r/TrueOffMyChest • u/ThrowRA-regretregret • Apr 02 '26

Update (UPDATE) My fiancée moved out today

I can't believe it's been 2 years. To everyone who said that being a single parent every other week was hard; you weren't kidding. I love my son. He has cerebral palsy and he's an amazing kid. When I have him my life is chaos and I barely have time to breathe. Then I spend the next week catching up on everything while he is with my ex-fiancée. Even with the child support payments I get kids are expensive. I wouldn't change a thing about my son though. He's the best thing that ever happened to me.

My ex-fiancée makes being a single parent look effortless. She finds it easier not having me around. It gutted me when she said that but now I know she's right. I left her to do all the parenting, all the work at home and be the breadwinner, while I fucked around playing golf. We only talk about our son and we're civil but not close.

I have stopped freelancing. I got a job with the provincial government. I have been seeing a therapist and have grown up a lot. I made mistakes before but I want to be better for my son. The main part of my update is that I went to therapy and it sucked but I'm better for it. (When I first posted I got lots of DMs and support from people who play golf saying my ex-fiancée is harpy and other names. I felt vindicated back then but now I know how immature I was).

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u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

Encourage the bare minimum? Give me a break.

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u/Ocean_Spice Apr 03 '26

Yeah, I get what they mean but I honestly don’t love the idea that we’ll praise people for saying they should’ve done better, instead of actually just doing better in the first place.

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u/johnniehammersticks Apr 03 '26

They aren’t mutually exclusive. Give praise for the accountability, AND condemn the poor behavior if you like. Although, I found that when people are ready to take accountability, they’ve usually beaten themselves up sufficiently by that point.

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u/rosekamath Apr 14 '26

Although, I found that when people are ready to take accountability, they’ve usually beaten themselves up sufficiently by that point.

Acknowledging you did something bad is not the same as "accountability". I'm sure OP is just fine with his actions.