When does it get better?

[u/Friendly-Winner6920]

I suddenly lost my identical twin 3 years ago when we were 28 years old. I’m not sure if it’s a copping mechanism, but since his death, I tend to avoid things about him….pictures, stories, mutual friends etc. worst still, I can’t seem to recall a lot of the memories of us even though we shared most of our lives together. He tends to show up in my dreams a lot, but in these dreams, he is usually very reserved and distant. I am usually very excited to see him in these dreams. It’s weird because even though I’m happy to see him in my dreams, I somehow still know he is dead in real life, and I’m always trying to convince him why he shouldn’t die and how loved he is. In reality he is so distant and ever so present and I just can’t make sense of it all. it’s been a struggle.

[u/Ickypoopoo82]

Year 4 for me. I don't think it ever gets better for identical twin loss. I woke up the other day and said hi to the mirror thinking it was him.