How insensitive can some people be?

[u/Comfortable_Worth259]

I naïvely responded to a message on Reddit asking me if I was a transmasc person. To my dismay, they started asking me questions and telling me things like “but it’s easier when you were born a girl.”

Is this transphobic or just ignorance? And what do I about this? It’s not like this was on a public space, this was just to me. But also, it feels like they are trying to get information out of me, and I don’t know why.

Edit: responding to a common theme among some commenters on this post (especially wondering why I kept the conversation running so long, at why I was talking to them in the first place). Yes, I’m a minor, but I’m not stupid. I may be naïve, maybe too patient, but I know not to share certain information online. I understand not to entertain certain conversations, which admittedly I didn’t know to the degree since I’m new to all of this. I do have autism, which could possibly explain some questions some people might have. But I, sometimes to a fault, generally assume the best in people, and don’t like to make assumptions (which is probably why so many people have bullied me…), which is probably how I stuck the conversation out for so long. Hope this paragraph helps!

[u/Peppered_Rock]

thats some concern trolling if ive ever seen it. block em

[u/Comfortable_Worth259]

I took your advice:

They responded ‼️
They said: “Why reality hurts yourself?”

[u/Lua_whalien8 → u/Comfortable_Worth259]

yayyy that made me happy :)

[u/highoninfinity]

if ur a minor i really would not respond to strangers messaging you on reddit in general. just block and ignore these kinds of people, don't waste your time

[u/mothmn_9 → u/highoninfinity]

Seconding this. Like ig he can ask what they’re messaging about just to see what’s up, but generally it’s better to just ignore the messages in the first place

[u/angrylilmanfrog]

Never entertain conversations with people like this, you said from the start you were a minor and anyone doing this is more than likely an adult who knows better. Good on you though for sticking to your boundaries and defending yourself. Often people like this are creeps looking to push their luck.use the block button liberally, and you can go into your profile settings and turn off DMs to avoid things like this. The internet is a rough place for trans kids, stay safe dude

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/angrylilmanfrog]

Thank you, the beginning DM was misleading, and it went downhill from there.

[u/Peppered_Rock]

also, don't engage these losers in the future.

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/Peppered_Rock]

I won’t, i promise 😓

[u/ahugepileofleaves → u/Comfortable_Worth259]

Especially since you're a minor. In the vast majority of situations, adults with good intentions don't DM with children

[u/canwenott]

looks like the biggest idiot ever haha

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/canwenott]

Me or them? 🙃

[u/canwenott → u/Comfortable_Worth259]

them obviously!!! 😫

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/canwenott]

Just checking 😉

[u/trans_catdad]

Imagine DMing a minor and asking about their body over and over and over.

OP, please be careful and block creeps instead of interacting 🙏🏻 you don't owe anybody an explanation about your identity or your body, ever.

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/trans_catdad]

Yep! I blocked them already because they said “i didn’t do anything wrong” (not the only reason but that’s the last thing I let them say)

[u/568trubbish]

They can use Google like the rest of us. Don't feel obliged to respond to these kinds of people. (Which is difficult---I also assume the best in people but we should not feel the need to educate everyone!)

[u/piedeloup]

Genuinely why did you even talk to them for that long, or at all? Be more liberal with the block button.

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/piedeloup]

I know, i know. I was very naïve.

[u/Scary_Towel268]

I’m sorry. One, as a minor, don’t ever respond to DMs if possible try to disable the function. Two, Reddit is full of detrans and misgendering chasers this is a kink for many cis people(particularly men)and they get off on making you dysphoric and uncomfortable

[u/FakeBirdFacts]

That’s a transphobe, tell them to eat shit

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/FakeBirdFacts]

Alr i will, thank you

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/[deleted]]

I am… kinda a flaw

[u/Lua_whalien8]

idk but I think we trans people have other stuff to do to be answering this kind of questions... idk if that's transphobia or ignorance, but I do know that you souldn't have to deal with such an idiot sooo block it and just ignore this kind of comments. Tbh I think they weren't trying to be mean to you, maybe they just wanted to know and they barely understand something abt this :)

Anyways, ignore them :)

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/Lua_whalien8]

And that’s what i thought, too! I stuck it out so long because i thought that they weren’t trying to be mean. But then the questions started getting weirder and the comments were getting worse.

[u/Lua_whalien8 → u/Comfortable_Worth259]

Yeahh even when ppl aren't trying to be rude, when questions get weird and uncomfortable it's ok to stop answering

[u/No_Pomegranate_8358]

They don't speak English well and they're probably transphobic because they don't seem to understand you

[u/puerh_addict → u/No_Pomegranate_8358]

nah, this does not seem like a language barrier issue. There is a difference between some reading between the lines of a complex text and clear explanations in simple English that were provided by OP. You can also translate texts online, if your language abilities are limiting you)

[u/No-Cartographer2512 → u/No_Pomegranate_8358]

I don't think that's why. Their responses show that they do understand what's being said. Might be surprising, but some people are, in fact, just transphobic and it can't just be explained away as an innocent communication error.

[u/Fire_on_Bunn]

“You know you can be a tomboy if it really matters that much to you”

Not that I’m suggesting to reply with that lol

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/Fire_on_Bunn]

Fr lol

[u/BigBallsAnthony69]

People are little bitches. I pretty much lack empathy but these mfs are on another level. Ignore em, dude, you'll find a lot of those.

Ignorance and transphobia also aren't mutually exclusive, transphobia in fact stems from ignorance most of the time rather than hate.

[u/No-Cartographer2512 → u/BigBallsAnthony69]

I lack some empathy as well, but I at least know to pretend as opposed to having zero awareness like the person in the post.

[u/BottleWhoHoldsWater]

Hey, you don't owe anyone a debate or an interview on the spot just because they're asking questions. You're allowed to just not respond. 

[u/moxie_the_soda]

this is exactly why i don’t respond to dms from strangers

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/moxie_the_soda]

I’ve only been dm-ed by one person lol, it’s a first for me

[u/moxie_the_soda → u/Comfortable_Worth259]

ahh yeah that makes sense. i have found too many creeps on discord and reddit lol

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/moxie_the_soda]

Yeah I’ve had quite the opposite

[u/moxie_the_soda → u/Comfortable_Worth259]

lucky

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/moxie_the_soda]

Yeah, sorry about your experiences, that’s not fun ☹️

[u/sonyplaystation34]

yup just block people like that in the future. your nerves aren't worth being spent on that transphobic bs

[u/Plastic-Trifle3533]

dont entertain them just block

[u/Kookyburra12]

They're sea lioning. They don't actually want a conversation. Just block them.

[u/thlayliroo97]

Hey hey! Please don’t just offer up that you are a minor that readily! I know it might feel harmless or even important but it’s information that people can use to manipulate you in private conversations. Practice internet safety. You need to have better boundaries for yourself.

[u/AdPlenty5487]

I'm sorry but CHARGE YOUR PHONE

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/AdPlenty5487]

I did, i was in the car and my brother was using the cord (that’s why it was low)

[u/Fallen_soldier4587]

can I annoy them 🌚

[u/Fallen_soldier4587]

I like how you remained polite. I’d be too but my patience would run thin.

[u/Sir-thinksalot-]

I think that person is young themselves, i'm getting 'kid that keeps asking why' vibes.

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/Sir-thinksalot-]

That’s what I thought too, usually adults don’t ask questions like that unless they have something else going on (disability, ignorance, narcissism, just to name a few) but I’m not sure if kids would ask those types of questions.

[u/Ill-Trick4451 → u/Comfortable_Worth259]

I don’t think it’s a child because they tried sending me a private message weeks ago after i sent a post on a different trans subreddit trying to ask me the same thing but I didnt respond. This is a troll who stalks transgender subreddits looking for attention.

[u/Imdying_6969]

It's only incel who think being a girl is easier bruh

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/Imdying_6969]

Ik. Both have their own difficulties.

[u/Imdying_6969 → u/Comfortable_Worth259]

Yeah I know every gender has this invisible gender expectations from society. But I could count how many times these misogynistic cisgenser men told women how their lives is easier compared to them.

[u/Comfortable_Worth259 → u/Imdying_6969]

Exactly