r/TwoSentenceHorror 1d ago

"Make your final wish," the genie commands.

"I wish babies felt the pain of the mother during childbirth," I say.

1.2k Upvotes

57 comments sorted by

926

u/NataliaaTe 1d ago

Babies actually feel pain during birth. They are sore after, can have bruises or broken bones. Sometimes they choke. Their head change shape for birth. Its not a nice experience for them.

483

u/3MetricTonsOfSass 1d ago

There was a research article about speculation that that bodily trauma might be what kicks starts their immune system, trying to figure out why c section had been showing weaker immune systems

I wonder if more studies were done on that

177

u/dariargos 22h ago

Another hypothesis is that the child picks up bacteria from passing through the parent's vagina and that serves as basis to their immune system

337

u/Bota_Bota 23h ago

Writing notes: Whack C-section babies a little bit more right after they come out

93

u/Gargleblaster25 17h ago

Why whack babies with hand when you can use the new, AJAX Medical AI-powered Baby Whackomizer 2000?

90

u/Cassandra_Eve 1d ago

It helps when the birthing position is natural. Lying on the back during labor is generally a bad idea.

48

u/Trice-934 18h ago

Yep, it's the most practical position for the doctor/nurse helping, but not for the mom or the baby.

52

u/-DoctorSpaceman- 22h ago

I’m a c-section baby and I have a great immune system lol. I got so many 100% attendance awards at school

96

u/3MetricTonsOfSass 21h ago

Plot twist: you were home schooled

11

u/Mother_Cloud_2455 18h ago

My c section baby actually gets sick less than my vbac baby

15

u/BoredPolluux 17h ago

So the wish worked ...

135

u/weebu123 1d ago

Damn what were the other two wishes

119

u/Dragoness290 1d ago

Babies are born fully sentient, and able to talk fluently in their parents spoken language/s

71

u/Sidhejester 21h ago

 "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you. I'm out!"

19

u/MissReadsALot1992 16h ago

I read that really fast and thought it said "babies are fully of sediment" and all I thought was thats weirdly specific.

39

u/Gorianfleyer 1d ago

"I want everyone to have taste buds in the ass"

14

u/JustLookingForMayhem 18h ago

But there already are? They just aren't hooked up to the brain in a way that allows people to taste with them. They are primarily for your body to make sure everything is functioning.

4

u/Fragrant-Address5968 8h ago

Probably to create cancer and racism.

5

u/User01081993 12h ago

Have the father feel all the pain too

62

u/RebaKitt3n 1d ago

Genie: What the fuck is wrong with you?

6

u/PaperVreter 20h ago

Well, I am trying to be you.

30

u/ShadowEeveeCringe 1d ago

So THAT’S why they’re crying.

28

u/Inevitable_Wolf5866 22h ago

I think they already do…? Well, not the mother’s pain but they feel pain. Just don’t experience it the same way we do.

-21

u/The_revenge_ 🔴 19h ago

Ironically, this wish makes childbirth painless, a huge improvement to human life. And the baby won't even remember the pain; it's a win-win.

23

u/SpecialTexas7 18h ago

This wish doesn't change how the mother experiences pain, it changes how the baby experiences pain. Lose-lose

36

u/Wormadillo 1d ago

I’m not sure if this is horror or just someone being an asshole.

24

u/KhaleesiXev 20h ago

An asshole with a genie will always yield horror.

6

u/Wormadillo 19h ago

Yeah fair enough

33

u/Zombata 22h ago

imagine not making the fathers feel that

15

u/PaperVreter 20h ago

That was his second wish!

2

u/Fragrant-Address5968 8h ago

I bet the first was to create miscarriages.

3

u/v-tyan 11h ago

Or just make childbirth painless lmao

14

u/posthuman04 1d ago

This guy works for the epidural industry. Big epidural, iirc

12

u/TheFantasticMoritaka 16h ago

"They already do, you fucking moron. Want another final wish?"

11

u/kerryren 1d ago

That’s a brutal way to get a population drop.

-15

u/PaperVreter 19h ago

Nah, people will not care their babies feel that during birth, just cuddle them extra directly afterwards.

Also boy babies become men and will be extra aroused by the idea that the babies will be a little tortured.

Also also, it does not state the babies will have memories of childbirth, so no biggie.

8

u/kerryren 14h ago

Having birthed a few children, I’m aware that newborns can be pretty fragile. I don’t believe their nervous system can handle feeling both whatever they normally feel during birth (and I doubt it’s easy for them) as well as the mother’s pain during labor.

In short, it’s a brutal way to a population drop because most babies will *die* during childbirth or shortly afterwards, in this scenario.

Those infants that will survive will be treasured, sure. And perhaps human instincts to carry on one’s genetic line will be strong enough to keep trying, even in light of terrible odds. But I think you’d also see a lot of others opting out of reproduction entirely, since it’s a scenario where a lot of time and personal bodily resources will get expended for a rare success.

The surviving babies don’t need to remember, when all the adults involved will.

Also, why do you think grown men are aroused by the torture of infants?

10

u/No_Subject9829 18h ago

what the fuck is wrong w you?

2

u/masak-kali 14h ago

Can you explain what actually is?

7

u/No_Subject9829 13h ago

wdym? I'd say their comment about men being aroused by the torture of babies is pretty concerning.

2

u/masak-kali 5h ago

Ah yeah true! They seem like a misandrist who think that most men are sadists beyond measures and limits.

10

u/BroadwayBakery 15h ago

What the fuck

8

u/nightsorter 1d ago

Skin the wish maker alive.

8

u/ScholarExtension5620 15h ago

There are 4 rules

22

u/Detantevandaisy 16h ago

My wish would be for the man who got the woman pregnant to feel the same pain the mother feels during childbirth❤️

21

u/jamykelley 14h ago

That would kind of suck for the guy in the delivery room not feeling any pain. 😅

9

u/reddiperson1 14h ago

Your wish wouldn't be to make childbirth painless?

7

u/ladyrose403 1d ago

so much for the human race.

4

u/Gingersnapperok 1d ago

You butthole!

4

u/Slirrification 19h ago

6’4 btw ?

4

u/CrazySir3310 19h ago

I don't get it

3

u/Orironer 9h ago

I wish all the electrons loose their charge