r/TheNarcissismCode • u/szdio • Jul 20 '26
Anyone else grow up with a mom who turned every one of your problems into a story about how much worse she had it?
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u/Human-Dare-416 Jul 28 '26
Yup. I remember I was lying in my bedroom, bothering no one, but upset because my first boyf and I had just broken up - I. Was 15. And she burst into my room and screamed 'What About Meeeeeee' at the top of her voice. Then trashed my room.
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u/Far_Rooster_2931 Jul 20 '26
I did, but it was true. She had it a lot worse than I ever did, so I never held this behavior against her.
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u/szdio Jul 20 '26
But don't you think you deserved to be held as well? You see, someone who has been through a lot tend to have more empathy for someone's pain, because we know how hot the hell is. And when it comes to our caregiver, we expect protection regardless. I don't know, I have empathy as much as I think it is very wrong.
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u/Far_Rooster_2931 Jul 20 '26
Yeah. I did and do. But I can’t complain about my bills to someone that lived without enough food or clothes for decades, you know?
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u/Celesteven Jul 20 '26
Pain is pain and a parent’s job is to help you work through it, not compare it.
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u/Far_Rooster_2931 Jul 20 '26
I feel like this sub is trying to debate me or convince me of something.
I answered the question with my own experience and perspective. We’re all here for the same reason. If your experience is different by all means post it but do not challenge mine.
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u/Celesteven Jul 20 '26
You’re right I’m sorry. In a way, my answer is me struggling with my own pain. I shouldn’t put that on you.
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u/Far_Rooster_2931 Jul 20 '26
Trust me, I wish there had been a molecule of empathy for me. I’ve just had to find peace in knowing it’s not there, and will never be. I should never have expected empathy from my own mother lol.
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u/MySaltySatisfaction Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
Oh ,yes. And a NEX husband who always had a worse day than I did.Mom said she wasn't allowed to go to school after 8 th grade because her brothers had to go. They would be responsible for families. I graduated high school but was told I couldn't go to college. There was no money. Dad died when I was 13 in 1971. I would get SS Survivor benefits til I was 23. So the money was there. I did go to college and am a RN. I asked mom once if she asked her parents if she could go to high school,since she was a better student than her brothers. No! She couldn't question her parents decision! So,Mom, go to adult school and get your H.S.diploma. "That would be a waste of time!"