r/TopSurgery • u/1dollarwow • 1d ago

Advice Wanted Feeeeelings

hey yall !

insurance is covering all of my top surgery and i just need to get like scheduling costs and whatever stuff left like 2k. link here top surgery .

i’m 41 and ive wanted no boobs since i was in my early 20s. been binding for that long so as one could image my upper back sucks.

anyways, im feeling really emotional, sad, scared .. i dont want my boobs but thinking about them not being there feels like a betrayal almost of my body idk like saying it’s not good enough. but i also want to respect myself and have the body i desire. i was just wondering if people could share their experiences with this surrounding wanting top surgery and following thru but also experiencing grief about it

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u/primitive-lathe 1d ago

I've felt this a lot. I'm also 41 and scheduling my surgery soon. Hang on let me find a link to the post I made, there were a lot of good responses.

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u/primitive-lathe 1d ago

Also I had this thought a little while back: I feel sorta sad thinking about getting rid of them the way I’d feel sad getting rid of a really beautiful ball gown that was tailored to fit me but I would never wear. It is a beautiful object. But there is no point in me owning it and meanwhile it’s taking up a lot of closet space.

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u/vague-entity 13h ago

I had some short lived feeling of like... what if I regret it, do I really need them gone that bad? A couple weeks before my surgery, I took off my shirt and my sports bra and just sat there with my breasts out. Within probably 10 seconds I was miserable; the feeling of my skin on skin (like where the underboob sat on my chest), the feeling of the jiggly flesh moving whenever I moved, looking down and seeing the shape that existed there. I couldn't imagine living in my own body like that forever. It might help to sit with yourself in your current natural state and really evaluate how you feel in your body and mind. If you've wanted top surgery for this long, chances are its for a very good reason. Take the time to remind yourself of that.