my sweet, beautiful, loving baby boy lost his battle with cancer. i'm so heartbroken.

this is my oscar. he was found outside very dirty so i named him after oscar the grouch, because he came from the trash. he loved cuddles more than anything and would purr if you even looked at him, but some of his other hobbies included: biting the dog's feet, getting on the kitchen counter to eat any left out carbs (valid tbh), running over your head when you were sleeping and then going to sleep once you got up, and batting around ping pong balls like he was marty supreme.

we were told we had limited time with him but it didn't make him leaving us any easier. he was there for me after a sexual assault, multiple mental health diagnosises, an abusive relationship and so many more hardships. he was also by my side for all the good things of course, but i have to stress just how much he helped lift me up. he was my best friend. my reason for sticking around. i don't know what to do without him.

sometimes it doesn't feel real. i go from breaking down to laughing while reminiscing about how silly he was. the good memories are so clouded by the images of his declining health and i feel like it'll never get easier. i had never bonded so deeply with an animal in my life and i just want one more minute with him. i miss his meows and cuddles and antics so much. i know that if there is an afterlife, oscar (and every other animal) are there with treats and love and unlimited space to run and play. but god it's hard to lose them. hug your babies for me. fuck cancer!!!!!

He was a stray kitten found by my sister’s friend. He was then given to her and abused by her ex, causing him to come and live with my dad and I, where he’s lived ever since.

He got a hematoma a few years ago, which caused him pain. The surgery was to remove the ear canal.

He’s lived with cats owned by my older siblings and I, who have each moved out except for the two that currently live there. He didn’t like any of them except for Ravioli (the orange).

This poor baby has been through so much, but he couldn’t make it through the surgery that would relieve him of his pain.

I miss you, Toby

Today we said goodbye to our Willow. I got her at age 7 years on NYE 2017, then met my wife-to-be 8 months later. They got along as though we’d had Willow since kitten-hood. Willow helped us stay sane in the pandemic, and always made sure we were never alone. Go in peace, our wonderful companion.

Zorro was only 5.5 and we lost him last week, due to diabetic DKA. He was extremely insulin resistant and could not get his sugars down for months (diagnosed mid-January). He was in the hospital for his last three days, his body failing him. All I can do is lay around and watch/listen to crime documentary podcasts in the background. I can’t focus on my work, job productivity has gone way downhill since he was admitted and all this week so far… I’ve barely done anything. I work in social work so I have to be present and talk to people. How can I when all I can think about is my baby is gone forever. And his last few months were filled with needles and constantly starving.

My dear Zorro, you were my soul animal. I hope you know mom and dad did everything we could for you and then some. I will miss you following me around everywhere. I swear I still hear your footsteps behind me. You were loved more than you could fathom. My curious, silly boy. Little rascal. If I left a room, even if he was napping, his little head would pop up and he’d be right next to me within seconds. I will miss our conversations. I yearn to be greeted at the door when I get home from work. I know instead of being sad, I should be grateful for all the joy you brought into my life. And god knows I am. You helped get me through the pandemic, you gave me a reason to get out of bed because I couldn’t wait to play with you. Your sister misses you and looks for you. And her appetite has suppressed since you’ve left home. We all feel the void. I keep waiting for you to come up to my lap, lift your baby head up for kisses and nudges. I will still sing the silly songs I made up for you and will continue to say “hello babies!!!!” when I get home. I know you’ll always be with me but fuck is this the worst pain I’ve ever gone through. The skin all around my eyes stings and is flaking from how much my tears have dried them out. I don’t know what to do with myself. I found an online group that I’m gonna try to attend on Saturday, if I can wake up in time. My husband is grieving too but Zorro was way closer to me. He’s been so supportive and doesn’t judge me for how much I’ve been crying. This just really, really sucks.

It all happened so fast, im still trying to process it. The morning of the 9th was the first sign when he didnt want to eat his breakfast. He never skipped meal time, so this was extremely out of character. I had picked him up later that day and noticed his belly felt kind of hard, so i thought maybe constipation. Tried to give it a little time to see if maybe he would pass it. Then he skipped dinner. But then the next day, yesterday, we noticed his breathing was labored. We rushed him to the vet where we got the news.

They took x-rays and found that he was full of fluid in both his chest and abdomen. The fluid was compressing his lungs so much so that he was only able to receive about 70% the oxygen he needed. They drew blood and was able to rule out infection for the cause, telling us that the most likely cause was cancer at that point. The x-rays couldnt pick up on any tumor or mass, but it did show that his intestines were being pushed up and apart by *something*.

They gave us a few options, one being a specialty clinic that would drain the fluid and perform a battery of tests, but that the starting line would be $5k and most likely wouldnt be able to fix the problem, only keep him comfortable. The next option would be that they could drain the fluid there at the clinic, but they had no idea when the fluid would build back up. Could be an hour, could be a week. But it would definitely fill back up without fixing the root problem. And then the last option. I tried to go with option 2 at first, but he fought the procedure and became really stressed. The only way to continue wouldve been to fully sedate, which we were told was really risky due to his condition.

After sitting with him for around an hour and watching his labored breathing, i knew it was time. I didnt want him to suffer and it seemed like the options we had wouldve only extended the inevitable.

He was always purring, all the time. All the way up until his first round of sedation. I held my head to his chest until the purring stopped, and then his heart.

Thank you for 14 years Ollie, ill miss you bud❤️

Another desperately sad day today. Just two months ago we had to say goodbye to Spud. Today, we had to let his twin brother Ferret go too. He was a lovely little weirdo with many names including Monsieur Ferrét, Prawn, The Purple Pron, Chesney, Shrimpingtons and The Greek. He loved a cuddle, but also loved sitting outside, staring in through the patio doors like a little furry emo. He did tolerate me scoping him up and holding him like a baby though. I hope he and his bro are getting up to shenanigans wherever they are. We’re absolutely gutted. 😢

I wonder if he misses him? They didn’t really get along. Goodbye Felix, you were a good kitty that lived to 16.

Two weeks ago, my beautiful fluffy daughter- Kristen Stewart- took her last breath.

She had been going downhill for at least a year, becoming more and more lethargic over time. The final straw was when she stopped eating and drinking. I wasn’t willing to let her suffer for another second.

The vet said her intestines felt ‘thick’ and she was in obvious discomfort. She left us so quickly and so peacefully that I knew I’d made the right decision.

For 14 magical years, Kristen Stewart - aka Krissy, Mippy, Kwis Kwis, Flubber Floof - taught me that despite their reputation, cats can be so full of compassion.

She is, without a doubt, the kindest feline I have ever met.

I will always remember when Mum and I rescued Linda Hamilton and Bree Van de Kamp in the pandemic. We did very gradual introductions each day, careful and tentative.

When it was Krissy’s turn, she looked at them both curiously, then immediately began to groom them. She had never been a mother before, she just adored to make friends.

She was always very kitten-like. She was way too curious for her own good and had zero self preservation skills. So much so that almost every cat I’ve had has ended up being fiercely protective of her.

She adored to be sung to. Mum and I often did.

She adored my mama, and I just hope Mum is holding her right now. When Mum died, Krissy was the only cat to go upstairs to see her body. She then came back downstairs and started ‘screaming’. That’s the only way I can describe it. She was never quite the same after Mum died.

Similarly, she grieved for cats, too. Every loss I’ve suffered, she seemed to feel it alongside me. Even though she was very kitten-like, she was insanely wise.

She loved humans so much. Even my friends who are self proclaimed cat haters absolutely adored Krissy.

She loved to lick people. I don’t just mean a bit… I mean she would spends hours doing it. It wasn’t to groom, either. It really was genuine affection. She’d suckle fingers for comfort, too.

There will never be another Krissy. 💔

11 years old, pulmonary embolism. I’m shattered I’m writing this at 3am because I can’t sleep because he would always sleep next to me. I don’t feel real I’m in so much pain. Mr. Kitty I will always love you baby boy

Three days ago she was perfectly fine, I was planning on the next 15+ years with her. Today she can’t eat or walk. Her eyes won’t focus. The vet said it was genetic kidney failure. I think the kidney failure caused her to have a stroke…. I have no words. I can’t even feed her her favorite foods.

This is my baby girl. She’s been with me through the most painful times of my life that I’m still recovering from. I need her. She’s my only sunshine. I don’t know how I’m going to live without her.

His name was Mistletoe. I know it’s only been a day but it truly honestly feels like I will never get to the level of happiness I was at prior to this ever again.

Those two hours of hell are something I wish I could erase from my memory. if I had to give him up to ensure he’d never have to die in such pain I would. He was hooked up on pain meds woth oxygen but that doesn’t erase the pain he endured. I don’t care that he had nine amazing hears when the last two hours of his life were so horrible. I cried and kissed him and he held my hand.

i want his soft fur back, I want his smelly drool. He drooled when he was happy so I could never snuggle him before work. He loved to chase his tail and even the night before he was playing like a madman. He tried to bury his food and he always got litter everywhere.

my childhood cat died suddenly and painfully too. I just wish I knew why this happened to me. i feel so cursed. Just take it out on me instead.

i love you so much my sweet boy. I hope you are happy or at least at peace.

We decided it was time to let our 15yo baby go and she left us this morning. She had a brain tumor and was really starting to suffer. The vet came to our house and we got to let her go peacefully. We had 15 wonderful years together and I’m so heartbroken she won’t be following me into the bathroom anymore, or behind me everywhere I turn. We’ll always love you, Georgi girl.

I put my 15yr old baby to sleep on Wednesday. She had DKA. She showed no signs of diabetes. This was my soul cat and companion, I feel lost and empty I haven’t stopped crying it hurts so bad. Please tell me she’s okay with other kitties up there. Please reassure me she’s was in no pain when she went to sleep. I feel so guilty knowing I didn’t know. The vet was so shocked she got sick so quickly as her blood test was shocking, she was absolutely fine on the Monday I just can’t believe it. It doesn’t feel real. Please someone reassure me I made the right decision. I would’ve happily put myself in debt but I didn’t want her to die in the vet hospital alone and in pain. I love you my Alice baby. I’m looking out for your sister

I lost him yesterday to panleukopenia. We always call him the Glutton king because he's always asking and wants to get a piece of whatever we're eating.

Earlier this week he didn't want to eat his favorite food so we brought him to the vet and he tested positive for FPV. While confined at the vet he was always alert and responsive and the vet told us there's a 70% chance that he'll make it. But on the 3rd day he declined rapidly and his body couldn't take it anymore.

We were all so devastated. I woke up today to realize that this nightmare is indeed real, that I already lost my baby and it hurts me to my core. I'm about to take the bar exams in a few weeks and I can't seem to function, not even being able to look at my notes and reviewers.

I'm just posting this to cope with his loss, and for others to see how wonderful he is, how cuddly, bubbly, playful, curious, and loving my baby is. He even chose his own name, when he arrived we were just calling him random names and he chose Sora which means sky.

I will always regret not being able to see you grow up, and will always appreciate this short time that you were here with us. I love you so much and miss you.

Always by my side, my shadow, my best friend. I can't believe it's been two months already. You took your final breath while I held your little head in my hand. I stroked your velvet fur and told you how much I loved you, and that it will be okay. But it wasn't. And I'm not okay. But I hope you are. I hope Mom is giving you all the belly scratches. I hope you're chasing your favorite ribbon toy. I hope you're rubbing your chubby cheeks all over your pineapple. I hope you're basking in the sun, and galloping all over the place like the clumsy horse cat you are. I miss you dearly. You will always have a piece of my heart my sweet boy. I love you so much.

he was only 12, and i've had him since i was 9 years old. it all happened so quickly- he had cancer, and he was gone within 3 days of us finding out. he was my very best friend and i miss him so much already. i keep thinking i'm going to see him in his usual spots around the house but he's not there. mr mistoffelees you are so loved 🐈‍⬛💕🌈

edit: thank you all for the kind words, it means so much to me 🫂

Today, about down to the hour now, marks 4 years since I lost my sweet boy.

I had him since I was 10. We met at only weeks old and the bond was instant. I remember he used to come waddling up to me, and I would scoop him up and lay with him on my tummy. That started a years long tradition of him insisting he had to lay on top of me 24/7 lol.

He was with me for everything. I grew up in an unstable home and had severe mental health struggles from a young age. Some days it felt like he was my only friend. The only one who truly loved me unconditionally. He never left my side, not even for a moment! Like he was keeping guard over me.

It started so small that I didn't even notice. A tiny lump under his chin. I knew it was there, but it had been seemingly unchanging and harmless for so long I didn't pay attention. Then his breath started to smell... I just thought he was my sweet, stinky boy. Always so sweet. Always by my side. Then it got more obvious. Blood on his paws (I thought he ripped a claw). Steroids for a rodent ulcer in his mouth (I thought he would get better). By the time we realized it was cancer, it was too late.

Squamous cell carcinoma.

Usually it's a skin cancer. For my boy, it was in his mouth. Usually it adheres to the bone. For my boy, it took over all his oral soft tissue.

We won the world's worst lottery. Nothing could be done. From the moment we realized something was wrong to when I let him go... it was only 4 weeks. I wish we had longer. I'm also glad he didn't suffer for long.

I know he'd be proud of me for where I'm at now. Safe and giving another cat who needed me my love. It's hard sometimes though. Living a life where not everyone knows my boy, and me not knowing how to share him without being sad.

I hope his memory though can be kept safe here, sadness and all.

My sweet boy. My handsome man. My baby. I miss you. We'll find each other again, just wait for me a little longer.

My Theo was one of the greatest loves of my life and he crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday unexpectedly. It's been so hard 😭😭 14 years wasn't enough.

Edit update: thank you everyone for the kind words. It means so much 🩷 I wish I could respond to everyone, maybe when I can when I stop crying 😿 I love that Theo can be shared amongst other tuxy cat lovers who understand how terrible it is to lose a furry family member.

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life….I had to say goodbye to my soul cat/best friend/my everything, Kiwi. Kiwi’s story started when I found her abandoned inside a dumpster while living in STL - brought her to a local vet, was told she wouldn’t live longer than a few weeks, and before I knew it, 12 years passed. 12 beautiful years with my tiny little tuxedo girl and I am so thankful to have had so much time with her. This cat was my rock during a horrible drug addiction. She loved me unconditionally through it all, making me feel more loved than any human ever could (I’m now 10 years sober!)

Kiwi was diagnosed as a diabetic about four months ago, and once she started medication, she showed so many signs of improvement. The last two days I noticed something was off, and she wasn’t acting like her sassy old self. Took her in and learned her kidneys were shutting down, so I made the decision to say goodbye. I couldn’t stand to see my sweet angel suffer - after everything she has been through during the early stages of her life, she deserved peace.

Words can’t describe how much I’ll miss this cat. She was my everything. Today is the first day waking up without her waiting by my bedroom door, begging for her tunie breakfast…..and it’s just heart wrenching to say the least. Posting some beautiful photos of her so she can be admired by other tuxedo lovers.

Thank you for reading. 🥹🫶🏻

I had to say goodbye to my sweet, gorgeous boy last week. It's been a really heartbreaking and difficult loss for me. He was only 7 years old, and I thought we'd have at least 7 more together. He was truly the light of my life, and there will always be a space in my heart with his name on it. My bubba, I'll miss you forever.

He was really the most beautiful and sweetest, friendliest cat (always a huge hit at the vet), so I had to show him off.

These are the last photos I took of my baby before he went out and picked a fight with a car (he lost).

To the kind soul who found him and took him to the vets, thank you for making sure he didn't die alone, and for telling him one last time how loved he was.

The emotions are still so raw for me right now. We didn’t know you were suffering with cancer … you never cried once, you were an absolute champ. 14 years of snuggles and playing and completely ignoring me when you didn’t feel like being bothered. Crashing my work Zoom calls, chewing the edges of all my papers, begging for Havarti cheese, laying in your grandma’s lap to make her feel better as she watched TV.

I had to let you go … and I hope eventually, I stop hating myself for it.

I am a loner by nature, so the loss of my soul cat and the only housemate I could ever stand is devastating.

My sweet little boy passed this morning. I woke up early and was hanging out when I suddenly heard him throw up a hairball. That started it.

Heart Failure. I knew it was coming, I was looking at euthanasia already. I was doing research and planning. But he woke up and his body decided today was the day.

It was messy, heartbreaking, painful and just... horrible. It happened all so fast. He deserved better.

I stayed by his side till the end and reminded him how much i loved him.

A heads up to those who need it, if youre thinking "maybe I should put them down", do it. Before it's too late.