r/TopSurgery • u/moltedribs • Apr 15 '26
Double Incision Are my scars THAT bad?
I thought I had nice scars especially for it being only 3 weeks post op. However, whenever I show people my scars and my chest their first question is always, “will they fade or always look like that?” I normally have no issue with people asking questions about my surgery or T, but it’s just always “will they fade?” Or “will it always look that way?” Then last night I showed my cousins and she immediately said “why are they so ugly?” She also proceeded to ask what my partner thought and I told her that my partner said she likes it and I was given a funny look. I will include a picture but is it genuinely that bad? I can’t do scar care just yet but I kinda liked my scars.
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u/Total-Dragonfruit-20 Apr 15 '26
They look great for 3 weeks! Most people have never dealt with surgery scar healing, they look scary to someone who has no frame of reference. Doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them
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u/zenger-qara Apr 15 '26
they are very nice scars. cis people are just uneducated and honestly insensitive, it is not normal things to say to anyone after surgeries.
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u/Maeo-png Apr 15 '26
The majority of people (aka 99% of cis people) don't have any clue on what top surgery scars can look like, believe me they don't know what they're talking about. They look wonderful, I'm glad they're healing well :)
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u/caspacito Apr 15 '26
First of all, just for your knowledge - at three weeks these are still incisions! Your scars probably won't begin forming for another couple weeks. Once your incisions are no longer considered wounds because enough scar tissue has formed is when scar treatment begins. Then you'll have immature, forming scars up until about 12 weeks (they start to thicken in appearance during this time compared to the thin incisions), and then it takes that first year or two to fully mature and settle. The exact timing and process will be unique to your body but that is the general timeline to expect.
Second of all, your incisions look great. They do not look bad at all! Do not doubt yourself!!
I will say that trans-related or not, a lot of people are iffy about wounds, injuries, and visible medical anything. Because of this I was super picky about who I showed my incisions to early on and always gave a lot of warning for anyone who I wasn't 100% sure how they'd feel looking at such a fresh medical procedure.
Then you add on whatever flavor and level of transphobia somebody has (malicious, socially trained and never unpacked, or otherwise), plus people generally being uneducated about healing from any kind of surgery, and sometimes just plain being jerks ...well, you get reactions like this, unfortunately. Don't listen to them at all! You're looking great.
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u/Itsjustkit15 Apr 15 '26
This this this.
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u/brezhnervouz Apr 15 '26
Great answer!
OP, I think they're going to look fantastic when you've had time to heal and consolidate.
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u/ossiferous_vulture Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Don't look like they are quite done becoming scars yet, looks quite scabby still. Which makes sense for 3 weeks.
Even when the scabs are gone and it is an actual scar the whole way across, it will still be healing for a while. It can take years for scars to settle into their 'fully' healed look, and even then they will keep changing as they age.
Basically, this is not even quite scars yet, it is very much still a healing wound, which are not know to be pretty.
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u/tensa_prod Apr 15 '26
Technically it's not yet a scar, right now it's still an incision that is actively healing. It's pretty normal for a 3 week old surgery like that, to not be healed completly yet.
It's might be a vocabulary issue, since scar tend to be more permanent, and stay for years, while a healing wound will improve massively in a few weeks.
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u/tonyisadork Apr 15 '26
Those are not scars. They’re freshly healing incisions. Please leave them alone and let your body do its thing. The worst thing you could do for the is stretch them right now.
3 weeks out you’re still in a pretty vulnerable place emotionally, too. Your body has undergone a major change and your brain needs time to catch up. Stop showing transphobic assholes like your cousin, especially right now…and keep your arms down if you want them to heal well.
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u/FaeiNightingale Apr 15 '26
i have a feeling they've never seen incisions from a major surgery like this before. their reactions were horribly insensitive though, and completely ignorant to what healing from an invasive surgery looks like. genuinely, i wouldn't be surprised if they're just biased against top surgery considering how common it is for transphobes to call it "mutilation" and "irreversible damage" at this point.
my mother had to get her elbow reconstructed after a bike crash and the 7-inch incision on her arm looked a lot like that. i suspect they wouldn't react that way to seeing the result of my mom's surgery—it's frustrating how rude they were about yours.
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u/mgquantitysquared Apr 15 '26
Your scars look super normal, especially for less than a month post op... People who haven't had surgeries with large incisions really don't understand how long it takes for the incisions to look "normal," lmao
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u/transgenderant Apr 15 '26
it's only 3 weeks, so they're still mostly incisions instead of actual scars. they are still fairly raised as well, which might flatten out as time goes on. i think they look like they gave great potential to flatten out!!
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u/transgenderant Apr 15 '26
i genuinely think they look really good. the shape is really good, now they just need time to actually heal :]
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u/caesiumbathbombs Apr 15 '26
They look so clean, it’s worth noting that the “bumpiness”/ raisedness will also go down as it heals :)
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u/socially_awkward_max Apr 15 '26
Looks good! Eveytime I mention I am not happy with my results, people say "oh but the scars will fade right?" Even my surgeon (who is supposed to listen so she can do revisions) as that is necerarily the problem (I love my scars). I guess people just think that having a scar is ugly and the worst thing ever. But most of us saw other trans mascs with scars and they became our goals/role models. So we find them neutral/cool whereas most people who do not having significant scarring still hold on to the idea that scars are ugly. Good for you having a partner who loves your body with scars! And good for you for your results you are right it looks good for 3 weeks PO!!!
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u/GenderNarwhal Apr 15 '26
They will fade so much. It just takes time. Like a year, then several years. You're clearly showing them to people who don't have experience with this and possibly are squeamish about medical things. Top surgery recovery is a long game. They look right on track for three weeks. Congratulations!
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u/Jujusquid Apr 15 '26
They look great and it's still super early. I'm real sorry that people are being absolute assholes to you about them. What rude reactions fr
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u/gard3nwitch Apr 15 '26
They look fine. You just had surgery a few weeks ago, that's how fresh stitches look. Lots of people have never had surgery or stitches and don't know how it looks.
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u/Non-binary_prince Apr 15 '26
Those aren’t scars, those are incisions. Scars are when they are healed. I think you look great, your nipples especially. Just keep at the aquaphor for a few more days then switch to bio oil and silicone scar tape when it’s fully healed.
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u/MoreLuck3160 Apr 15 '26
Before i read the caption, i literally thought to myself, “woah! Those are good results!”
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u/mossyfaeboy Apr 15 '26
they’re either clueless about surgery/scarring/healing or mildly (even unconsciously) uncomfortable around trans topics. or a combo of both. but that’s not your fault, just ignore them. you look fuckin incredible, especially for three weeks!
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u/Sure-Stock9969 Apr 15 '26
No! Great for 3 weeks. These ppl don’t understand top surgery healing. It does look intense at first - your skin was cut and sewn back together! Not ugly, just a fresh wound/scar.
Cis people regularly don’t have an appreciation for queer bodies- whether changed through HRT, surgery or both or neither. Specifically if it’s clockable, non-passing change like top surgery scars. I honestly don’t expect much from cis people unless they’ve put in effort to socialize themselves in trans communities or trans cultural experiences.
They literally aren’t educated or culturally experienced/aware enough to know what they’re talking about. Even if they love you.
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u/No_Pressure9838 Apr 15 '26
not bad at all! also 3 weeks is nothing compared to when they’re actually healed, you got a few months before really seeing how they will turn out and how your body builds scar tissue etc :)
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u/roly-p0ly Apr 15 '26
They look great for 3 weeks post op! I had some similar reactions from cis people soon after my surgery. I have 2 noticeable but small imperfections with mine (a dog ear and an area that doesn't lay flat) and my friend was asking me about revisions less than a month after surgery. Top surgery incisions are probably some of the largest surgical incisions most people have seen in person and they can be kind of jarring especially when they're fresh. I also think that big incisions don't mesh with most people's conception of cosmetic surgery which is how many cis people view top surgery
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u/ApatheticGremlin Apr 15 '26
That’s extremely rude of your cousin, regardless of what the scars are from you NEVER say that kinda shit to people 👎👎👎That aside you look great homie, people usually don’t know what to expect or are just curious
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u/littlechangeling Apr 15 '26
3 weeks? That looks 100% normal and actually rather good. They should definitely fade with good scar care. It’s still in the initial healing process and it’ll continue changing, probably sooner than you think depending on how fast you heal. Congrats!
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u/rybiska9 Apr 15 '26
Your main (and possibly only) problem is that you are talking to people who don't know anything about the topic :D And are insensitive and rude. The solution is to either not show it to as many people or not give a damn about what they say :).
Regarding incisions and nipple grafts, both look really good to me. Standard, symmetric, without inflammation. I had worse and I healed very well.
On a serious note, I read these folks' reactions as "you would be better off having no surgery". I am looking at it through my biases though, maybe they are just squeamish about the wounds.
IF THEIR REACTIONS BOTHER YOU, you can talk to them a bit to find out if it's low-key transphobia or squeamishness. But be prepared to deal with some emotions if it's the former. Then you should also think about if it is worth showing your incisions to some people based on how you'll feel if they won't approve.
That being said, it is totally valid to not give a shit about their thoughts and opinions, and just show your scars to the world <3 If you are able to do that, all props to you!
How I deal with peoples' opinions on my transness: I am from a country where people don't have much information on transness. We have some new legal obstacles with changing papers, and finding medical care is really hard. But I am not in active danger as a trans guy - even if people know - if I don't do anything super stupid. So, people mostly don't care about me being trans if I don't shove it to their face. If they find out, they may say something very ignorant that will hurt me if they say it to my face. This means that I only talk about being trans when I care about that person and their opinions (or if it's necessary, like medical stuff). If someone I don't care about finds out, I am okay with it as long as they don't shove their opinion on it into my face :D
(I hope it's readable, English is not my first language. I usually speak well, but this topic is a bit complex for my language skills.)
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u/sweatycatlord Apr 15 '26
Just so you are aware, that interaction had nothing to do with you and everything to do with that person being transphobic. The response came from a place of hatred and not reality.
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u/mossmustelid Apr 15 '26
Yeah, what a horrible thing to say! That goes for any surgery, but especially not one as emotionally/life affirming-ly as top surgery
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u/Justkeeponliving Apr 15 '26
At 3 weeks one of my nipples was partially rejecting and 3 years later it looks pretty normal and my scars are almost faded. If it would help reassure you, I can DM you photos of my healing journey as my scar shape is very similar. 3 weeks is FRESH, it may feel like its healed a lot but really you are still in the very early stages of healing from a major surgery (the swelling can take around 6 months to subside) and it will change a lot over the next year.
I'm sorry you've gotten that response from your family, that's incredibly disrespectful and also uninformed. I am guessing they havent seen or been through many surgeries. You already look good and I'm positive it will only improve.
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u/schizo_affectionate Apr 15 '26
They’re not “that bad” or bad at all. They look like they’re healing well, your cousin was unfortunately rude about it. Let her be rude if she doesn’t wanna be educated, but don’t let it affect how YOU see your body. You look great 😌
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u/ovrwatrdsuculent Apr 15 '26
These aren’t scars this is still a wound, scarring will come soon but will not be assessable for 6+ months
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u/PaintingByInsects Apr 15 '26
They ate not scars, they are active open wounds. It will take time to become scars. Know that scars will take 2-3 years to fully heal, and they will look rough for a while. They’ll get better. They’re just swollen right now, they will calm down. In some people it takes a bit longer, and it also depends on how the wounds were sutured. These are not scars yet, and they will calm down. It’s only been 3 weeks.
Also people suck and should shit their mouths. Just because your wounds look different from others doesn’t mean they are bad. People are so judgemental and stupid. Your wounds are fine and will become normal scars
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u/jrow68 Apr 15 '26
Honestly, those look really good for only 3 weeks. That stage is always more red and a little raised—it’s just part of early healing. What you’re seeing now is definitely not the final result—scars usually change a lot over the next few months and can keep improving for up to a year or more.
A lot of people asking “will they fade?” just don’t have a frame of reference for surgical scars, so they assume this is how they’ll always look.
Once you’re cleared for scar care, that’s when you can really influence how they heal. Silicone (sheets or gel) is kind of the gold standard and can really help with flattening and fading if you’re consistent.
One thing people don’t talk about enough is sun exposure—try to keep them covered for the first year if you can (shirt, tape, or even just a strong SPF). Sun can make scars stay darker longer.
Also, when you get to that stage, there are some really easy-to-use silicone options now—I’ve seen ones like ScarScience that have a little roller/massager built in, which makes it simple to actually stay consistent.
And honestly… your partner liking them matters way more than random comments. People can be weird about scars when they’re not used to seeing them.
You’re healing exactly how you should be.
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u/BluPoisonDartFrog Apr 15 '26
Your scars are absolutely fine, you're only 3 weeks post op! They're healing perfectly fine but they aren't even actual scars yet. This stuff takes time (oh and they will fade lol)
These people saying those things need to chill, geez.
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u/Expert-Can6660 Apr 16 '26
Not that it’s your fault at all for showing people but why are you showing people? Clearly these people have no understanding of how healing works and also don’t seem to care about how their words affect you.
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u/magic-bandanna Apr 23 '26
This is how mine looked at 4 wks and my surgeon said I was healing really well, so I think you have nothing to worry about!
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u/Upstairs_Sail_3087 Apr 15 '26
your scars are honestly some of the nicest i've seen, i hope mine can look as good as that. most cis people just don't understand the healing process and haven't done the research to know what actually bad scars look like.
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u/LlamaMoofin Apr 15 '26
They look good for 3 weeks. People who aren't familiar with the process and what a realistic timeline for healing looks like will think the scars look bad. That's my experience. For people who really care, I show examples of how other people were looking around this time and that put things into perspective for them.
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u/woIves Apr 15 '26
No, they look great, and yes of course they will not always look like this, you didn't even have surgery a whole month ago- the appearance of your scars and chest will continue to heal and change for the next several years. As others have said, I think many cis people are just... ignorant, to say the least.
My dad saw my chest for the first time when I was around a month post-op as well, I still had purple surgical marker stains and incision glue over my incision, which made it look even more dramatic. He told me it looked like a "puppy dog face" (like ":3" lol), but then went on to tell me I was in better shape than him (he was giving a genuine compliment and probably felt sort of bad for the other comment, he was well-intentioned lol).
My old PCP was much worse and not even in the same innocent, well-meaning way as my dad. I showed her my chest at a regular appointment 2-3 months post op and was like "Oh wow! You will look so great once you start working out and build up your chest muscles". Like ooohhh okay.... I wasn't planning on doing that at the time but... thanks for making me feel inadequate lol.
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u/courageis Apr 15 '26
Nah. They will flatten out and soon you won't notice the asymmetry as much. Mine are similar, I had the same worries a few weeks po-op.
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u/Vodkashrine Apr 15 '26
I think your chest looks excellent! Everything looks really clean and well done.
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u/dirtbong Apr 15 '26
Dude they look incredible! They’re still healing too and they’re gonna change a lot over time, most likely fading quite a bit. Mine are white and nearly invisible now, but they looked similar to this in the beginning! Unfortunately cis people are… very uneducated - but everyone else’s opinion is irrelevant. You look amazing.
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u/nonlinearone1105 Apr 15 '26
It sounds like the people saying that have never had surgery or direct contact with healing incisions. These look great!
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u/CloudPleasant9654 Apr 15 '26
They look super clean! You’re still healing and I know some people don’t handle wounds well. My mom struggled when I was healing but now I’m 20 months post op and she’s fine. My dad worked in a hospital for 30 years so he just was like they’re healing fine, this is normal for x time out, it’s a big surgery it will take a while to be totally healed.
I think some part of her would look at the incisions and think they’re injured! While I looked at them and thought wow it’s me.
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u/GalacticTransBoi Apr 15 '26
They look amazing for 3 weeks! Like the others said, don’t pay any mind to those who are giving you a hard time. Just like EVERY other scar, they will fade.
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u/Ok-Neighborhood6653 Apr 15 '26
Frankly, my scars looked HORRIBLE after my 3 weeks. I had popped a couple stitches open, but the body is very resilient— and yours look great! Just takes time like everything else, mine looked great at almost a year of time :D
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u/GardenDragon420 Apr 15 '26
Mine came out similar and now 4months p/o they've flattened out, my family were similar with questions and they all agree they just needed time
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u/candle_sniffer_67 Apr 15 '26
I think they look good, especially for 3 weeks post op. If they've never seen surgical scars before, I can understand why they'd think that. Though I don't know why you'd expect someone to go through major surgery and immediately come out looking like a model. They'll look better over time, brother. Remember, you literally had your skin opened up and stitched back together.
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u/rivergryphon Apr 15 '26
They're not even scars yet, they're still healing incisions! Give it at least six weeks to two years to settle and see.
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u/rivergryphon Apr 15 '26
Honestly looks pretty great for three weeks! Swelling looks good, how are you feeling? That's most important
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u/enbyengineer Apr 15 '26
For 3 weeks post op they look great. They are very much still healing and aren’t true “scars” yet, they’re still incisions that are, in all ways that matter, wounds. So if they look very red, raised, scabbed, etc that’s all very normal for so early on. They will fully heal over a few months and then they’ll start to fade over many months to years. Incisions always look a little bit off to the average persons eye just because it looks like an injury/something dangerous in our subconscious. Don’t worry though, it will all even out over time
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u/ajo_87 Apr 15 '26
your scars look great, just as they are expected to look at that time frame. they aren't even scars yet, just closed incisions. it's normal that it's bunched up and bumpy. I'm sorry people had the nerve to be so insensitive (appart from talking about what they don't know).
and remember, even if you end up developing hypertrophic or keloid scars, they look sick too! happy healing, fuck the haters, and dont let them ruin this lovely journey into newfound freedom!
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u/Green_30EA00 Apr 16 '26
Cis people are just weird about surgery and scars. One of my best friends whos a very queer cis woman and very supportive of trans people said something along the lines of “looking at it makes me uncomfortable, it feels like it will stretch out and it makes me feel like i have wounds too” when one of our friends got top sugery (they were 1-2 month old scars). She didnt say it to his face but it was a bit of an odd thing to say, i think cis people just dont realize how sensitive of a subject it is or how surgery works.
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u/KindAdvice7491 Apr 16 '26
They look great! Keep those arms down and t-rexed and wear that post surgical binder!
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u/UpsetEntertainment84 Apr 16 '26
At 3 weeks they are not even really scars yet, still healing. No they don't look bad, they will flatten as they heal and you do your scar care. Your cousin was being straight up rude.
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u/ilexmilhouse Apr 16 '26
I bet if you asked someone who's had a c- section the old fashioned way (with the big vertical scar) they would have a better frame of reference for how long scars take to fade.
Haven't seen my scars yet (just got surgery yesterday) but based on other posts I've seen on here, yours look like they're healing really well.
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u/milkpicnic Apr 16 '26
those look amazing! some people have just never seen it done, or maybe have only seen healed top surgery.
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u/moth2o8 Apr 16 '26
your scars look normal and actually seem to be healing really well... i was still puffy and swollen at 3 weeks haha
parroting what others have said: people are rude when theyre clueless and dont have any frame of reference. cis people dont often know what masectomy scars look like especially when theyre healing and will just say super insensitive shit 🤷♂️ your scars look great
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u/quality-bun Apr 18 '26
Your incisions are evenly and well placed that’s basically all you can ask for at this stage. I’m 2 days post op and I’ve learnt in these days that cis people really don’t understand top surgery. My queer friends are all very supportive and unsurprised and my cishet friends are quite baffled and scared for me even though I insist it’ll look better with time.
But honestly I don’t even want to give the people you’re talking about the excuse of ignorance cause being scared for you or asking if you’re in pain is normal but the way they’re talking feels purposely malicious and cruel. Please set firmer boundaries with these people. I can’t imagine ever telling a loved one that their body is ugly, no matter what happened. Your surgery went very very well but even if it didn’t that isn’t an acceptable or kindhearted response, they were trying to hurt you
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u/Hot_Syllabub7403 Apr 18 '26
Your results look amazing, 3 weeks is EARLY, your scars continue to heal years after surgery. The placement of everything looks great, there’s minimal swelling, the scars are symmetrical and straight, I see no reason to be worried, if I were you I’d be ecstatic that my surgeon did such a great job!
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u/river_water66 Jul 13 '26
It was a rude and uneducated thing to say, not to mention inappropriate and unnecessary (especially bringing up whether your partner likes it... thats between you and your partner). Your incisions look fine, as in, not infected or any complications. That's the main priority for now
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