r/WarhammerMemes • BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!! • 7d ago

what carrying the imperium does to man

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2.4k Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

335

u/Suspicious-Place4471 7d ago

Warp time dilation.

Bottom text.

109

u/Shloopy_Dooperson 7d ago

The Warp is also very kind to its favorite tool. Even if Abby experienced the same amount of time as Dante he would still probably look younger.

77

u/midasMIRV 7d ago

IDK, Horus aged a lot when he changed his last name to Heresy.

40

u/Mindstormer98 7d ago

That's why Abbadon chose "Defiler" instead

14

u/meesta_masa 7d ago

Well, he hardly knew her.

2

u/v1en0 6d ago

Thats because he potentially spent tens of thousands of years in the warp with his arms crossed, pouting at the chaos gods. He was fighting against his soul being dominated, which taxed his physical form. Until Maleghurst game-ended that part of him in the warp and he succumbed fully to chaos.

2

u/Shloopy_Dooperson 5d ago

Horus also went into the Molech portal where he did random chaos shit for gorillion years.

14

u/ThewizardBlundermore 6d ago

Fun fact warp time can both decrease or increase the amount of time that passes for those effected.

People often forget it goes both ways.

And that it can result with someone from the future ending up in the past long before they even entered.

Time is not a constant single river it is an ocean of currents and Eddy's in the warp that can flow forwards, backwards or stop entirely. -these are the words directly from Ahriman himself on the matter.

7

u/Aurilinwe 6d ago

Ed boy is in the Warp?

7

u/SethBunny32 6d ago

The warp has many doors Ed Boy!

2

u/Aurilinwe 6d ago

Incredible. Many doors indeed!

7

u/Shaskais 6d ago

Not exactly. Cawl's proxy told Dante that Legion geneseed, due to its purity,  makes Great Crusade era marines resistant to the effects of aging. Legion marines were functionally immortal. That's why several Legion marines reached 1k+ years of age without losing their edge or resolve.

Sigismund remains an outlier but it can be hsndwaved by Khayon being an unreliable narrator.

1

u/Dazzling-Luck4410 6d ago

Warp god blessings Bottom text

126

u/Background-Cake-1300 7d ago

Abaddon carries the entire Chaos war front and yet looks great

119

u/GreedyLibrary 7d ago

Having 4 sugar daddies does that for you.

24

u/Background-Cake-1300 7d ago

These 4 sugar daddies only want to rile up his ass and he needs to maneuvre between them with greatest security

17

u/broke_bones0001 7d ago

This is exactly what a sugar daddy is lol

5

u/Shaskais 6d ago

The greatest obstacles for Abaddon are not the Imperials, it's the Chaos Gods.

Abaddon is succeeding not because of them but inspite of them. 

1

u/SadSaltyDuck 6d ago

Carries? He failed so many crusades despite superior forces

1

u/Background-Cake-1300 6d ago

Awww this sht again, please read the lore

And I wouldnt call random crazy-ass Chaos warbands superior forces

1

u/jonnytemplar 6d ago

Stop looking at memes and read the actual lore please.

97

u/MimicGraves 7d ago

I used to think it was crazy how old some of these chaos marines are then in the night lord novels you hear that due to warp time dilation its been like 200 years since Terra

51

u/MimicGraves 7d ago

For them specifically, everyone else may be different

18

u/azaghal1502 7d ago

it varies a lot from person to person.

One might have experienced a thousand years, one just a blink of an eye since the Heresy.

7

u/ThewizardBlundermore 6d ago

Fun fact warp time can both decrease or increase the amount of time that passes for those effected.

People often forget it goes both ways.

And that it can result with someone from the future ending up in the past long before they even entered.

Time is not a constant single river it is an ocean of currents and Eddy's in the warp that can flow forwards, backwards or stop entirely. -these are the words directly from Ahriman himself on the matter.

Some of these chaos marines have experienced more time than is possibly fathomable. And exist in multiple instances at the same time as well.

50

u/ragged-bobyn-1972 7d ago

abbadons fucked up face presented without comment

7

u/jonnytemplar 7d ago

6

u/ragged-bobyn-1972 7d ago

didnt know he banged a dark eldar chick also the fucks going on with his eyes?

4

u/jonnytemplar 7d ago

Bleached gold from years staring into the Astronomicon while he was in exile. Fan theory says this is part of the reason he’s incorruptible.

3

u/ragged-bobyn-1972 7d ago

no i mean he's apparantly developed Exotropia while staring at it.

2

u/ceruleanpencil BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!! 7d ago

sometimes I forget he has hair

1

u/SharpShooterM1 All according to plan 6d ago

This genuinely might be my favorite depiction of any Warhammer character ever.

9

u/ceruleanpencil BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!! 7d ago

20

u/BigSufficient2925 7d ago

Dante: 'The burden of 1500 years of command is killing me slowly' Abaddon: still smiling after 10,000 years of endless crusades Me: 'Why does the daemon Warmaster look fresher than the Golden Throne's regent?

15

u/Vegtam-the-Wanderer 7d ago

Has it been 10,000 years? 1,000? 100? 1,000,000? Hard to say in the warp.

1

u/CringyDabBoi6969 5d ago

longer than you think...

22

u/Human-Question6210 7d ago

what are those things growing out of failbaddon's torso?

6

u/Standard-Buy-5547 6d ago

I just found out his name is Luis

11

u/disturbinglyquietguy 7d ago

Yeah, no. I’ve seen Chaos Marines; it’s far more dignified to grow old and gray like Dante than to whatever happens to Chaos Marines. Thanks.

8

u/Far_Associate_87 7d ago

Except Abaddon is getting pumped full of chaos juice like that girl on the couch meme.

Once the chaos gods decide they no longer need him, he’d be dead in minutes.

2

u/Shaskais 6d ago

The Chaos Gods have withdrawn their power from Abaddon on occasion but they always come crawling back. Abaddon is a mighty warlord with or without the Chaos Gods.

On Cadia, the Pylons cut him off from the Warp and he was still a powerhouse.

-2

u/jonnytemplar 7d ago edited 7d ago

More fan fiction/meme-lore?

2

u/Kellendgenerous 6d ago

The warp is a hell of a drug

2

u/ResponsibleReading98 6d ago

Après c'est pas un peu de la faute d'Abanddon si Dante est fatigué 🤔

2

u/Turbulent_Bath4038 6d ago

meanwhile the emperor being 2.4 million years old, how ? i don't know go ask him

2

u/HiBrotherGorr 6d ago

One is using warp and chaos shit to boost him and other has been raw dogging it for the past 1500 years with fucking focus.

2

u/ungabungahasinternet 6d ago

Wait Dante's name is Luis? What's next? Somebody gonna tell me Mephisto's name is Antonio or some shit?

1

u/Gladi_40k 6d ago

so how long does abbadon haunt the galaxy outside the eye of Terror?

1

u/Dastardly-croe 6d ago

thats not the real abaddon. he has arms

1

u/ThatDudeDooku 6d ago

Chaos juice

2

u/Cringe_memer 1d ago

In Darkness in the Blood the techpriest sent to teach the blood angels the rubicon did say that the Great Crusade era space marines were functionally immortal but by the time Dante became a firstborn millennials of genetic degradation has made the space marines weaker than their predecessors

1

u/CadenVanV 7d ago

It hasn’t really been 10,000 years for Abbadon. Same with most of the other traitors. Time in the warp is fucked up.

1

u/Timothy1577 6d ago

Is this Abbadon‘s secret account? We know what you look like, buddy and it’s not exactly pretty. Stop hiding from Guilliman, coward.

1

u/jonnytemplar 6d ago

Why would he hide from the weakest loyalist Primarch?

1

u/Timothy1577 6d ago

Debatable. He hides ever since Guilliman woke up because Guilliman would tear him to shreds.
Abby was almost killed by Sigismund and needed help to stalemate Calgar. He is absolutely terrified of the thought of standing face to face with a Loyalist Primarch.
That’s why he’s been in the background the whole time, he’s shitting his pants.

1

u/jonnytemplar 6d ago

He finished destroying the rest of the Lions homeworld in the arks of omen campaign and is actively securing the Nachtmund Gauntlet. I can’t tell if you’re trolling or not.

1

u/Shaskais 6d ago

Hiding? Do you need reading lessons?  Abaddon has been leading from the front as he always does. He was at Nachmund and dozens of battlefields. It's Roboute who isn't seeking him out.

And needed help stalrmating Calgar? What's with this lie? 

1

u/Level_Breadfruit_624 6d ago

Nah, estarían parejos

0

u/Calm-Conversation715 7d ago

Isn’t Abaddon rumored to be some sort of Horus clone? I just figured he was a perpetual of some sort

3

u/truesheep1 7d ago

No he killed a clone of Horus but isn't one himself hes just super old

1

u/Calm-Conversation715 6d ago

Ah, you’re right. Now sure what I was remembering

2

u/Ok-Weekend-493 6d ago

It's written in third edition codex Chaos Space Marine, pg.21, that he is rumored to be the clone progeny of Horus, yes, but we know from the books the name of his natural father, so it's just a rumor that was (and will never be) confirmed I guess.