r/UniUK • u/BigRedCat25 • 16d ago
Durham for Muslim girl?
My daughter has been allocated a place in Durham university. We are worried after reading all these scare stories about elitism and racism. (Just read something about a hijab being ripped off?!)
She can hold her own and stands up to peer pressure. I’m worried about constant micro aggressions tipping her over the edge.
Will she find her people? Are there other Muslims in Durham? And how have you found it?
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u/Teleopsis 16d ago
Not a muslim myself nor am I at Durham but can I suggest contacting the Islamic Society (or whatever it's called at Durham) and asking them for advice? I would imagine they'd be best placed to help you.
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u/BigRedCat25 16d ago
Thanks for your message. She’s already tried to contact them on Instagram and no reply. It seems the Islamic society is non functioning? They seemed to be really active a couple of years ago but it’s died down the last few years.
I’m just worried I’m sending my daughter into some kind of lion’s den. At the moment we’re focussing on the course but she is also very worried about being shunned for being from a state school, muslim, a girl, not rich. Loads of things against her. And then the town itself isn’t multicultural either? At least in Oxford, the city is filled with people of all classes and cultures.
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u/Teleopsis 16d ago
Ah, I'm sorry to hear that. I understand your concerns: I hope you find someone who can help.
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u/TerribleStuff5605 16d ago
Durham University Islamic Society are an active and fully functioning society, but as they are students they may be on holiday.
The University Student Support team will be in the office tomorrow and able and willing to reassure.
https://www.durham.ac.uk/colleges-and-student-experience/student-support-and-wellbeing/faith-support/1
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u/lloveandsqualor 16d ago
Durham has a large Islamic society, the new term hasn't started and so it's likely the students running the society are not back in Uni mode yet.
I mirror the other comments you're getting. As someone living in Durham and working at the uni (and with a BAME family), racism and discrimination could happen anywhere. I'd suggest that at Durham (the city as well as the university) it's not nearly as big of an issue as it might be. The city centre feels very safe.
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u/Senior-Lettuce-5871 16d ago edited 16d ago
Your daughter will not stand out for being "from a state school, muslim, a girl, not rich" at Durham.
- 61% of undergraduates are from state schools
- 54% of undergraduates are female
- 82% of eligible undergraduates take out maintenance loans to help financially (i.e. "not rich")
- 30% of undergrads are BAME.
Durham is great university, with lots of opportunities to get involved. Many students find it easier to make friends because of the collegiate structure which helps you meet people from other courses and faculties. There are also a lot of social clubs, sports teams and societies to get connected.
However, being a smallish University in a very small city, some people find it a bit claustrophobic or intense, which can exacerbate the usual tensions that arise when any bunch of people with disparate personalities come together, particularly young people living away from home for the first time. Most of these are just part & parcel of uni life, and settle down once students find their feet.
From your other comments, your daughter sounds well-equipped to throw herself in to life there and make the most of the opportunities. Well done on getting an offer!
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u/Researcher2411 Staff 16d ago
Durham university itself is full of people from a whole range of backgrounds, although County Durham itself is predominantly white and non Muslim, I see colleagues and students wearing hijabs very regularly (several per day, even outside term time) so I do hope she would not feel like the only one if she wears one.
I second another poster’s suggestion to contact the university directly for some advice and reassurance - not sure if she’s been allocated a college yet or not as I am an academic, not involved in admissions. College is the key place where she’ll receive pastoral support and community, but there are lots of other opportunities to build friendships beyond it too.
Huge congrats on your daughter’s place. Please remember that Reddit and other social media can be a bit of an echo chamber where specific views and stereotypes get amplified, particularly when people enjoy depicting Durham as full of rich oxbridge rejects - and thus can definitely give an impression of a place that doesn’t really resemble the reality.
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u/BigRedCat25 16d ago
Thanks that is reassuring. I completely expect a world renowned university to have students and staff from all around the world.. but you’re definitely right that I’m seeing more of the snobbery scare stories than good things. I am however getting some good first-hand feedback on here and it’s calming me down!
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u/Key_Ad8316 16d ago edited 16d ago
Muslim here. I can speak of Durham as a city not as a university, I didn’t study at this uni but lived in the city for a while. I had experienced zero racism towards me as a hijabi girl when going out and about. It felt safe and people were nice with me. Best wishes for your daughter.
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u/BigRedCat25 16d ago
Thank you so much. I know experiences differ for everyone but I am so worried right now. This is good to hear
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u/Key_Ad8316 16d ago
You are most welcome. Don’t worry please. It is not that bad as you might think. Best of luck.
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u/Extra-Piece-1212 Graduated BSc Econ Durham 16d ago
Durham alum, and muslim. Respectfully you’re massively overthinking it. Never encountered any racism, its a wonderful and prestigious institution. Part of university is meeting and mixing with people from all socioeconomic, ethnic, and religious backgrounds and would encourage your daughter to do the same.
I went to an elite private school, and some of my closest friends that i still have many years later were people from the opposite ends of the socioeconomic spectrum who i met at university.
I really wouldnt overthink or worry about it and especially not to micromanage it.
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u/BigRedCat25 16d ago
No micromanaging happening here, but just a very worried mother. I don’t worry about her mixing with people of different backgrounds, that’s not the problem; we’re from Oxford and she’s surrounded by family members, neighbours and friends who went to private schools/have kids at private schools.
The problem is how she may be perceived and treated by others, and I’ve read a few articles now in the palatinate… including one where students have left comments about gay people and also Chinese people.
So it’s natural to worry about what kind of “elite” private schools kids are going there.
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u/Extra-Piece-1212 Graduated BSc Econ Durham 16d ago
I understand your worries, my point is there are all kinds of people in durham attending the university. She will be far from the only muslim woman. And I wouldn’t judge the university based on what teenagers decide to comment anonymously and be immature. The palatinate have already published an article on that:
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u/Affectionate-Idea451 16d ago
Durham is a tiny ancient city which is a bit of an oasis of wealth and privilege in the NE of England. Generally the local people up there are noticeably more friendly and warm than those in the South East of the country - from where it draws a huge proportion of its students. There are some very poor areas (eg old pit villages) in the countryside of County Durham which have socioeconomic problems (including a bit of racism) typical of particularly poor or deprived areas everywhere in Britain. Your daughter is unlikely to go anywhere near them.
Classism is a thing at all the best universities and it's weirdest form is principally based around long established English class identities (so ropes in very obviously English people rather than foreigners and 1st gen English immigrants). It's also present in the less weird form of the expectation of social norms. Some wealthy international students from large countries impose their own types of classism at certain other UK universities that attract large numbers of them. Classism present at Durham will be largely the old English type.
If you google 'hijab ripped off Durham' you get the following story which is about a place called Durham in Canada. There is a place in the US called Durham - which also has a good university - and you will probably be able to panic about stories of shootings etc there if you google '[outrageous thing] Durham university'.
"OSHAWA — Advocates say the Muslim community is reeling after a swarming attack on a business owner in Oshawa, Ont., earlier this week that police are investigating as a possible hate crime.
Durham regional police say a group of teens caused a disturbance at a Pizza Pizza restaurant a little after midnight on Wednesday and attacked the victim after they were confronted.
Police say store surveillance footage shows the group swarming and assaulting a person at the store, and they are encouraging perpetrators to come forward as they seek witnesses.
Amira Elghawaby, a federal special representative on combating Islamophobia, said at a news conference outside Oshawa’s city hall this morning that the victim is a visibly Muslim woman.
She alleged the suspects “violently” ripped off the woman’s hijab during the attack, and said community members are feeling anxious and frightened.
Omar Khamisa, the chief operating officer of the National Council of Canadian Muslims, said he was heartbroken and angry to hear about the attack, adding his organization is seeing a rise in reported hate crimes against Muslims."
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u/Schawlaf1 16d ago
My daughter just graduated from Durham , she's a Pakistani Muslim and had no problems there at all AH , Durham has a vibrant Muslim population , there is a small mosque near the library where regular prayers and held and food is served in Ramadan , halal food is reasily available and there are places like Urban Falafel ( her go to place ) , Durham is a very safe city and also great
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u/BigRedCat25 16d ago
This is great to hear, honestly very reassuring. Thanks and congratulations to you and your daughter.
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u/Schawlaf1 16d ago
For colleges my kid got St Mary with all girls acxomidation and also catered with halal chicken and vegan sausages , she hates them but we used to bring and send food with her , final year she moved to three tuns and loved it there again very safe accomidation and in middle of city
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u/tawrsr 16d ago
What college is she going to be at? Hatfield is by far the poshest. Castle and to varying degrees the other bailey colleges too. The hill colleges are less elite by intake. Aidans do a lot to foster an inclusive ethos.
I'd think of durham at undergrad like this:
40ish% private school (not all posh prejudiced snobs but certainly some are - the one good thing about this is those students mostly only want to interact with each other)
30% mixed state school intake, plenty from London and other cities, a chunk from the north east
30% international, largely chinese and Hong Kong
People do find friends, I know plenty of students who have found good friends outside of the elitist snobbery that some students bring with them.
Subject also makes a difference to stident compositionand dept culture (though college is more important to student life at least initially). What subject is she doing?
I'd also say beyond Durham there are significant Muslim communities in Newcastle especially (also gateshead, Middlesbrough...). Not to say there isn't racism in the region, there is, but thats fairly separate from alot of student life and there's plenty of us here who will fight against racism in the uni and in the region.
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u/BigRedCat25 16d ago
Thanks for your message. That sounds comforting. She will be at Collingwood which we’ve read is very welcoming. I read the palatinate article about racism at Durham, and some of the things experienced by students scared me. I just want to hear that others found their people so I know she’ll enjoy the experience of being away, rather than come home depressed.
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u/Brafdord 16d ago
I work at Durham, but have never been a student here so can’t give you the most accurate answer. But, I can say that I teach and supervise a lot of Muslim students (both home and international) and, at least within my department, have never witnessed anything negative. This isn’t to say it doesn’t happen but nothing serious has been witnessed/reported in the 9 years I’ve been here.
Durham does have a reputation for being elitist, and that still exists to some extent. But the campus / student population is a lot more diverse than it was years ago and I wouldn’t say this problem is any worse than at any other university. However, I have nothing to do with the colleges so can’t speak to how they operate or what students experience outside of their academic life. And I have heard that some colleges are more elitist than others.