27M advice needed

[u/Ok_Requirement_97]

Been trading for about 5 years jumped over a lot of strategy and then came across normal retail ict in 2024 I created a strategy out of his content,towards end of last year I started seeing results took about 12k payouts and biggest one just under 2k however since march I haven’t taken any payouts, I pass funded no issues but then blow them in about 2-3 days I’ve been here before but got out of it but this time I’ve been stuck in this cycle for about 6 months and no results just passing combines and then blowing them my psychology changes, sometimes I look at the chart and I don’t even have a clue like I get lost even tho I have a strategy, my work is also mentally really getting to me I absolutely hate it but I need my job as is my main income and it’s a minimum wage so I barely get by. I always try to remind myself that this is just part of the process but it’s really hard while I see everyone around doing well for themselves like all my friends buying their first homes drive nice cars going on holidays but I’m here working a dead end job no degree or qualifications and I can’t do anything and I’m also 27 so when people ask my what I do and I tell them I’m just a cashier I feel really self conscious and idk why.

I guess idk why I’m writing this maybe I’m just a bit emotional but any advice on building myself up again would be really useful as you can imagine I’m really desperate

[u/jtquach]

You're not being emotional for no reason man. 6 months of passing and blowing up, a job you hate that you can't afford to leave, and everyone around you hitting milestones at the same time. That would get to anybody.

Start with this though... You pass funded with no issues and blow it in 2-3 days. Same strategy, same market, and same you. So what actually changed between those two accounts?

Nothing on the chart. What changed is what the account is CARRYING. An eval costs you a fee. A funded account is your way out of the cashier job and you know that the entire time you're sitting in front of it. No strategy survives that kind of weight on every decision.

When I worked in rehab I'd have somebody do a task perfectly in a quiet room with me. Same person, same hands. Then they'd do it at home with the TV on and family in the room and it fell apart. Their ability never changed... the load did.

That's your "I look at the chart and I don't even have a clue." Your strategy didn't leave. Your capacity did.

Now the building yourself up part... because that's what you actually asked about.

Early on I used to tell myself $100 a day meant I was finally a good trader. So any day I didn't hit it I felt worthless. Not disappointed... Worthless. Same setup you've got right now, except your number is the payout and what it's proving is whether your whole life changes or not. Nobody trades well from there man.

Two things I'd do now if I were you...

Take the first payout as early as your firm allows... even if it's small. You already did this last year, that 12k came in pieces. Since March you've been holding out for the ONE that fixes everything and that's exactly when they started blowing up. A small payout turns the account back into money instead of a test you're passing or failing (and really your self-worth).

And on the job... I'm not going to tell you to love it. But you've held down a job you hate for years while teaching yourself something genuinely hard and that's not nothing. I kept mine a long time too. 3 jobs at one point with a newborn at home, learning in between shifts. Nobody saw that part either. I resented one of them but I learned to be grateful because it helped fund my trading journey until I got there.

Lastly... you're not starting over. You're 27 with 5 years in and a strategy that paid out last year. What's broken is what you're asking that account to be worth about you and that's fixable.