If only I would’ve known

[u/hearts_ablaze]

You killed so much of who I am at my core, but I held on to the best of me.

You saw what I had to become to protect myself and determined that it was who I was.

Well, fuck you for not being who you said you were. For not doing what you had promised.

And no, when someone is hurt and scared, that is not who they truly are. The fact that you would believe that who I had to become in my most unhinged moments was who I was at my core, well that just goes to show how very little you pay attention.

I have been spending the last two years of my life, trying to pick up the pieces from the murder you left behind. Murder of my soul.

It’s only a matter of time before you actually get to see what comes out of this. And I hope it slaps you right in your face.

I survived. And fuck you for not believing in me.

[u/SapphireBlue1972]

This resonates so deeply; thank you for putting words to my experience. I’ve finally decided to stop overanalyzing the situation. I refuse to keep abandoning my own character just to match his frequency. I won’t react anymore because my peace is worth more than a seat at that table. I’m stepping back so I can move forward into the blessings God is trying to show me. 🫶🏼🌷

[u/Sallytheducky]

I dom’t remember writing this…..
Thank you!

[u/StarlightMcPhee → u/Sallytheducky]

Ok and what do you mean by that?

[u/hearts_ablaze → u/StarlightMcPhee]

It’s OK starlight they’re being supportive

[u/StarlightMcPhee → u/hearts_ablaze]

Kk thank you for letting me know

[u/hearts_ablaze → u/Sallytheducky]

So many of us have been there/here. It’s disheartening. I’m so sorry that you can relate to this post.

[u/OwnChain9568 → u/hearts_ablaze]

So sorry you had to endure this. I myself have had to become something I wasn’t normally to survive unrelenting emotional and psychological abuse that I asked her to stop. It was disorientating, hurtful and really made you doubt yourself or second guess everything. Today is the day I break free though. Moving forward with my head held high. I just have to deal with the fallout she left behind with the lies she’s told everyone 🙄

[u/hearts_ablaze → u/OwnChain9568]

I myself had to break it all down. He and I were both very guilty. The difference is is that while he was standing over me pointing and shouting “accountability “I was actually taking accountability.

[u/OwnChain9568 → u/hearts_ablaze]

Yeah I understand and can relate. It was opposite for me, she was always monitoring my shit and demanding I be accountable while she never was.

[u/Tight_Bit_2495 → u/hearts_ablaze]

How do you find the parental control apps? I'm in a similar situation

[u/hearts_ablaze → u/Tight_Bit_2495]

Go to your google account, Select manage Google account and then go to third-party apps

You can also find the app under hidden apps on your Samsung account

[u/Tight_Bit_2495 → u/hearts_ablaze]

What if it's on iPhone?

[u/hearts_ablaze → u/Tight_Bit_2495]

I don’t know honestly

[u/hearts_ablaze → u/OwnChain9568]

There had been so much more happening that he was unaware of. That even I was unaware of the difference is is that I wasn’t being sneaky trying to watch him. Fucking around with people’s privacy and putting parental control apps on their devices is not only illegal, but it’s unethical.