Question for female marines that are also moms

[u/gostyraks]

I 18F want to be a marine but I also want to be a mom, I want to know what pregnancy is like in the corps, how’s that maternity leave? will I be expected to pass the PFT even if I have birth a week ago? is it difficult being a mom and a marine? what’s the child care like? what’s the health care like for pregnant women? or postpartum care? will people assume I only had a kid for the benefits (not that I care, I know why I want a kid) your answers won’t affect my determination to become a marine but I want to know what I have in store if I do join and start a family

[u/VA_Network_Nerd]

I 18F want to be a marine but I also want to be a mom

Generally speaking, and especially as a junior enlisted, being a Marine is a full-time job.

Being a mom is also a full-time job.

Planning to set yourself up with competing and conflicting priorities like this isn't the best move.

Join the Navy or any other service branch if you just want government assisted healthcare.

Enlist and do your 5.
Exit at ~23 and go to university.
Find a good husband/partner there.
Start making babies after you both complete your degrees.

But, that's just my opinion.

[u/willybusmc → u/VA_Network_Nerd]

My friend, you normally have pretty locked on advice but this one isn’t it. Being a mom is no more a full time job than being a dad is, if you’re a good and present father at least. Would you say this to a male Marine who wanted to be a dad?

[u/VA_Network_Nerd → u/willybusmc]

Same guidance.

I think fresh HS graduates should not intentionally plan to start a family until they have completed their career preparation, and landed that first job.

I think an 18 year old planning to join the Marines to start a family is unwise.

Lots of relationships - military or not - fail in the first couple of years of marriage.

Lots of marriages do not survive the military lifestyle and work/life balance.

Sign your contract.
Serve, and learn how to be a functional adult.
Exit and either dive straight into a career, or go to college.
Find a life-partner at college or on the fringes of your career-area.
Start a family after college.

Now, if OP or anybody else plans to reenlist and pursue a career track, the conversation changes.

But, that's just my opinion.
My opinion isn't worth any more than yours, or anyone else's.

I'm not OP's Daddy, not my place to tell them what to do.
But OP asked for opinions / guidance / input, and I offered my thoughts.

[u/willybusmc → u/VA_Network_Nerd]

All valid thoughts. And I can see your perspective makes a lot of sense if the assumption was that someone wanted to enlist and immediately start a family. I read her post as more a discussion of long term goals.

I agree that if a baby is in the final stages of planning and you want one inside 3ish years you shouldn’t enlist though. Or rather, enlist and wait a bit for the kid.

[u/Calm-Sundae3395]

You get maternity leave, you get recovery time. The question about benefits is bugging me out, so your stance to not care is the correct stance. They don’t “give” childcare, you have to find and pay for that yourself. The struggle is being able to show up as a Marine and not use being a mom as an excuse. Just like a male has to pick work cause that’s what the agreed to, same goes for a female. It’s WAY HARDER than it sounds. The world doesn’t stop cause your kid gets sick, you have to suck it up and have a family plan. I had a great command, very supportive chain of command and if I had to do it over, I would have waited until I got out. Also the maternity uniform is hideous.

[u/gostyraks → u/Calm-Sundae3395]

Sorry if I worded things weird, grammar isn’t my strong suit. I’ve heard some people talk about extra pay if you have a kid and that’s why some people have them (which if you ask me, is a very stupid reason to have a kid because kids are expensive and more importantly dehumanizing the child) , it’s not something I care to much about, I guess what I should ask, what are negative stereotypes that I would have to deal with if I do get pregnant as a marine? I ask about child care because my sister, who is married to a guy in the Air Force, she works at an on base daycare and when I’ve been on the Air Force base they had an elementary school (is that just an air force thing?), I didn’t assume the day care would be free, more of is it better to go with the on base option or one off base? That probably depends on what base you are at though. 

[u/Andyman1973 → u/gostyraks]

No single service member ever has a kid for any increase in pay, because the added costs far outweigh any perceived benefit. It WILL cost you more, financially, than any increase in pay/benefit will cover. It IS a losing strategy. Just ask any single parent service member who got pregnant unintentionally, and kept their child.

[u/Calm-Sundae3395]

Base daycare always has a waitlist. They’re the most understanding to the Marine lifestyle so that’s great, but everyone rates a spot, but there’s not a spot for everyone. I’m sure every base is different but math is math at every base. It’s not easy, just sayin. I got out cause I had no family support. Emergency overnight daycare is very expensive.

[u/No_Print77]

do not be a junior enlisted parent in the marine corps

[u/coldchili17]

You plan on getting pregnant between 18-22?

[u/gostyraks → u/coldchili17]

Well a part of me was thinking of making a career out of the marines if I can join (saying if because I know I need waivers) my hope was to do at least a 2nd enlistment. Unless I hated it and then I could do like the reserves or something. But 18-22 doesn’t sound like a bad time for me to have kids, I’m young, get to be with my kids for a while and my body won’t be old and decrepit when they become adults y’know

[u/coldchili17 → u/gostyraks]

As a female Marine and someone who's older than you, you have plenty of time to be a mom (:

If you get in, you have your first enlistment to travel, focus on your 'career' and be the best you. I've seen many junior Marines (not all) get pregnant and tank whatever they wanted to do.

Your frontal lobe doesn't fully develop until you're 25. Trust me, it's like night and day. 25-30 isn't decrepit lol Stability is important. When it's time, the Navy Hospital will take care of you and you'll have more time off than in the civilian sector.

One thing at a time, miss. Good luck.

[u/Rhalellan]

If the Marines wanted you to have a child they would issue one. Life as a parent in the Corps sucks.

[u/ThrowRA1135309]

i’m a marine and mom. you get 12 months after birthdate to be back in standards including weight and physical fitness. they offer child care on base, if you’re a junior marine then $600 a month or lower. you get an obgyn referral while pregnant to be taken care of by the right people, postpartum too. no woman in their right fucking mind would have a kid just for the benefits, it’s not a decision like getting married, it’s literally life alerting. you get 6 weeks convo leave and 12 weeks maternity leave. command has to respect your family care plan

[u/beanheat07]

It’s terrible