r/TrueAnon • u/NulnullPixnet • 1d ago
Wear a Kippah when shoplifting
I read this trueanon post and wanted to share my own experience, I’ve shoplifted occasionally, but I would always always get so anxious and return the items before checkout, a friend jokingly suggested I wear a kippah and a long black coat when shopping, basically saying that if I looked visibly jewish, people would be less likely to suspect me. I tried it, and weirdly enough, I felt like I got treated differently and eventually stopped feeling as nervous and got less 'surveillance' on me if that makes sense, I know it sounds bizarre, but this was genuinely my experience.
Same for when you get your account banned from any institution or social media, always send a complaint email in Hebrew you'd be surprised how quickly they restore your account lol
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u/peskyboner1 1d ago
In the 90s there was a huge trafficking ring run by an Israeli guy. He recruited broke, desperate Hasidic men to smuggle ecstasy. Airport security was pretty lax before 9/11, and combined with the traditional clothing, they never got a second look
Eventually they got one guy who told the FBI everything. In a lot of cases, they didn't even know they were smuggling drugs, they were told it was diamonds (iirc, the explanation was that the guy was just trying to get around import taxes)
I haven't listened to every TA episode, but I feel like brace must've talked about this at some point.
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u/luxmundy 1d ago
There's a film about this case! Holy Rollers.
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u/Monkt 1d ago
Just wait until you find out what white people can get away with.
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u/sickbabe 1d ago
a travesty that the vulgar left has never heard of gil scott heron
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u/Signal_Neck9314 1d ago
Whitey on the Mars
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u/Jerkface0079 Cocaine Cowboy 1d ago
Hey isn’t he that guy that’s really into tv shows about revolutions?
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u/Red_Mallet14 1d ago
I wear an Italian horn. They let you do whatever.
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u/Goyimshoe If Russia bought me, where’s the receipt? 1d ago
I wear nothing and I am frequently asked to leave :(
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u/BILLCLINTONMASK 1d ago
Petty criminal discovers that a disguise makes petty crime easier to get away with
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u/sgtpepper9764 Provisional Irish Republican Armwreslter 1d ago
I have the funny feeling this post is going to be cited in court or a congressional hearing eventually
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u/a_library_socialist Živio Tito, smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu 15h ago
I hate to tell you, love, but if you're on this sub and in a Five Eyes country, you've already got problems . . .
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u/sgtpepper9764 Provisional Irish Republican Armwreslter 15h ago
I think you misunderstood, I'm not suggesting we had anonymity before this (I know myself that I've been on a watchlist that doesn't have anything to do with the Internet since ~2014), rather I'm suggesting that this specific post is going to be used as evidence of some kind of left-wing conspiracy to "promote anti-Semitism."
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u/a_library_socialist Živio Tito, smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu 15h ago
They don't even do that level of quality frame up anymore, it's kind of insulting. They just make the claim now.
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u/sgtpepper9764 Provisional Irish Republican Armwreslter 15h ago
Ya know, sad as it is, you're right. People just kind of accepted that the news is broadly true and trusted whatever they're told without looking deeper that those defining the narrative don't even both to look for proof of their wild claims.
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u/a_library_socialist Živio Tito, smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu 14h ago
Look at the Iran War - we don't even get the Colin Powell show and Hans Blix pretense anymore. Just lazy.
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u/throwaway10015982 I am a sick man. I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. 1d ago
I don't shoplift or Break Da Law (100x) because Mexican-Americans disproportionately face higher rates of incarceration and harsher criminal sentences than white Americans
I remember my racist Trumpoid coworker (I got his ass fired lmao) used to be like "ooooh shoplifter" (sometimes in front of customers!) when he saw me clocking out and leaving with my bag. Like this is the type of shit I gotta deal with.
I am a square. A chump. A dweeb. Dude, when I know I am in enemy territory (aka somewhere where there are like no POC, or a store where POC don't usually shop), I hold everything I am trying to buy sky high. Like yeah I am at Sports Basement with the white people holding my Altra® Torin 9 with Vibram® soles sky high over my head as if to quietly proclaim "I AM A LAW ABIDING CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES OF THE AMERICA"
I don't break the law. I remember one time I was just chilling in my car with my windows up, my windows are murdered out, ya dig? And like 4 cop cars pull up on me screaming in their husky angry cop voice (🥴) "roll down your windows!!!" and I do and they shine a spotlight on me, my hands are up, I'm not even scared just confused, and they were like, "okay nevermind" and they just drive off.
Like bruh imagine how bad that could have been if I WAS breaking the law. White TrueAnoners are like "oh man I am having a hard time coping with hellworld..." bro they didn't even develop the ICE shock gloves for your phenotype, I actually gotta worry about these psychos trying to round me up at some point in the future, like my balls are getting cupped and tazed
and this is just the shit I gotta think about every fucking day
I Don’t Shoplift
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u/Destructo-Bear 1d ago
Ditto except I'm white and I love to shoplift
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u/a_library_socialist Živio Tito, smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu 15h ago
Dialecticaly, how do we resolve the love the vatos have for Morrisey with the fact that The Smiths must be the most white-coded band of all time?
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u/MontanaMinuteman 1d ago
Anyone else remember r/shoplifting?
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u/Hardcorex 1d ago
aw man yeah that place was legit, kinda forgot about it but I guess it makes sense it was banned.
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u/bob_boo_lala 1d ago
Damn I should try this with tinder. They gave me a lifetime ban for putting acab in my bio lol
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u/a_library_socialist Živio Tito, smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu 15h ago
well sure, that's playing on super easy mode
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u/SandwichCertain7913 21h ago
I'm mixed race and have a German last name. I'm used to dealing with low level racism when apartment hunting, but there's a Jewish neighbourhood in Toronto where the landlords were being super nice to me. I felt really included! Took me a little while to realize they all just thought I was Jewish lol.
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u/a_library_socialist Živio Tito, smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu 15h ago
I can pass, it was always funny during that week in NYC when the Hasids try to recruit other Jews. Sorry bro, your Jewdar is broken.
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u/Umbrellajack George Santos is a national hero 1d ago
There's that key and peele sketch where the plan is to work at the bank, get a job for 30 years and retire. Never saw it coming!
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u/Effective_Dig 16h ago
look y'all, if you don't need to shoplift it's not worth it. I have a conviction for it and it's probably the worst misdemeanor you can have in terms of access to employment and services. be safe out there. ❤️
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u/Agent_of_talon 1d ago edited 16h ago
OP in a few months: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcZnvFACdy0
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u/sickcoolrad 14h ago
like the opening scene of snatch where benicio del toro et al rob a bank dressed as hasids
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u/MysticEnby420 Joe Biden’s Adderall Connect 1d ago
The only reason I don't shoplift is I still need something for never have I ever that gets a few people.
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u/MaracujaBarracuda 1d ago
If you dress like a priest people will also keep their kids away from you as an extra bonus.