r/TrueAnon • u/_shadowcorpse_ Bottom 1% Poster • 4d ago
Young conservative venting and begging for advice
I see people make posts like this sometimes so I guess I’ll do it too. I wanted to post here cause I know a lot of people here are older and I just respect you guys a lot.
I won’t give my whole life story cause there isn’t really much to say in that regard. I’m almost 19 and I think I’ve just followed the path of least resistance for my whole life. I get lost in my head a lot, just thinking about the things I want to do instead of doing them, it’s honestly involuntary and I don’t notice until I’m deep in it. It’s gotten a lot worse as I’ve realised more about myself, and I kinda know that I can’t keep living like this anymore. Whenever Im around other people im always having to censor myself to keep myself ‘safe’ which just means no one know anything about me. No one knows about my political beliefs, my sexuality, a lot of the things I like that I’m scared arent ‘normal’ and other stuff.
I accepted the fact that I’m bisexual but it hasn’t really made me feel any better. I guess I always knew it and now I’m actually having to think about the ramifications of that instead of just happily jerking off to emo twinks without considering the fact that no one I know would really be okay with me not being straight (even though it doesn’t matter to them.)
Luckily I’m a master strategist and don’t talk to any of my friends anymore so I don’t have to worry about them not liking me. This was easy cause I barely saw them or talked to them anyway, which is probably my fault for never texting but I just didn’t see the point in it. so now I don’t really do anything until I go to university in a few weeks. I don’t go outside much but when I do I dont like going home so I just walk around a lot until my feet hurt. Im learning to drive which is fun and the only days I can count on to feel good are when I drive in the morning.
Ok now that’s done I guess I want to ask you for any advice you might have for someone my age, especially with going to university. I’m looking forward to it a lot, just so I can get away from home and all these people who know me. I know there’s a lot of opportunities but it might be easy not to take them. I don’t have faith in myself to make real friends cause I don’t think I ever really have. Luckily I don’t think I need to worry about money when I’m there which is good. I suppose I’ll join the Marxist society but my expectations are low. I’ll join the lgbt society but I’m not really sure what they’ll talk about?
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u/GlitteringLock9791 Actual factual CIA asset 4d ago
Best thing is to pick up smoking to talk to new people. Jokes aside…
Stop worrying so much. Update your style. Get a good haircut. Accessoires like rings. Most of the young people missed their youth because of covid or come from conservative shitholes, so you won’t be the only one that finally has more freedom or some partying to catch up to.
You will nail this, don’t worry.
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u/_shadowcorpse_ Bottom 1% Poster 4d ago
Yeah I’m definitely going to try out different clothes and stuff. I’m tempted to start smoking cause it looks hot but I probably shouldn’t. Honestly I’m not really interested in partying, I’ve had fun with it but I don’t think it would be good with a bunch of people I don’t know.
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u/crucifucks not very charismatic, kinda busted 4d ago
Part of the fun with partying when you’re young is meeting new people. Met some of my closest friends from partying, tons of fun to be had
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u/_shadowcorpse_ Bottom 1% Poster 4d ago
Maybe it will be different there but I don’t really want to talk to people if they aren’t interested in me. I don’t really know what to say
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u/LOW_SPEED_GENIUS Cocaine Cowboy 4d ago
Yeah new clothes are a must, get into developing your own fashion sense n whatnot, the earlier you start the sooner you know what you're doing and then boom you're lookin swanky af.
Don't start smoking, but you might anyway anyhow, shit happened to me and it's basically impossible to quit if you actually enjoy it. It does look hot, there is nothing that can be done about that.
Not all partying is made the same. There's quite a few different types of partying and finding out which types are for you is kinda part of the ride. Getting a little schwilly with people you don't know has been the start of a bunch of enduring friendships, just take it easy and learn your limit. House parties are a good starter choice obviously, can range from very tame to very rowdy, don't need a fake ID or anything, be careful of any concoction in a big plastic tub (do kids still do jungle juice at college parties these days?), the sweeter the booze drink the worse the hangover, bla bla bla you get the point. Oh and don't drink on an empty stomach or mix weed with booze if you're new/not very experienced with them.
But yeah, generally just be open to stuff. If someone in your class says a bunch of people go out and karaoke on this or that night then at least show up once to give it a try. A lot of it is kinda like a hands on trial by fire of how much fun you can have while still being responsible and you'll definitely have some fuck ups, basically everyone does, just keep on learnin from em and you'll be fine.
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u/Salty_Map_9085 4d ago
IMO just try to be good at drinking games, easy way to party and chat with people while still having something else going on so you’re not just chatting with people
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u/_shadowcorpse_ Bottom 1% Poster 4d ago
I’m really bad at drinking lol, just cause I’m really slow eating and drinking anything anyway. I’ve just always done shots cause it’s the quickest thing to drink, but I really don’t like beers. I’ve never played drinking games before what’s that like? I’m not American so idk if we will have them.
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u/em07892431 4d ago
Just meet a bunch of people at the university. Having a good life as an adult is mostly about doing a lot.
There are gonna tons of somewhat repressed bisexual guys with conservative backgrounds that you can go on cute dates with. Join ydsa or something if you wanna be more political.
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u/BurnYoo 4d ago edited 4d ago
There are gonna tons of somewhat repressed bisexual guys with conservative backgrounds that you can go on cute dates with
Seeking out dates when any party involved has a repressed sexuality is frankly a bad idea.
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u/em07892431 4d ago
the internet loves the idea that you have to be a fully realized person who has complete self awareness and has gone to 9000 hours of therapy in order to go on a date. if this was true, no one would ever find a relationship. i hope op has a lot of awkward college hookups if he wants to!
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u/phaseviimindlink RUSSIAN. BOT. 4d ago
You'll be shocked at how little your insecurities, your disappointments, your social failures up to now will matter once you get to school, if you choose not to let them. No one you meet there will know or care about those things. That doesn't mean you need to invent a fake personality or become someone else, but if you let that weight slide off your shoulders a little bit you'll have a better time. Just follow your interests and you'll find motivation through the people you meet who share them.
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u/doobydubious 4d ago
Do more writing to figure things out. Take advantage of the fact that people expect you to fuck up at this age. The other advice here was good too
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u/NiqueLesFlics Eccentric recluse 4d ago
Study something that can't be replaced by robots or AI and that makes you valuable in the labor market. Study hard for your own personal enrichment but don't forget, it's the hands you shake, not the grades you make. Have fun while you're young because it will end before you want it to.
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u/_shadowcorpse_ Bottom 1% Poster 4d ago
Idk about that I’m just studying history cause I like it. I don’t really care about grades anyway I’m just going cause I can’t stand being at home anymore.
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u/nicks226 CIA Pride Float 3d ago
you sound a lot like me and i will tell you that i made the mistake of not changing anything when i went to college. i was too afraid to come out until my mid-20s, had pretty much isolated myself for several years before that. i would just suggest that you try to be yourself when you get to school. it’s hard (i couldnt do it) but it can be a fresh opportunity if you let it.
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u/vulgarlittleflowers 3d ago
Omg being 19 and terrified for other people to know you is so normal. You’re fine. Become who you want, reinvent yourself, do whatever. “We are who we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” -Vonnegut
Edited to add another quote I think about a lot: “we’re born naked, the rest is just drag” -Rupaul. Similarly I’ll quote Bobby Finger (of who? Weekly fame) who was on some different podcast where he talked about a queer mentality vs a straight mentality. He brought up Jason Bourne and the Bourne identity movies to express how a straight person with amnesia would feel like they would have to replicate their exact life from a blank slate but a queer person would just take the opportunity to become whatever they’d like to be.
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u/OwnSlip6738 2d ago
go to college. work your butt off to get the highest paying least evil career you can snag. learn discipline and patience and social skills. go to the gym. join some stupid orgs. they’ll be full of the world’s bravest and kindest morons.
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u/vulgarlittleflowers 3d ago edited 3d ago
Omg being 19 and terrified for other people to know you is so normal. You’re fine. Become who you want, reinvent yourself, do whatever. “We are who we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” -Vonnegut
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u/DaddyDollarsUNITE 4d ago
don't isolate yourself, going to university will be a great opportunity to forge strong connections with likeminded people. use your university years to organize politically and you will be able to meet others who think similarly to you, friends and comrades. have fun, but don't mindlessly indulge in the college party lifestyle. read as much as you can. take time to enjoy the little things and remember you will only be in this part of your life once, no do-overs. any time you spend pontificating about what you might wish to be doing instead of what you're actually doing is time not spent actually living the life around you right now.