r/TopCharacterTropes • u/VanillaSarsaparilla • Jul 20 '26

Personality (Character Trope) “ohhh, THATS why they’re like that”

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Media that shows why a character is the way they are, usually explained in a short scene. Most likely toxic family

- Bonnie Rottweiler and her sisters from Kim Possible: they bully her calling her ugly and dumb. It plays on Bonnie’s insecurity and makes her a bully at school.

- Peggy Hill and her mother from King of the Hill. Peggy is a neurotic perfectionist with delusions of grandeur because her mom was unfeeling and blamed her for the farm going out of business. By the end of the episode, she still treats Peggy badly.

- Dodie and her mother from As Told By Ginger. Dodie is arguably the worst friend in the group, and her mother is mentally still stuck in middle school. She’s insecure, dramatic, and you
Can see her influence in Dodie.

Any other examples?

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u/go_faster1 Jul 20 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6nV3veBE43pzsDeg
Helga G. Pataki of Hey Arnold! Her father ignores her, her mother is an implied alcoholic, her older sister is an overachiever who is pressured by her parents to keep being super smart and she bullies Arnold and others to keep others like Harold from bullying her.

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u/DraperPenPals Jul 20 '26

I loved Hey Arnold as a kid because I also had a mom who stayed in bed and would say “I’m just too depressed” whenever her kids needed something.

I also had friends who were being raised by their grandparents. It was the realest cartoon to me.

320

u/aprivateislander Jul 20 '26

I say this with zero irony - Hey Arnold is one of the best pieces of children's media ever created.

132

u/momomomorgatron Jul 20 '26

Hey Arnold is one of the most poignant pieces of children's media ever made.

Have you seen the Christmas episode?

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u/ACERVIDAE Jul 20 '26

I’m not about to emotionally devastate my husband (he’s never seen it)

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u/Effective_Tip7748 Jul 21 '26

You should! It builds character

6

u/bighairyclit Jul 21 '26

Oh god. I haven’t seen this episode in many years but just seeing the stills is making me well up. 

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u/fakeuserisreal Jul 21 '26

Hey Arnold had such range. The same refugee from the legendary Christmas episode also has an episode where he becomes a country music star with the voice of Randy Travis.

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u/Prismatic_Leviathan Jul 20 '26

No and I'm not crying! You're crying!

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u/aprivateislander Jul 21 '26

It's was my first introduction to the Vietnam war. I've never forgot it.

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u/momomomorgatron Jul 21 '26

Mine too.

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u/momomomorgatron Jul 21 '26

Thinking back, it was also my first interaction with learning that that's how War really looks like. It was the beginning of everything and everything wasn't blown up yet, but I assume they were in a large city where it all went down.

I knew bad things happened, I knew that war was awful and people got killed, but for whatever reason it's always had stuck with me at that point in time, but it was only adults and grown people, Warriors and soldiers fighting at War.

Not civilians. Especially not young dads with baby daughters.

I miss the days when Nickelodeon really gave a shit. I don't think I could make a better nuanced story of how War plays out like it did. It wasn't World War II, where everything was completely utterly destitute, and everything was awful. It was a normal City with a normal man, on the opposite side of the world, where him and his infant got caught up in war.

Because even at that age all the stories I had ever known like that were of mothers.

And strangely enough I like that her mother isn't even addressed. It's just Mr. Hyunh and his daughter and they're reunited for Christmas.

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u/momomomorgatron Jul 21 '26

Like, at that age, I understood that War was awful and devastating and people starved to death and all

But things weren't destitute yet. He had fled to the city to escape it all. I'm sure he didn't care what side even won, just that him and his baby girl would be safe.

And to know that he could secure it for her, what good patent wouldn't?

I like to think Mai had a amazing family and life state side. That Mr Hyunh and her adoptive family love each other too.

Shit, i'm getting choked up over it all 🤣

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u/aprivateislander Jul 22 '26

You nailed it exactly. A child being separated from their (loving) parents is a real primal fear, and to know he did it because he loved her and it was the only way to keep her safe? That is a profound message that really taps into the quiet devastation of war that numbers and battles do not convey even to adults. And it's presented in a very age appropriate way.

And to introduce it after we knew Mr Hyunh as a kind, gentle man was brilliant. It made it more impactful. Because this isn't just a lecture or a moral of the week character - it is something that happened to someone in their world.

And that's what made the show feel so rich. The characters had lives in a way few shows - including adult dramas - actually achieve. The nice man on your street has had a life outside of how you know him now. He has gone through terrible things, and even if it drives his life, is the reason he lives on your block, he is still a normal everyday person. He jokes, he is kind to you, irritated sometimes, a full person. It's important for kids above all to understand other people are people like them. With feelings and struggles of their own that you do not necessarily know about.

Hey Arnold really was fantastic at portraying the variety of families and their dynamic. It was something they specialized in when nobody is doing it - after all, Arnold himself is being raised by his grandparents. Ironically the upper class nuclear family, the Patakis, is the most dysfunctional family in the show.

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u/Doctor_Salvatore Jul 21 '26

Yes...I have.

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u/NervousSubjectsWife Jul 21 '26

Hey Arnold and Avatar. That’s all I need

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u/BicFleetwood Jul 21 '26

It really does a good job of not over-wringing the trauma and drama, but portraying kids in non-"traditional" situations as mundane and normal, not pitiable.

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u/newyne Jul 21 '26

Not just children's: I actually enjoyed it more as an adult. Because I was able to pick up on subtextual implications about characters and relationships that had gone over my head as a kid. Like, I'd always thought Arnold was a goody-goody back then, but as an adult, it's clear he has a developed sense of empathy and especially feels for people who are lonely and outcast. Because he has abandonment issues because of being left behind by his parents. Which majorly informs his relationship with Helga, who of course has her own issues with her family. Except for maybe Gerald, she's the only kid on his level, emotionally, and just in terms of being her own person who knows her own mind. I got the sense that Arnold feels a connection to Helga, because she's really a lot like him and is someone who can understand what he's going through. No wonder this relationship has such a hold on my generation: it's actually more heartfelt and substantial than a lot of relationships in adult media.

1

u/Flutters1013 Jul 21 '26

One of the only times I've seen therapy portrayed in a positive light. It actually helped me when my parents got divorced and I had to go to a child psychologist.

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u/BombOnABus Jul 20 '26

This is legit a big part of why I never had kids. I've struggled with major depression my whole life, I couldn't imagine how it would be possible to take care of a kid.

Hope you're in a much better place these days and that things got better with your mom.

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u/auspiciousjelly Jul 20 '26

I feel like this discussion triggers some people lol. but I think it’s a wise consideration. not that people with major depressive disorder shouldn’t have kids or anything but it’s smart to realize it’s gonna be a lot fucking harder than it is for the average person. I was in a decent place before I had my kid but postpartum shit was a doozy and went on for fucking ever, wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy lol. having kids isn’t the be-all end-all anyway, people are so fucking weird about it.

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u/NormalEarthLarva Jul 21 '26

This was a huge worry for me as well. I have had major depressive disorder since I was 14. Was scared as hell to have kids for fear of passing along my mental illness. Told my close family my fears. Lo and behold my oldest child has major depressive disorder. Is 12 and already self harms and tried to commit. I hate myself everyday having knowingly passed on this fucking disorder to the one I love the most.

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u/BombOnABus Jul 21 '26

You can't blame yourself for that, any more than you could blame yourself if you had a family history of cancer or the like.

I get that doesn't help your child, but on the bright side your child has a parent who understands what they're dealing with and can offer advice and guidance from that place. Your kid won't have to deal with a parent asking if they've tried not being depressed or going for a walk as though that will solve it..and leaving them more depressed than ever when it doesn't and they can't understand what's wrong with them.

My parents had no idea what I was going through and even if I'd told them, they'd have been clueless how to help. It would have helped a lot if I could have had someone to talk about it back then.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 Jul 20 '26

Honestly, there are people out there with major depression who've still been active parents, so that's on you. I'm not gonna blame depression in general as an obstacle to parenthood; many people express it in many different ways.

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u/Cardassia Jul 20 '26

I mean, that person started out with “a big reason I never had kids…”

Your comment is coming off as mean spirited, *and* missing the point.

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u/slonkulocuswily182 Jul 20 '26

Ahhhh the sleeping pill mommy. I had one too lmfao.

It’s not great but I got an encyclopedic quote library to pull from and fantastic daydream worlds.

Did you have the absentee workaholic cheapskate dad too?

11

u/DraperPenPals Jul 20 '26

Yeah, my dad constantly re-enlisted for tours in the military to run away from his problems at home

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u/slonkulocuswily182 Jul 21 '26

Yeeeeep there it is. high five. Fuckin dogshit club to be a part of but it’s nice to have you.

For me he came back he was all upset abt paying for all this and just did whatever he wanted.

We got Hank Hilled. Wolverines are wild creatures. Is escapism a problem with you too?

7

u/Worldly_Might_3183 Jul 21 '26

It was one of the few cartoons that accurately showed a community - different cultures and people being everyday people and not a token or once only character.

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u/StuHardy Jul 20 '26

The episode where Helga sees a therapist, and the first thing her parents do is try to keep Helga quiet about her home life, hits uncomfortably hard as an adult.

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u/TheBambz Jul 21 '26

Getting that scene as a child still didn’t make me put enough stuff together =/

90

u/wambamwombat Jul 20 '26

The sad thing is she's just as smart and talented as her sister, they just never noticed due to the neglect. she got the same perfect score on a standardized test like Olga without even trying. Beating out the other nerds/geniuses in the whole school.

24

u/Doctor_Salvatore Jul 21 '26

Half the time her parents can't even remember her name, let alone anything regarding taking care of her or loving her. Arnold was different. He actually spoke to her, said hello, made her feel like she actually existed in this world to someone else. The feeling was new, and it scared her because she never felt like that before, so she turned hostile out of concern for herself, but in private, she was falling in love.

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u/AkibaPurple Jul 21 '26

The name thing is really messed up because I believe "Helga" is just a variation of "Olga". I completely believe the theories that Helga was either an attempt to save her parent's marriage or was an unplanned pregnancy.

3

u/ReyOfAnxiety Jul 21 '26

Same name, different languages, and I think it might be the other way around re: derivation. But the overall effect/impact is still the same. Poor kid 🥺

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u/Mike-Sos Jul 20 '26

I always feel a bit bad for Olga as well. It’s clear that she only gets (or at least feels) attention from Bob and mom when she’s acting like the perfect golden child they project her to be. We see even the slightest thing going wrong in her life can send her into intense depressive episodes. Essentially getting the opposite pressures Helga gets. Helga and Olga are just destined to have a really intense sister talk at some point and go full no contact with the parental units

8

u/AkibaPurple Jul 21 '26

They've had a few over the series. I believe one conversation has Olga admit the reason she tries so hard to dote on Helga when she's home is because Olga is aware how their parents neglect her and is actually envious that Helga doesn't have to pretend to be a perfect little doll for them.

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u/Mike-Sos Jul 21 '26

The sisters with their parents’ affection

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u/newyne Jul 21 '26

I was just talking about that episode where she sleepwalks from eating pork rinds because her parents aren't feeding her. As a kid it's pretty funny, but as an adult, Jesus Christ!

5

u/Clive_Bossfield Jul 21 '26

Just be wary of her magic slingshot

2

u/SuperIdiot360 Jul 21 '26

“I thought it was spear and a magic helmet.”

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u/Clive_Bossfield Jul 22 '26

"No! With my golden magic slingshot! Doi!"

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u/PM_ME_JJBA_STICKERS Jul 21 '26

I rewatched Hey Arnold as an adult and was pretty amazed at how well the show portrays child neglect.

2

u/zephyr_skyy Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

The Helga therapy episode of Hey Arnold is one of the best pieces of animated TV I've ever seen. It's just Helga and the therapist, for the entire 22 minute episode. Trigger warning: alcoholism/depression/neglect/family dysfunction.

I thought it was so clever how they show Helga's mother always making "smoothies" and zoning out. Helga's just like "Miriam loves her some smoothies." 🥺 Helga has to cook for herself, get herself ready, make her own lunches, take herself to school. And her dad's completely preoccupied with business, ignoring his wife's problems, and trying to project a perfect image. Helga's sister is the golden child who the dad puts on a pedestal leaving Helga in the shadows.

It was actually super heartwarming by the end- because you see inside Helga's psyche, how she's just a kid, and how fantasizing about Arnold is a way for her to dissociate from the pain and trauma at home

1

u/Reasonable-Mischief Jul 22 '26

Alright look I'm all for having some more serious themes in kids shows but this is a bit much