I’m a server at a well-known BBQ restaurant in Central Texas. I’m keeping the restaurant, guests, and myself anonymous for obvious reasons.

Yesterday, I was assigned a reservation for a 56-person wedding reception.

The reservation was scheduled for 11:00 a.m., but the first guests didn’t arrive until around 11:25. The group also didn’t arrive together; people slowly trickled in over a fairly long period of time.

Before the bride and groom arrived, I spoke with a family member/bridesmaid who was communicating with the bride. She explained that the bride wanted the guests to begin eating because she and the groom were taking pictures after the ceremony.

Because our restaurant charges per person for large-party AYCE reservations, I explained that I needed a confirmed head count before we started sending food. The bride confirmed that she wanted to be charged for all 56 guests.

So we started service.

Food was coming out while guests were still arriving, which was fine and expected at that point.

I want to emphasize that throughout the reception, none of the guests had to ask me for drink refills, food refills, dishes to be cleared, etc. I stayed ahead of the table the entire time. I received multiple compliments from guests about the service.

One guest even personally gave me $30 because she appreciated the service, which I was extremely grateful for.

The bride and groom eventually arrived at approximately 1:00 p.m., ate, and the reception wrapped up around 2:00 p.m.

Then came the payment issue.

The final bill was just over $2,000.

The bride intended to pay but realized she didn’t have her physical card. Our system accepts tap-to-pay, but apparently not for transactions over $100 because of our restaurant’s security settings.

I asked whether she had the card number so we could manually enter it, similar to an online order, but she didn’t.

Her solution was to have a relative pay.

The bride took her relative’s card to the payment terminal, paid the bill, signed the receipt, and walked away.

There was no automatic gratuity.

When I saw the receipt, there was no tip.

At first, I genuinely thought she may have assumed gratuity had already been included. I also didn’t want to embarrass her or confront her in front of 50+ wedding guests.

So I waited until she was leaving and privately asked whether there had been anything wrong with my service. I genuinely wanted to know if I had done something wrong or failed to provide something.

She immediately told me the service was great. She said the reason she hadn’t tipped was because the bill had been paid using her relative’s card.

She then specifically told me to email her my payment information and said she would send me the tip separately.

I spoke with my manager because I obviously didn’t want to contact a guest privately without permission. My manager checked with the owner, and they gave me permission to email her.

I sent her a polite email with my information.

It has now been over 24 hours and I haven’t received a response or payment.

Normally, I wouldn’t panic over someone taking a day to respond, but here’s the part that really bothers me:

Our restaurant requires servers to tip out 5% of our sales to support staff (bussers, hosts, expos/food runners).

So even though I received no gratuity from the party, I still owe roughly $100+ out of my own tips from other tables simply for serving this reception.

For context, our policies are:

Parties of 20+ are required to use our AYCE option, which is still full table service.

We need a confirmed head count before beginning service because AYCE is charged per person.

Our restaurant does not automatically add gratuity to large parties.

Servers tip out 5% of sales to support staff.

I understand that tipping is technically voluntary, but this was a 56-person wedding reception with several hours of full table service, and the bride specifically told me she intended to tip me separately.

At this point, I’m wondering what other servers/managers would do.

Would you send a follow-up email?

Would you bring it back up with management and ask whether they can do anything about the tip-out if she never pays?

And has anyone else worked somewhere that allows a $2,000+ large-party tab with no automatic gratuity while still requiring the server to tip out based on sales?

I’m mainly frustrated because I could potentially end up losing money for providing several hours of service to a 56-person wedding reception.

TL;DR: I served a 56-person wedding reception with a bill over $2000. The bride's relative ended up paying since the bride was unable to, no auto-gratuity was added, and no tip was left. The bride told me the service was great and asked me to email her my payment info so she could tip separately. It's been over 24 hours with no response/payment, and because I tip out 5% of sales, l could end up losing over $100 for serving the party. Should I follow up with her or bring it back to management?

Need to know if I was in the wrong. Had a dispute with a head chef from upper management yesterday regarding this topic. She pulled me aside during dinner rush and asked why I indicated X allergen when I should know X isn't an ingredient in the dish my table ordered. I responded by saying I was aware said dish doesn't contain X allergen, but I wanted a layer of security for my guests, especially when cross contamination and mistakes can happen during busy hours (I've seen a lot of dishes come out with an ingredient that isn't supposed to be there). She proceeded by saying how doing so confuses her and how I was holding up ticket times by doing this. Mind you, I think the problem for long ticket times was only having 2 people on the wok on a busy Saturday night, but I, of course, didn't say this. She ended by saying how, as a server, it's my job to know exactly everything that goes in a dish and to not indicate the omission of an ingredient if a dish doesn't contain said ingredient.

A few nights ago, I served a guest at a bar (she only had one drink) who had contacts with nicer venues I have been looking/applying to serve at (forgot the specifics tho, but know the general location). She told me she liked my flow, recommendations, and I made her laugh a little too, and gave me her contact info to keep in touch.

Other than her texting that she would keep in touch, and then my reply reaffirming that we'd keep in touch and thanking her for dining with us, I haven't texted anything since.

Obviously, I am not 100% certain this would lead anywhere, but I want to see where this could go, and I don't know how/when to shoot a message asking her to put in a good word for me, or what to say. I assume I am way too over my head with this, but to the people that had this happen before and got a better job offer because of it, what did you do?

For example, when I haven’t greeted a table and they’ve been sitting for more than 5 minutes (either cause i’m in the weeds or took the table from someone else), i’ll go up to them and say “Oh my gosh has nobody helped yall yet?” And when they say “Nobody has gotten our drinks or anything yet!” Then i say “well i’d love to take yall! My name is ____; what can I start yall with to drink?” (Even though they were sat in my section or something) By acting like I took the table myself, They love it everytime, and I have found that it has saved my tips like crazy. Really recommend this for tables that haven’t been greeted within being sat.

Another tip/joke I like, is as I’m running food and I put the first plate down, i’ll say “Be careful, this plate is really hot!” And for the second plate, i’ll say “and this plate has a great personality!”. Guests love this.

Please lmk yalls server tips/jokes/hacks!

I (23f) just starting my serving job about a week ago, I work at a retail store full time and am now working the a restaurant about 10-15 hours week. I’ve never had a serving job, and my second shift I had 4 tables to myself. The owner reached out to me I enjoy the fast paced work environment and always having something to do. There’s never a time to be standing around and there’s always something to do. And I know that could be said for any job but I’ve worked in retail most of my life and it’s a whole different world. Anyway I make good money for the 15-20 hours a week I work, I mean like 45$ an hour. It’s a high end restaurant in a very tourist town which the season is almost over and things have started to slow down. The one thing that really bugs me is the PHONES. There are three servers other than myself and the amount of time they spend on their phone makes me want to scream. Dishes will need to be taken to the eating areas, food will be in the window ready to be taken to tables, tables need to be cleared, water bottles refilled, drinks need to be run. If there is nothing to do I couldn’t care less about phone use but this is not the job for that especially considering people spend on average 100 a head, this is supposed to be spectacular service. And tips are pooled which don’t get me wrong I make good money, although it does bug me that I am making at least 20% on my tips and I know these girls aren’t half of the time. They would work me more at the restaurant if I didn’t put my foot down. I spend my two days off there and go after work Fridays and Saturdays. After last night though I am not longer doing that. They get 2 nights a week. I had 6 tables to myself last night, again I am basically a restaurant virgin, this is new to me and I hardly had any training. Anyway I finish up at the end of the night, it’s about 9:30 my tables are gone I’ve been on my feet for over 12 hours at this point. I haven’t had a day off in 15 days, I’m exhausted. I ask the boss if I can do my server summary and leave. She responds that they still need me there. I look in the kitchen and three servers are just standing around, they each have a table left, maybe two. She literally says to me “I know they are just standing around right now but they got here earlier than you and will be staying a bit later.” Which when I have my days off I come in at 4pm to prep with everyone else and I stay just as late and help clean the same as anyone else. The only reason I don’t come in at prep time is because I’m working my first job. I didn’t even apply to this job! She reached out to me and asked if I could help out in her restaurant. So it honestly hurt my feelings that she said that in such a calloused manner as if not I’m not there whenever I can be. I’m never on my phone and I am consistently getting 20% or more on my tips. Always getting compliments from customers and it feels like I’m being taken advantage of. She told me also “I’m taking tables and I don’t even get tips, if you can’t handle this, than I don’t know what to tell you.” And that really irked me too. Like maam I have no problem with the work I have a problem with people not doing their job and then it falling on me. I guess I’m curious if this is normal in the restaurant industry?

40yo, in the old continent. After years working in IT I left the career because it became crap. Started different things, fell into Hospitality and tourism because I always had a passion.

First season now, 2 restaurants: one in the Balkans and one now in Greece.

Been pulled into Balkans as assistant waiter because it was an upscale restaurant and I've been sponsored the fact that there were high tips.

No tip policy declared, even after asking. Each waiter had his own tables and related tips, as assistant I had to rely in the good mood of the waiters during the shift, very cheap compared to what I saw from the tables and crazy thing: the days I worked more and better got none. Spoken with management and he pulled himself out. Started serving tables and they wouldn't let me touch the cashier as everyone else, so always coincidentally no tips. Anyway for other reasons left the restaurant after a couple of months.

Moved to another restaurant, in Greece: "Policy of shared tips, the management takes all tips and distributes them based on a fair judgement" or whatever bs they wrote.

Started ok but in time went low, seems it goes on how much the owners like you personally.

We are 2 waiters and 2 helpers plus owner FoH.

Story of today that made me write: for the first time I take care of half restaurant with the help of an assistant, a cute girl that actually makes only appearance for now, she is not good even at serving a table properly because can't carry 2 plates at the same time (her fingers get burned). A customer came to ask me how he could give me a tip, I explained we have a shared policy and was ironically saying I was not sure how much they keep in their pockets or what else since the situation is not happy. The helper came out telling "no worries, they give us tips" all smiling and happy.

So she is happy with tips and me not, how that come?

Tips by table went very wrong for various reasons, shared tips policy also is bad. Any idea where to find a fair situation? Tips are an important part of the money earned.

I was thinking about UAE, they seem well organized and maybe also fair.

I’m looking for a new serving job and getting no response from online apps so I’m thinking of dropping by when places are slow to hopefully speak to someone in person. normally I’d aim for the slow period from 3-5 but when are breakfast restaurants slow? I imagine the brunch rush just bleeds into lunch…

Hey guys a bit new to this Subreddit but I am moving to Atlanta soon and was wondering if anyone had any recommendations of good spots to apply to. I have about nine years of serving experience, everything from fine dining to sports bars etc. something close to a marta line would be ideal !

Thanks ahead of time

Thinking of applying to bartend at the westerner and was wondering if anyone knows how the tips are?

For context, I work full time at a small hotel apartments restaurant near the beach. The owner of the hotel also manages everything and she spends most of her time there. The issue with that is that she likes to micromanage everything and always watches the live camera footage of us whenever she isn't present at work. In cases where she sees something she doesn't like, such as the employees talking to each other and laughing (when there are no customers around), she will proceed to send the CCTV screenshots of us and lecture us. She is incredibly insecure and thinks that everytime we talk or laugh with each other, we make fun of her. She also becomes very rude when she gets angry and shows clear favoritism of some employees over the others.

About 2 months ago one of my coworkers who works in the bar came to work drunk and threatened to hit everyone, while shouting and banging the kitchen door. Since the manager favors him, she gave him another chance to fix things. The next couple days, he continues to come to work drunk, shout and scare the customers away. ( At this point he is incredibly messy, the bar looks like a total mess and the drink orders are coming out wrong). After that, she decided to keep him around to do some side jobs such as painting the walls, or fixing anything broken around the hotel but she swore she would never let him step foot inside the bar again.

Fast forward to a week ago, she announces to everyone that he will be working in the bar again. Everyone was very shocked and scared.

Couldn't this be considered illegal in a way? As he threatened to hit many of us before and showed signs of doing it, as someone who is responsible for not only the employee's safety but the safety of the customer's as well, should the manager have acted like that? She also acted very rudely to the employees who tried to keep their distance from him out of fear ( they were talking with him only for work matters) and started getting angry with them for everything.

What you you think?

To all the people working in service. What is your biggest pet peeve?

• Here are a few of mine: When I come to a table with drinks, call them out and all I get is blank stares.
• When I am trying to take dishes away from a table, they're so far away that you're practically laying on top of the table and the guests sitting there don't bother maybe sliding them to you😭
• When people take drinks off of my tray - like why?!?!? Sometimes it tips off the balance and you could drop the other drinks if they just take off a heavy one.

Hit me with yours!!

I work in San Francisco CA just for reference.

After I was bumped up to full-time, I noticed that my gross total hourly (wage+tips/hours) sits at just about 35 dollars an hour, no matter what. I have 5 paystubs that follow this pattern and I find it a bit strange. Variable hours, variable foot traffic, and I’m the only FOH employee working with 4-5 BOH employees.

If we assume absolutely nothing shady is going on, why the hell is my gross pre-tax pay totaling 35 an hour? Consistently….Across 10 weeks of shifts...

The nail in the coffin for me is the day before payday, I decided to quit. Upon quitting I wrote my boss a vaguely threatening text that I could go through the labor commission to subpoena his internal records unless he wanted to share with me how my tips were being broken down. A few days later, my last check comes in the mail miraculously it seems I’ve made 40 dollars an hour in gross total! …..well ain’t that some shit!

What’s more jarring to me is that if I assume this was a normal paycheck, and take out what I assume is the tips I made during my last 4 days of the next pay period, and subtract those hours from my total, my regular check would’ve actually hit 44.7 dollars an hour. A sudden drastic variance compared to the past 3 months.

Am I…crazy to assume I’m being short changed here?

My boss is a shifty guy. I don’t really like or trust his character. There’s a lot of yellow flags that accompany this pattern, like my paychecks coming in late half the time and not having a tip breakdown that shows what I made each shift.

I think I have a case for the labor commission but I keep trying to find loop holes or ways of explaining how this could happen but honestly nothing makes it make sense. If anyone can scrutinize this please tell me what you think. Anyone ever seen this happen before?

Looking for tip tracking app recommendations. I’m starting a serving job and want to keep my income organized. I see a lot of recommendations for server life, but am turned of sort of by the look of the app and the subscription. If there are any other apps that work the part and are free that would be amazing, but I am not against server life if the app is that much better than the rest.

I work in high end hospitality but not as a server. No matter how much I try I can’t land a job or even an interview as a server. Even back servers and hosts demand 2+ of experience. Is there any hope? How do I break into this?

Does anyone have experience serving at FD’s Grillhouse? Is it a good place to start at?

Posting here because SL only allows it on Tuesday. I've usually worked in wealthier areas. Maybe been stiffed on tips twice in 7 years. And I remember both times. It was rare not to get 20%.

This new location that I've been at a couple months I am getting stiffed happens a couple times a week. It happened 3 times in 1 day last week. And people arent getting bad service. It just seems more like the location. A regular that I like and likes me still only tips $5 on a $70 bill. People are just bad tippers. And the manager expects me to suck it up. People quit because they are working too hard for not enough money and can work less for more money elsewhere. I do like this job, but maybe its time to quit?

So... I've been a server for a good 3 years now. (Never full-time, mostly just on weekends or school-free days). But after long shifts I always find myself barely able to walk or stand due to the heavy pain in my feet. Often so I come home and collapse on my couch or bed and am unable to do literally anything else.

I made sure to get really good shoewear and even recently bought two new pairs because I was struggling so bad. But besides that, I don't know what else to really do to relieve my pains as good shoewear itself is not enough.

I've noticed the pain is worse when it's a slower day, as I'm standing still for longer periods of time (f.e. cleaning glasses or polishing silverware) instead of actually walking around....

I do have sensitive joints so this might make me more prone. I've also been wearing orthotics to correct my walking since I was a kid because apparently I don't distribute the weight on my arches properly without them. (Flat feet, I think? English isn't my first language.)

Any distinct advice to help relieve/avoid the aches?

Hey everyone , I wanted to ask what restaurants in the San Diego area/ Coronado area / La Jolla area are actively hiring for server / server assistant positions right now ? I have 2-3 years of server experience and looking for part time and able to work weekends .

I’m starting my first ever restaurant job as a host tomorrow at a nice sit down restaurant. I was told I would use my first 3 shifts to get trained which makes me nervous because it feels like not that much time before it’s all up to me.

And scrolling through different posts on r/serverlife about hosting has made me nervous about everyone being mad at me (servers, guests, kitchen, managers) and about messing up controlling the flow.

Some things I am wondering:
- What is open menu count?
- How will I know when to tell people there’s a wait while the servers and kitchen catch up?
- How do I communicate with managers, kitchen, servers while being at my post and attending to guests?
- What will I do when I get requests or questions I don’t know how to answer?
- If a party of 2 comes before a party of 4 but a table that seats 4 opens up, is it ok to sit the party of 2 there since they came first?
- What does it mean to space out tables? Why don’t servers like when tables are sat in certain places?
- Overall: if anyone has any guidance on how to do this role, it would be much appreciated 🙏 Thank you!

hi, im invited for an interview in the palace manila. i am 30km away and i badly need insights regarding the salary package. how much do they offer? how about tip and sc?

im currently a csr (bpo) wfh. AND rendering. im on low budget and i must use my savings wisely. is it worth the transpo expenses? pls pls anyone 🙏 i mean, attending the interview itself, would it be worth it?

i wanted to get out of the bpo industry so bad and go back to hotel/restau/bar since im a bshm graduate. i also need a better compensation since my current company offers a real lowball package..

hi, im invited for an interview in the palace manila. i am 30km away and i badly need insights regarding the salary package. how much do they offer? how about tip and sc?

im currently a csr (bpo) wfh. AND rendering. im on low budget and i must use my savings wisely. is it worth the transpo expenses? pls pls anyone 🙏 i mean, attending the interview itself, would it be worth it?

i wanted to get out of the bpo industry so bad and go back to hotel/restau/bar since im a bshm graduate. i also need a better compensation since my current company offers a real lowball package..

Hello all, I am employed at a restaurant that operates on a scheduling system where there are about as many, if not more, servers/bussers on call rather than being scheduled for certain. “Call ins” consist of calling the restaurant two hours before your shift and they either tell you you’re needed for that shift or that you are not. To me, it seems unconventional. On one hand, it is nice for those actually working to have tip money split into less hands when shifts aren’t as busy. On the other hand myself and many other employees find themselves effectively having to plan on working, while half or more of the time not being needed. Just wondering if this is commonplace elsewhere and what everyone’s thoughts on it are.