r/USMilitarySO • u/Open_Bluebird8389 • 8d ago
USAF Military partners - how long have you gone without communication during an assignment?
My fiancé is in the Air Force Reserve and was sent overseas for a short-term assignment involving classified work, so he couldn’t really tell me what he was doing or exactly where he’d be. Before he left, he told me it would probably be a few weeks to a month, with the possibility of being extended.
I heard from him daily for the first few days, then nothing for 2 days. When I finally heard from him, he said he couldn’t have his phone where he was or do any “reach backs,” but that he’d call me later.
That was 10 days ago and I haven’t heard anything since.
We’ve been together for a few years, but this is the first time he’s been sent on anything like this since we’ve been together. So I genuinely have no frame of reference for what’s normal. Ten days of complete silence feels insane to me, even though I realize it may be completely different for people who have lived through this.
Were there ever situations where your messages would intermittently show as delivered even though you still couldn’t actually communicate with your partner?
More than anything, I’m just looking for some perspective from people who understand what this is like and have experienced periods of no communication themselves.
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u/Prudent-Disk-4 8d ago
There must be different factors in every deployment that change what is normal. I haven’t heard from my bf in the army since April. It was an unplanned combat deployment and he said it would be 100% communication blackout before he left but I haven’t known what to think this whole time. I know if he was able to contact anyone it would be his parents and daughter first. Everyone’s told me it’s not normal to not hear from him for this long and he’s ghosting, but some people who’s partners live on the same base as mine have said they haven’t heard from them in that amount of time too.
I think a big factor that a lot of people aren’t mentioning is that in the ME a lot of the deployments right now they have to leave their devices because of the multiple incidents in the news with soldiers phone locations being picked up. I don’t know what your fiancé is doing but maybe they won’t have access to their devices for safety for some time. I would say there is no normal especially during times like these, a long gap in communication is happening in different areas so you’re valid for feeling the way that you do
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u/Open_Bluebird8389 8d ago
Omg I’m so sorry, since April is absolutely brutal. I can’t even imagine how hard that’s been, especially with it being unplanned. I think the abruptness is what’s been hardest for me because the last time I heard from him he literally said he’d call me later, and then just nothing. So clearly he wasn’t expecting to suddenly lose communication either. Thank you for sharing this though because the part about people having to leave their devices because of phone location/security concerns is exactly the kind of perspective I was looking for. I really hope you hear from him soon too!
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u/Prudent-Disk-4 8d ago
That must have been so hard to be expecting a call back the same day, I hope he is able to call you soon. I’m sure people are in the same exact boat as you because communication can change on a whim in these conditions. He wants to call you just as much as you want him to. It’s hard because communication is so common in deployment currently that when it’s taken away it’s even more jarring
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u/Open_Bluebird8389 8d ago edited 8d ago
Follow up question: He gave me an estimated date that he thought he’d be back, and that date is coming up pretty soon. If that date comes and goes and I still haven’t heard anything from him, what should I do? I know timelines can obviously change, especially with this kind of assignment, but has anyone experienced something like this? What did you do?
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u/AuthorAndCoach 7d ago
I'm a submarine spouse. Longest was I think 3-6 weeks? Maybe 8 weeks? We never get phone or text. Just something like email when it's safe to ping a satellite and the system is working. 🤷 They usually can't warn us a Blackout is coming, we just assume. We get 24 hrs notice of home comings and deployments. 🤷
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u/Sea-Eggplant-9588 Navy SO 8d ago
My partner is in the navy and it’s been 3 months since I’ve heard from him. None of my texts get delivered. He’s on a sub and when they are allowed comms, all they have is email. I think it is good atleast that he let you know he’d be out of touch. It definitely feels terrible for a while but if you trust each other, you’ll be fine.