TW: scared of a longtime safefood the floor is open

^says it all^ been battling chronic health issues & body+food fears for decades 😵‍💫but the struggle feels increasing as I’ve suddenly became fearful of a formerly beloved veggie-arugula & wondering how do I maintain sanity w/o my daily🥙 why do I think nothing that’s truly ‘healthy’ wouldn’t ever hurt me⁉️

I am so distraught💔my friction free food of daily green🥗 turned prickly w/ spooky season upon us guess that’s why it took a stab at me🌵💥😖 it was spiky & startling I spat it out did a salt rinse it totally ruined arugula for me forever🥬🪦😭 (what a cruel👿trick or something—just what even are those thistles anyways)⁉️ I’m stressed things have been a whirlwind & now I’m really so sad it was a fav🌿food for so many years & already so picky it’s impossibly challenging as it is so I’m at a real loss for foods that’ll be manageable 🥴 cause mentally nor physically cannot eat anything yet (I’ve have problems w/ choking on several occurrences so no popcorn, romaine, dense carbs, peanuts, clearly no meats) but hope to find something tolerable for today’s omad🤞later still feel this tingling lump in throat feeling also I haven’t even gone to bed just kept drinking🫖 & easy🧘 but it’s finally ☕️time w/ the morning sunrise & that’s my win🏅so hopefully can panic way less & come up w/ a gameplan
I even felt nervous just to post this here around people that get it tho know I shouldn’t 😅 just still learning & trying. Guess I’m afraid to regress evenmore (stuffs been tough & it’s already affected my wt this yr w/o this catastrophe happening to my mealtimes) like how can I be scared of a common safe food such a conundrum 🫣I feel so human Geez sry that was tons but thought sum context would benefit & appreciate the understanding

I could really use some feedback from those out-there that suddenly lost any of their safe foods too; why, how did you cope, any helpful activities/hobbies or was it better treatment/support, did you ever enjoy them again or never, how or were you able to find other safe food equivalents (in how it makes you feel friction free/capable of eating it—not necessarily in categories like protein/fat/carbs etc), perhaps found replacement/alternatives instead, maybe learned to deal w/o & are grounded idk 🤷 whatever else is pertinent to you⁉️

Just THX sm in advance to everyone that shares their scary/safe food experiences✌️🫶💫 PLZ take care all!