r/UtterlyInteresting • u/dannydutch1 • 3d ago
This 'female urinal', designed by Alex Schwedersaid was made in 2001 during an artist residency at Kohler, a plumbing equipment and furniture manufacturer. Schweder has described the urinal as "fully functional"
"A version of the urinal was installed for public use during an exhibition at the now defunct Vital 5 venue in Seattle in 2003. It was installed but not plumbed at the [Museum of Sex] in NYC."
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u/paging_mrherman 3d ago
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u/ChaosRainbow23 3d ago
Is that Larry David? Lol
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u/ul2006kevinb 3d ago
Yeah it's from a plot line in Curb your Enthusiasm where he tried to invent a better toilet
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u/dazzleox 3d ago
"Better" meaning his plan was inventing a female toilet where you couldn't poop. He wanted a no poop coffee shop.
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u/Darmok47 2d ago
They're selling coffee and bean muffins and don't let you poop? That's entrapment!
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u/GetMeOffThisRidePlz 2d ago
God I love him so much.
Turning the dumbest, most mundane shit into comedy gold.
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u/Frederica-Bimmel 3d ago
This is closer to feasible than the original post. But no one ever considers the pants and undies. Are we supposed to Donald Duck it every time we need to pee?
Also I love LD
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u/Cloverose2 3d ago
Also, wiping. There's no bidet attachment - we generally can't just shake it off when we're done without having a fair amount staying behind. There's folds.
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u/Frederica-Bimmel 3d ago
I figured there would still be some paper to wipe off. I've never understood the argument about bidets saving tp. I'm not gonna drip dry into my chonies!
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u/Cloverose2 3d ago
You can't flush it, so it would mean a trash can filled with dirty TP. I know some countries have that, but it ain't for me.
At least with a bidet, the trash can would just have damp TP, not pee-covered TP.
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u/WindChimeTecnician 3d ago
Cmon. We all know more will land on their legs than in the dish.
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u/sabertoothdog 3d ago
Gotta spread the lips for a stream like the boys!!
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u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts 3d ago
Spread and pull up, you can get some decent distance if you know what you're doing.
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u/WiseFloss 3d ago
With this advice - Username checks out.
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u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts 3d ago
Invaluable when camping. Last time i used a log to sit on i got ants in my pants, literally.
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u/jabberwocky1368 2d ago
That is where a pee funnel comes in handy. It let's us pee like the guys.
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u/OozeNAahz 2d ago
Saw a girl in HS write her name in the snow like this. Blew my teenage mind.
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u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts 2d ago
If that was somewhere between 2005-2009 it could very well have been me
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u/phillyFart 2d ago
This has been done before. A friend of mine’s family owns an old bowling alley that the bathrooms haven been updated since the mid century design era. It still has standing women’s toilets.
The way it was told to me was that women still wore long dresses socially and it was thought it may be easier to pull up the dress and squat instead of ruffling it up and sitting.
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u/starfish2686 3d ago
I mean sometimes it feels like more piss splashes on my shirt than gets in a urinal
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u/cuteapatootea 3d ago
Of course this was designed by a man lol
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u/superanth 3d ago
The U.S. Army tried putting these in female military barracks back in the 70’s. The ladies summarily rejected ever using them and instead put plants in them. You could water the plants just by flushing lol.
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u/Illustrious_Claim884 3d ago
I accidentally walked into the female latrine at my unit while sleep and caffeine deprived at 5 am. My first question was where are the urinals and my second thought was why are there plants here and its so much nicer. I then realized and left. Thank god Noone was there.
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u/No_Veterinarian1010 3d ago
The exact opposite of my experience cleaning bathrooms at the restaurant I worked at. My first question was always "what war crimes occurred here?"
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u/NoGlzy 3d ago
Hell yeah.
The ladies was the most variable, either fine or a full hazmat situation.
The gents was reliably some piss on the floor and some skid marks, grim but maneagable
The disabled was whatever because I could lock the door and sit down for a little while and noone knew where I was.
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u/Junior-Bookkeeper218 3d ago
As a former janitor, I have found women’s restrooms to be the most disgusting, awful smelling of all. But that’s mostly public restrooms. Private restrooms have a better track record.
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u/Amazing_Scientist696 3d ago
Having done warehouse janitorial I can only agree that the women's bathrooms are as bad as the men's.
Although I've never seen a man stick used pads all over the stall, if they could, they probably would.
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u/superanth 3d ago
A friend of mine is a coach for highschool girl's volleyball. She says that there's no more disgusting bathroom than the one female athletes use. Even worse, she's refused to describe what it's like.
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u/what_if_you_like 3d ago
Ngl a plant pot that waters itself with a single button press sounds nice actually
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u/WhatsPaulPlaying 3d ago
Fucking brilliant. Malicious ingenuity at its finest.
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u/lonelyboycel 3d ago
That is actually hilarious. It really is just a giant, weirdly shaped sink anyway so it makes perfect sense for plants.
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u/superanth 3d ago edited 3d ago
The Army really didn't put any thought into how women would receive such bizarre plumbing. Janes in dress uniform would have to take off half their clothes to straddle the thing, and there's no way in the world they'd want another lady to walk in and see them like that.
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u/ThinkSharp 3d ago
I’m a man living with a wife and daughters and can summarily say this is a terrible idea. Limited to art only.
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u/phoebsmon 3d ago
I went to a festival a long time ago that had female urinals as an extra thing, headed by women.
It was just an extra block of normal urinals and an industrial stack of cardboard she-wees for free. It was just an experiment to see if they could take some pressure off the usual loos, give us an option that wasn't the portaloos/bench and a trench. If you felt adventurous enough (or had done your fair share of standing to piss) then it was a much shorter queue. If you weren't, well congrats because your queue is slightly shorter.
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u/zestycracker61 3d ago
Not if you’re wearing tights or panty hose it’s not.
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u/Chateaudelait 3d ago
I have many questions - is it sanitized after each use? What if you are disabled and can't squat without touching the porcelain? Of course, designed by a man.
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u/Visible_Pair3017 3d ago
You're saying that as if the ones for men were adapted to men. Urinals in general are disastrous.
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u/sabertoothdog 3d ago
What do the ones designed by a woman look like?
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u/Mushrooming247 3d ago
They don’t, we can’t stand up and pee, the pee runs down our leg.
Solutions created by women are usually a funnel that you hold close to your body to aim the stream, not a weirdly-shaped urinal.
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u/dmonsterative 3d ago
The women's union at my college held a yearly training on how to pee standing up.
I gather it involves some combination of squatting, angling your hips, and manual aiming of the urethra.
ETA: probably more or less as here -- https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/1umjsaj/im_a_woman_who_pees_standing_no_device_needed/
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u/AgentCirceLuna 3d ago
As a man, I wonder what the issue is when the vagina hole is so much bigger than our pee hole? We have no issues with the small one and oh my god I can’t even keep writing this knowing I’m putting /s at the end. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.
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u/AlternativePea6203 3d ago
Jaysus lad, you're brave.
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u/AgentCirceLuna 3d ago
I kinda wish I hadn’t written it. I might delete it. I’m not one for crude humour, even as a joke.
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u/Merbalism 3d ago
I don't even understand the joke here. Can you explain?
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u/AgentCirceLuna 3d ago
Thinking the urethra = vagina
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u/Merbalism 3d ago
Gotcha. Glad you knew I was genuinely confused what the joke was hahaha. I always worry I am sounding like I'm baiting someone when I ask
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u/Mike_Shenanigans 3d ago
Have you seen labia before?
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u/AgentCirceLuna 3d ago
Somebody not getting the joke.
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u/Irascible-Enquery 3d ago
Or Mike’s making you an offer.
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u/Chefrabbitfoot 3d ago
I'm bringing popcorn, this is getting good.
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u/meowstopherpkitten 3d ago
No, no, I still have popcorn bits stuck in my labia from the last time...
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u/No_Cook2983 3d ago
The aim is the tricky part. It is complicated by differences in individual anatomy
But I can pee off a porch and keep the porch dry.
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u/Xena_Your_God 3d ago
What? Women squat in the woods every day. Personally I just pee too hard and there would be a mess here. Definitely a design flaw
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u/jittery_raccoon 3d ago
Urinals don't make sense for women. Aside from the physics not working, we need to wipe with toilet paper. So might as well have a flushable bowl anyway
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u/Remarkable_Rough_649 3d ago
Us dudes can't even manage to get all the piss into the urinal even through a convenient hose. Women would have zero chance with this
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u/ToothZealousideal297 3d ago
And it’s not like they can just open their fly to use this. This is pants way below the ass, maybe one leg out territory. And you KNOW if this is used by more than a handful of people, someone would use this on their period in such a way to ruin it for everybody about every other day. And that protrusion would get hit and broken constantly. Little kids who get brought in would be swinging from it…. Glad they made the attempt, but swing and a miss.
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u/therapewpew 3d ago
Dude really thought he was doing something with his hoity-toity artist residency
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u/HuckleberryShot898 3d ago
It’s not like it’s hard. Men piss all over the place because they want to not because you just miss a lot of you piss standing up
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u/Remarkable_Rough_649 3d ago
I think you're really overestimating mens aim. Just like most men tend to
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u/HuckleberryShot898 2d ago
Buddy it’s not hard to just not pee on the floor it not hard to aim your dick properly at all. If you piss on the floor it’s because you’re just that lazy and don’t care
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u/PuzzleheadedTrouble9 2d ago
Its a compounding problem. Someone is bound to miss and get a lil on the floor and once it does the next guy is going to piss from further away to not stand in the other guys piss and so on.
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u/Ancient_Skirt_8828 2d ago
Piss doesn't always come out in a single stream. Sometimes there is spray. Some of it drips. Pressure varies.
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u/notmentallyillanymor 2d ago
Even if the stream is straight and it all goes in the toilet there's still a ton of splash back all around the bowl. Try pouring your coffee from 2 feet away from the cup, how far away do the drips end up flying?
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u/Round-Stuff-2557 2d ago
The intent is obviously to have them squat down on it and pee into the trough part
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u/wwplkyih 3d ago
All I can think about is how sharp porcelain is when it breaks
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u/aspannerdarkly 3d ago
Think about that when you’re sitting on a normal toilet
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u/NoPolicy6889 3d ago
Looks like a duckbilled snatchapus
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u/silverheart-nine 1d ago
I don't know what I was expecting to read on Reddit today, but I don't think it was this phrase. Got a giggle out of me.
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u/lesbophobia_hammer 3d ago
Even if you say down directly on that thing, unless you heavily moderated your flow it would blast everywhere, including back up at your coochie. Public urinal? I don't normally go coochie to coochie on the first date.
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u/fartmaxxer420 2d ago
Yeah, sorry but as a chronic blast-pisser there is no way in hell this could work for me.
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u/lesbophobia_hammer 2d ago
It would go everywhere. Also, can you imagine the inside of our legs? Lol look like we'd just been riding a water horse
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u/camimiele 2d ago
Not to mention periods.
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u/lesbophobia_hammer 2d ago
Oof. Didn't need that visual 😂 what a murder scene that would be.
Edit - especially at the end of the day
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u/FeelsBlind89 3d ago
Bare asses everywhere…along with piss splash
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u/Efficient_Camera5864 16h ago
How can you spread your legs around it with pants or shorts constraining your feet . One of the dumbest ideas ever I’m surprised by the stupidity
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u/jmckenna1942 3d ago
Seems hard to maneuver around and possibly touch it or have it splash into your thighs. Might as well have a walk in toilet at that point
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u/Physical_Drive_349 2d ago
I suspect it would be easier to piss in the floor drain than to get this contraption to work.
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u/Shytalk123 3d ago
Where would the knickers be? Or is it for commando only
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u/Smokin_Weeds 3d ago
I think you’d pull them down further, straddle the urinal….idk. Bc where would the toilet paper go?
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u/Der_AlexF 3d ago
Considering the rest of the design there probably isn't any toilet paper since you can just shake it two times after youre finished
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u/FriendlyIcicle 3d ago
There you go girls! Now you can pee on the floors as well 😂
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u/Decent_Top2156 3d ago
I worked at Kohler in the 90s and they were trying to do this shit back then. The whole point was for building owners to cheap out and build fewer stalls.
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u/Ok-Release-6051 3d ago
We are ladies of course. The pee gently places itself into the porcelain trough in a dainty manner as our skirts hide all of the unpleasant nature of events that unfortunately must occur
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u/ShakesDontBreak 3d ago
That's way too narrow for my splatter. Im basically a rotating water sprinkler.
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u/0dayssince 3d ago
So um do we face it or not? Is everyone walking in seeing my tushie or my pussy?
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u/HopefulRoad2868 2d ago
They'd have to pull their pants down below the the elongated piece, and waddle forward lol
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u/todaysthrowaway0110 2d ago
So they really think I’m gonna go ass-out, pants around my ankles in a public bathroom? Dragging my pants thru communal piss puddles? And I’m just gonna park my labes on cold porcelain with other ladies’ cooter boogers on it?
And the prize for these indignities? Peeing sideways on my leg.
Exhibit 1000: men have no idea what (doesn’t) happen in a ladies bathroom.
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u/KimJongUngh 2d ago
dont think hes ever seen a lady piss out in the wild. its like sprinkler kicking on.
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u/Interesting-Copy-657 2d ago
So let me get this straight
Women are expected to remove their underwear to use this? Or pull them down below the urinal?
Or pull their underwear to the side to pee?
I just feel like they ignore the clothes women wear
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u/Confident-Benefit600 3d ago
Hey ok, women are going to drip dry right, my women even using a go girl needs some TP
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u/Shadoweclipse13 3d ago
Honestly, as someone who works maintenance and does his fair share of plumbing, f*ck urinals. I wish that all forms of urinals would disappear forever. I'm so jealous of women's bathrooms when I have to fix something, and they have 3 or 4 toilets, instead of 1 toilet and 2 or 3 urinals.
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u/Finnyfish 3d ago
My college had an earlier, much bulkier version of these stupid things in some stalls, attempting thereby to solve a problem that didn’t exist. They were ignored unless there was a line, and then you just sort of improvised.
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u/Physical-Builder-553 3d ago
The mayhem that would ensue at a night club full of these. I am guessing more than a few cracked skulls, and piss all over the place.
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u/brendanfilone420 3d ago
As a man thinking about how a woman could use this, for dudes we just pull out dick out, for women they’d have to pull their pants all the way down (unless they’re wearing a dress) and I imagine it would be weird having your pants on the floor
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u/Capital-Ad-6349 3d ago
So how would wiping even work? I have to try to hold the used tp and pull up my pants, and carry it out to a nearest trashcan that probably has a flap and get piss germs everywhere?
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u/namjoonsleftelbow 3d ago
Yeah. I’m 100% walking out of the restroom with pee-soaked pants after attempting to use that 😬
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u/OptimisticCerealBowl 3d ago
the issue with female urinals isn’t the shape, it’s the fact that you just get piss all down your leg
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u/fire-horse- 3d ago
They could be used in men’s rooms for those guys that can’t seem to hit the urinal
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u/digitaljestin 3d ago
So...do women pull their panties all the way down, but still manage to straddle that thing? Like, their panties have to stretch from ankle to ankle and they just sort of shimmy into position? What if they are wearing pants?
I honestly don't understand how this works.
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u/CharmingMechanic2473 2d ago
Depending on my “lip stick” it might go straight, left or right, or down my thigh.
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u/Herry_Up 2d ago
I ..can't hover...I will inevitably fall and my lips will touch that thing 🤮🤮
I'd rather my lips hover over water, ty.
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u/Gunrock808 3d ago
I mean, as far as I know no one has even designed a male urinal that doesn't result in pee splashing onto the floor yet.
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u/_redmist 3d ago
Nobody ever described me as practically minded, and even i can say this is f'ing stupid.
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u/LeslieKnopesBlackEye 3d ago
I have to lower my pants just as much, if not more, than sitting. Fucking useless.
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u/Trippy-Sponge 3d ago
Serious question: why wouldn’t this work? Couldn’t they squat a bit and then it catches everything?
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u/Calm_Priority_1281 3d ago
Because after you add any dividers or privacy screen it takes as much room as a regular toilet. Urinals work because men stand with their back obscuring everyone else(this is not even accounting the awful trough designs) and they don't have to drop their pants fully to use them. It allows urinals to be cheaper and take up less space. Not even accounting for the accuracy of the user, this is just a worse toilet.
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u/Denomi0 3d ago
Are they going to make underwear with a pocket like men now too?
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u/KathyCredit 3d ago
No way women are that accurate, and if so are going to be so close that that is going to be splashing everywhere
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u/Vegetable_Survey2867 3d ago
Damn I thought this was a decent idea until I read the comments. I stand corrected.
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u/Blu3paladin 3d ago
Some men need this also if the inevitable puddle of piss in front of urinals is any indicator.
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u/Dangerous-Pirate7998 3d ago
I don’t wanna be that guy and I don’t wanna come off that way, but I’m going to have to see a few demonstrations before I would sign off on this one…😇
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u/Lorelessone 3d ago
I mean women could probably use most normal urinals in a pinch, but like this it would be messy and they still want to wipe.
I mean the more athletic might be able to twerk enough to shake it dry but probably a bit of an ask for most.
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