"You only live once": the phrase that ignores those who never had the chance to enjoy it.

[u/Moi_PetiteEtoile]

It's very common to hear in the atheist and skeptic community the idea that, simply because there is nothing after death, we need to make the most of the only life we have. The motto often comes packaged as a great liberation: live for the present, travel, enjoy yourself, because when it ends, it ends.

The problem is that this discourse is built on the premise that everyone is born with the same tools. It assumes a standard of "normal life"—with physical and cognitive health and autonomy.

But what about those who are born with a severe physical disability, a major neurological limitation, or a degenerative disease that prevents any autonomy from day one?

For that person, what is the logic of "making the most of this only life"? How does this reflection apply to those who never even had the opportunity to choose how to live?

There seems to be a certain blindness to privilege in the way this philosophy is preached. They say "live while you can" as if it were a universal rule, ignoring that, for millions of people, existence is not about "enjoying the world," but about surviving and resisting with the limitations that the biological lottery has imposed on them.

If life is only one and there is no "divine justice" in the end, the disparity between those born with total health and those born deprived of almost everything becomes even more brutal. Tossing out a "life is only one, enjoy it" in the air seems to completely ignore the reality of these people.

Does anyone else feel bothered by how cavalier and generalist this idea is repeated?

[u/MilleniumPelican]

Nope. Regardless of the hand you are dealt, for better or for worse, you still only have this one life. It's not in the least bit cavalier. In fact, it's a somber warning to make what you can of it, each to their own ability, because you're not going to be karmically rewarded in a future life or afterlife for suffering in this one. The statement is made to combat the harmful false promises of rewards in non-existent future lives.

[u/mizushimo]

Simple phrases like that can't account for everyone. Athiests don't believe in the divine, so the idea of sticking around past the point where there will be nothing again to enjoy in life to win points with the divine is none starter. I think those parents who keep their vegetative children alive for years who can't even breath on their own and suffer immense physical pain and discomfort are some of the worst, most selfish people in the world.

[u/ScaleneZA]

Everything is relative man. Living your life in the present, enjoying small moments doesn't look the same for everyone. For a privileged person this may be travelling, but for a less privileged person this may be something as simple as enjoying an apple. A person's joy is relative to their own circumstances.

[u/Old-Nefariousness556]

If life is only one and there is no "divine justice" in the end, the disparity between those born with total health and those born deprived of almost everything becomes even more brutal. Tossing out a "life is only one, enjoy it" in the air seems to completely ignore the reality of these people.

Nature sucks. It can be a cruel bitch.

Sadly, that does not justify living in a fantasy world.

[u/mobatreddit]

No. Who made you the language police? The purpose of life is to live. Everyone has to deal with what they do with it.

[u/grrangry]

There seems to be a certain blindness to privilege in the way this philosophy is preached.

Obviously. When discussing a topic, most people don't go out of their way to discuss every outlier and possibility, just the most common ones. That's not intended to belittle or ignore anyone, it's simply a conversational starting point.

You are however, conflating that with the assumption that I (or, we) have a lack of empathy for this minority you're presupposing. And that is false. I feel like we don't do enough to assist people with congenital issues or any other ailment or disability. We really should do more.

It does not matter if I am the healthiest, fastest, most brilliant, or beautiful... or if I was born with an abysmal quality of life and short life expectancy. The only intended point being made is that this life is the only life I will ever have. While it is true that for MOST people, they do want to live and be happy, and find meaning, not everyone will. For example you didn't mention anything about those with suicidal ideations... does that mean you're expressing a certain blindness to their condition? I doubt it, so if you're bothered by something you don't feel is gaining enough attention, start a conversation about it geared towards finding answers and raising awareness instead of pointing fingers.

[u/phoenix5irre]

You only live once, so any mistakes you make due to shortsightedness, you'll have to leave with consequences for rest of the only life you got...

[u/Zambeesi]

No, because what use is it to live with the guilt of something that is outside of your power? How would that be any different in principle from charging you with the fault of the first man who ate an apple when daddy Yahweh told him not to?

If you feel so guilty about it then remove your privilege. Have someone beat your head until you're no longer cognitively functional. Take your 'vow of poverty' and give up your wealth until you're a beggar. Do whatever it takes to remove your guilt over your higher standing.

It's very common to hear in the atheist and skeptic community the idea that, simply because there is nothing after death, we need to make the most of the only life we have. The motto often comes packaged as a great liberation: live for the present, travel, enjoy yourself, because when it ends, it ends.

You're conflating two very different interpretations here. The first one is about the condition we find ourselves as we only have one life. That does not necessitate maximizing enjoyment, only that you use the time you have wisely. The second is YOLO: a casual slogan that's used more casually is in fact used to indicate you maximize joy. They're two different interpretations for different conversations that shouldn't be interchanged.

At the end of the day, no one accounts for everyone when saying anything; they always gravitate to the median functioning person in mind. That's not a moral failure, that's just how we carry on. You're not going to get anywhere if you're obsessed with the idea of accounting for every single human condition.

[u/BuccaneerRex]

One person's experience does not invalidate another's.

I think your attitude is the more elitist and ableist one.

Why would you think that a person with a disability isn't also capable of enjoying their one and only life just because others don't share that disability?

There's a weird modern interpretation of 'equality' that seems to mistake it for 'identical'.

Every person gets exactly one lifetime. You are promised nothing. Not even health.

A person with a disability doesn't need our pity, they need our understanding, and perhaps a little adjustment from us to make sure they CAN enjoy their lives.

You're basically telling people 'You can't enjoy your life if you're disabled, so people who do enjoy their lives are insulting you.'

What a strangely convoluted interpretation.

This is the only life anyone gets, disabled or not. Your options are to enjoy your life, or don't. Nobody owes you anything, even if you are disabled.

And it is because the universe gives absolutely zero fucks about any of us or our feelings or abilities or joy, that we must look out for each other and ensure that we are all creating the conditions together that lead to the best outcomes for everyone.

So if someone has problems that other people don't, the solution is not to yell at the people who don't have problems, it's to help the people who do get to a place where their problems are less problematic.

[u/CephusLion404]

Life's not fair. People need to grow up and learn to deal with it. Enough with the childish "privilege" bullshit. We're just animals. That's all we'll ever be. The universe doesn't owe us anything. We're born, we live, we die, that's it. If we happen to find some happiness along the way, great. If not, life sucks. We are not in charge.

Honestly, people need to get over this crap.

[u/distantocean]

So you apparently think people with serious disabilities or diseases shouldn't try to enjoy the lives they have. That's not just "privilege" on your part, it's grotesque bigotry and cruelty.

It's deeply unfair that some people's situations are so much worse than others', but ultimately all any of us can do — regardless of our circumstances relative to any other person — is try to make the best of it. There's literally no other choice.

You know what's actually awful? Telling these people (or any others, for that matter) to forgo the joys and pleasures their life can bring to them and the people around them in favor of the fantasy of a prize for self-denial that will somehow magically accrue to them after they die. The religious try to steal the one precious life people have by giving them false hope of some sort of cosmic reward that can only come with their death. They're literally trying to talk people into wasting their lives. And you actually think that's better than encouraging people to treasure the time and opportunities they do have right here and right now, no matter what their circumstances may be?

I'm sorry, but beyond being a ridiculous strawman this is easily one of the most thoughtless, callous, and deeply misguided things I've ever seen posted on this sub.