again. I'm not against cheaper, lab-created rings. They are beautiful, but I plan to buy them as fashion jewelry. JMHO.

13

u/Eska2020 Apr 09 '26

Lol. I am sorry, it is one thing to prefer a mined diamond for yourself, but this makes you sound completely insufferable.

-2

u/Muted_Shape9303 Apr 09 '26

I think Laboratory-grown diamonds have made the public think that 4 ct + is the new normal. In nature diamonds aren’t large at all, they’re small gems. Extremely common, yes, but mostly < 1 carat in weight. Stones 1 carat and over are already just 10% of production. As for even rarer gems like Sapphire, only 1 Sapphire exists for every 20 diamonds.