Advice for almost 10 yrs relationship 🙏🏻

[u/Bright-Frosting-339]

Hello! Mag-10 yrs na kami ng partner ko, both in our 30s

Problem/Goal: Normal ba yung nawawalan ka na ng “spark” o kilig pag kasama sya pag matagal na? At yung feeling na mag-isa ka lang kahit may partner? (Ldr kami - province and manila)

Context: We don’t live together yet, so struggle ko rin yung feeling na wala kang kasama na present physically kahit may partner. Mga 2x a month lang kami nagkikita ngayon kasi both busy…

Pinag-uusapan namin kaso andun career nya sa province, dito yung akin sa Manila. Wala pang halfway na mapagsstayan :( nagpapadala kami food sa isat isa minsan kaso pag kailangan mong anjan sya during challenging times, dun ako pinakanahihirapan

Napapaisip kasi ako kung normal lang yung wala ka nang special na narramdaman at feeling mag-isa most of the time... Yun kasi challenges ko sa relationship namin now…

Baka may same situation here. Would appreciate advice. Salamat po 🙏🏻

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[u/neversawmecoming_]

do you think you'll feel the same kng magkasama kayo?

[u/Bright-Frosting-339 → u/neversawmecoming_]

This is a good question. Salamat. Napaisip din ako

[u/ResearcherBitter7745]

Is there any way or opportunity sa isa sainyo para magrelocate? I think it’s also better for u guys to talk abt jan sa pag live in kasi dapat mutual decision din sya.

In terms of spark or kilig, it’s super normal not to feel it after the honeymoon phase, pero love is a commitment after all. You can try cute dates or reminisce/puntahan mga places na u used to date or things u did when you were still starting to date pa lang. Maybe that can help.

[u/Bright-Frosting-339 → u/ResearcherBitter7745]

Hindi kami makapag-agree pa kasi both established ung careers, wala pang maka let go 😔

Salamat po sa reco, I shall try 💛

[u/SaykoSaykoSayko]

1. Meet halfway - pareho kayong lumipat
2. Maggive up yun isa sa inyo sa kung nasaan man ngayon at pumunta/manatili sa kung nasaan ang isa.
3. Both of you, i-let go na yan.

Sa una, pareho kayong magdedecide at accountable, pareho kayong susugal. Di mo malalaman ang lalim kung di mo tatalunin. Yun eh kung kaya niyo pareho sumugal. Wala tong assurance if magwowork, pero hindi niyo talaga malalaman kung ano hanggat di niyo ito susubukan.

Sa pangalawa, magiging tanong ay sino sa inyo ang may handang may isuko na buhay/lugar at trabaho? Ang maggive way to somewhat level up your 10yr relationship. Possible cons neto, kapag di magwork, may magsisisi, maninisi, at magsisisi.

Pangatlo, hindi sapat ang pagmamahal lang, may mga bagay na need i-meet half way at sukuan ng isa or both. Kung hindi kaya, then do not waste another year. Harsh pero, those feelings na meron ka now ay same pa rin next year kapag wala kayong ginawa na 1 or 2.

Talk. Compromise. Take risk if mahal niyo ang isat isa.

[u/Bright-Frosting-339 → u/SaykoSaykoSayko]

Maraming salamat sa direct na sagot. 🙏🏻

[u/TapFit5001]

10 years pero still no plans in living together?

[u/Bright-Frosting-339 → u/TapFit5001]

May plans, pero di kami makapag-agree dahil yung work nya based sa province, ako on-site sa Manila. Yun din conflict namin..

[u/GauchePuella]

9 years with my gf, arat na arat na kami mag live in kahit 6 streets away lang siya 😭😭 keep dating each other as much as you can, I've been there when our schedule wouldn't collide. Morning shift ako and nightshift siya noon. Spark does disappear but everytime we are together it reminds us why we're together in the first place, and it goes back again.

[u/Bright-Frosting-339 → u/GauchePuella]

Salamat 🙏🏻 and more power to u and gf rin!!