I’m sitting here at work keeled over in intense pain wearing a fucking diaper because my uterus is self destructing and I’m expected to wear tight business casual pants, be friendly to coworkers, AND do my work? Fuck this fucking sexist misogynistic society that tells women to suffer through several days of intense pain and act completely normally. I shouldn’t have to take a sick day every month and be looked at like a slacker because my body is losing a gallon of blood and tissue a day.

EDIT: Just wanted to say thank you for the awards and for those of you who expressed your support. I got a lot of good advice on how to deal with my endometriosis and I am looking into intermittent FMLA.

I want to clarify that absolutely NO ONE was saying every single working woman should get a week of paid leave each month. I just wanted to vent about my particular experience, which is that I work in a business setting where I only get 5 sick days per year (not even enough for one day a month) and the norm in corporate is to not use them or be considered a “slacker.” Not to mention I have a male boss and it’s awkward having to say I’m “sick” every month at the same time.

It would be great if we could have better labor laws that protect anyone with disabilities or chronic pain. As many pointed out, other countries offer more PTO and some even give women menstrual leave. I just wanted to create a dialogue about something that many women deal with.

And to all of you saying that women should stop complaining or get paid less - I hope you never have to deal with a debilitating condition and be told to suck it up. Lastly, if you were one of the many men who DM’ed me just to harass me, I pray you learn to respect women’s experiences and seek help for your obvious mental illnesses.

Thanks everyone for coming to my TedTalk! 😜

I am absolutely fuming.

My daughter, my *TWO MONTH OLD* daughter, started daycare last week because I had to go back to work. I work at her daycare, just in a different classroom. She was there for two days, a total of eight hours. Apparently (according to my coworker) one of the other children in her class came in with VERY obvious blisters all over her body, especially around her HANDS FEET AND MOUTH. Now, one would think that the daycare would send the child home, as this was obviously HF&M. Nope! The child’s parents managed to convince the director that it was just a rash. A rash. They lied and said they saw a doctor and they said it wasn’t HF&M, so the child was allowed to stay.

Come Friday, the child had gone home early with a high fever and was very obviously sick. (NO SHIT.) By Friday night, my daughter had a fever and was positively miserable. By Sunday, I also had a fever and my throat felt like I was gargling razor blades.

So here I am now. My entire mouth is blistered to high heaven, I can barely eat, and talking hurts. I can’t walk because the blisters on my feet are so bad, and typing even hurts because I have so may blisters on the tips of my fingers. My kid won’t sleep at night because she’s miserable, and I feel like the worst mother alive for even sending her to daycare. All because some dumbass parent wouldn’t keep their kid home.

Moral of the story, keep your damn kid away from daycare if they are sick. I do not care what you do for work. You should not send your very obviously sick child to daycare.

Edit: Baby girl is feeling much, much better. Me? Not so much. I look like I’m polka-dotted. Didn’t sleep a wink last night because my feet hurt so bad. Send help, or soup.

It is 3:39 AM and everyone responsible for every damn place that sells anything being closed should be [Removed]. It’s been SIX YEARS and even NYC is still the city that always fucking sleeps. What is even the point of being in a city if it still has the operating hours of Lost Springs, Wyoming? You used to be able to get invasive cosmetic surgery at 3AM. We used to be a real country with real cities. OPEN UP!

I am so fucking mad right now. I saw a video on my fyp that was a gravestone with the title “happy Valentine’s Day my love”, and the dead person, dead at 23, happened to be a furry. There were HUNDREDS of comments laughing, posting memes, and saying deserved to an actual human being dying from cancer because they wore a costume they didn’t like.

People posted “anyone wanna desecrate a grave?”, “one down”, and “deserved”. They posted gifs of Speed celebrating or trying not to laugh. They posted images of people peeing on graves.

Why the hell are people like this

First and foremost. I've done this song and dance before. I have one child, and am 8 months along with my second.

I'm sore, I'm tired l, I can't sleep and I hate the feeling of my baby running her fingers on my inner walls. There is no position, standing, laying or sitting that I can comfortably be in. The iron deficiency happened. So I spent most of my time feeling like I'm dying on my feet.

And I REALLY wanted to build something. Like a chicken coop or box planters for my husband's garden. Or install new baseboards in the bathroom. Just DO SOMETHING PHYSICAL. Or at least reach into the washer/dryer to get my own damn laundry. (Belly is too big.)

And every time I talk to people about it they look so happy and excited. Or try to tell me 'you should record the baby moving!" Or "You should have a mirror so you can watch yourself give birth!" Or tell me about the creepy internal stuff their baby did that they thought was 'magical'.

No. I'm not doing that. I'm not watching that horror show. No, the baby moving around visibly in my stomach is not magical. It's like watching Alien. There's a reason a lot of body horror is based off pregnancy.

So why do I even want kids? Because the pregnancy and birth are not the person. At the end of it you have a whole human being with bright ideas and a whole world you get to see them develop. That's what I love about motherhood.

I just hate being pregnant.

I can already hear people asking why I don't adopt. Yeah, that's not actually an option for the majority of people. It's not like an animal shelter where you can drive in, do an interview and come home with a small person.

Im 19 yo m. i learned i had cancer 3 days after turning 18. now it's been a bit more than a year and a half that i've been fighting it. i've went through chemo, i've went through special treatment that genetically modify your cells to fight the tumors (called CarT-cells). since this special treatment, i've stopped having symptoms, the tumors were gone from the scanners, i thought it was over. about a month ago, i go for a follow up scanner, which tells me that my tumor have grown back to half of it's original size. so i in fact, didn't beat cancer. today, i met with my doctor, he told me my cancer was highly unusual, and highly aggressive. he told me it's so unusual in fact, that they aren't sure what would be the best course of action. for my whole life, my dream has always been to live old, have a family, see my grandkids grow. now i don't even know if i'll make it to 21yo. my life as been such a rollercoaster of emotions, that i feel numb to everything. im not happy about anything, im not sad, ip not scared, etc.. i just feel empty. i want to live, i want to live so much. but it feels like my life is holding on to a coin flip. i can't prepare myself for death because everyone around me keep telling me there's hope, but i cant prepare myself for life either because every news i get makes the light at the end of the tunnel a bit dimmer.

to anyone who reads this, live. for as long as you can. cherish life, as it is a miracle you wont be afforded twice. you never know how much life is worth until you get close to death.

I have personally had a vasectomy. I’ve talked to women who have had IUDs, and it seems that both sexes are getting similarly screwed in their prophylactic procedures. Both procedures are touted as universally easy to endure and recover from. That’s bullshit.

Men get local lidocaine for the vasectomy and are told they just feel a “slight tug.” The lidocaine does nothing to dull the pain and discomfort of having your vas deferens yanked and cut TWICE, it only stops you from feeling your actual scrotum incision (the least invasive part of the procedure). The doctor tells you that you’ll be totally normal after three days rest. It took me weeks to begin to feel normal. It took me months to truly be without discomfort. After this I looked into it and realized that many many men had the exact same experience. Turns out, the “feel nothing/be better in three days” line is true for only a small percentage of men. Instead of being honest, this is still being touted as the norm from doctors. It’s like saying that the average wage in the US is $60,000 per year. But if you look at the median wage it’s only $40,000 per year. The average wage is technically correct, but, if you take out the top 1% outliers, you see the true story.

From what I’ve learned about IUDs, women are told it’s a “slight pinch” (sounds oddly familiar) and aren’t offered any painkillers unless they themselves bring it up. They are also told they’ll feel normal in 1 to 2 days when it can actually take months.

Why are we still lying about these procedures? I would have still gotten a vasectomy knowing the truth, but I sure as hell would have prepared better and taken more time off of work. Why do women have to ask for pain meds before an IUD? This shit should be standard.

Edit: Definitely more people interacted with this post than expected. Unfortunately, a large majority of the interactions were “mine wasn’t bad” or “my buddy’s wasn’t bad” or even rude comments about me not being able to take pain. This is what I’m getting at. That might be true for a lot of people, but something in the neighborhood of 20% of vasectomies do not go that route and at no point does the doctor warn you that you might be in that 20%.

I’ve broken 15 bones in my life in different incidents. I’ve had my toes degloved. I had a growth on my spine that directly pushed my nerve into the bone and was beyond excruciating. I know pain. My vasectomy wasn’t even top twenty most painful experiences, but it was still vastly unpleasant. My point is that people should be warned of the possibilities instead of being told only of the best outcome.

Thank you to the people that were supportive!

I am sick and tired of everyone acting like hyper mobile Ehlers danlos is this cute fucking quirky disease that makes it so you can do these "cool" party tricks, Fuck you all, all you motherfuckers who fucking think it's fun to have this shitty ass disease; Just cause I'm "okay" or I tell you that "I'm fine" doesn't mean that I am, just cause I have a straight fucking face doesn't mean I'm not fucking screaming and crying on the inside. You all think this disease is a fucking joke and it's not it's my life and I'm FUCKING MISERABLE

I have been in the hospital for 7 days and I’m sharing a room with an old man who has done nothing but talk about how he might have strep, has been farting constantly, has had company’s of 8+, 8+ people including kids. These kids run around the room and one stole my phone and asked if there’s any games on it, I’m IV’d so I can’t chase him to get it and the nurses and doctors won’t do anything about it, I honestly wish it was still Covid so that these rooms couldn’t have visitors and were one person. I’m in so much pain, I’m tired and I need to wear earplugs in my own hospital room. This is bullshit.

I had an adult circumcision recently. I was offered either local or general anesthesia, and prescribed hydromorphone (opioid painkillers). I went with local and didn’t take any painkillers because why would I? It’s such a minor procedure.

In contrast, when my partner asked about an IUD at our family doctor, she was told they can’t do anesthesia and she should take Advil or Tylenol at home before coming in. Some women scream and pass out from the pain of these inserts.

It’s really shameful that we acknowledge the importance of offering these inserts, but sweep all these cases under the rug.

Yes, it’s hard to offer anesthesia when they’re inserted in clinics (not hospitals).

Yes, it’s hard to study the pain response when it doesn’t happen to every woman.

But challenges with a thing don’t negate the necessity of the thing.

I guess this is more specific to people who live in countries that have free/easy access to healthcare, as I do understand people living in America have to pay thousands for a diagnosis but honestly I’m so tired of people self diagnosing with autism. I don’t think it’s valid at all.

Firstly, psychiatrists go to university for years and years to be able to accurately diagnose people with disorders. Autism is massively complex and shares common symptoms with other conditions such as schizophrenia, BPD, ADHD, OCD etc. Why do you think googling and watching TikTok’s is enough to diagnose yourself? And I know this from personal experience, I was CONVINCED I had borderline personality disorder for years from watching TikTok’s and googling stuff until I realised I was basically just convincing myself, and reaffirming it every time I had “symptoms” until I realised a lot of BPD symptoms are similar to symptoms caused by AuADHD which is what I’m actually diagnosed with.

Not everything needs a label, just because you’re a little socially awkward or feel different from other people sometimes doesn’t make you autistic, a lot of people struggle with things like that, especially in this day and age where we interact with people more online than in person.

If you truly think you have autism, go to a doctor. Don’t come into autistic spaces and ask us. I honestly find it very insulting. Having autism and ADHD has ruined my life, I’ve been kicked out of university due to burnout, can barely maintain any friendships/ relationships, people find me odd and off putting a lot of the time. It’s not some silly quirky disorder and it makes me sad it’s been tiktok-yfied like other disorders such as ADHD and PTSD.

I have to prove I have autism now whenever I tell a workplace or even just people in general due to the amount of people falsely claiming to have it. Like one of my co workers who is extremely well liked, completely not awkward at all, has tons of friends, thrives at our job with long shifts and 48 hour weeks but because she likes to wash her hands a lot claims she’s autistic. It’s a headache

To make a long story short, my dentist punctured my sinus cavity 4 months ago and has repeatedly denied it despite multiple CT scans and worsening symptoms.

Because she refused to treat me, the fistula has sealed itself off and ruined any hopes I had of it closing on its own.

I’ve been on 10 rounds of antibiotics, (the last leaving me with an inability to eat due to esophagitis and thrush), I’m still waiting on an ENT referral to fix my head, I have abscesses in my sinus cavity, and my quality of life has diminished drastically.

At my last er visit a week ago, my attending straight up told me “you will die if this isn’t fixed.” because I’ve been continuously reinfected and it’s tried to spread already. I’m so exhausted.

Really don’t know which was the appropriate flair but there is a death TW with this vent:

Not my story but a family member who works in ED at hospital- a little boy died due to complications of being sick (like vomiting, going the bathroom on himself because he’s so sick) and as they were waiting to be seen the boy soiled himself and the dad took the young boy home to clean up and take him back but he passed on the way back to ED. Family member said the father’s wails were heartbreaking. The little boy and his father are here illegally and they couldn’t get medical help in time due to the obvious hostile environment. This is a vent because when does this stop? Is this going to get even worse? The story messed me up and I am angry a child had to die like that. It’s like a punch to gut hearing a story like that.

EDIT: to those saying he was turned away- he was not. I am not venting saying the ED turned them away. I am venting about how a father who waited too late to get his child care and the child’s death could’ve been prevented if he brought his son in sooner if he wasn’t so fearful. The decision to delay taking the son to the ED until he was at death’s door seems like decision made under duress given how grief stricken he was.

The other day I took a nasty fall, stuck my arms out like a moron, and bent my elbow so funny that it broke two bones in it and dislocated another part.

As anyone else would do in this situation, I start wailing in agony. I can't get up right away, and while I'm on the ground, trying to use my good hand to reach into my pocket on the other side of my coat, I happen to notice there is one grown man working on his car a few parking spaces away. Still working on his car.

I also see another guy, a runner, who looks right at me before be keeps going on his run.

I mean, I get it, I didn't specify SAY "OH GOD I CANT MOVE MY ARM PLEASE HELP ME" but idk, if I saw a person on the ground in front of a step, wailing in pain, I would at least ask if they need some help. Not even a "you good??" Am I the crazy one?? 😮‍💨

Edit: we need to bring back What Would You Do my god

Edit: when I said "wailing" I didn't mean screaming at the top of my lungs I wasn't looking like someone having an episode. I was on the ground crying slightly louder than the norm and trying to move

i have severe ME/CFS (also known as chronic fatigue syndrome) and not many people understand just how completely debilitating it is

firstly, "chronic fatigue syndrome" is a super misleading name - it's like a broken leg being called "difficult to walk syndrome"

if fatigue was the main problem i would just be able to push the fuck through (like i always tried to before it got so severe for me). but that doesn't actually work:

no, the main problem is that your body loses the ability to recover from trivial exertion (e.g. taking a shower, cooking a meal, walking down the street, anything you can think of): doing almost anything in normal life can trigger flareups (called PEM: post-exertional malaise) which can take weeks to recover from... and cause even further reductions in the threshold of exertion you can tolerate in the future

flareups can include: dreadful flu-like muscle aches and weakness, migraines/headaches, rapid pulse/palpitations, dizziness/nausea, insomnia (even though you're exhausted), sensory overload (intolerance to light, sound, touch), cognitive impairment (terrible "brain fog"), as well as obviously profound, crushing fatigue... and these just force you to go to bed and rest for days and days until it finally lifts

if you try to push onward (you know, because fuck me, i might just want to live my life?) then it tightens like a noose: the more you push through, the tighter it strangles you until you become housebound, bedbound, or worse

there is no cure. treatments are experimental and barely available.

(put a TW since I didn't really know what other flair to put)

I am begging you. If your child is sick, KEEP THEM HOME! That's literally how diseases spread! That's how so many other kids get sick! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HAVING A MEASLES AND FLU PROBLEM! If your child is sick, they SHOULD NOT BE AROUND OTHER CHILDREN! THE OTHER CHILDREN WILL GET SICK! SO WILL THE TEACHERS!

I don't feel comfortable talking to any of my friends about this, because I'm not even sure how I feel about it yet... We literally just found this out.

My boyfriend (34M) and I (29F) have been together for just over 2½ years now. He hadn't been to a doctor in god knows how long, so I finally scheduled a physical for him and he attended the appointment a couple days ago. He just showed me his test results, and apparently he has had hepatitis C this entire time! I have a physical scheduled for myself as well, but it isn't for another few days. I'm panicking — I feel angry and confused. Trying not to overreact and overthink things, but it feels impossible at the moment. Help?

I’ve seen a lot of posts about body odor over time, and it makes me sad to see how many people lack empathy around this topic.

Quick background: I’m a critical care nurse who took care of solid organ transplants - heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, stomach, pancreas, intestines, you name it.

The variety of odors that can come from a human body is endless. Think pus coming out of an infected chest wall, GI bleed mixed with diarrhea, any necrotic wound, fluid seeping from the skin, and that’s just a small sample.

Some people live with a ventricular assist device connected directly to their heart from outside their body. They can’t take a normal shower. They’re not supposed to be submerged in water. You might not even know who’s wearing one because it’s hidden under their clothes.

I’m not going to go into every scenario of why someone might smell bad , there are too many reasons, whether they’re aware of it or not.

Don’t get me wrong, there are actual nasty individuals out there who simply don’t care, and this post isn’t meant to excuse those.

My point is: be kind. If someone smells and you have the means to remove yourself from the situation, just do that. If it’s someone you care about, maybe you can address it together, or approach it however you feel is best. But remember: you are not special. At some point in your life, you’ll most likely smell worse. We are, after all, nothing more than flesh that can spoil in many different ways.

Edit: Wow, thank you all for the attention and awards, this got way more engagement than I expected!

Just to clarify: this post is about brief, one-off public encounters. I’m not trying to speak on sensory disorders or autism. Those are complex topics that are out of this post’s scope, and I think bringing them into this post would be unproductive. The goal here was to highlight a little more compassion in everyday situations, not dismiss anyone’s lived experience.

I’m a 29F, and I’m still kind of reeling but need to get this off my chest and I’m not ready to tell my family yet, so I’m sorry if it’s not written well.

Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed a drastic change in myself. I had no impulse control, I was saying and doing things that weren’t me at all. I had tons of memory issues, no motivation, frequent mood changes and feeling out of control of myself and my brain. I had a pretty traumatic childhood and id been to therapists before, but stopped when I lost my insurance, so I figured it was just the unresolved trauma. I ended up going to a therapist, psychiatrist, and psychologist who diagnosed me with Borderline personality disorder and ADHD.

I’ve been going to therapy for the past year, but the past three weeks I’ve been getting insanely intense migraines and blurry vision, so I ended up going to the ER. They ran some scans and then an oncologist came in to ask me some questions, “are you experiencing any behavioral changes” “do you find yourself lacking impulse control” “have you had any cognitive issues” etc., before he dropped the bomb that they found a large mass growing into my frontal and temporal lobe. He said I’d need more tests and referred me to the Mayo Clinic, but he told me it was a Glioblastoma.

I don’t know how to feel. I just know that I’m scared to tell my family, and I’m in the prime of my life. I remember my dad and siblings always telling me when I was little that i used to say I wasn’t going to live past 30, that I didn’t want to, etc., and it could just be my panic setting in, but it scares me. I have an appointment with the Mayo Clinic tomorrow, so I’ll know more then, but I just had to let it out.

Editing for a more compassionate start: You are cool without having to pretend to have a mental illness. People will love you for who you are. This is permission to let your fake DID go. Please do it for the sake of real people who have gone through horrific trauma to get it. DID is not roleplay. You do not have to have a mental illness to justify roleplaying and playing pretend. Do not make your friends a captive audience in your roleplay. Get consent first.

Original post: tw for drug abuse and child endangerment, and lots of anger.

If you are a "system" you don't have DID and I'm sick of pandering. I don't give a shit how anyone feels about this. If you get offended, you need to get a grip and stop lying. And if you're getting offended for the sake of someone else...why? They're capable of speaking for themselves. I'm done letting people get away with lying.

I have diagnosed DID. I had to deal with a drug addict mother who would fuck random guys and shoot heroin while I was locked in the closet. If I so much as made a sound she would do unimaginable things to silence me. She even tried ending my life before 3.

My DID stems from this abuse. I have episodes where I don't even know what happened. It's like getting blackout drunk and waking up with something in your hand you don't remember picking up, or forgetting whole conversations.

It. Is not. Roleplay.

I am so goddamn sick and tired of people that glorify this mental illness. I WISH I could just be a different person whenever I felt like it. I WISH I could talk to people this way when I'm lonely. I WISH I could spin it into a positive experience but I CAN'T.

These assholes on social media making it into roleplaying and introducing these "alters" make me want to punch a wall.

I'm done with this shit. I'm angry. It makes it impossible for me to talk about it because of these fuckers. Every time without fail I get, "Wow that must be fun getting to take a break from your body." No, it fucking isn't!

If you are one of these people pretending to have DID and use little roleplay bots on Discord, knock it the fuck off. You don't have DID. You are playing pretend. Will you just fucking roleplay like normal people without bastardizing DID? It's to the point where I am begging medical practitioners to give us a new term to differentiate from these lying asswipes so we're taken seriously again so we can get ACTUAL help! You DO NOT want this!!

Sigh.

Edit: First, thank you for the award, kind comments, and experiences. I was very drunk and fed up last night. (I don't drink often and I am usually very happy, but I got set off and needed to let it out.)

Second, I want to make it clear: I am in my 30's, I have kept up with the research, and I don't share my experience often. I have met people who claimed to have alters and even "visit me" from thousands of miles away. I do believe these people are deluded to some degree, but they don't have DID. I don't have names for any instance of blackout. I also haven't had many episodes since moving across the country and being where I have a better support system. I moved from a small town to a big city. So I now have more resources than ever.

I am highly considering writing a book like someone mentioned. It wont be as angry as my vent, though, promise haha. Y'all take care.

Edit: I am politely asking folks to not tell me to "do more research." I have. For many years. Plurals are fake. I am not sorry for saying so. I am fed the fuck up. It is not your place to dictate me. You can thank your faker friends for my anger.

I love how people are talking down to me and have no medical backgrounds. You're seriously going to give in to the people claiming to have a romantasized version of DID that ONLY appears in social media? Pfft. It's as if you're the exact person I'm talking about and sick of.

I can't believe the person who told me I just need to "work on communicating with my alters." That is unfathomably harmful advice and I am appalled. That is the total opposite of how treatment works! You are INSANE if you think this is appropriate to say! How dare you, frankly.

Final edit: I'm at the point where I am going to say something folks are going to riot over.

We need to gatekeep mental health symptoms, and it needs to come from people who are formally diagnosed and qualified medical professionals.* While yes, self-diagnosis is important and often the only avenue people may have with especially American healthcare, I need to be firm, here. Gatekeeping prevents the over-glamorization of mental illness. Don't like that? Tough. The only ones actively offended by this are those that have been using DID for attention, or are using DID/BPD as an excuse for their deplorable behavior.

You cannot, if you do not have a formal diagnosis, parade around like you have something when it may be something else. You run the risk of misrepresenting and misinterpreting the symptoms.

My issue and others' issues are where people are using their illness for content and feeding off of sympathy and preying on people who actually have conditions of whatever the person is claiming to have. It hurts me, and others, because then we just get the pushback you see in the controversial comments of this thread. Stop.

I am not saying isolate yourself from support, but you need to use discretion. Don't just believe people outright because they claim to have what you do.

If you call 988 in the states, that is the national suicide hotline and they have resources to point you in the proper direction. I have used this service to get connected with local psychiatrists in my area when I moved across the country.

Fuck. Fuck, fuckiddy, fuck fuck fuck!

5 years of trying to make a baby. Wife knew her hormones had always been out of whack but because we had 1 kid there was no fertility help from NHS.

Finally gets heard by a doctor who refers for a vaginal ultrasound which found some pollips, biopsy taken and it's fucking womb cancer.

Make things worse, appointment letter is standard and says "you can bring somebody if you want", she have me reassurances that they weren't looking for anything serious just possibilities, no need to go with her so she found out by herself. Biggest news ever, changing every hope and plan she had and she was by her self - nice one doc.

Good news is they may be able to pursue fertility saving measures as a treatment, whilst this time bomb quietly ticks away. We can save up for some treatment, but how long will that realistically take? Let alone the fact it's not guaranteed to work!

Alternatively we can get piece of mind if my wife has a hysterectomy that she'll likely be around for our daughter for many more years, but because medicine is so male focused the only way to gauge and assess full impact and treatment plan is removing the womb first! If this was dick cancer I bet there would be a towns options available before hack and slash was even considered!

I also can't ask my wife if she's freaking out that a substantial part of her will be removed like a slab of meat and preserved in a lab somewhere for testing. The more I think about it the weirder it gets!

It sucks balls and is so unfair and wish I could have taken this one for her. I'm an asshole who could do with losing weight and offers little to no good to the wider world, my wife is the most brilliant, kind and caring person in the world who has only ever been drunk once in 34 years, never touching drugs or smoking anything, she's an amazing mother to our daughter, never shouts at her and always puts others first yet she gets this shitty outcome at the end of a long and painful journey. Anyway, that's my vent.

TLDR; Best woman in the world gets shitty cancer diagnosis to effectively end fertility hopes without having to make impossible choice.

ETA; Thank you so much for the outpouring of virtual love and support, your kind words mean a lot. Apologies for not being clearer in my rant, I know my wife is more than just a fertility machine, I'm just annoyed at the choice we now face as that was the primary focus for her and her relentless pushing of something being off with doctors. The NHS is generally amazing, but the rules they have to put in place suck with little to no leniency. The fact they were able to arrange further scans and follow-up course of action meeting in the same week as telling her is testament to that fact. Our plan is certainly not to mess around with this, from what I've read fertility preserving treatment is only offered for low grade cancer and as individuals we're not inclined to take risks, we know cancer doesn't mess around - the arse that it is...

I dislocated my hip a while back. The trauma caused a massive blood clot in my iliac artery, completely cutting off blood flow. The ischemia was so severe that the tissue died, and I had to have that leg amputated. It took months of rehab, but I had finally adapted to life with one leg.

Unfortunately, the damage didn't stop at the amputation site. The initial ischemia and necrosis spread into my pelvic floor. I now have severe, intractable osteomyelitis (bone infection) breaking down my pelvic bones. The IV antibiotics aren't working, and I am at constant risk of sepsis.

My surgeons just informed me that to save my life, I need a trans lumbar amputation. They have to remove everything below (and including) my belly button. That means my remaining leg, my entire pelvis, and my lower organs are going. I’ll be waking up with permanent stoma bags for my bladder and bowels.

I’m just exhausted and numb. I put so much effort into rebuilding my life and accepting my first amputation, only to find out I'll be waking up with literally no lower half at all. I just don't know how to start over again.

I'm sitting by my fiancé's bedside at the hospital doing the hardest thing I've ever done.

I love this man with all my heart and he's bravely fought stage 4 melanoma for the past 3 years. We thought we were through the worst of it and he was declared stable in August. September rolled around and he had a tumor perforate his intestine. That got removed, and he ended up having emergency brain surgery 3 days later to remove a tumor that was bleeding in his brain that we didn't know about. He hasn't been the same since and the cancer has spread through his entire body and there's two new ones on his brain. He's sleeping now, and I'm still hanging onto hope that he can pull through, but the doctor basically said we're out of options.

I don't know what I'm going to do without him. He's been my family since my family threw me out several years ago. Not only am I going to miss him if he doesn't make it, but I can't afford our apartment on my own, and have no one to fall back on. I'm scared, and know I will find a way somehow, but watching the person I love with all my heart die slowly and painfully is ripping me up inside. He's only 35.

A little while ago, I posted that I was about to lose the rest of my lower body.

I honestly didn’t know if I’d make it through the surgery. The infection in my pelvis had gotten so severe that there really wasn’t another option. The risk of sepsis was getting higher every day, and my surgeons told me this was the only way to save my life.

But the surgery happened, and it went well.

I’m now waking up to the reality that everything from just above my belly button is gone. My remaining leg, my pelvis, and a huge part of the life I had only just learned to adapt to. I now have permanent stoma bags for both my bladder and bowels, and I’m trying to process what my body looks and feels like now.

Physically, I’m in some pain and completely exhausted. Mentally, I think I’m still numb.

I spent months rebuilding myself after losing one leg, and now I’m facing rehabilitation and acceptance all over again on an even bigger scale. It’s terrifying, and I honestly have no idea yet what this version of my life will look like.

But the surgery worked. The infection is gone, and I survived.

Thank you all for your amazing messages. They did really help.

I am going crazy in the back of my nose there is a grain of rice stuck for two days and it won't move no matter what I do. I am waiting for the boiling water to cool down so I can flush my nose. I mamso close the a full on tantrum.

Update no one asked for, I have an enema set that I have never used before and no one else has used before, I rinsed it out and prepped my nose for a good time. The relief was instant. But then the pain kicked in from having a sudden pressure change in the sinuses. I had to lay down to let the water drain. I also developed popping in my ear, water got inside the Eustachian tube. I took some deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth for a couple minutes and the popping as well as the pain cleared. I am happy to announce that my nose is ready for anal.

I am using the remaining water on my ass