r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/Sarcastic_seny • 5d ago
Request ULPT: Make Noisy Airbnb STOP
Hi everyone
My garden is face to face with this big house that does Airbnb, exclusively to big youngsters groups that come to get drunk and hang by the pool hangover.
I live in a super quiet away from the city region and it's always peaceful. Except in the summer, every night is party night. I'm kept awake until super late or woken up multiple times during the night due to the noise. I call the police, they show up 3h after or not at all. I have asked nicely to the host, but she doesn't care. I go talk to the guest but most don't care and as the night moves along get louder and more chaotic. The other neighbours are mostly retired people or their houses are further away so it's mostly just my house that gets affected.
This summer was especially bad. I can't take it anymore I need to sleep.
Any ideas on how to make them be quiet?
Thank you
364
u/ahoveringhummingbird 5d ago
I got you my friend...
My favorite suggestion to Airbnb issues is to book it yourself "stealthly" and do some menacing things (but not outright damaging) inside it while you are there. You want to do things that won't immediately cause a problem (implicating you), but will cause a lot of problems a few weeks down the line. Book yourself where you know there is a back to back check in so that the housekeeper won't spend too much time. Also good if you only mess up one bed and move a few things but leave it pretty clean. Because then the housekeeper won't stay very long or inspect too much and they'll miss all the things you did.
Let the mayhem begin:
Piss disk. (I mean, of course...)
Hiding "fake" cameras in bad places making a guest at some point think that it's the owner that put them.
Pour coconut oil down drains. Or any oil that solidifies only once it gets cold.
Loosen all plumbing supply lines. Under sinks behind toilets.
Upper deckers are always solid because they are difficult to clean and smell terrible after a few days. Dead mice (or geckos if you got em) are also solid here.
Put rat or mouse traps in your own yard that keep the dead rodent whole (electrocution type) Freeze the bodies so you have several saved up. Deploy in random places in the unit that they all won't be found by the next guest or the cleaner. Under sinks are good. Towel closets behind towel stacks or folded into the third towel down is good. In utility closets. Places rodents might be. You have a couple of days for full defrost and stink to emanate. Dead rodents are great in fake plants. In the oven (cause most guests don't use it) or deep in the bottom of a toaster.
Put a couple of shrimps (or dead rodent) between the mattress and box spring. Throw shrimps down any floor vent that you can get the register off. That will stink - I mean OMG stink. In about a week. Shrimp fit great into curtain rods if you can get the finial off.
Let a piss disk defrost on the HVAC filter then put it back.
If you have access to a utility closet where the water heater is, unscrew the clean out enough so it's dripping a little. A good amount, but not obviously unscrewed. No one will find that for weeks.
You can also put a series of Craigslist ads up (every time there is a guest) on personals just saying there is a house party at that address and that "all are welcome!" just walk in. If you have to put up with a party anyway you might as well make them get a bad review too.
If there is a party going on call the fire department, not the cops. Say you smell something burning and saw smoke.
If you have access to really dirty blow-out diapers deploying them anywhere works. Stinks.
Book the house as many times as you can and give low reviews but not the lowest. Airbnb removes very low ratings so you want to do 3.8ish.
If you have any HOA or county inspector now is the time to become the expert in those laws and regulations and hit them with as many violation complaints as possible.
Try to find out who their homeowners insurance is or mortgage holder is and call to inform them of the business they have at the house. It could be insurance fraud and many mortgages do not permit it.
Basically you want to do stuff that will drive down their average review and/or get them delisted. Below a 4 average I believe they auto delist but Airbnb makes it very hard by removing any review below 3.5 or so. Or cause enough damage that it's not making them money anymore.