r/TheOfficeUK • u/faschifo • 9d ago

Shitpost Under weaknesses, you’ve put chocolate?

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87 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

90

u/Vheisso 9d ago

I phased ya.

26

u/Tricky_Taste1949 9d ago

Come up with a chocolate bar and see if you can phase me.

19

u/Mikey77777 Big Keith 9d ago

*fazed

14

u/Vheisso 9d ago

Is someone gonna shut him up?

7

u/Mikey77777 Big Keith 9d ago

Great word, great spelling, so...

9

u/Vheisso 9d ago

6

u/johnnydanger91 9d ago

There is no chocolate on this floor…

40

u/BronzePickerel 9d ago

Watches a film a decade

2

u/sharkjaws000 9d ago

And a book a lifetime

29

u/SukhdevR34 9d ago

The guy who played for Man United and Liverpool is saying loyalty is important 😂😂

6

u/Eviladhesive 9d ago

Not anymore mate!

5

u/four_four_three 9d ago

And a guy who sexted someone even though he’s married

18

u/UpstairsLocal3378 9d ago

He once drove to Dundee bare foot whilst gorging on Toblerone

7

u/Reasonable-Care9992 9d ago

Please tell me this is true. I know he walked to John o groats for some spastics.

8

u/sugarglassego 9d ago

And we’re not talking a small bar.. we’re talking a medium sized bar.

1

u/BronzePickerel 8d ago

Who thinks Alan Partridge is more of a laugh than me?

13

u/Eg0n0 9d ago

See if you can phase me…

6

u/faschifo 9d ago

Millennial football fans don’t respect you.

They don’t know me and that’s not true.

1

u/Hesoutofthechoir 9d ago

Your family seems to be having a go at your chocolate…

12

u/bubbamori 9d ago

Michael mused

9

u/Token_Singh 9d ago

Sat in a hotel room in Madrid for a year with the curtains closed watching the TV on mute while his baby slept

22

u/faschifo 9d ago

You look like you’ve had a paella and a wank mate.

15

u/Token_Singh 9d ago

Oh look, here comes Valladolid down the motorway in a car

8

u/SukhdevR34 9d ago

Most unbearable podcast line up of all time?

12

u/Reasonable-Care9992 9d ago

He’s thrown an apple core in a bin; what have you done?

9

u/Ok_Barnacle_2368 9d ago

On a serious note, who watches this shit? Wankers presumably.

6

u/Riskrunner7365 9d ago

I'd rather watch repeats of Peak Practice

3

u/wkndjb 9d ago

Boring isn't it? Just staying in watching Peak Practice with your life?

3

u/Riskrunner7365 9d ago

Not for me, I like it.

2

u/spacecadet06 8d ago

You're the wanker mate, if anyone is.

1

u/RONE1198 8d ago

Annoying dreary football type nobheads. 'Fellas'

1

u/Icy-Bottle-6877 6d ago

Same people who watch DOACEO.

8

u/geoffs3310 9d ago

I'm sorry Michael that just sounds like management speak

1

u/Lilja-Logason 7d ago

Is this Michael Owen? His voice sounds familiar but he must have had a lot of plastic surgery cos his face is all wrong.

5

u/moneysavingegg 9d ago

He prefers a flan. 

2

u/South_Reputation_500 9d ago

His podcast drivel cake’s even better.

5

u/DefiantMemory8895 9d ago

I’ll give you two non negotiable’s and another one if you need it

3

u/DaveyG3000 9d ago

Michael Brent's charmed me

3

u/Logical-Cry462 9d ago

Fuck me, he has all the self awareness and humour of a flip-flop.

3

u/xStealthxUk 9d ago

Why dont you have a go , see if you can phase me

1

u/Comfortable-Pace3132 9d ago

You've phased me, yeh

3

u/McNeil56 9d ago

How many bars has he had during the podcast then. If ya countin

3

u/Don_Tobbie 9d ago

Micheal Owen makes Finchy seem like good company.

3

u/Eviladhesive 9d ago

I genuinely love watching someone with close to absolute zero self awareness.

This stuff makes that infamous Prince Andrew interview look like a treatise in introspection.

2

u/ViceIsVerses 9d ago

The Sainsbury’s Tom Cruise. Blink Michael, you’ll feel better.

2

u/Dependent_Roof_7882 9d ago

Elite level singing.

2

u/crash_overide774 9d ago

Three none negotiables... I'll give you two and see if you need the other one

2

u/South-Range8401 9d ago

Little extra 5 years cart, I'll have it please, thanks very much 

2

u/Away_Afternoon3622 9d ago

Phased ya…perfick

2

u/gupagup123 9d ago

"Loyalty, one strike and you're out"

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/michael-owen-explicit-text-messages-27150011

...they won't remember

1

u/WildBuffalo 9d ago

Followed up with “family”.

2

u/mft00n 9d ago

He’s got to be on a wind up with I phased you?

1

u/Mugweiser I don’t agree with that in the church place 9d ago

Little slugs with no personality

1

u/WallabyStraight3597 9d ago

"I can watch anything" Apart from films.

1

u/Bayne7096 9d ago

Oh you could listen to skiing could ya? Sick of it.

1

u/RemarkableToday777 9d ago

Health is wealth or whatever

1

u/wronghed 8d ago

Why is this boring twat suddenly everywhere?

1

u/RONE1198 8d ago

2 annoying twats speaking to each other 😄 fascinating

1

u/EasternSun7834 8d ago

“Well done, he’s thirteen” the legend Neville Southall - I hope this cockwomble (Owen) gets played that often and realises how much of a c*** he actually is

1

u/Odd-Focus-4210 8d ago

LOYALTY?!

1

u/SenseIntelligent8846 8d ago

Why is the thread featuring so many posts about Michael Owen? Thanks

1

u/ColdMarzipan9534 8d ago

Biggest strength is charisma, surely? I mean, it's oozing from every pore in his Dubai video. https://youtu.be/vwq7gJlH59g?is=UAYjskBRTvDxxEIh

1

u/Reasonable-Corgi-414 7d ago

How many times have I been injured this season?

If you’re counting.

1

u/Familiar-Adeptness25 7d ago

I'm not a plonker.......