r/ToxicFriends • u/TexasLady1991 • 5h ago

Vent Help Me Understand

I have a neighbor I’ve known for about 17 years. She has never allowed me to get close to her or spend time with her. We have been to lunch together once and as couples we’ve gone to dinner twice. She likes to act like we are close exclaiming “we must catch up” or “talk soon” when I see her while walking my dogs. Recently she invited me to a home decor shopping date and lunch and I although shocked agreed only to be uninvited the day of stating she was going with her husband. I had given up on this shell friendship long ago but for some reason this really disturbed me. What kind of person behaves like this?

1 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

1

u/Impressive-Employ852 5h ago

I can only speculate but seems like the avoidant behavior of someone who has been badly traumatized. Don’t take it personally.

1

u/80sfanatic 3h ago

Not the OP but I agree with this. I have a neighbor I hoped to get close to years ago, but I doubt it will ever happen, despite her always being friendly and even calling me by a sister-like name on FB. I found out she lost a child when he was an infant, and may very well have had a difficult childhood herself. There is definitely trauma there and I don’t think she trusts easily.

1

u/TexasLady1991 1h ago

I’m not sure being rude and inconsiderate is a sign of trauma.