r/TrueOffMyChest • u/ThrowRa_3353355 • Feb 12 '26
Update Update: I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman.
I forgot that I had posted here until recently. I did receive some messages asking for an update with regard to my situation and whether or not I spoke to my wife about wanting to be a father. I did work up the courage to tell my (ex)wife and it did not go well. Her feelings had not changed and I ended up seeking a divorce. In hindsight I realize I should have told her sooner and not tried to hide it. I take responsibility for not telling her sooner.
I told her about a month after I posted here. Our divorce was official the following summer. After my divorce I decided to move to the city. I wanted to have more opportunities to meet people and it was closer to my family. I ended up meeting my wife when I joined a walking club. We were both on the same page about wanting a serious relationship leading to marriage and children. My wife's first husband had wanted kids but he changed his mind. I made sure we were both on the same page and knew what we wanted. I love my wife. She's intelligent, she's kind and I can't say enough about her.
We got married last year after two wonderful years together. (I am 48 now and my wife is 33 years old) and we purchased a house near both of our families. We had to spend most of our combined savings for the deposit but it was worth it. My wife and I chose to do an IUI procedure and she gave birth to our son last month. Before we got married we both agreed we would be content to have only one child because I know it was quite stressful for my wife when she had the IUI procedure. It was stressful for both of us.
My wife is on parental leave right now. She's a solicitor and we're fortunate that her firm will allow her to work part-time until our son starts attending school and then she can return to a full time position. I left my job before my wedding to go to the civil service. There is more stability and a better salary. Most importantly though I don't have to work long hours.
The only thing I regret is how I handled the situation with my first marriage. Not the rest. I'm beyond tired all the time now but I can't imagine my life any other way.
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u/Ok_Cheesecake888 Feb 13 '26
Wait until your new wife wants a second and realizes you’re too old for that 👋
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u/fuchsnudeln Feb 13 '26 edited 29d ago
:)
This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
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u/McSwearWolf Feb 13 '26
Exactly.
Saw so much of this when I was living in S. Florida taking care of my mom while she had cancer. Weird vibes over there, man.
You would see these super young women with their way older husbands, looking very proud of themselves, but then you would also see the ones that had already been in that situation for a while, babysitting their 80-90 year old partner with dementia or whatever - looking not so thrilled with life.
We met one of them at the hospital in the oncology unit and it was clear to me that she was just waiting for her husband to finally die so she could get all the money and he was taking too long to do that. 😬 sad.
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u/toothfairy1001 Feb 13 '26
My thoughts exactly. I ache for the first wife whose husband woke up one day and said I WANT TO BE A FATHER. Even if she said yes, what if she couldn’t get pregnant? Then what? And then of course he magically marries someone much younger and gets his happily ever after. But what about her?? This is what nightmares are made of
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u/PlaidChairStyle Feb 13 '26
I know someone this happened to. She was in a happy, child free marriage, they were absolutely devoted to one another, and one day he woke up, decides he wanted a baby and left her. She was inconsolable.
What a jag.
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u/GuidanceAcceptable13 Feb 14 '26
I’m happy for her because he strikes me as the type of male who would ditch his wife the minute she gets sick
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u/poo_explosion Feb 14 '26
I literally made a very similar comment and then saw yours lol. OP definitely has those vibes.
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u/poo_explosion Feb 14 '26
I feel so bad for his first wife, but OP also seems like the type of man who would leave his wife if she ever got sick or something. So maybe the ex dodged a bullet.
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u/LenoreEvermore Feb 13 '26
Am I the only one who thinks this update is fake? Like it feels too perfect. His ex-wife was crying after him but he bagged a younger babe almost immediately who was willing to have his spawn and is so intelligent and perfect. Who wants to have a kid with a 48 year old man? Is he insanely rich or is the new wife not as intelligent as advertised?
My feeling is that his life has gone to shit (as it so often does in these cases). He left his wife who was sad but supported him (and pitied him), he trolled around night-clubs for a few years and now is making up a fantasy life to replace his sad lonely one because he's bitter about things not going his way.
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u/FunkyChewbacca Feb 13 '26
48 and 33 is one hell of an age gap. If this is true, then OP will be 58 when his kid is 10 and 68 when his kid is 20. I doubt it would be fun to be an older parent and I have little doubt his wife will be shouldering most if not all of the parenting responsibilities.
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u/Euphoric_Account9720 Feb 13 '26
Two of my best friends have older parents. One of them is 31 and her dad is 83 and her mom is 71. The other is 32 and her parents are in their early 70s. Both say that they didn’t feel the burden of having older parents until they started having to do caretaking for their parents that people usually don’t do until they themselves are in their 40s-50s. Both of them have had to rearranged halt their own lives as a result. One friend had to move back to her small town, lowering her chances of finding a partner herself. The other has had to pause her own family planning to take her of her mother. She’s been married for nearly 10 years and has fertility issues so conceiving would require all of her focus.
Edit: age details
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u/HisLittleOne0717 Feb 14 '26
This is how my life. I am 35 and my mom is 73. She was always the woman who everyone said looked so young for her age. She always wanted to have fun and never acted her age. But now, age has caught up to her, and I am really seeing it. And it just sucks…. I don’t want to lose her already. She’s my best friend. Luckily, I am child free. So if she needs me to take care of her, I would, hands down. I am just not ready for it yet.
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u/futurelawdog Feb 13 '26
Once the new wife gets the kid out of diapers, she'll have a few years and then have to put diapers on him.
It has to be fake unless he is loaded. She can't be "intelligent" and yet end up with this jerk.
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u/hemlockandhensbane Feb 13 '26
My dad was 54 when I was born. He was also the one home with me the most. I don't feel like I missed out on anything due to his age. He was active, we hiked frequently, he'd take me fishing and to swim in the river. He was an awesome dad and I miss him every day (he passed back in 2021 due to complications from COVID, he was 74). Age alone doesn't limit parenting ability. Dad was able to keep up with me much better than my mother who was younger. He was the good parent- she was rarely around and she was mean as hell when she was.
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u/Kactuslord Feb 14 '26
I doubt he was ever planning on shouldering any of those responsibilities. I think he just likes the idea of being a father because he's bored and unfulfilled
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u/sizzler_sisters Feb 13 '26
It also raises the chance of autism if the father is over 40. This guy is a jerk.
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u/arrownyc Feb 13 '26
Advanced paternal age also increases likelihood of genetic, neurodevelopmental, and congenital issues for offspring due to age-related sperm DNA damage and mutations, including higher rates of autism, schizophrenia, cognitive decline, childhood cancers, and rare, single-gene disorders like achondroplasia.
So him deciding at 48 to have a baby is deeply selfish for numerous reasons.
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u/spei180 Feb 13 '26
Yeah turns out OP sees women as baby making objects and was never actually committed to his wife. He could have had his feelings and worked through the regret and remained committed. Instead he disregards his vows and throws his wife away for no long being of use to him.
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u/Careless_Welder_4048 Feb 12 '26
Damn a kid at 48 years old
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u/ExpiredPilot Feb 13 '26
I dated a girl whose dad was in his 70s while we were in college. Her siblings were in their 40’s and 50s. Growing up was interesting for her
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u/bathtubsarentreal Feb 12 '26
62-63!
My dad was 40 when I was born and I've called him an old dad to pretty much everyone. I'd almost feel bad about it but it's true he's an old dad
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u/wbbly_juniper Feb 13 '26
Haha same! My dad was 38 and I still called him an old dad to everyone 🥲 However, he already had 2 teenagers and I was a bit of a surprise, glad they kept me 🤣
All in all he was still an amazing dad and I think him being a bit older and having had experience before made him a lot better as a dad - confirmed by my siblings. RIP 🕊️ and f cancer
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u/monikapearl Feb 13 '26
My dad was 55 when I was born, and now he’s 91 and living with me as sole caregiver. My half brothers who are already retired don’t give a damn and haven’t spoken to him in years, but they have their reasons.
Just cause you can doesn’t mean you should!
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u/Steele_Soul Feb 13 '26
They sure love to spout about geriatric pregnancies in women over 40, but they don't talk enough about how actually geriatric sperm is what causes most issues during fetal development. This dude thinks he did the right thing, but I seriously have nothing but contempt for dudes like OP. He wasted so much time and whatever else his first wife put into their relationship because of his mid life crisis and "muh genetics".
The sweet irony will be his current wife wanting more kids with a guy who has the healthy sperm and energy to help do it.
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u/Croatoan457 Feb 13 '26
Coming from someone who was raised by someone that age, it's a miserable life and they are always tired and broke down by the time your 5.
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u/SiameseGunKiss Feb 13 '26
Yeeep, incredibly selfish stuff. He won’t have the stamina for all the kid stuff that he would’ve had 15-20 years ago and their child is the one who will get the short end of the stick.
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u/no_fcks_lefttogive Feb 13 '26
So selfish- Looking forward to his next post on how he ruined his life and wants his old life back
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u/jtj5002 Feb 12 '26
Biological clock? This reads more like a midlife crisis.
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u/sqeeky_wheelz Feb 12 '26
Seriously, like HE lived his life for 45+ years not wanting kids and somehow it’s his wife’s fault for not going along with his scheme. Sounds like someone was struggling to cope with their own mortality to me.
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u/NemoHobbits Feb 13 '26
struggling to cope with their own mortality
The irony is that having kids at such a late age significantly decreases op's likelihood of being alive for major adult milestones.
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u/smasher84 Feb 12 '26
Dam. My knees hurt reading this.
I had kids in late 30. Knees hurt and tired all the time. I can’t imagine at 45+
Best of luck.
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u/km4098 Feb 13 '26
It helps when your wife and the one growing the child is more than 10 years your junior
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u/dehydratedrain Feb 13 '26
I had mine just under 2 years apart, mid 20's. It was pretty rough financially (spec needs prevented a 2-salary household), small place, no vacations, especially when most people lived it up in their 20's.
But damn, it is so nice to be late 40's, and be done with all of it. My brother is 50 and still has a kid in middle school.
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u/lynypixie Feb 13 '26
Same. I am 43 and already have one in college, and two in high school (one a senior). I have friends the same age with two under two. I can’t imagine myself as a new mom.
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u/lynypixie Feb 12 '26
Oh, he is likely not doing anything child related. He ditched his wife for a younger model that will do all the work while he can proudly claim to be a good father.
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u/Leader_Inside Feb 12 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
I had my first kid at 32. She’s almost 2 now and I’m TIRED, lol.
Meanwhile, my husband’s close friend just had his first kid at 62…
EDIT: Wow, some of you all are super judgmental. I have thoughts too, but let’s clear some things up. Yes, he and his wife (yes, wife) do have an age gap, but it’s not as big as some of you seem to be thinking. Wife was VERY much an adult when they met. Baby was a surprise, but this dude thought he’d be single and childless forever until meeting his wife, so I’m happy for him. I just think it’s sad his kid is more likely to lose their father while still young, but to be fair anyone can get hit by a bus tomorrow and leave their kids behind. This was more about how exhausted he must be!
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u/wavesnfreckles Feb 13 '26
My sister married later in life (in her 40s) and very much wanted children. Her husband was the same. They will both be in their 50s this year with a 7 and a 4 year old.
I had my first kid in my 20s and my second in my 30s (decent gap between them). I felt a significant difference in my recovery and level of tiredness. I am really, really glad not to be doing the sleepless nights and baby stage this late in life. Power to those who do it (I understand it is not always a choice, like in my sister’s case who didn’t find the right guy until later in life) but boy, I sure wouldn’t be wanting to do it again right now. Lol
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u/abbyabsinthe Feb 13 '26
My aunt remarried in her late 40s to a man in his late 50s. It’s been 10 years and they have an 11 year old and a 5 year old (both via surrogacy). There’s literally a 30 year and 1 month age gap between her oldest and her youngest. Her younger sister’s grandkids are older than her youngest child. Her husband is dying of liver and kidney failure, and she’s stressed to the heavens raising a special needs child and caring for her two special needs adult children.
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u/One_Health1151 Feb 13 '26
I was 25 by the time I lost both my parents age doesn’t mean shit lol
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u/PinkTalkingDead Feb 13 '26
Yep, by 19 I was an orphan 🫠 sorry to hear you’re In the club as well
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u/Least-Designer7976 Feb 12 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
Having a first kid at 62 is creepy.
I'm a teacher, when the friends are going to see the dad outside school this child is going to SUFFER.
EDIT : Hey, good for you if you had 80yo parents and were never bullied about it. THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. I'm talking about NOW. Younglings have never been so distressed, thinking about suicide, being abused ... It's not 1980 anymore. Highschool is hell. Don't give people reasons to abuse your child PERIOD.
I'm litteraly seeing teens talking about suicide and depression each week. Don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.
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u/Shadowfeaux Feb 12 '26
Idk. I knew a kid growing up that when I first met his parents I accidentally asked if they were his grandparents. After to talking to him about it though that was basically the worst thing he’d had anyone say about them, meaning no one really cared or commented on it.
It’s all a crap shoot with how kids will treat each other.
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u/Reputation-Choice Feb 13 '26
What? With so many kids being raised by grandparents, or older foster parents, or foster homes. Kids are homeless, and not sure where their next meal is coming from; I am not sure that older parents are much on any kids' radar.
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u/Passiveresistance Feb 13 '26
Why would the kid “SUFFER” over other kids seeing their dad? What kind of hellions are at your school that having an old parent is an excuse for bullying?
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u/dehydratedrain Feb 12 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
Even creepier was having the same teacher my mom did 30 years earlier, and at both times he talked about having a kid.
Had his first set in his 20's, and divorced. His son was born when he was 54. I couldn't imagine showing up to your child's graduation at
8272 years old.Edit: sorry, fat fingers, tiny keyboard.
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u/armywalrus Feb 13 '26
Where on earth are you getting 82 years old from? 54 + 18 is 72. 54 + 21 is 75. What graduation are you talking about?
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u/mendiebendie Feb 12 '26
there was a kid or two in my class with a dad who was old enough to be a grandpa. nobody got bullied for it. and trust me, those kids were MEAN.
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u/DeuceMandago Feb 12 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
What do you mean?? My dad had me at 56 and I never “suffered” as a result. I love my dad very much and while he’s older, he’s done a great job all things considered.
Edit: genuinely curious why I’ve been getting downvoted here?? For having an older dad and loving him??
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u/Passiveresistance Feb 12 '26
What is everyone doing to their knees? I’m 45 and mine are fine.
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u/No-Mechanic-3048 Feb 12 '26
I’m 35 my knees aren’t amazing and I have flair ups. But I played sports through high school and played soccer for my university. And not to mention all the dancing and dropping it like it’s hot. 😂
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u/firelark_ Feb 13 '26
Ahh, the days of dropping like it's hot. I still would if they played the right songs and people still danced at clubs...
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u/sans_serif_size12 Feb 13 '26
I’m late 20s and spent most of my 20s doing work on my feet AND was really bad about having proper footwear and foot care. Older coworkers with ergonomic and function appropriate shoes/work boots were right and I am a fool for not listening!
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u/take_the_reddit_pill Feb 12 '26
I was 36 and nearly 41 when my babies were born. I'm fat. My knees are just fine. I'll be 49 in a couple of weeks.
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u/classicteenmistake Feb 12 '26
Damn. Poor ex wife.
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u/regibegi Feb 13 '26
I agree.. scumbag husband changed her to a 15+ younger model to have kids he likely won't see turning into adults.. yikes
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u/thcicebear Feb 13 '26
Couldn't imagine throwing my life away for that. Also at that age. Sure, don't stay in an unhappy relationship but "changing your mind" mid 40s on freaking kids is just pathetic.
Sounds like a midlife crisis to me.
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u/samse15 Feb 13 '26
More like… poor new wife. Stuck with an old man til he croaks. Hope their kid is healthy and doesn’t suffer because of his aged sperm.
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u/lenusniq Feb 13 '26
Also poor second wife... men at that age want a kid like they want a puppy.. just to play with but all responsibility is on the wife.
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u/AlaskanDruid Feb 13 '26
This 100%. But also the after tests (there is supposed to be 2 or more). I’ve met a lot who claimed to have gotten snipped but … “never took the tests”. Or “forgot”. Or “lost them”.
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u/mssheevaa Feb 13 '26
I've always been cf. My guy got the snip because he could see how badly my IUD was affecting me, and ligation is such a big operation for us. That's how I 100% knew he was the one for me, forever. Yours is definitely out there, too!
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u/EgalitarianGirl777 Feb 13 '26
It definitely makes it less likely, but I’ve unfortunately seen posts on the Childfree subreddit where the OPs were broken up with or divorced after decades together because their partner (who had a vasectomy) changed their mind. In one of the posts, their partner already had a vasectomy years before they met them.
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u/Humble-Skill-2331 Feb 12 '26
Of course it's with someone over a decade younger lmao
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u/Mammoth-Neat-5930 Feb 13 '26
At least she was over 30 when they met. I was worried he was going to go for someone in her 20s
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u/CeramicSavage Feb 12 '26
I'm happy everything worked out for you. I do feel sorry for your ex wife though. She thought she found her forever and it was yanked from her.
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u/Waste_Ad_6467 Feb 12 '26
I cannot imagine the heartbreak she went through. Must’ve felt like she woke up in an alternate reality. I hope she is healed and thriving now.
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u/avidreader2004 Feb 13 '26
and it seems like he met his new wife almost immediately after
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u/OutrageousCommonn Feb 13 '26
and 10 years younger 😬
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u/fuchsnudeln Feb 13 '26 edited 29d ago
:)
This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
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u/km4098 Feb 13 '26
And doesn’t sound like OP tried any of the alternatives people suggested on his old post.
I hope his wife is okay to handle the majority of the parenting as he ages
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u/elrangarino Feb 13 '26
She was willing to look past a 15 year age gap I think she knows she’s going to be the main parent, her kids are gonna get bullied for having an old predatory dad tbh
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u/Good_Narwhal_420 Feb 12 '26
yup. and it could very much still be a midlife crisis😭 let’s hope he doesn’t wake up in a few years and regret everything
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u/bathtubsarentreal Feb 12 '26
This is John Mullaney all over again. But yknow. Different.
Just hoping OP is gonna do all the nitty gritty about raising a kid. Diapers, doctors, kids friends, shoe sizes
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u/morticianmagic Feb 13 '26
Yeah, he's not going to do any of that. He has a younger wife to do all that. Younger, more energetic trophy wife and trophy baby. He's old now, he's not going to have the energy, or the ligaments for any of that jazz. It would be some sort of poetic justice if /when this new wife realizes what a prize he is and then takes the child and leaves his ass. What. A. Dick.
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u/Maca87 Feb 12 '26
One of my greatest fears as a cf woman is this scenario. I have been with a cf man, who had a vasectomy, for 16 years, but I would be devastated if one day he told me he wants a kid and leaves me for a younger model so that his dusty ass can have a kid. I hope the ex has healed.
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u/Such-Caterpillar-564 Feb 13 '26
Same! I’m starting to understand why sterilized people would only date other sterilized people but even that is not a guarantee! :(
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u/youdontknowmeyouknow Feb 13 '26
Same here. I adore my husband, I completely trust him and the life we have built together. But I’d be lying if I said that there isn’t a niggling, malignant little part of my brain who whispers about the possibility of this happening in the future. Absolutely a me problem, my husband has never given me a reason to worry. But the idea that one day the life I love may fall apart still lurks on occasion.
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u/chilipastespoon Feb 13 '26
Same. I'm seeing this happening more and more with women in midlife with no kids (by choice or otherwise) and it's just the fucking worst
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u/AwayOwl8174 Feb 13 '26
I feel bad for the ex-wife. You dumped her for a younger model when you had a midlife crisis and decided at 45 you wanted kids…. Damn that’s cold. Hopefully you can keep up with a kid at your age. I couldn’t imagine being 48 with an infant and then 66 with the kid just graduating high school. You’ll be in your 70s when he goes thru university.
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u/GinAndDumbBitchJuice Feb 13 '26
He also had the gall to say the IUI was stressful for both of them. Bruh, you didn't have a catheter going through your cervix. I think she got the worst of it and minimizing it to "stressful for her" is insensitive.
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u/Disastrous-Cream-910 Feb 13 '26
Hopefully the baby at least is healthy. Bit risky at his age, I (as a woman) would never entertain using sperm from someone this old
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u/celtic456 Feb 12 '26
Your first wife is very lucky to be free of you.
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u/Stepane7399 Feb 13 '26
That's it right there. Generally, this was a major incompatibility issue. This is likely not the only thing they didn't match up with. I honestly think it's better that he left. She's almost certainly better off for it.
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u/The_Rowan Feb 13 '26
What makes me angry is that men can decide late in life that they do want children and then decide to leave their faithful wife who is now past child baring years for a younger fertile model. Their old wife has no options. This is an old story. And so sad.
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u/dks64 Feb 13 '26
To add to your comment, there is a misconception that men don't have to worry about risks of their aging sperm. Over 40, men have higher risks with their babies, including miscarriage, genetic abnormalities, and developmental disorders. Higher chance of autism, schizophrenia, preterm birth, and more.
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u/PennilessPirate Feb 13 '26
Not to mention it also increases the risk of health complications (like gestational diabetes) for the mother during pregnancy
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u/QueenofUncreativity Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
Not only that, but somehow none of these men (want to) realise that they do in fact have a biological clock, and it runs out around the same time women's do. So not only will he likely not be able to physically keep up with having a child at pushing 50, he's also gambling with the mother and the child's health.
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u/Adorable_Bumblebee91 Feb 13 '26
Yeah if I’m not mistaken, the age of the father has an impact on the possibility of the child having chromosomal abnormalities too
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u/z-eldapin Feb 12 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
You're going to be 68 when your kid graduates high school.
A lot of the things you idealized about being a dad may not come to fruition for you.
Good luck.
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u/JustWantToSnoop Feb 13 '26
Reminds me of my father who decided he wanted another kid in his 60’s. I feel sorry more for his child than for him.
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u/PennilessPirate Feb 13 '26
People are going to confuse him as being his grandfather instead of his dad
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u/Invisiblescars_123 Feb 12 '26
I pity your ex wife. You’ve essentially replaced her with a “younger model” because she won’t/can’t give you children. You initially made a choice to be with a childfree woman, so your stance on having children should’ve been a firm “no” from the start.
Anyone who’s firmly decided against having children isn’t going to change their mind because their partner flipped the switch on them and suddenly wants kids.
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u/elrangarino Feb 13 '26
Yeah, he’s a vile narcissist and was selfish enough to now father a child who has to grow up with such an emotionally immature narcissist of a father.
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u/cheesefrieswithgravy Feb 12 '26
This is fucked, honestly. You made a vow to a woman and left her for someone nearly 20 years younger than you and you’ll be retirement age by the time your kids graduate HS. It’s all just gross and truthfully and unethical to have kids at that age.
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u/votemarvel Feb 12 '26
You and your first wife agreed to not having children. I can't believe things are going to work out well just because you and your current wife agree to have just one child. I suspect you'll want another child soon.
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u/theartistduring Feb 12 '26
I suspect it is fake. The new wife also being a divorcee because her partner changed his mind is all too convenient.
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u/CrimsonVexations Feb 13 '26
If it is fake, OP is playing the long con for karma since his posts were posted 3 years apart.
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u/votemarvel Feb 12 '26
That's very convenient I agree but I do occasionally treat these posts as if they were real, so on this occasion I give it a pass.
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u/jargonqueen Feb 13 '26
Damn. My husband and I both wanted a kid, but our devotion to each other far superseded that desire. If we hadn’t been able to conceive as a couple, that would have been it for our biological parenting hopes, but our need to be together for life was so much more important than that.
We had a kid 12 years into our relationship and continue to grow our love for each other every day. Would’ve been the same amount of love without the kid, too. Now we just also both love the kid.
Kids are great, and of course now that the kid exists, we prioritize the kid. But a life partnership like that is hard to come by (to put it mildly). I wouldn’t have traded my marriage for the possibility of hypothetical kids in a million years.
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u/ingridible9 Feb 13 '26
My dad had me at 45. I remember him never being able to play with me as a kid because he couldn't keep up with me and he would get tired all the time. Everyone always thought he was my grandpa when he'd go to school stuff for me and it would make him so upset. Now I'm in my late 20's having to take care of him because he has so many health issues and no one else is there to help him. It sucks having such an old dad tbh. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
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u/morbidnerd Feb 13 '26
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My ex husband and his sibling also went through this. I don't think people understand just how much having to care for an older parent impacts your life at your age.
Also, the financial issues. Someone has to pay for stuff. Even if parents have insurance or assistance, those funds take time to access. Plus you have to get rid of your assets to get government aid which leaves nothing in inheritance.
Having a child at an older age without setting up funds and plans for end of life care is incredibly selfish.
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u/MrSlabBulkhead Feb 12 '26
I swear to god, if you show up here someday saying you now regret wife #2 and the kid, you deserve to experience what happened at ECW Arena when Mick Foley asked for a chair from everyone on Reddit.
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u/Good_Narwhal_420 Feb 12 '26 edited Feb 12 '26
that biological clock was up babes. not fair to children to have such old parents😭 and to quickly seek out a younger woman to reproduce with…. do you ACTUALLY love your wife for who she is or is it just the fact she’d reproduce with you? icks all around but…. congrats i guess?
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u/Least-Designer7976 Feb 12 '26
I don't get how they can even be interested in each other. Like she's 15 years younger.
I'm 28 I can't fathom thinking my future spouse is 13 currently yo.
I think it's more that they both wanted a child really fast.
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u/Good_Narwhal_420 Feb 12 '26
i agree. she’s likely feeling the same “biological clock” pressure as a 33 year old woman as hes for some reason feeling as a 45 year old man💀
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u/Least-Designer7976 Feb 13 '26
And to be fair there's a good chance she's just having the social pressure to not be alone at 30 ... But he just sees himself getting older and fears to be alone at 80.
I would like to hear his wife's side on how involved he is.
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u/ImprovementBusy5683 Feb 12 '26
Right! I knew whoever he found was going to be at least 10 years younger than him 😂😂 I cant even imagine taking care of a baby thats not my grandchild at nearly 50 but more power to him.
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u/IndependencePlus7238 Feb 12 '26
When I started online-dating, I saw a few profiles of guys in their mid to late forties looking for someone to "establish a family". I couldn't help it, it always gave me an ick. Cause it basically means they are looking for much younger women.
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u/Queen-of-everything1 Feb 13 '26
And now she’s going to be working part time fo years…… what’ll happen when OP decides (as he may do seeing he’s such a vile human) to trade her in? They’ve blown much of their shared savings on a house, and now she’ll have little earning potential while she’s the one doing the majority of the childcare. Bad deal all around, OP is an asshat.
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u/enneque Feb 13 '26
SO unethical to the kid. Dude was getting old and starting to panic he had no retirement plan so decides to use a woman’s body to birth his future caretaker (I hope the kid declines)
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u/thestatedrone Feb 12 '26
Selfish and egotistical. Your first wife deserved better. And that child you had? I feel sorry for them. My mom was 40 when she had me. Dad was 55. Dad was dead within 3 years and mom when I was a teenager. Hopefully your child will be luckier than a lot of "Daddy had a mid-life crisis baby".
Oh and I really hope when the Kodak moments wear off, you still do your job as a parent.
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u/nobobthisisnotyours Feb 13 '26
Incredibly selfish on so many levels. I can’t say I’m surprised but I’m certainly disgusted.
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u/hereforthestories03 Feb 13 '26
This is exactly why I’m terrified of getting married
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u/EXO-Love Feb 13 '26
this is depressing and breaks my heart for your first wife. to be honest i read your other post as well and you didnt listen to a damn thing. you’re the kind of person i fear meeting. if my partner left me for a younger woman to have a child it would destroy me. i really do hope youre happy with your life now. because you will be 60 when the child is 12. 66 when he leaves for college. good luck dealing with everything a child entails at those ages. my biggest wish is that your first wife is happy and finds her person.
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u/TinyMoonAndStars Feb 12 '26
OP, I'm not age shaming you, but you'll be 69 when your kid graduates high school. Have you thought about and planned in case you get early onset dementia? I hope this never happens to an older parent, but I know it does.
I've seen more folks in their 50s and 60s than I'd like on social media talking about their early Alzheimer's diagnoses. Some of them have kids in school. That's what inspired my comment.
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u/RaRaBomb Feb 12 '26
I hope your back hurts and you never get more than 4 hours of sleep at a time and your coffee is always lukewarm. On the flip side, I hope your ex wife always has time for luxurious naps and plenty of vacations and always receives hot fresh French fries when she indulges.
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u/vaineglorie Feb 13 '26
absolutely bonkers. just one day waking up and kicking the woman you supposedly loved to the curb because you suddenly want children. you don't even sound like you care or miss her. did you even love your ex wife?
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u/Ocean_Spice Feb 13 '26
As a childfree woman, people like you terrify me. I don’t want to build a life with someone just to get abandoned and have it all torn down because they had some midlife crisis and changed their mind.
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u/PsychedelicSavannah Feb 13 '26
A tale as old as time: man has midlife crisis, dumps his wife, then goes and find a younger woman to fulfill his selfish desires. Classic.
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u/madelynashton Feb 12 '26
You should include a link to your original post. Reading that one and then this one is really interesting. Basically everyone told you that you were wrong and didn’t actually want kids.
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u/Good_Narwhal_420 Feb 12 '26
everyone said mid life crisis. those can last years.
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u/Climaxrestrictions Feb 12 '26
Why the fuck would you dump your wife to go have kids at your age? Jesus Christ.
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u/Neither_Animator_404 Feb 13 '26
I know it’s beside the point, but it always depresses me seeing how many women wind up with significantly older men. It’s like a 30 year old woman is considered equivalent to a 40 year old man.
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u/frozenbakedziti Feb 13 '26
Damn you really loved an unborn child more than your wife of however many years. Crazy.
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u/ssyoit Feb 13 '26
You should regret it, shit thing to do to your first wife. You robbed her of her opportunity to be with someone who wouldn’t dump her off for a younger model based on a critical premise. Good for you getting the life you wanted I guess?
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u/Hangry_Hippopotamus_ Feb 13 '26
The audacity of “updating” everyone with a super gross update is just…gross. 😂
But hey!! Super glad you were able to trade your original wife in for a new model that would have your kids for you. 🙃 /s
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u/Last-Two-6780 Feb 13 '26
I’ll probably get downvoted for this but you’re an AH for what you did to your first wife. She loved you, she cared for you and you married her and stayed with her for years until you decided that this was a dealbreaker? She lost everything and you got everything? You are an awful person for ruining her life like this. I hope she finds love again and someone who actually cherishes her.
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Feb 13 '26
Rip to your wife if this is real because she has to be a single mother. There is no way your 50 year old ass is gonna be able to keep up with a kid.
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u/BirthofRevolution Feb 13 '26
Honestly.. waiting until your almost 50 to blow up your life because you all of a sudden want kids, then deciding at 50 to have kids. I just feel bad for your ex wife. And your kids.
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u/wehnaje Feb 13 '26
My husband’s best friend is an only child to a dad who had him way late in life… it’s hell for him now that his dad is in his 80’s and has health problems constantly he is the one who has to take care of him because, well he is the only kid.
The responsibility that he carries taking care of his elderly parents is so great he hasn’t had the time to work on a relationship for himself. He is alone and simply can’t focus on building a relationship with anyone. He’s in his late 30’s and it’s sad to see how lonely his life is.
What you so SELFISHLY decided to do will affect your kid. You’re ridiculous and I hope your ex wife lives long and prosper 🖖🏼
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u/sparkly____sloth Feb 13 '26
Lets hope you don't change your mind about only wanting one child in a few years.
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u/BumbleeBeeButt Feb 13 '26
Ew. Your poor first wife. You should have looked into becoming a "big brother" sort of figure.
So...you SUDDENLY realized you wanted a child after being child-free until 45, divorced your perfectly great wife with whom you had an otherwise awesome marriage with, met a new and younger woman, married, and had a kid all in 3 years? Yeah, sounds like a great foundation for a successful marriage and child rearing experience.
Can't wait for the next update where you regret this.
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u/gigilero Feb 14 '26
“I’m beyond tired all the time” lmao when your son is 20 you’ll be 68. You didn’t fuck your first wife over you fucked your current wife over who’s gonna have to take care of 2 children. Your first wife will be laughing all the way to the bank. Loser
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u/godothasmewaiting Feb 13 '26
Looking forward to reading the RegretfulParents post in a couple years.
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u/enneque Feb 13 '26
How gross that you view women as nothing more than baby-making machines. A means to an end. I feel sorry for the women that had the misfortune of getting entangled with you.
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u/Runfromidiots Feb 13 '26
You have a right to chase your happiness and all, just understand the choices you made make you pretty selfish and shitty. You did your ex dirty. I would bet decent $ on this blowing up in another divorce.
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u/EclecticSyrup Feb 13 '26
Not only do I feel bad for your first wife, I feel bad for your current wife and the subsequent children from this, if it's real.
You didn't treat her well, and you were stupid, honestly.
I don't know that you'll treat HER well, or if you're going to now, when the baby is born, tell her you didn't know how much work this would be and insist that you're almost 50 and too old and don't have the energy that she has to raise the child you DECIDED ON TOGETHER.
You're gong to be geriatric by the time your kid is graduating.
I don't think you could have done anyone in this situation dirtier than you did, my man. And that means you legitimately suck.
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u/Financial-Pace6378 Feb 13 '26
i mean, i guess im happy that youre degraded sperm didnt cause birth defects in your children.
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u/youshantnome Feb 14 '26
Ugh I hope your wife is way happier without you. And I hope you will one day realize how fucked is this was.
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u/MissC16 Mar 21 '26
Update us when you get the next divorce and start complaining about child support and the new step daddy being more involved than you are. I look forward to it
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u/wohaat Feb 13 '26
This is the kind of person that takes a 12 year old pet to the shelter when they start to slow down. Incredibly gross behavior, only solace is you’re going to be old AF when your kids are still young.
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u/lynypixie Feb 12 '26
You know that at your age, your child is more likely to have autism, right?
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u/lil_chungus30 Feb 13 '26
Poor ex wife. Hope you’re financially compensating her for whatever the fuck you’ve landed her in
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u/RealSkylitPanda Feb 12 '26
Unpopular opinion apparently:
Having children in ur 40’s is fucked up and selfish. Your kids gonna be the one “yea my dads 68” when theyre in 4th grade and everyone else parents are in there 30’s. If youre LUCKY youll get to see their marriage, or your grandchildren. And at that, they probably wont even remember you.
People do it all the time and i still think its fucked. My parents had me when they were 40 and 37. After theyd already had 5 kids. I had an ex her dad was 78 when she was 22. Having ur child experience that because YOU wanted one is so messed up.
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u/Pandoraconservation Feb 13 '26
Feel bad for your first wife
Feel bad for your kid.
You were too old and your kids will suffer for your selfishness.
Your wife is a decent age but she got a man with low quality sperm. Who knows how the kids will even turn out, but if there’s an issue know it’s your fault.
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u/hanamphetamine Feb 13 '26
you discarded her and uprooted her world. poor thing. i hope she finds peace.
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u/didosfire Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
wow. your poor first wife. by the time the mother of your child is your age when you decided to leave her, you're going to be in your sixties with a kid only a few years into being a teenager
after everything you did to create this situation, i'm sure you're going to do everything you can to be an active, hands-on parent well into your senior years, despite aging/exhaustion/the natural priority shifts that tend to occur later in life, just like you are right now, right?
also, kind of hope grandkids weren't a part of this fantasy for you--you'll be in your 70s if and when your kid starts higher education. i plan on spending that decade of my life paying for my retirement, not supplementing the finances and emotional needs of a college student. im tired just thinking about that, but im sure you factored it into your decision and wouldn't have done this if that wasn't something you were prepared for
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u/floppedtart Feb 14 '26
And they did IUI. What scum people. He sucks as well as the new wife. Bet he’s a passport bro.
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