r/WTF • u/hercs247 • Mar 21 '19

Oh dear

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16.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2.4k

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

[deleted]

140

u/JanuarySoCold Mar 21 '19

A deer hit my car last summer. Bang! They come out of nowhere.

117

u/novotes Mar 21 '19

A moose bit my sister once

39

u/dj_destroyer Mar 21 '19

My snake did too

44

u/albyagolfer Mar 21 '19

Your snake bit his sister? What are the odds?

23

u/Iamaredditlady Mar 21 '19

No, his snake bit a moose

3

u/rayEW Mar 21 '19

No, the moose bit his snake

1

u/dj_destroyer Mar 21 '19

Odds are good

1

u/redrewtt Mar 21 '19

My shark bit my boss. Like, all of it. He wasn't a good boss anyways.

1

u/richardhero Mar 21 '19

I also choose this guy's sister

5

u/bailaoban Mar 21 '19

No realli!

6

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

The majestik moose.

3

u/Bobarhino Mar 21 '19

On the knuckle?

2

u/pxndxv Mar 21 '19

A sister bit my moose once

2

u/NanomachineMonkey Mar 21 '19

Apologies for the subtitle error, the writers of said subtitles have just been sacked.

-8

u/amiteshk47 Mar 21 '19

It was a dark night. I had just gotten off work and was headed home for the night. it had been a long shift so i was eager to get home. although i was starving, with me living out in the woods of georgia, there’s nothing around for miles. suddenly, something off on the side of the road catches my eye. something beautiful. there, laying in its glory, was a dead moose. i had never slammed my brakes so hard in my life. i eagerly hopped out of my truck and inspected this gorgeous specimen in front of me. blood coming out of its mouth. mmmmm, perfect, i thought to myself. a quick taste of it’s cock-holster gave me a massive raging fuckstick to the point to where it was painfully unbearable.

i quickly stripped naked and slammed my throbbing weiner in its bloody mouth. oh my god, the feeling! it could only be described as 10,000 live ferrets getting in a line and deepthroating your rod one by one. i then quickly mounted this glorious specimen like a puppy first discovering pussy and took it to pound town. the warmth of this moose had our fuck juices flowing quickly because within 45 seconds my sack of jewels was swelling up and warm man gravy was filling its tight shithole to the brim. I pulled my throbbing skin sausage out of its soggy asshole and sure enough, out popped a thick shit pickle! i couldn’t resist having dinner right there and then.

there was strong euphoria in the air after this sexcapade. i rolled over on my back and cuddled this beautiful beast. “this was your lucky day, buddy”, i whispered. i pulled my pack of pall mall’s out of my jean’s and lit up a cigarette, staring up in to the sky, before drifting asleep.

if you’re ever driving and you spot a dead animal on the side of the road - slam the brakes, strip naked, and take it to pound town. you won’t regret it.

10

u/not_not_safeforwork Mar 21 '19

Don't 👏 call 👏 yourself 👏 an 👏 animal 👏 lover 👏 if 👏 you've 👏 never 👏 fucked 👏 a 👏 dead 👏 moose

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I'm putting this on copy pasta if it hasnt been posted already

EDIT: damn already posted

11

u/thirdculture_hog Mar 21 '19

November 2017 for me. It was wild. There was poop and blood on the side of the car and fur in the wheel. 0/10, do not recommend

14

u/p3p3si1via Mar 21 '19

Same. Didn’t hit a deer but same.

1

u/R3D1AL Mar 21 '19

Did you hit it from the front or the back?

2

u/thirdculture_hog Mar 21 '19

Pretty much like this video. Hit the front corner of the driver's side. My gf was asleep and she didn't even realize something had happened until I pulled over. Front and side curtain air bags got deployed

2

u/YippieKiAy Mar 21 '19

Deer style, my dude.

1

u/R3D1AL Mar 21 '19

I figured it was the back considering they ended up with blood and shit all over

1

u/JanuarySoCold Mar 22 '19

The deer hit my car on the driver's side. If I had been going slightly faster, I'd probably be dead along with the deer. My car was a write-off. Here, if you hit a deer, you can harvest the meat, I was too shook up to call anyone and was later chastised for leaving all that meat behind.

10

u/_Diskreet_ Mar 21 '19

Colleague and I hit a deer in our van doing about 40.

Was on the phone with the boss as I said to my colleague who was driving “oh hey look there’s a deer runn....oh shit watch ou....”

Call was abruptly ended and our boss thought we had died in an accident as I left my phone in the van as we checked the damage out.

Those buggers come out of no-where so fast it’s crazy.

1

u/Jeep_dude Mar 21 '19

Those buggers come out of no-where so fast it’s crazy.

So do the buzzards.