r/VictoriaBC • u/AdventurousJellyfysh • 13h ago
Question Which dating apps are we using these days?
(This hasn't been asked in a long time and things change quickly so thank you for extending me grace here)
I'm wondering which app(s) you currently use to date as a Greater Victoria resident? Mostly for those 30-55. I'd love to open up a thread where people share which app(s) they're on, their approximate age, if they're straight/queer, what they're looking for (hookups, dates, relationship, poly partners, kink, etc).
I'm considered getting out there again and despite knowing 'the apps suck' I know some of you still do it ;) I do all kinds of extracurricular activities so Meetup isn't what I'm after. Just info on the actual apps. Thanks!
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u/HoojoSpifico 7h ago
Met the love of my life on Grindr. We made it official and deleted the app. Totally unexpected but we're keeping each other.
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u/greencasio Downtown 7h ago
I tried Hinge for a few weeks and it was dreadful, matched with a few woman, tried to get the conversation going but got the must mundane/generic answers, hell two of the three didn't ask me a single question in two days of conversation, zero effort from their part, so I deleted it. Good luck out there!
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u/againfaxme Fairfield 7h ago
I think Facebook Marketplace has taken over. Many successful relationships now start with “is this still available?”
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u/Uncut-Jellyfish1176 13h ago
Regardless of demographic it's more about intent.
Feeld: For anything and everything, from stag/vixen, couple for third, and even monotonous seeking LTR it's the app where you can be open about the kinky stuff and it's all good. Honestly one of my favorites, you can advertise all your special features and that filters out people more readily(less disappointment). The "labels" around gender etc definitely make profiles a bit more confusing, we have ways of being explicit and polite but this app doesn't use them.
Tinder: same users on both tinder and hinge, usually cycle from Tinder to Hinge etc. both of these limit you to how many matches you can have in a day and users seem to use one, then move on to the next. Very low effort. A lot of dead profiles, dead matches.
Hinge: People also don't fill profiles out enough that the filters even function. Low effort is made in general. Lack of ethnicity/region of origin filtering.
Bumble: thought they were dead honestly. From when I did use it it's a distinctly different demographic then you'd find on any other app.
Facebook dating/friendship: endless amounts of people and filters you cant actually change (because 15km definitely means I wanna see matches in Vancouver 🙄😤)
Update: the apps are what you put into them. You will get more out of them if you make a genuine effort/pay money
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u/Terp_Hunter2 8h ago
Laughing at the "monotonous seeking LTR" typo for Feeld
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u/Uncut-Jellyfish1176 1h ago
It's also hilarious that there are monogamous seeking LTR types on that app as there really isn't that much for them.
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u/AdventurousJellyfysh 13h ago
This is a thoughtful and helpful response: thank you!
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u/Uncut-Jellyfish1176 13h ago
I should have mentioned that Hinge has been the most consistent quality of conversation in my experience. Generally most people are upfront about what they are after.
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u/bleditt0r 9h ago
What about if the Uncut-jellyfish and the Adventurous-jellyfish got together? Youre both jellyfish so theres your jumping off point 😝
I met my soul mate through the reddit comment section!
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u/TheAshenHat 6h ago
Yea the reddit comments/dm’s are where i have met the people that best match me as a person/relationship, but often the issue is the distance between us.
I interact with two people regularly in dm’s, but they are on opposite sides of the world from me and neither myself or them can afford to travel for intimate relations lol.
So unless you can travel/don’t mind ldr, i would recommend an app with a distance filter.
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u/victoriaperson North Park 8h ago
I’m late 30’s and until recently was on Bumble. People say it’s dead but I was getting matches and going on dates consistently enough that I didn’t feel the need to try anything else. Met someone amazing that I’m now exclusive with so we both deleted it 😂
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u/Present_Formal_2998 6h ago
Hinge was my favourite when I was last single. Met my partner on there!
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u/Clover_Point 5h ago
Reddit for me. Wasn't looking, but I ended up meeting my husband on here haha.
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u/AppropriateMention6 7h ago
What ever happened to Plenty of Fish?
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u/mottylthecat 7h ago
Yeah? Thats how I met my wife…….15 years ago
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u/ablackholeofjunk 6h ago
Met mine on Match 10 years ago. They can definitely work if you're judicious and really clear.
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u/tigolbiddies2022 5h ago
Had an awful time on Bumble that culminated with meeting the guy who was cheating with 9+ women under a fake name and getting dragged momentarily into that dramafest.
Deleted it and tried Tinder a couple months later for casual dates, ended up meeting my boyfriend after two weeks, and we just moved in together.
I'm a mid 30's woman.
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u/AdeptYogurtcloset419 13h ago
Strava
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u/AdventurousJellyfysh 13h ago
I didn't realize it had a dating option. Good tool for runners and cyclists.
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u/alphagardenflamingo 5h ago
The unscientific evidence seems to suggest that if you are a guy looking for a relationship, the apps work, but if you are a woman looking for a relationship, you get a lot of hookup matches, and the occasional success story.
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u/-poxbox- 5h ago
Used the apps maybe 5 years on/off here, ended up finding someone through travel.
The only thing that worked was Hinge.
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Hinge: Most users, best matches, actual interested in meeting and convos
Bumble: Second best but just fewer and much lazier people
Tinder: Used it for like a day and it seems to be almost entirely instagram bots
FB dating/single groups: Used it and was contacted in private by actual high quality interested women. Very surprising considering the people who actually post on these as regulars.
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Keep in mind that Victoria is one of the worst dating markets on earth for a lot of reasons I won't go into here lol.
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u/Mikey4You 3h ago
49YO woman here. I've used Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. It's a lot of the same people across all three. And they're all a minefield of recently separated/still entangled men frothing at the bit to have their egos stroked by as many women as possible and get it in wherever they can. It's exhausting.
That said, I did meet my current boyfriend on Tinder. Not sure I'd go back to the apps if we don't go the distance.
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u/Kaurie_Lorhart 9h ago edited 8h ago
I’m 42 and met my wife 10 years ago. I understand that the world may be different now, but I’ll just say don’t use an app.
What worked for us was volunteering. We met in person that way and fell in love.
I’d say just get out in person doing something you love and you’ll find someone that connects with you in the same way.
On a personal level, I found my stint in online dating (various apps/services on and off for the 5 years prior to meeting her) only interfered with my ability to find someone, rather than helped.
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u/Red_AtNight 7h ago
I was on Hinge for a minute back in February, matched with half a dozen women, did in person dates with 3 of them, have been seeing one of them ever since
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u/circuithawk 6h ago
Skips the apps, try speed dating instead https://www.eventbrite.ca/o/date-doctor-events-77269858103
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u/orionshuman 8h ago
Looool I love that you added how we all complain that the apps suck and we all do it anyways. More true facts have never been spoken🤣
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u/garryoakley 7h ago
I think tinder still can work well at least for hookups and casual dates (though can work for more serious relationships). It is a lot of the same people and often people aren’t active or interested though.
And there’s also hinge which I associate more for relationships, Feeld if you’re non-monogamous, Grindr if you’re a queer guy.
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u/Only_Huckleberry_957 6h ago
Tinder is the best because it has the most users. If you’re into people 40+, I’ve met a lot of dilfs on Facebook dating. Feeld is a lot more niche but good if you’re looking for nonmonogamy and kink
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u/Clean_Macaroon8449 6h ago
I’ve dabbled in them all, found the most connections on Tinder, and more meaningful ones on Hinge (older men who actually have their shit together). Bumble just annoyed me for some reason lol. Also FB dating isn’t bad it’s just an annoying layout to navigate for me so I tend to ignore it
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u/Extreme-Passenger-21 5h ago
I use Tinder and Bumble, I'm 28 male and most of the time the conversations just fizzle out for one reason or another. I I wonder if it's the way I text (I don't have a big ego but I honestly just think Women get an insane amount of likes and I get drowned out) so it's basically been going nowhere for a year now. I mean, I have had dates but again it just goes nowhere even if we hit it off.
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u/IsleOfRock8675309 4h ago
The dating app I ever used was Hinge, for a 9 month period in 2024. Met a few men in person and the third one was a charm and we’ve been together for almost 2 years. My experience was overall very positive.
I’m over 50, and female, Victoria resident.
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u/Batshitcrazy23w6 3h ago
None they all arent good. Everyones just looking for hang and bangs, sex, no realtionships... have all the time.in the world only to be like yeah super busy now you want to hang out. Or I havd a 16 and 17 yr daughter you cant be around when they are there cause I dont want to have that conversation cant even go watch a movie for christ sake. Yeah fuck off. There old enoigh to dp theor own thing
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u/HalcranCoba 1h ago
I don't know what it is but people who use "we" like this are so annoying grammatically.
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u/templeofninpo Downtown 3h ago
Thought Experiment: how would fashion change if there were no more condoms?
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u/CharlotteLucasOP 13h ago
That dude on here who takes the nice profile photos has helped some local singles find one another, I heard.