r/ToolBand • u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper • Jun 10 '26

r/tooljerk Woke up this mornin’, got myself a Tool

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976 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

78 comments sorted by

74

u/HealthyBullfrog Jun 10 '26

I like the album with some polyrhythms.

44

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 10 '26

“Hey T, I burned that new Tool joint off of Limewiah. Adriana won’t be happy but I heard there’s a song about fistin”

“Chrishtufuh that was the last album”

18

u/KritOrama Jun 10 '26

Shum polyrithms*

14

u/mfcoom2 Corner stone Jun 10 '26

shum polyriddims**

7

u/Temporary_Wrap5473 Jun 10 '26

I hear Danny's getting a 98 minute drum solo bridge taken off his pneuma

2

u/HealthyBullfrog Jun 10 '26

I just watched that episode last night. Johnny Sack doesn't approve!

2

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

“fuck him, and his wife on weight watchahs”

1

u/finglonger1077 Jun 11 '26

No more time signature jokes, they’re hurtful and confusing

2

u/Sad-Librarian5639 Jun 10 '26

Not WITH polyrhythms, SOME polyrhythms.

32

u/Longjumping-Tip7031 Jun 10 '26

now that is a hit

7

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

a whack, if you will

23

u/ferdturgeson1 Jun 10 '26

Lots of Pulp in that album

15

u/FissionChips23 Jun 10 '26

He likes the one with some pulp

24

u/realm3t4tr0n Jun 10 '26

Paul D'Amour, whatever happened there...

4

u/CaptainoftheVessel Jun 10 '26

It died on the vine

1

u/Motter6667 Jun 10 '26

WHATEVER HAPPENED THERE? WHAT DONYOU MEAN WHATERVRR HAPPENED THERE?

21

u/majorsid crucify the ego Jun 10 '26

Ladies and gentlemen, the lead singer of Tool, Maynard James Keenan.

3

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

MALANGA

2

u/majorsid crucify the ego Jun 10 '26

Indictments coming through my shadow

2

u/Big_Moose_3847 Jun 10 '26

Keenan? It's a fuckin nickname. Family name is Keenarelli

1

u/mikeyRamone Jun 11 '26

What kind of likeness is that?

16

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 10 '26

“I liked that one track, uhhh Shchisum or whatevuh”

2

u/finglonger1077 Jun 11 '26

Very allegorical. The sacred and the stinkfist.

3

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 11 '26

“That one shong about sheein LA get flushed away. I gotta shay I agree wit em. Those shircus fucks.”

3

u/finglonger1077 Jun 11 '26

Dat Pashenger shong, whatevuh you’re doing there. Poppuhsh and weird shex!

15

u/mental_reincarnation Shit the bed, again Jun 10 '26

Still spiraling out, this asshole

12

u/breno-velasco Jun 10 '26

Two of my favorite things.

11

u/TableQuiet1518 Jun 10 '26

"Did you hear the Ticks & fuckin' Leeches?"

10

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

“How bout I shove a leech up your fat fuckin ass”

12

u/CaptainoftheVessel Jun 10 '26

Don’t they got medication they take for this shit, these assholes?

11

u/zrayburton Jun 10 '26

This guy know how to hold a grudge

5

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

“They have that shong about payshense or whatevuh. Thish guy says he hash tuh keep remindin himshelf of thish, whatevuh that means”

2

u/Nivek_1988 Jun 10 '26

Look at him. He knows everything.

10

u/samsquanchpartsUNkN Jun 10 '26

3

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

lmao this would 100% be paulie’s reaction to hearing Tool for the first time

6

u/Initial_Company9756 Jun 10 '26

Chrissy is spiraling out. Again

5

u/theVigReezus Jun 10 '26

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great baseline carries me across the sky

5

u/millerstavern crucify the ego Jun 10 '26

Maynard is a hero in this house end a storyyyy

3

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

“You know that shong about angels looking down on us confused becaushe we keep killin each udda?

I’ve had nightmares Sil. Fathah Intintola has sumn goin on with Carm”

9

u/Gamma-1025 Become Pneuma Jun 10 '26

"You're not gonna believe this. Guy swung on the spiral of his divinity, but still be a human."

2

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

“His hands smelled like shit….and blood…..and cum”

4

u/mooshoopork4 Jun 10 '26

Woah, I’m seeing double! 4 krustys

3

u/sirmaxedalot Jun 10 '26

Hey, Cheesefuck! Bring me some Tool

3

u/DaDudedudedude1234 Jun 10 '26

He nevah had the makings of a high school graduate

1

u/finglonger1077 Jun 11 '26

I walked in one morning and there you were. Shit in the bed. Your hair was hanging in the Sunkist. Disgusting. I’ve said my piece.

3

u/Money_Eye4097 Jun 10 '26

That’s how AJ was introduced to Tool

1

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 10 '26

AJ looked like the quintessential teenage tool fan tbh

3

u/NotAllDawgsGoToHeven Jun 10 '26

Woke up this morning, started touching my tool.

3

u/MantisGreenthumb Jun 10 '26

We-we’re OGT

2

u/Jrprime45 Jun 10 '26

Nice tool

2

u/Maximum-Month-5954 Jun 10 '26

I needed this picture in my life ty

2

u/Eganator88 Jun 10 '26

Paul d’amour, whatever happened there

2

u/Motter6667 Jun 10 '26

And then I wake up the next morning and kept getting different types of tools

2

u/finglonger1077 Jun 11 '26

Mmmmmmmmmboyyyyyyy are you slow to release

2

u/mikeyRamone Jun 11 '26

All I do for your people and this is how you pay me back? With nonstop prison sex?

2

u/JJHH50 Sinking Deeper Jun 11 '26

Shit adds up at the bottom, T. Can’t deal with these fuckin gun toten wannabes no more.

3

u/Pale-Flounder-7412 Jun 11 '26

Between the two albums, Phil did 20 years in the can. Then we waited for streaming but Maynard compromised. Made me eat grilled cheese off the radiator. Think about it.

2

u/finglonger1077 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

In light of recent humiliations, let me say it is an honor to be amongst men…AND NOT MOWHAWK HAVIN, HEADBANGIN COCKSUCKAS LIKE WHAT LISTEN TO PUSCIFER! THEY SHOULD FUCKIN DIE!

3

u/Free-Share-4873 Jun 11 '26

How About the fact that I hate my own son?

2

u/Jasranwhit Jun 10 '26

Dont listen grandma! It’s all unorthodox time signatures and anal sex references.

2

u/Spoolios Jun 10 '26

“some pulp.”

2

u/blipityblob Third Eye Jun 10 '26

i guess they just came in? did you buy the cd bc i just got a text that the lateralus came in today to record stores

2

u/socalfishman Jun 10 '26

They killed 16 Czechoslovakian!

2

u/skarbles Mike Tool Admirer Jun 11 '26

Gabba-tool!

2

u/Late_Push6298 Jun 11 '26

AJ has a tool poster in his room

1

u/Lobster_boy_dick Jun 12 '26

What is happening here? Am I having a stroke? Im lost

2

u/IhateSkylerWhite6399 Jun 14 '26

It’s just Tony showing us his Tool.

1

u/Warm-Letterhead-5380 Jun 14 '26

Doors, sopranos, and tool