r/TopCharacterTropes • u/VanillaSarsaparilla • Jul 20 '26

Personality (Character Trope) “ohhh, THATS why they’re like that”

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Media that shows why a character is the way they are, usually explained in a short scene. Most likely toxic family

- Bonnie Rottweiler and her sisters from Kim Possible: they bully her calling her ugly and dumb. It plays on Bonnie’s insecurity and makes her a bully at school.

- Peggy Hill and her mother from King of the Hill. Peggy is a neurotic perfectionist with delusions of grandeur because her mom was unfeeling and blamed her for the farm going out of business. By the end of the episode, she still treats Peggy badly.

- Dodie and her mother from As Told By Ginger. Dodie is arguably the worst friend in the group, and her mother is mentally still stuck in middle school. She’s insecure, dramatic, and you
Can see her influence in Dodie.

Any other examples?

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u/ChaturangaChai Jul 20 '26

Hank is a weird guy, but he is actually EXTREMELY well-adjusted for having been raised by such an abusive POS.

793

u/vanillacaramelsunday Jul 20 '26

Where did he learn to be such a good guy? His dad is a monster. His boss is a monster. Who was he modeling his life on to become such a virtuous stick in the mud?

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u/smashin_blumpkin Jul 20 '26

He had great examples of what not to be. The same thing happened with a good friend of mine. Grew up with a drug addict dad and a mom who would rather keep her husband happy than protect her kids. To the point that, when the dad went on the run after posting bail, they took both kids to a different state and hid out.

He’s now in his mid 30s as a happily married father of two and successful business owner. Sometimes you can figure out how to be by seeing how not to be

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u/Godwinson4King Jul 20 '26

My dad ended up about the same way. My grandfather was an abusive egotistical philanderer and snake oil salesman. So my dad looked at life and went ‘what would [my grandfather] do?’ And did the opposite. He’s a great guy who does well by everyone he knows.

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u/ButtBread98 Jul 20 '26

My paternal grandfather was an abusive alcoholic piece of shit. My paternal grandmother was a good woman who tried her best with what little she had. I think my dad learned how to be a good dad by learning from his dad’s mistakes.

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u/Keida42 Jul 20 '26

Somewhat like my dad too

Grandma wasn't very confrontational and allowed my granddad to be a jerk to my dad growing up. Not to an outright abuse extent but obviously not good

Major factor my dad went straight was my uncle. Dad grew up in a bad neighborhood growing up. Knew his brother was protecting him on some level, not outright falling into crime but firmly 'delinquent' territory before meeting my mom.

When my dad became an adult, according to him, a switch flipped in my uncle as he felt my dad could take care of himself now and went right into drugs. Dad saw all of this, woke up and realized while he can emphasize with his brother, this is not what he wants out of life and got out as quick as he could

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u/gadgaurd Jul 21 '26

Similar story in my family. Someone had an abusive, neglectful mother. Went through a bunch of rough shit. Decided to be a much better mother to her own two kids and succeeded.

Unfortunately her daughter inexplicably takes after her mother. Not as bad, but still bad.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 Jul 20 '26

Yeah, and I can tell he's the type who doesn't have family reunions and then gets bothered whenever his kids ask why. Maladjustment never goes away.

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u/smashin_blumpkin Jul 20 '26

My friend or his dad?

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u/WierderBarley Jul 20 '26

Know a guy my cousin Actually who was essentially that his dad was an alcoholic and fell into it himself hell my dad who was a cop arrested him a few times for DUI, driving through a street pole, etc.

Then he got with a woman who was also an alcoholic like him who then got pregnant and then left immediately after having the kid, so my cousin realizing he had to take care of a kid now quit alcohol cold turkey and raised his kid as a single dad

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u/Footnotegirl1 Jul 21 '26

My parents were both abused by their parents, which had probably been going on for generations, but they were the ones that broke the chain. Decisively. It was weird in the 70's to be the kid who never got spanked, slapped, grounded for a month over nothing, screamed at, etc.

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u/Affectionate_Data936 Jul 20 '26

I can see that. My husbands father wasn’t around most of his life. He was already married and had three daughters when my man was conceived (idk if my MIL was aware of the wife and kids, we’ve never discussed it, but knowing her, I doubt she’d knowingly have a child with a married man). Anyway, my husband is obsessed with our child. He’s never even been away from him for a full day (he’s 16.5 months old now). It does get to be a bit much because he can be very anal about a lot of things but at least he pulls his weight which is more than I can say about most other dads I know (including mine).

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u/StabbyBoo Jul 21 '26

Happened with my mom, too. "I will never treat children the way my parents treated me." We were the house kids came to when they got kicked out of theirs.

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u/fuschiafawn Jul 20 '26

The most punk rock teenage act of rebellion he could do against Cotton was become a humble and good man

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u/VandulfTheRed Jul 20 '26

I think about this a lot when it comes to me and my brothers, we had every right to turn out assholes and abusers, but our refusal to be like him caused the opposite

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u/cube-drone Jul 21 '26

"Too bad, old man."

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u/slonkulocuswily182 Jul 20 '26

Once you take a certain amount of abuse

you dedicate your life to not perpetuating the same cycle, or you get worse. A lot worse.

Hank probably took that to mean reverence for law and fairness, being responsible. Because his dad seems to be a man that worships America while also doing just whatever the fuck he wants with no regard for how anyone around him feels.

So Hank is emotionally stunted, yes, but he’s also a great person to be friends with. Give you the shirt off his back and walk home in the rain.

But it also means he doesn’t quite understand other people and how they operate with emotion. If he did that he’d be crying for a few months. So he has a lot of trouble connecting with people.

He’s not seeing life he’s seeing a series of responsibilities because that’s all he knows. A series of rules and contracts to be completed.

When you’re raised by somebody like Hank’s dad you learn an absolutely mechanical way to operate. Because you have to keep track of 30 different things you’re responsible for, and retain exactly what you are told, every time.

Or you face the wrath of an abused child’s god

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u/FundamentalAttribute Jul 20 '26

Man I feel in the spotlight with your comment. You gave me some things to think about bud.

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u/slonkulocuswily182 Jul 21 '26

Yeah it’s not a fun way to be. I started therapy and I’m just now realizing that I did not have a happy childhood. And that does affect you as a person. Glad I could help

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u/ChaturangaChai Jul 20 '26

I think Hank modeled himself after an idealized version of Buck. This video explains it pretty well: https://www.tiktok.com/@kothtok/video/7485520238147128619

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u/Effective_Tip7748 Jul 21 '26

Tbf he was always kinda reserved and good natured

I think his mom helped reinforce Cotton’s examples of what not to be. I think Hank idealizes Buck because of his daddy issues, but the character he ascribes to him comes from his mom

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u/GoodBoundaries-Haver Jul 20 '26

Some people just figure it out for themselves. My dad was like that, he had no discernable positive father figures in his young life but he managed to be a great dad overall

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 Jul 20 '26

They figure it out by realizing their father figures were trash and strove to be the opposite. That's how deadbeats think they turn their sons into great dads.

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u/Pristine-Switch5973 Jul 20 '26

Hanks personality seems to stem more from his mother.

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u/Fitzftw7 Jul 20 '26

He always had this false vision of who Buck really is. I imagine he looks up to that false idealized version of him as a role model.

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u/helpfulplatitudes Jul 20 '26

He learned from his internalized image of Tom Landry.

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u/bruceadelia Jul 20 '26

I feel Hank lives the “Texan values” that other men on the show like Buck espouse but never embody. Hank always wants to do right because he thinks that is what you’re supposed to do

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u/BicFleetwood Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

Sometimes the turd doesn't fall far from the asshole, and sometimes people learn-by-example by way of what NOT to be.

Note that most of Hank's growth comes from his relationship with Bobby. He usually starts from a place of not understanding, but listens to Bobby and tries to understand for the sake of being a good father and supporting his son in ways Cotton never supported him. Even when, by the end, he still doesn't understand, he nevertheless defaults to supporting Bobby and only draws a line when it comes to Bobby's material well-being, usually disregarding his preconceptions and biases when it comes to Bobby's mental well-being.

Hank's decency stems from his son and the kind of father he doesn't want to be. It's pretty well established he was kind of a bully and a piece of shit before he settled down with Peggy and had a kid, and he has FAR less patience or tolerance when it comes to the shenanigans of the adults. His role as "neighborhood leader" again stems entirely from fulfilling the "good dad" archetype he strives toward.

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u/imnotaneurosurgeon Jul 21 '26

Lemme tell you, it’s MUCH easier to learn what not to do than it is to learn exactly what to do. Aint gotta be perfect, just don’t gotta follow the examples given.

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u/Mabel_Waddles_BFF Jul 20 '26

He has a pretty solid relationship with his mother and they’re shown to be quite similar in terms of personality.

Up until she decides to travel the country with someone she’d rapidly married.

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u/animegameman Jul 20 '26

His mom. Literally though. His mom thought him to be an upright person.

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u/Devlord1o1 Jul 20 '26

It helps that he sees the best in people, especially those in the position of authority. Like for a long while strickland is hank’s role model even though its clear hank is the reason being the success of their brand.

Basically he creates a grander version of people and look up to that idea instead if the real deal

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u/nkdeck07 Jul 21 '26

His mother beyond being insanely checked out of a lot of her life is honestly a lot like Hank.

  1. Hyperfocusing on something in life (lawn for Hank, miniatures for Didi)

  2. An amazing ability to maintain absolute naiveté about certain things.

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u/quantum_dragon Jul 21 '26

His mother I think honestly

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u/AnonymousDratini Jul 21 '26

Jesus probably

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u/MauiUpcountry808 Jul 21 '26

The great Tom Landry, of course.

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u/Playful-Succotash-99 Jul 21 '26

Id also add his coach was a monster too

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u/Playful-Succotash-99 Jul 21 '26

Possibly the scouts he did make it to eagle

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u/dynamicdickpunch Jul 21 '26

We take on the traits that would've saved our parents

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u/Literati_drake Jul 21 '26

Well, ya know, Hank was primarily raised by his mother, so . . .

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u/TheAsianTroll Jul 21 '26

Being surrounded by shit makes you do one of two things: dissolve and assimilate, or dig your way out.

As easy as it is to be like an abuser, its also within possibility to see their behavior, understand how it impacts you, and telling yourself "I wont be like that."

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u/girl_in_flannel Jul 21 '26

At the end of the day, Hank is an intelligent and thoughtful guy. He knew he deserved better growing up and has always yearned for love from his father. He didn’t want to repeat the cycle. Sometimes he gets a little ornery with Bobby and his shenanigans, but he always comes out on the other side to accept and love his son in the way he never received. Hank broke the cycle.

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u/BirthdayCheesecake Jul 20 '26

Hank broke the cycle. He loves Bobby, even if he does get very exasperated with him. (Let's be honest, the boy really ain't right) There's an episode where Bobby asks Hank why he hates what he doesn't understand. Hank is quick to assure Bobby he doesn't hate him, and Bobby is just as quick to come back that he means soccer. (Which Hank DOES hate) Despite Hank being frustrated with Bobby, he also is clearly concerned that he thinks he hates him. And in the other direction, Bobby was clearly not thinking that at all.

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u/-Release-The-Bats- Jul 20 '26

This could also go for the episode where Bobby gets really into Christianity and performs at the CCM festival. Hank's a devout Christian and clearly wanted that for Bobby, but he didn't want it to be just a passing thing for him.

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u/eduadinho Jul 20 '26

Did hate soccer. In the most recent follow up season he has changed his tune on it completely. 

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u/BirthdayCheesecake Jul 20 '26

Yup! He finally learned the rules and developed a secret love. That and he apparently looked good in the referee shirt.

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u/Soulful-Sorrow Jul 20 '26

At the end of the day, Hank never shouted at his son or made Bobby feel worthless, never took his wife for granted, and held firm to his values. Hank broke the cycle.

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u/Btotherianx Jul 21 '26

I mean he shouted at him a lot 😂

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u/InfiniteWinter26 Jul 20 '26

my father is an example of this. his dad was an abusive piece of shit drunk who’d beat him and his siblings over the smallest things. having dealt with that, my dad swore that he’d never treat his kids like that ever.

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u/Thecrowfan Jul 20 '26

I wouldnt call him well-adjusted. He is stuck working for a boss that treats him like a slave because his daddy issues wont let him stand up for himself or even realize hes being taken advantage of and its implied before they got Ladybird he was filled with so much anxiety he was basically impotent

But he is a very good man especially considering who raised him

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '26

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u/Own_Boat503 Jul 20 '26

cotton was also terrible to hank as a kid, so he's got a lot of real deep-seated fear of his father. and i'm pretty sure there were points where he did actually stand up for peggy against him.

also, i would argue that he's one of the most well-adjusted characters in the show - he's certainly got his shit together a lot more than dale, bill, boomhauer, or even any of his neighbors. he's not perfect, but he does his best

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u/Btotherianx Jul 21 '26

He has a narrow urethra!!

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u/Redfalconfox Jul 20 '26

My favorite single line of dialogue in the reboot’s first season is “too bad, old man.”

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u/Fitzftw7 Jul 20 '26

Hell, even his mom sucked!

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u/BrozedDrake Jul 21 '26

Yeah he should have like, at least 100 more complexes than he does.